The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories Part II (35 page)

Cut to:

SCENE 25. INT. AN EAST END PUB.

Full, raucous and a bit frightening. Conversations, arguments, laughter.

Glass breaks. An ironic cheer goes up.

Closer, some of the regulars react to an incongruous sight...

REGULARS: Look what the cat dragged home / Slumming it, are you dearie? / Gordon Bennett, it's champagne Charlie hisself...

The object of their attention makes it unscathed to the bar.

LANDLADY: Good evening sir. What's your pleasure?

HOLMES: Whisky, please. And have one yourself.

LANDLADY: Thank you sir. (
Louder, pointedly
) Pleasure to encounter a real gent, for a change.

REGULARS: (
Good–natured jeers
)

Holmes fishes out coins as the landlady pours his drink.

LANDLADY: There. Best in the house.

HOLMES: Thank you.

LANDLADY: (
Lower
) Now sir, what tickles your fancy? Big, skinny, ripe for the plucking, what're you after?

HOLMES: What I'm after is information.

LANDLADY: (
Suddenly cagey
) What sort of information?

HOLMES: Do you know a man called Guttridge?

Cut to:

SCENE 26. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

HOLMES: It was a mistake, of course. She shut her mouth and didn't open it again.

WATSON: They're very suspicious of strangers in those parts. Especially ones from up west.

HOLMES: Yes, so I discovered. It was a stupid miscalculation.

Cut to:

SCENE 27. INT. THE READING ROOM, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

SMITH: Don't berate yourself. The basic idea was perfectly sound.

HOLMES: If you want the local gossip go to the local pub. (
Ruefully
) Just don't go dressed for the opera.

SMITH: I trust you didn't give up the quest quite that easily.

HOLMES: Of course not. I waited until it was full dark and went round to the house itself.

Cut to:

SCENE 28. EXT. OUTSIDE THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE. NIGHT.

Cripplegate Square is not in a salubrious neighbourhood. Distant raised voices, dogs, perhaps even a muffled scream from well in the distance.

HOLMES (
over
): The area wasn't... pleasant. Guttridge's Private Orphanage was a rambling old building set back from the street. It must have been quite a place in its day.

WATSON (
over
): Didn't you feel even more conspicuous there than in the pub?

HOLMES (
over
): Oddly enough, no I didn't. Evening wear is ideally suited to hiding in the undergrowth. Every burglar should invest in a set of tails.

In the scene, the front door opens. Two women emerge.

WOMAN: (
Sobbing
)

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Easy now. Easy. She'll be safe and well–cared for. And you can come and visit her whenever you want, I've told you that.

WOMAN: I don't think I could bear it. I really don't.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: I understand. But if you change your mind, there's always a welcome for you here.

WOMAN: You're so kind. Without you, I... I'd have had to...

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Now there's no sense dwelling on might–have–beens. Will you be all right going home?

WOMAN: It's not far. I'll be quite safe. Oh...

With a final rush of emotion, she hugs Mrs. Guttridge.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: There, there child. It's mended. Everything's all right now.

Cut to:

SCENE 29. INT. SMITH'S OFFICE, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

HOLMES: It was immensely frustrating. I could see in the front door, but I couldn't learn anything of use. And there was no sign of Mr. Guttridge at all. If I'm going to see this thing through, I need to get inside.

SMITH: And how exactly do you propose to do that?

HOLMES: I don't know yet.

SMITH: If I might make a small suggestion?

HOLMES: Please do.

SMITH: This could be an ideal opportunity to put some of that expensive university experience to good use.

HOLMES: Applied chemistry?

SMITH: That wasn't what I had in mind, no. Try to think in something other than straight lines.

Cut to:

SCENE 30. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

WATSON: So that's where you got it from.

HOLMES: Watson, you're interrupting my flow. Got what from?

WATSON: That infuriating expression. How many times have you told me to stop thinking in straight lines?

HOLMES: It's very good advice.

WATSON: Well, did it work?

HOLMES: Actually, yes, it did.

Cut to:

SCENE 31. EXT. AN EAST END STREET. DAY.

Holmes is in disguise. He's a market supervisor - working class but not the lowest rung.

HOLMES: ‘Scuse me, mate.

MAN: Yeah?

HOLMES: I'm looking for Guttridge's Orphanage. D'you know it?

Cut to:

SCENE 32. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

WATSON: Are you really saying - (
that was the first time...
)

Holmes is annoyed at yet another interruption.

HOLMES: Watson.

WATSON: Sorry. But this is fascinating. You're saying that was the very first time you ever used a disguise?

HOLMES: Exactly so. Thinking sideways, you see? What did I do at university apart from study - I acted.

WATSON: You've never told me that.

HOLMES: You've never asked me. May I continue?

WATSON: No more interruptions, I promise. What did you find when you got to the orphanage?

HOLMES: What I expected to find. My primary suspect.

Cut to:

SCENE 33. EXT. THE FRONT PORCH, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE. DAY.

Holmes is still in character
.

GUTTRIDGE: Yes?

HOLMES: I want to see Mrs. Guttridge.

GUTTRIDGE: What makes you think she's here?

HOLMES: Look, mate, don't mess me about. This is Guttridge's Private Orphanage, right? Where else is she going to be?

GUTTRIDGE: (
Very suspicious
) Who are you?

HOLMES: (
Less aggressively
) I'm someone who wants to see the... proprietor. Look, please.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: (
Off, inside
) Who is it, Toby?

GUTTRIDGE: Someone for you.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: (
Approaching
) Then why didn't you send Jenny to find me? (
She sees Holmes. A moment
) Good afternoon.

HOLMES: Mrs. Guttridge? I was told... Look...

A moment.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: It's a chilly day. We'll be more comfortable inside.

Cut to:

SCENE 34. INT. THE PARLOUR, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

Mrs. Guttridge and Holmes sit.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: That's better. Now, I expect you'd like some tea.

She rings a small handbell.

HOLMES: (
Hastily
) No, that's all right. Don't bother on my account.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: It's no bother.

She rings again.

Where is that girl?

HOLMES: Look, really...

The door opens. It's Jenny.

JENNY: Yes, ma'am?

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Tea please, Jenny. And some of the cherry cake.

JENNY: Ma'am.

Cut to:

SCENE 35. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

WATSON: Did she recognise you?

HOLMES: I was sure she would. But no, she didn't. Quite a boost to my confidence, I can tell you.

WATSON: It's not easy to imagine your confidence ever needing a boost.

HOLMES: It was a long time ago.

Cut to:

SCENE 36. INT. THE PARLOUR, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

Mrs. Guttridge is pouring the tea.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Now, Mr...?

HOLMES: Hawkins, ma'am. Albert Hawkins.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Now, Mr. Hawkins. You drink your tea and I'll tell you why you've come to me.

HOLMES: Ma'am?

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: There.

She passes him the tea.

Both in and out of character, Holmes is a touch nonplussed.

HOLMES: Thanks. What do you mean, ma'am?
You'll
tell
me
?

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: My dear Mr. Hawkins, people only come here for one reason. The details vary, but the basic facts are always the same. Now let me see... You're in work, yes?

HOLMES: Market supervisor.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Decent enough pay but not enough to feed one more mouth. Am I right?

HOLMES: We've got five already. Look, no offence and all, but if there was any other way I wouldn't be here.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: You're not alone, Mr. Hawkins. Oh no, you're definitely not alone. At least you're not contemplating something more... drastic.

HOLMES: I'll have nothing to do with that! And no more will my Elsie. I've seen what those butchers do.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: And so have I, I'm sorry to say. We shan't mention it again. Does your wife know you're here?

HOLMES: Oh yes.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Good. Well, we do have space at the moment. Would you like to see round the house?

HOLMES: I wouldn't mind. Put my mind at rest, like.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Of course. Drink up your tea and I'll give you a tour.

Cut to:

SCENE 37. INT. A BEDROOM, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

The babies are asleep. Odd noises.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: (
Low
) You've made a good choice, Mr. Hawkins. I never take in more babies than I can cope with, unlike some, I'm sorry to say.

HOLMES: (
Low
) We have heard stories, my Else and me.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: And some of them are undoubtedly true, I'm afraid.

HOLMES: What happens if they get sick?

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: I can care for most common illnesses myself. And of course we're registered with a local doctor.

HOLMES: Good. That's good... And they do look all right, like. Look at ‘em sleeping so peaceful. Happy, and that... (
He can't continue, overcome with emotion
)

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Oh, my dear young man. I realize how hard this must be for you.

HOLMES: Hard? Hard's not the half of it.

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Of course it's not. And nothing I can say to you will ease the pain. But look around you, Mr. Hawkins. These babies are clean and well–fed and content. If I can give your little one those blessings, well, isn't that better than the life he'll face outside these walls?

HOLMES: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Course it is. (
A moment
) So - I suppose all I need to know now... Well... (
He trails off
)

MRS. GUTTRIDGE: I think there's still some cherry cake downstairs. We can discuss the practicalities over some more tea. Come along.

Cut to:

SCENE 38. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

HOLMES: “The practicalities” turned out to be three-pence a day or a single payment of five pounds.

WATSON: (
A whistle
)

HOLMES: Yes, it was certainly more than the going rate, I checked. But it was a superior establishment.

WATSON: How many working class women could afford five pounds?

HOLMES: Well, when you consider the alternatives...

WATSON: I'm afraid the alternatives are the only way for most people in that position. Something's going to have to be done, you know. Sooner or later.

HOLMES: I agree. But we are straying somewhat from the story.

WATSON: Sorry. Did you manage to see that medicine store room?

HOLMES: It would have been too out of character, I'm afraid. But I did at least succeed in getting another look at the alleged child–killer. He was summoned to show me out.

Cut to:

SCENE 39. INT. THE HALLWAY, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

Holmes and Guttridge approach.

HOLMES: Your wife's a wonderful woman, Mr. Guttridge.

GUTTRIDGE: So I'm constantly being told.

HOLMES: You must be proud of her.

GUTTRIDGE: There are perhaps... nobler ways to make a living.

HOLMES: I can't think of any. She's a real Godsend, she is.

Guttridge opens the front door.

GUTTRIDGE: Do you say so.

HOLMES: (
Leaving
) I do, sir. God bless her - and you too.

GUTTRIDGE: Good day to you, Mr. Hawkins.

He shuts the door.

(
Breathes deeply
)

Cut to:

SCENE 40. INT. SMITH'S OFFICE, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

HOLMES: There's a definite undercurrent of... I'm not sure - hate, possibly. Weariness, distaste... But I'm not prepared to brand him as a murderer on the strength of it.

SMITH: I'm pleased to hear it.

HOLMES: I have to know what's in that medicine store.

SMITH: And how do you propose to find out?

HOLMES: I've thought of two separate ways. Neither of them is ideal. One is positively illegal.

SMITH: And the other?

Cut to:

SCENE 41. INT. A GALLERY, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

Open and echoing.

JENNY: No! I can't!

HOLMES: Jenny...

JENNY: Suppose he catches me?

HOLMES: I'll make sure he's out of the way.

JENNY: But I wouldn't know what to look for.

HOLMES: I'll give you a list.

JENNY: A list? Oh, sir... What good's a list to me?

HOLMES: (
Realising
) You can't read.

JENNY: Nor write. No, sir, I can't.

Cut to:

SCENE 42. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

WATSON: Thank God for it. Holmes, what the devil were you thinking of?