The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (15 page)

ILLNESS AND MEDICATIONS

Any chronic illness can decrease sex drive and the ability to orgasm. In particular, diabetes, heart disease, and stroke can impair the physiologic process of orgasm. Severe or long-standing high blood pressure and high cholesterol can also have adverse effects, as can certain neurologic conditions.

Some of these effects can be reversed and/or treated with medications, so consult your physician for assistance.

Many medications can influence your sex drive as well. See the box below for a comprehensive list of the most frequently used. Some common offenders are antidepressants and antihypertensive medications. It would be worth discussing with your doctor whether there are other medications if the ones you are on seem to be negatively influencing your sex drive. Most physicians will not bring up this subject unless the patient specifically asks, so don’t be shy. In many cases there are alternative medications available. In a few cases, the only optimal medication is one that will negatively influence your sex drive. Try to do everything else you can to optimize your sensual and sexual life if this is the case.

COMMON DRUGS THAT DECREASE YOUR LIBIDO

Amiodarone (Cordarone)

Methyldopa (Aldomet)

Amitriptyline (Elavil)

Metoclopramide (Reglan)

Carbamazepine (Tegretol)

Metoprolol (Lopressor)

Cimetidine (Tagamet)

Phenytoin (Dilantin)

Diazepam (Valium)

Progesterone

Digoxin (Lanoxin)

Propranolol (Inderal)

Ketoconazole (Nizoral)

Ranitidine (Zantac)

Lithium

Spironolactone (Aldactone)

COMMON DRUGS THAT DECREASE YOUR

ABILITY TO ORGASM

Alcohol

Fluoxetine (Prozac)

Alprazolam (Xanax)

Labetolol (Trandate, Normodyne)

Amitriptyline (Elavil)

Methyldopa (Aldomet)

Amphetamines

Narcotics

Clonidine (Catapres)

Sertraline (Zoloft)

Diazepam (Valium)

Recreational drugs can also have negative effects on your sexual function-ing. Common offenders are cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, opiates (heroin and others), speed, and hallucinogens. The best sex (and the best sexual energy) depends on a clean body, mind, and heart. Healing Love can be a more intense and healthier high than any artificial drug—with no hangover the next morning.

RELATIONSHIP AND LIFESTYLE

If there is no physiologic reason for your loss of orgasm, look at your relationship and lifestyle. Do you have a new partner? Are there emotional issues with a current partner? Is there open communication in your relationship? Is your partner caressing you enough? Are you getting the stimulation of your erogenous zones (clitoris, breasts, most sensitive vaginal areas) that you need? Sexual satisfaction also depends on a lifestyle that supports the health of your body, mind, and spirit. Have circumstances in your life changed that have led to increased anxiety or decreased sleep? In order to have a healthy sex life, you have to have a healthy life. You need to be getting enough rest and have relaxed time to be sexual. If you don’t already have one, you might consider starting an exercise program. Studies show that women who get thirty minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week reported an increased ability to climax after starting their exercise program. This may be the result of improved cardiovascular health, increased blood flow to the genital area,

or just feeling more comfortable in and better about their body.
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Remember that if you have previously been able to experience orgasm,

the likelihood of your being able to do so again is extremely high. Be patient. Do some of the exploratory exercises at the beginning of the chapter. If you are still having difficulty, you might want to consider consulting a sex therapist. In addition, one of the major signs of depression is decreased libido. If you feel that this might be the cause of your sexual difficulties, it is all the more important to consult a therapist or your physician.

Finally, as we discussed above, the Healing Love practice involves much more than orgasms. In the following chapters, as you open yourself up to greater pleasure, healing, intimacy, and spiritual growth, you will find sources of joy that make the question of whether you did or did not have an orgasm seem insignificant.

CHAPTER 3

In this chapter, you will discover:

• How to Cultivate and Channel Your Sexual Energy
  

• How to Use Your Sexual Energy to Revitalize Yourself
  

• How to Have Whole-Body Orgasms
  

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The Taoists recognized several levels of orgasm, each with ever greater levels of intensity and healing.

Multiplying your orgasms is marvelous, but it is really only the beginning. As you learn to cultivate your sexual energy, you can expand your orgasms throughout your body and generate sexual energy that will invigorate and heal you for hours after lovemaking. The Taoists recognized several levels of orgasm, each with ever greater levels of intensity and healing.

Finding the W ay

Expanding Levels of Orgasm

• GENITAL ORGASM: The genital orgasm is the orgasm most often experienced. Genital orgasms are generally quick and do not release a great deal of healing energy.
  

• WHOLE-BODY ORGASM: The whole-body orgasm, which we describe in this chapter, comes from circulating the sexual energy to your brain and throughout your body.
  

• SOUL ORGASM: Finally, the soul orgasm, which we will discuss in chapter 7 as “soul-mating,” comes from exchanging energy and fusing with one’s partner.
  

How is it possible to turn the momentary orgasmic contractions into long-lasting states of ecstasy? It all begins with your arousal or sexual energy, which you have learned about in the last two chapters. As we discussed there, the expansion of our sexual energy (what we naively call “getting horny”) is the secret to our sex life and our life itself. It is through sexual energy that we are conceived, and it is sexual energy that is the basis of our health, creativity, and joy, both in and out of bed.

Learning to cultivate your sexual energy will give you a sexual freedom that few people have: it will allow you to be sexual whenever you want and to circulate this powerful sexual energy to revitalize the rest of your life when you do not. Michael Winn, one of the Senior Universal Tao instructors, explains that sexual energy is available to us twenty-four hours a day, but most of us starve ourselves and believe that we can satisfy our needs for this heal-

ing energy with just a few minutes of intercourse. One of the most liberating realizations for people who practice Healing Love is that they have access to their sexual energy anytime and anywhere.

First, we must begin to understand what this sexual energy is (beyond some uncontrollable horniness or long-lost desire that comes and goes as it pleases). Then we can learn how it relates to the rest of our bodily energy and to our life as a whole.

Your Energy

As we mentioned in the Introduction, Healing Love, or Sexual Kung Fu, developed as part of Chinese medicine, which is one of the world’s oldest healing systems and responsible for effective therapies such as acupuncture,

One of the most liberating realizations for people who practice Healing Love is that they have access to their sexual energy anytime and anywhere.