The Most Magical Gift of All (16 page)

Diana gave her a speculative look. ‘You know, you're pretty good yourself with Imogen, considering you had the harder job.'

Sophie's hand stalled on the nappy pin. ‘What do you mean?'

‘Jack's known Imogen on and off for five years, but you've only been in her life for three weeks. He has the history and the emotional attachment, and Im trusts him. But to Im you were just another stranger in the parade of many who've moved through her life. You've done an awesome job, getting her to trust you so quickly. I think you just need to start trusting yourself.'

I hate you, Sophie.

I want Sophie.

She gave the nappy pin a hard push through the layers of material. ‘Life's just not that simple, Diana.'

‘It doesn't have to be complicated, either.' Diana leaned over, picked up a hand-made card and passed it to Sophie. On the cover was a child's drawing of a couple with a baby. ‘Im drew this for Max, Caitlyn and I. Open it.'

Sophie turned over the cover and inside was a picture of three stick figures—a little girl with curly black hair holding hands with a tall man with black hair and a
woman whose head was twice as wide with huge, red curls. All wore huge smiles.

We're a family.
Im had drawn the three of them as a family. The family Imogen wanted. The family Jack wanted.

It's time you accepted you're a good mother.

You're not a teenager any more, you're a mature woman. Trust yourself that you can do this.

Her heart both cried and sang at the same time and a tear rolled down her cheek.
A family.
She wanted this.

Will you come back?

Of course I'll come back.

Her breath stalled as maternal pain tore through so hard and fast it almost ripped her in half. What had she done? She'd been given the gift of unconditional love from a wonderful man and a gutsy little girl, and she'd run from their love because she didn't trust herself.

She'd broken Imogen's trust. She'd made Jack hate her.

And all for what? Jack had been right; he'd seen straight through her. She'd been letting fear rule her life and now she'd lost everything she'd ever needed. A sob caught in her throat as she recalled Jack's harsh and unforgiving expression when he'd ordered her out of the house.

How did she even start to make amends and get back her family she'd so badly rejected?

S
OPHIE
stumbled to her feet, dizzy with the need to see Jack and Imogen and to try to make everything right. ‘Caitlyn's fine to make her debut in the kinder nativity-play in a few hours.'

‘Sophie, sit down, you're ashen.'

She ignored the nurse's command and ran from the room, dumping her white coat at the desk, grabbing her phone and pager and sprinting to the car park. She turned on the ignition and floored the accelerator, sending gravel flying as she sped down the road. Five minutes later she got stuck behind a slow sheep-transport truck, and the stream of cars heading into town for the evening's Christmas Eve festivities prevented her from overtaking. The usual fifteen-minute trip turned into twenty-five, and she almost wept.

Turning at the
Santa, please stop here
sign, she bounced down the track and roared in over the cattle grid. Jack's vehicle was in the drive parked alongside a Mercedes Kompressor. Her heart quivered as panic fluttered in her chest. All she'd been able to think about since leaving the hospital was getting to the Armitage house and finding Jack. Talking to Jack.

She hadn't anticipated visitors. Her head spun and her chest heaved, her breath coming way too fast. She
pushed back from the steering wheel and blew out a long, slow breath, trying to get herself under control. This was her one shot at happiness and she had to get it right.

She started to walk up the front steps, planning on ringing the bell, when she heard voices—male and female—shouting out Imogen's name.

Jack strode around the veranda and stopped short. His thick hair, usually so neat, was spiked up as if his hands had ploughed through it and his handsome face was haggard. ‘What the hell are you doing here?'

His words stabbed bluntly through her heart. ‘I need to talk to you, I—'

‘I don't want to talk to you.' He marched past her, making a funnel with his hands, and called out, ‘Im?'

An older woman's voice called out in the distance, ‘Imogen, come back, sweetheart. Immy.'

A sliver of dread crawled across Sophie's skin. ‘Jack, where's Imogen?'

He turned, his eyes sparking white like flint, but that didn't disguise the desperation and fear. ‘Do you really care?'

The bullet hit, ripping through her, but before she could reply a woman similar in age to Jack ran around the front of the house. ‘She's not in the chook shed, the tree house, the sandpit, swing set or the pool.'

An older woman who Sophie recognised instantly as Jack's mother stepped out of the front door onto the veranda. ‘I've been through the cottage garden twice and she's not there.'

‘And I've checked under the house, the garage and the shed.' Jack ran his hand across the back of his neck. ‘Ring the police, Mum, and get a search party happening. Jules, you double back and check out the garden
again, and I'll take the quad bike down the back track in case she wandered down there.'

‘Down there' was the gorge, a place full of dangers for an adult, let alone a five-year-old. Panic morphed into full-blown fear. Sophie grabbed Jack's arm, pulling hard to stop him from walking down the steps. ‘How long has she been gone?'

‘An hour.'

Her heart cramped. That was a long time for a child to be lost in this heat, in the vast expanse of outback that surrounded them. She thought back over the last three weeks, all the hours and days she'd spent with Imogen. If anything, she tended to be clingy because of her mother's abandonment and always wanted to stay close for cuddles and stories. Her sudden disappearance didn't make any sense. ‘But why would she wander off? She's never done that before.'

Jack's hand grasped hers and threw it off his arm. ‘This is
your
fault, Sophie.'

His anger and pain blasted through her so hard she swayed and needed to grab hold of a veranda post to keep her upright.

‘Jack.' Min shook her head as if to say, ‘don't; concentrate on Imogen'.

This is
your
fault.
Sophie struggled not to let fear and guilt envelop her and steal away all her control. Had Imogen been so distraught by her leaving that she'd run away? A wail rose in her chest but somehow she forced it back down. There'd be a lifetime for recriminations, but right now she had to find her little girl.

‘Where did you see her last?' Sophie heard the plea in her voice as she glanced around at everyone.

‘We've got this covered, Sophie. You can leave.' Jack held his arm out towards the steps, dismissing her.

Min sighed and turned to Sophie. ‘It was just as Juliet arrived. Immy was so excited about the concert and was begging us to let her wear her costume. We'd given in and said she could wear it but that she had to play quietly with the Christmas train, and that's what she was happily doing. We walked down the hall to greet Juliet, and when we walked back she was gone.'

Where could she be? The heat haze from the red earth beyond the garden shimmered, mocking her, saying that the desert could so easily swallow up a child and never return her.
You've lost her.

No, I have not!
She closed her ears to the argument in her head, to the fears that plagued her, just like she'd used to block out the noise of the falling bombs. She sought the place where she could really think.

I like to play here
.

Sophie instantly remembered the time Imogen had vanished on her when she'd been playing quietly and an idea rushed in. ‘Have you checked inside the house?'

‘God, Sophie, do you think we're stupid? Of course we've checked the house.' Jack stormed towards the steps.

‘I think I might know where she is.' Without stopping to explain, she pulled the wire door open and ran down the hall, calling over her shoulder, ‘Mrs Armitage, is it OK if I go into your room?'

‘Of course it is.'

Sophie's heart thundered against her ribs.
Imogen, darling, be here—please be here.
She wrenched open the wardrobe door and reached in, pulling on the light. She started to cry, great, racking sobs that came from so deep they shuddered all the way through her as she tossed out shoe boxes and hat boxes and Christmas presents. She fell to her knees and crawled in.

Tears blurred her vision, but she could make out a familiar shape. Imogen lay fast asleep in the far corner of the wardrobe, her head on a cushion and her arms wrapped around Sheils. Somehow, between sobs, Sophie found her voice and yelled out, ‘I've found her.'

She hauled the child into her arms, buried her face in her apple-scented hair and let her tears fall.

‘Jack, Sophie's found her.'

She heard Min's voice calling out faintly in the distance.

Imogen slowly opened her eyes, blinked and then smiled. ‘I hided, but they didn't find me.'

Sophie smiled and sniffed. ‘They didn't know about our special place, did they?' She stroked Imogen's hair. ‘But we need to tell everyone about it because they thought you were lost.'

The little girl shook her head with all the logic of a child. ‘I wasn't lost, I was here. Why are you crying?'

Sophie wiped her face with the back of her hand. ‘Because I've missed you.'

Imogen snuggled in. ‘Jack says doctors have to work at the hospital.'

More tears spilled out, rolling down already damp cheeks. Jack might hate her, but he hadn't bad-mouthed her to Imogen. A flicker of hope flared for a moment before dying away. Did that mean anything more than the fact that Jack was a good and decent man? Probably not. God, her life was the biggest mess. ‘Come on, honey, let's go and show everyone you're OK.'

Footsteps pounded on the floorboards as Sophie nudged Imogen out of the wardrobe. She didn't follow. She heard Jack's voice, gruff with emotion, Min's and Juliet's sweeter tones telling her how worried they'd
been, and that if she wanted to play hide and seek she must tell them before hiding.

The voices faded away along with the footsteps and Sophie sat with her head on her knees, psyching herself to leave the relative safety of the hiding space before she launched herself once more into her self-created, personal hell. Could she get Jack to speak with her? He'd made it pretty clear he didn't want to have anything to do with her.

When the room had been silent for a couple of minutes, she crawled backwards out of the wardrobe, stood up, turned around and gasped.

Jack sat on his mother's bed, dishevelled, gorgeous and grim. Her heart rolled over. Nothing resembling forgiveness hovered on his cheeks, only chilled resentment.

His violet eyes bored into her. ‘How did you know she was in there?'

She tilted her chin and met his gaze, knowing only the truth could save her. Save them. ‘Maternal instinct.'

His body jerked as if he'd been shocked by a jolt of electricity. ‘Three days ago you insisted you didn't have any of that.'

‘I know. I was wrong.'

‘Wrong?' His brows rose with scepticism.

She nodded, biting her lip hard. ‘I've been wrong about everything.'

‘You're right about that.' But his frosty expression had thawed slightly and the harsh corner of his mouth had softened.

A strangled sound escaped her lips and she fell to her knees, seeking forgiveness. The tension in his body slammed hard against her, screaming emotional ruthlessness and judgement, but she centred herself and kept on going. ‘I've made a complete hash of everything,
Jack. I couldn't see the future like you could and I was so scared I'd ruin it that I ran from it, just like you accused me of doing.'

He held himself stiffly, his hands fisted by his side. ‘What brought you back?'

‘You. Imogen.'

His throat convulsed, but still he didn't touch her. ‘How do I know you're not going to run again at the first hard moment?'

She stared up into his violet eyes, knowing she'd violated his trust in her so badly that it was only by baring her soul that she could attempt to repair the damage. ‘Because you and Imogen are the only things in my life that make sense. I love her and I love you, Jack. You're my laughter, my joy, my heartache and my soul mate. Without you I'm an empty vessel, but with you I truly live.'

From the moment Jack had seen Sophie on the veranda he'd lurched from wanting to hate her to wanting to pull her into his arms and never let her go. His previous fear for Imogen had unravelled him to the point of incoherency—to have lost them both would have killed him. Now he gazed down into Sophie's tear-stained face and saw the truth in her eyes, heard it in her voice; his hurt faded and his battered heart healed. She really did love him and Im.

He pulled her towards him and buried his face in her hair. ‘God, Sophie, I thought I'd lost both of you.'

Her arms wrapped around his waist, her head on his chest. ‘Then you totally understand how I've been feeling.'

He tilted her chin up with his fingers so he could see her face. ‘I so do. Are you absolutely certain you want to
make a family and live the life of an Armitage? Because I can't go through the last two days ever again.'

‘I'm so sorry I put us through this, Jack. I love you. I love everything about you—even the lists.'

He instantly relaxed. ‘You really do love me.'

Her eyes shone and she smiled. ‘I really do love you, and seeing I'm down on my knees it seems appropriate that I ask you a question.'

He grinned. ‘Is that why you're down there?'

She laughed and playfully slapped his thigh. ‘Jack Armitage, will you make me the happiest woman in the world by making an honest woman of me, living with me in Barragong and helping me raise our children?'

Joy flooded him and he pulled her to her feet before rolling her onto the bed and kissing her thoroughly. Now he was truly home.

Sophie gave herself up to his kiss, loving the feel of his body pressing against her and his mouth roving over her lips, but as his hand touched her breast she gave him a gentle push, breaking the kiss. ‘We're in your mother's bedroom.'

He laughed a wicked chuckle. ‘I never thought I'd find your sexual-embarrassment button.'

She gave him a sheepish smile. ‘I really want to have a good relationship with your mother, but acting like a total tart in her bedroom on the first day I meet her might jeopardise things.'

He trailed a finger down her cheek. ‘She's going to love you. She'll be in seventh heaven, because this Christmas she's getting a new daughter and a granddaughter.' He stood up and pulled her with him. ‘Come on, let's go and tell everyone the good news.'

‘Can I at least splash my face? I must look a fright.'

He cupped her cheeks. ‘You're beautiful, Sophie. I
think I've loved you from the moment you and your backpack walked in the hospital.'

She laid her head on his shoulder, in awe that she'd found this man so full of love, care and delicious sexuality, and he that he loved her back. ‘You had me weak at the knees with your bad-boy persona, but I fell in love with all of you.'

‘So if things ever get a bit stale all I need to do is take us for a ride on the bike?'

She grinned. ‘That will do it every time.' But her smile faded because she knew there was one more thing she had to ask. ‘Jack, I know you say your trip is no longer necessary, but are you absolutely certain you have no regrets?'

He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. ‘We'll get a locum and you, Imogen and I will take a three-month holiday. We'll camp under the stars at Uluru, feed the dolphins at Monkey Mia and swim in the crystal waters of Jim Jim Falls, and by the time we get back you'll be a fair-dinkim Aussie.'

‘That sounds perfect to me.'

 

Santa came to Barragong on the CFS fire truck, his suit as red and rosy as the vehicle. His jolly belly wobbled, and his violet eyes sparkled as he handed out lollies and listened to the children's gift requests.