Authors: Sally MacKenzie
“Do I love her?” Stephen gaped at Damian’s wife. “I’ve only just met her.”
“Jo, let me put it in terms my
male
friend might understand.” Damian grinned. “Do you lust after her?”
Bloody hell. Stephen felt a hot flush climb his neck. Did he lust after Anne? He pictured her in her hideously drab, shapeless brown dress.
No, he didn’t.
He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“How can it be more complicated?” Damian reached for the brandy he’d abandoned on a side table when his wife had arrived. “You either want her or you don’t. I’d say you don’t.” He took a sip. “You can’t marry her if you don’t desire her. That would be hell.”
“Hell for her, too,” Lady Kenderly said.
Blast and damn. His insides were all twisted up. He didn’t know how he felt, which was a completely foreign state of affairs for him. He
always
knew his own mind.
He might not know his mind, but he knew his duty. “I compromised her; I have to marry her.” He shrugged. “I’ve just turned thirty—it’s time I wed.” He tried to grin. “My mother certainly thinks so.”
“Thirty is not ancient,” Damian said. “You have plenty of time. It’s not like you have a title to secure.”
Lady Kenderly sucked in her breath and said in mock anger, “So that’s why you wed me!”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Jo. I wed you because I was mad for you.” Damian shook his head. “You can’t marry the woman if you don’t like her, Stephen. I’ll tie you up and ship you off to the Continent before I’ll let you do that.”
“You’re welcome to try.” Truth was Damian was almost as good a fighter as he. He didn’t think the earl could get the better of him, but he wasn’t one hundred percent certain. “And I do like Anne.”
“Well, that’s something,” Damian said. “So at least it won’t be a completely cold marriage of convenience.” Damian pulled a face. “Be sensible. You don’t want a polite, lukewarm arrangement. It would be one thing if you came from chilly stock, but I’ve heard the stories about your parents and your sister Jane—hell, everyone thought John was the Parker-Roth with ice in his veins and look what happened with him. You’re the King of Hearts—you can’t marry without love.”
Stephen felt trapped and angry. “I detest that nickname, Damian, as well you know.”
Lady Kenderly touched his knee. “But you’ve just met Lady Anne. I can see having an immediate physical reaction, but you said you don’t lust after her. You can’t know her well enough to know if you like her or not.”
“Lady Kenderly, I pride myself in being a good judge of character; I’ve had to be. Out in the wild, in the jungle or on the savannah, often among natives who may not speak English, all you’ve got to go on is your gut.”
Damian nodded. “That’s true. And I would agree you’ve got excellent instincts where people are concerned. You had the wisdom to befriend me, after all.”
“I just didn’t care to see you go head first into the privy courtesy of Brentwood.”
“Details, details.”
“Oh, do be serious, Damian,” Lady Kenderly said. She nodded at Stephen. “I understand what you mean, Mr. Parker-Roth. I’ve observed that myself. Some people have an unerring sense of whom to trust; others are always falling into disastrous ‘friendships.’”
“Exactly. Anne is trustworthy and responsible, and she sincerely loves her half sister and half brothers when she could easily be surly and resentful. She guides them with an excellent mix of firmness and sympathy.”
“She sounds like a damn paragon,” Damian said.
“I won’t have you disparaging her, Damian.”
Lady Kenderly held up her hand. “Gentlemen, please. Then let me ask you this, Mr. Parker-Roth.”
“Lady Kenderly, if your hard-headed husband here does not object, I’d be happy to have you call me Stephen.” He smiled wryly. “I would say our conversation has strayed beyond the formal.”
Lady Kenderly smiled. “I would like that. Damian speaks so highly of you.”
“Jo, you can’t tell him that,” Damian said in mock alarm. “It will go straight to his head; there’ll be no tolerating him.”
Lady Kenderly snorted, but otherwise ignored her husband’s comment. “And you must call me Jo, Stephen, though you may wish to call me ‘damn Jo’ as Damian sometimes does when I ask you this last question.”
“Take care, old friend,” Damian said. “You are in trouble now. Jo’s questions can be like rapier thrusts to the heart.”
Jo spared a glance at her husband. “Really, dear, I’m not certain you’re helping matters.” She turned back to Stephen. “You said you’d kissed Lady Anne, Stephen. Would you do it again?”
Stephen flushed. A rapier thrust indeed.
“Of course he would do it again, Jo,” Damian said. “He’s a man—we’ve established that.”
“Yes, and Lady Anne is a lady. One kiss might be a mistake, but two—well, I think that must show some attraction or affection—”
“Or lust!” Damian laughed. “And if there’s some spark, it may grow into a raging fire, eh, love?”
“Exactly.” Jo lifted her brows and considered Stephen. “So, Stephen, would you kiss Lady Anne a second time?”
Talk about raging fires—Stephen was certain his face resembled a conflagration. He cleared his throat. “I already have.”
Jo clapped her hands. “Excellent. Then I have great hopes for you. And I shall be happy to help your Lady Anne find her way—not that I am an expert in the social scene, of course, being so new to it myself, but Damian is a man of great consequence as he periodically likes to remind me.”
“Now, Jo—”
“Oh, hush, Damian. I am teasing you.” She grinned at Stephen. “I suggest you stay betrothed for the Season and see how your feelings grow. If you find you cannot love Lady Anne—or if she cannot love you—then you can end your betrothal quietly when the Season is over.”
Stephen was not sure how it happened that Damian’s wife had taken charge of his marital situation, but he feared somehow she had. “But I will not be ending the betrothal.”
She stood and shook out her skirts. “You know, Stephen, I do think you might not.” She kissed Damian on the cheek. “Now if you will excuse me, I will go see if Cook has been calmed and our food tonight will not be a complete disaster.”
Anne stared at the dress on the bed. She had hoped Madam Celeste would have chosen the green fabric first, but no.
“It’s very . . . red, isn’t it?” Evie said, doubt clear in her voice. “Do you think it will go with your hair?”
Anne sighed. “I suppose we will find out, won’t we? And if it doesn’t, I can always wear my best ball gown from home.”
They both looked at that poor, drab dress, draped over a nearby chair. Anne had got it out of the wardrobe once she’d unwrapped the package from Madam Celeste. It was brown and sadly out of date, but at least she would blend into the background if she wore it.
She certainly wouldn’t blend into the background in the red dress. She’d look like a, a . . . well, she wasn’t certain what she would look like. She ran her hands over the silky fabric.
Her first reaction when she’d seen the dress was to bundle it back up. She might have done so if Evie hadn’t come in.
She shouldn’t waste time trying it on, but it felt so soft. Her fingers lingered over the cloth. And the little swatch of fabric Mr. Parker-Roth had held up against her skin in Madam Celeste’s shop had made her look... different. Almost pretty.
She looked at Evie again and smiled. “At least you will make a spectacular debut, and that is all that matters.” She shook her head in wonderment. “You always look beautiful, but tonight . . .” She sighed happily. “Tonight you are exquisite.”
Evie preened in front of the mirror, unable to contain her excitement. “The dress is lovely, isn’t it?”
The dress
was
lovely—delicate white muslin with small puffed sleeves and a wide blue ribbon around the waist that exactly matched Evie’s eyes. “Yes, but the girl in the dress is even lovelier.”
Evie took one last look at herself and then turned back to Anne. “I’m sure Madam Celeste wouldn’t make a dress for you that wasn’t flattering, Anne, and Mr. Parker-Roth surely must have excellent taste. He helped you choose the color, didn’t he?”
“Yes, but the small bit of fabric we looked at in Madam Celeste’s shop didn’t seem so overwhelmingly red. I’m sure to look like a ripe tomato.”
Evie giggled. “Don’t be silly. You are far too thin to look like a tomato of any sort.” She picked up the dress and shook it out, the bright satin whispering over itself. “It’s not red, really, but coquelicot. There are definitely tones of orange.”
“Hmm.” The dress was simply cut with few embellishments. Clean, uncluttered, and so very bright. It looked almost alive in Evie’s hands.
“Come, Anne, try it on. Mary went to help Tredlick get Cousin Clorinda ready, so I’ll act as your maid.”
Anne had the oddest feeling that if she put that dress on, she’d turn into someone else. Ridiculous, of course. But still . . . it would be very hard to avoid attention in that gown.
Evie shook the dress again. “You don’t have all night, you know. Mr. Parker-Roth will be here shortly.”
On odd thrill shot through her, and her stomach shivered. Mr. Parker-Roth would see her in this dress . . . was that a good thing or not?
More to the point, why did she care?
“Very well.” She let Evie help her into Madam Celeste’s shocking creation. The cloth smelled sweet and new; the satin slid sensually over her skin, caressing her body, hugging its contours in a way Mrs. Waddingly’s dresses never had, and falling to swirl around her feet. Something, some new energy, thrummed through her. She felt more alive than she had in a long, long time—since before Baron Gedding’s house party.
She kept her eyes closed, afraid to see how garish she must appear. She wanted to look beautiful for once. She didn’t want to take off this new gown and put on her boring, old dress that she’d worn to countless assemblies and balls for the last five years. She was suddenly heartily sick of it.
“Oh, my.” Evie’s voice had a very peculiar tone to it, almost one of awe.
Anne forced one eye open to peek at her reflection. “Oh!” She opened the other eye and gaped at the woman in the mirror. Was it truly she? She raised her hand to touch her face, and the woman in the mirror did the same.
Through some miracle, Madam Celeste had crafted the dress so Anne actually appeared to have a figure. The neck was cut rather low over her small bosom and the skirts flared out from a high, but defined waist. The color, rather than making her look like a clown or, far worse, a cheap whore, made her skin glow and her eyes appear greener. “I look almost pretty.”
“Pretty? You look”—Evie paused, apparently searching for the proper word—“ravishing. Mr. Parker-Roth won’t be able to take his eyes off you. I suspect all the men we meet tonight will be unable to look at any other woman present. I am quite put in the shade.”
“Don’t be silly.” Anne managed to tear her eyes away from the vision in the mirror, though she couldn’t resist darting glances at herself. “I am an elderly spinster, very much on the shelf. No one will give me a second glance.”
“You are not on the shelf—or won’t be much longer. You are betrothed to Mr. Parker-Roth.” Evie grinned. “I am counting on him to discourage all the other men from flocking around you.”
“Flocking around me like a gaggle of geese? Now you are being completely absurd.” She wished she could share the story of her betrothal with Evie. It would be a relief to have someone know the truth. Perhaps if she swore her to secrecy—
“Here I am, miladies. Did ye think I’d forgotten ye? I had to—lordie!” Mary stopped just inside the door to Anne’s room, her mouth hanging open. “Lady Anne, is that really ye?”
Anne felt herself flush. “Of course it is, Mary.” She gestured to Evie. “Isn’t Evie beautiful?”
Mary took in Evie’s dress and then returned to consider Anne. “Aye. Lady Evie is always a treat, and that dress is very special, but ye, milady . . .” She shook her head and then grinned slyly. “I’m guessing ye’ll be having a very short betrothal.”
“Mary!” Anne was certain her cheeks were now bright red. Evie was blushing, too, but laughing as well.
“Mark my words,” Mary said. “Once that man sees ye in this dress, he’ll be running for a special license.” She winked. “He’ll want ye out of the dress and in his bed as quick as may be.”
“I’m sure you should not be saying such things.” Anne could barely get any words out, she was so embarrassed—embarrassed and something else. Nervous, yes. And excited. It would be nice to have a man—to have Mr. Parker-Roth—look at her with some admiration in his eyes.
Mary shrugged. “Yer both old enough to be thinking of marriage—and marriage beds.” She pulled out the dressing table chair. “Now come, I need to get ye ready and be quick about it. Hobbes just sent word up that Mr. Parker-Roth has arrived. Miss Clorinda has already gone down.” She pushed Anne into the chair. “We don’t want to keep the poor man waiting, especially waiting with Miss Clorinda. She’s sure to set his teeth on edge in no time.” She pulled a brush through Anne’s unruly hair.
“I can’t wait to see Mr. Parker-Roth’s face when he catches sight of you, Anne,” Evie said. “I think Mary’s right. He’ll be completely entranced.”
Anne smiled weakly. Her odd excitement had just exploded into a flock of butterflies, fluttering in her stomach, her bosom, her throat—everywhere. She watched Mary tame her hair, weaving a few flowers artfully through it.
“There ye go, milady. Ye do look a picture.”
Anne got up so Evie could take her place. Her knees were not quite steady. It would be a wonder if she didn’t tumble down the stairs to land in a heap at Mr. Parker-Roth’s feet. That would make a lovely impression—and send him running away from her as far and as fast as he could go.
Chapter 8
“The girls should be down in a moment,” Clorinda said. “Their maid is just finishing their hair.”
Stephen nodded. He hoped Anne and Evie would be down very soon. He wasn’t certain how much more he could take of Miss Strange. The last five minutes had felt like fifteen. Worse, he could tell she was working up to some topic he was certain to find unpleasant.
He was right.
“The wags call you the King of Hearts,” she said, “and I hear the title is well deserved.” She waggled her graying brows and slapped him on the arm.
He stepped out of reach. “Gossip always distorts its subject far beyond the bounds of truth.”
“Oh, come now, sir. You are a great favorite with the ladies—admit it!”
He was not going to admit anything. “Miss Strange, I fail to see the point of this conversation.” Not that it was actually a conversation, of course. Conversation required at least two willing participants—there was only one here, and it was not he.
Clorinda frowned at him. “The point, sir, is that you are an experienced man of the world, a man who knows his way around the boudoir. Poor Anne is a mouse to your cat. You will gobble her up in one mouthful.”
Damn. He should not be entertaining salacious thoughts while standing in the Earl of Crane’s entry hall with elderly, odd Miss Clorinda Strange, but his rational, proper brain seemed to have lost control of his irrational, lusty nether regions. The thought of gobbling up Anne was wildly appealing.
He was going mad. He’d told Damian and his wife he didn’t lust after Anne, and he’d told the truth. He liked her, yes, but she wasn’t really the sort of woman to stir his animal instincts . . . so why were those instincts stirring? Stirring to the point of an embarrassing display—thank God the flickering candlelight hid as much as it illuminated.
And if Clorinda thought Anne a meek little mouse she did not know her cousin very well. “I am betrothed to Lady Anne, madam. I will not be gobbling”—he coughed, feeling his misguided manhood leaping at the thought of anything dealing with his mouth and Lady Anne’s person—“I am not a threat to your cousin. On the contrary, my duty is to protect her.”
She hit him again, this time with her fan. He stepped back another pace.
“Very nicely said, sir, but you and I both know this betrothal is all a humbug. Astounding that such a skilled flirt as the King of Hearts would be caught stealing a kiss from a dusty old spinster, a woman so firmly on the shelf she’s become part of the woodwork, but I suppose stranger things have happened. It’s very kind of you to try to guard Anne’s reputation.”
“It is not kindness, madam.” His voice rose. How dare the woman call Anne an old spinster? “It is my duty and my pleasure.”
Clorinda snorted. “Pleasure? Come, come, sir. You’ll find your pleasure elsewhere, I don’t doubt.” This time she hit her own hand with her fan, slapping it against her palm, as she appeared to mull the problem over.
Blast it, did she think he was just like so many of the other society men?
Of course she did. She knew him only by his bloody nickname. She didn’t know
him
at all.
“I would be remiss in my duties if I did not point out what should be obvious, Mr. Parker-Roth. While Anne has far more years in her dish than a normal debutante, this is, in a way, her come-out as much as Evie’s. Not that she’s looking for a handsome, titled husband, of course. That would be ridiculous. But the truth is she has never experienced a London Season, and I worry she’ll be so caught up in the excitement and, well, magic of the balls and whatnot that she’ll lose her good sense. In short, I fear she may be susceptible to your charms.” She snorted. “Well, truly, what woman isn’t?”
Zeus, was he blushing? Surely not.
“However, in the normal course of events, she’d be in no danger of having her heart bruised. She could admire you from afar with the rest of the silly geese and none would be the wiser. But because of this bizarre betrothal, her name will be linked with yours, and she’ll likely spend some time in your company—tonight’s invitation to Lord Kenderly’s is a prime example.”
Clorinda shook her head sadly and sighed. “I am very much afraid dear Anne might be in danger of losing her heart to you, sir. When you call off the betrothal after the Season, it will be a severe blow to her, even though she should know better.”
The anger that had been growing in his gut with each of Clorinda’s words turned to cold rage. He’d admit he was confused. He didn’t know or understand how he felt. But he knew this without question—Anne was not the pitiful figure Clorinda described.
Too many words struggled to be said. He swallowed. He was not going to show his heart, whatever it contained, to this woman, but at least he could state the obvious. “Madam, an honorable man does not break a betrothal.”
“Oh, yes, I know that. Of course, I will prevail upon Anne to end it. Or if she won’t listen to me, she’ll listen to her father. You don’t have to worry you’ll be trapped. I’m only asking you to take care not to injure poor Anne too deeply.”
Stephen pressed his lips together. He’d swear he couldn’t remember ever being so angry. He wanted to shake Clorinda so hard her ugly purple turban tumbled off her head. He wanted—
“Heavens!” Clorinda’s eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. She was staring up the stairs.
He followed her gaze. There on the landing stood Lady Evie. Celeste had done an excellent job with her gown. It was appropriately virginal, not too plain, but not too fussy, and it highlighted Evie’s ethereal beauty perfectly. He’d wager many a male head would turn when Evie walked into Damian’s ballroom.
He noted all that without thought, taking in the details in one glance. Then his eyes moved on to the cause of Clorinda’s shock.
Heavens indeed—or would that be Heaven? Anne was . . . hell, she was out and out spectacular. The red gown hugged instead of hid her curves—her lovely hips, her narrow waist, her small but tempting breasts. Her hair had been dressed so it appeared to be on the verge of tumbling over her creamy neck and shoulders. She looked like a flame come to life.
He’d been mistaken—he did feel lust for Anne. Pure, hot lust hit him in the gut—well, perhaps not exactly the gut.
He finally turned his attention to Anne’s face. Hmm. Her sweet full lips were drawn into a tight, narrow line; her cheeks glowed with something more than the effects of the gown’s splendid color; and her lovely eyes were full of green fire.
They met his, almost shooting sparks the length of the staircase. His wonderful Anne was furious. He was in for a fight.
He repressed a smile. How fortunate that he loved this kind of battle.
Anne was so angry she could spit. No, she wanted to fly down these stairs and kick the bloody King of Hearts in exactly the place it would hurt him most.
So an honorable man didn’t break a betrothal he didn’t want? So Clorinda or her father would prevail upon her to end it?
So silly, naïve Anne, poor old spinster, might lose her heart to London’s darling?
“I’m sure Mr. Parker-Roth doesn’t want to get out of the betrothal,” Evie whispered. “Cousin Clorinda has no idea what she’s talking about.”
Anne didn’t yet trust herself to speak.
“I think the man looks quite smitten,” Evie said. “You must not regard Clorinda’s remarks.”
“Oh, I don’t.” Anne had finally found her voice. It was tighter than she would have liked, but at least she wasn’t crying. “You go first, Evie. We shouldn’t keep everyone waiting.”
“Yes. All right.” Evie gave her a searching look before she began to descend the stairs.
Poor silly spinster Anne took a sustaining breath, straightened her spine, and lifted her chin. She would not be an object of pity, especially in the damn King of Hearts’s eyes.
She felt rather exposed in this blasted gown, but she would brazen it out. She would force herself not to cringe when people looked at her. She’d managed it ten years ago.
When she’d got home from Baron Gedding’s house party, she’d been certain everyone could immediately discern her fallen state. She’d hidden herself away, laughingly easy to do with Georgiana’s painfully pregnant condition and then with the birth of the twins. No one questioned that she was needed at home; no one expected her to attend assemblies or other social gatherings. She had Evie and the boys to care for.
By the time the household was back on an even keel, she’d managed to construct a public mask she could hide behind. She hadn’t forgotten how to don it. She settled her features into a pleasant, neutral expression and followed Evie down the stairs.
Unfortunately, her old mask hadn’t had to contend with the King of Hearts. The annoying man kept his eyes glued to her, his lips curved into a small, almost feral smile. She felt his look in a most embarrassing section of her body.
She also felt her damn skirts caressing her legs with each step. She held them up slightly, but she couldn’t hold them completely away from her body. She had a shift on, for God’s sake, but Lady Celeste had made it so it might as well be nonexistent for all the help it was providing her at the moment.
By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, her emotions were a roiling mass of anger, shame, and . . . something she couldn’t identify. Mr. Parker-Roth was still watching her in a very hot, intent way. He clearly wanted her. Not for marriage—he hadn’t denied he’d be happy for Clorinda or Papa to make her cry off—but for something.
And what did she want him for?
Her nipples tightened at the thought. Dear God, they weren’t making little tents in her dress, were they? She’d thought this new corset was cut scandalously low. She kept herself from looking down to check only through the strictest willpower while she ordered her wayward thoughts to behave as a proper spinster’s should.
They refused. Perhaps it had something to do with this sinful gown—and Mr. Parker-Roth’s very sinful eyes, so full of temptation—but part of her anger seemed to have been transmuted into some other very odd, very strong, very
hot
emotion. Something she’d never felt before.
Was this lust?
“Don’t you think that dress is a bit, a bit . . .” Clorinda frowned. “It is definitely not in your usual style.”
Anne flushed, but whether it was from Clorinda’s comment or Mr. Parker-Roth’s eyes or her own growing heat, she couldn’t say. “Thank you, Clorinda. Since my usual style is brown and shapeless, I will take that as a compliment.”
“Anne’s dress is beautiful, Cousin Clorinda.” Evie sounded most indignant on her behalf. “And it looks beautiful on her.”
“It certainly will attract a lot of attention. Are you sure you want that, Anne?” Clorinda’s tone left no doubt that Anne should definitely not want it.
Anne shrugged—and felt the satin slip over her nipples. “I can’t control what the silly
ton
chooses to look at. I like the dress.” The only attention she wanted was Mr. Parker-Roth’s, and she was getting a lot of it at the moment. He’d taken her hand and was raising it to his lips.
Damn the fashion for wearing gloves. His mouth touched the soft kid on the back of her hand—no kissing the air above for him—but kidskin was not as expert at transferring sensation as bare skin. Still, the pressure of his lips on her hand quite took her breath—and any coherent thought that had managed to form in the puddle that was her brain—away.
She studied his bowed head. What
did
she want him for? He was hers, in a manner of speaking, until the end of the Season.
Her blush must now be as bright as her dress.
“Anne’s gown is exquisite,” Mr. Parker-Roth said, “though nowhere near as lovely as the lady who wears it.”
Hobbes presented their coats, and Mr. Parker-Roth left her to assist Clorinda, who looked a bit like she’d bitten into a lemon, and Evie.
When he returned to help her, he somehow made the simple task of putting on her cape tantalizing. He stood a little closer to her than quite proper and extended his hands farther, bringing the cloth all the way to her throat instead of merely settling it over her. Then his fingers smoothed the fabric over her shoulders, causing her heart—and another part of her anatomy—to throb.
Her head told her to ignore these hot feelings; her body told her to enjoy them—and look for more.
He put her hand on his arm and covered her fingers with his. His touch felt both protective and possessive.
“Shall we go?” he said, turning to look at Clorinda and Evie. Anne had to swallow a giggle. The other ladies were gaping at him. Evie appeared delighted; Clorinda, incredulous.
“Mr. Parker-Roth,” Clorinda said, “I thought we understood each other.”
Mr. Parker-Roth inclined his head. “I believe I understand you, Miss Strange, but I sincerely doubt you understand me.”
“Well!” Clorinda looked at Anne. “I warn you, miss. Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing.”
“Of course, Clorinda,” Anne said, though the way she was feeling at the moment, perhaps Mr. Parker-Roth was the one who should take care.
The man laughed. “No one has ever accused me of resembling a sheep, Miss Strange.”
Clorinda drew in a sharp breath, her nostrils quivering with offended sensibility. “You are impertinent, sir.” She straightened her turban and sniffed. “Come, we should be going. We don’t want to keep Lord and Lady Kenderly waiting.” She turned on her heel and sailed out the door Hobbes was holding open.
Evie gave Anne a significant look—not that Anne could decipher its significance—and followed Clorinda, leaving her alone in the entryway with Hobbes and Mr. Parker-Roth.
She came back to earth with a proverbial thud. What was she thinking? She was furious with Clorinda, but she had to admit her cousin had a point. Much as she might try to play at being a seductress, she was at heart a country mouse—currently with her fingers on a wolf’s arm. If she didn’t take care, she’d be an appetizer for his next meal.
She jerked her hand back. No luck. His grasp was gentle, but unbreakable.
“Will you let me go?” she hissed, trying to free herself again while throwing a furtive glance at Hobbes. The butler was doing an excellent impression of a deaf and dumb doorpost.