Authors: Gillian Andrews
Chapter 12
A WEEK HAD passed since that fateful journey back from Dessia. Grace picked Temar up from his cot and gave a sigh. She didn’t like the sound of the news she had just received from the canth keeper. She handed the baby over to Tallen, who had agreed to take care of him for the day, went outside to find her canth, and pulled herself up into the saddle. She wondered if Tallen would know how to look after such a young child, even though she had left everything ready. Then she gave a shrug. She had no choice; she had to go.
It didn’t take many hours to travel across the Great Plain to the canth farm near Eletheia, and it was pleasant to be in motion. She found that her brain was silent during the trip; a welcome change from the last week. She hadn’t been able to sleep, hadn’t been able to think, hadn’t been able to function. She had thought trying to recover from the episode on the orbital station had been tough, but she had been wrong. Nothing could have prepared her for this.
Losing Diva had been like losing herself. She missed the sarcastic comments, the huge vivacity, the proud stance, the refusal to bend to anybody’s will. Grace’s whole soul missed her friend, and it was hard to go on without her. She rode across the Great Plain, which seemed dulled. The sun had no heat and the warmth of Xiantha was quite insufficient to evaporate the perpetual chill around her heart.
The miles slipped by; the closer she got to the farm, the more Diva was in her mind. The Coriolan girl might have been there with her, making one of her quick remarks, or laughing about something. More often, she would have been frowning terribly with those eyebrows of hers, or teasing Six, or …
Grace’s thoughts trailed off, a huge lump in her throat having made even breathing hard. She forced down a rasp of air and blinked quickly several times, trying to make the tears go away. They did, but they left a harsh, raw pain which made her screw up her eyes and look away from the sun.
It was so hard.
It was so hard to be without Diva.
It was so hard just to go on living, even with a new baby.
Then something spooked her canth. It tossed its long neck and its head came back towards her, nearly hitting her on the nose. It pirouetted for a moment. She came out of her reverie with a bump, nearly falling off.
It took her a minute or two to calm her canth down, and she was grateful to it. This was a time to think about the living, not the dead.
They continued together on the dusty track across the wide open expanse of the Great Plain. Eletheia could just be seen now, on the horizon, but Grace skirted it, heading to the north, to the canth farm.
WHEN SHE ARRIVED, the man who spoke to canths hurried out of his small house to greet her warmly.
“Girl who found the past,” he said, “thank you for coming.”
She slipped down from the saddle and smiled. “How is Bennel?”
“He is progressing. I think we will be able to send him to you at the Emerald Lake soon. Vion says that the damage to some of the muscles is healing, although he may walk with a slight limp. He has been very lucky; a few seconds more traction of that severity and the damage would have been permanent.”
“I am glad to hear it. I will come to see him, after … afterwards.”
The canth keeper bowed. “I understand. You will find
Valhai
Six in the eighth corral.”
Grace walked past gate after gate of the corrals, which formed an inner circle onto the main area in front of the small house. In each, some of the canths were standing by the gate, watching.
She opened the gate of the eighth corral and walked away from the house, down the large paddock until she was out of sight of the rest of the farm.
There were many trees dotted around the dry paddock, and canths were resting from the hot Xianthan sun under some of the larger Eletheian trees. Grace narrowed her eyes as she walked, trying to spot one particular canth.
She found it right at the far end of the paddock, standing close to the railings. Diva’s seal brown canth was on its feet, head up, staring into the distance, seemingly examining the huge, jutting peak of the dark Xianthe.
Grace herself looked in the same direction. She shuddered slightly; she still hadn’t forgotten her fall. Then she gazed around. She found was she was looking for under a nearby temaris tree.
“Why have you come?” The voice which greeted her was cold and unfriendly. It grated.
Grace walked over to the tree and sat down in its shade. “Six,” she said calmly. “How are you?”
The shape under the tree shifted. “I don’t need you.”
“I think you do.”
“Leave me alone. All of you. You don’t understand.”
“Six, you have to eat, have to drink.”
He gave a harsh laugh. “Oh, do I? ‘Have to’? Who says?”
“You cannot stay here.”
He gave another jerk of his head, mocking her. “Stop trying to be mother, Grace. Just let me be. I have things to do. I don’t want anybody hanging around. Go back to your nice husband and your nice baby. They are alive; they need you.”
Grace gasped, and then her face darkened, and she got angrily to her feet. “How dare you!”
Six looked surprised. “What?”
“Try to make me feel guilty because Ledin is still alive. That was a pretty nasty thing to say!”
There was a silence. Then, “I suppose it was.” He looked away.
Grace’s heart contracted, feeling for him. “You have been here for days. You have to come away.”
“I must stay here.” He turned on her, his face bare, stripped of all social niceness, the bones forming hard lines across his factions, his pain clear for anyone to see.
“You can’t stay here.”
“I told you to go away!” He gave her a push, and she stumbled, falling onto her back on the dry dirt.
“Six!”
“What? Go and look after your family, Grace. They need you. I don’t.”
Grace stared at the dishevelled figure in front of her. Six was filthy. He certainly hadn’t washed for days, and he looked substantially thinner. She doubted if he had eaten anything. His eyes were rimmed with red, and the shadows beneath them were translucent, the skin bruised and blue. He looked at the end of all resistance; he seemed utterly lost.
She walked up to him and enfolded him in her arms. He resisted for quite some moments, and then relaxed suddenly, allowing her to hug him close to her. There was a long pause, and then he rested his head on her shoulder and started crying, like a small child.
“She hasn’t come, Grace.”
“I know. Shh!” She rubbed his back.
“Her canth is still alive, still well. Why is her canth still well?”
“I don’t know.” She hugged him even closer. His anger dried up his tears, and he pulled back to stare at her.
“She isn’t gone, you know. She will be a trimorph. I haven’t lost her altogether. I am waiting for her. I am waiting for her canth to die.”
Grace nodded. “I know. But her canth is still well.”
His face crumpled up. “How can that be? I don’t understand. It should have died with her. You know it should. Why won’t she come?”
Grace stepped forwards again and put her arms around the skinny figure. “Shh! There, there!”
But the moment had gone. Six almost pushed her away, his face stricken. “She hasn’t come. I have to wait for her here. I won’t leave. I want to see her.”
“But Raven needs you. —And we have to go to the funeral, on Coriolis. Six, you can’t stay here. You know you can’t! You have to come with me.”
“I have lost her, Grace. I have lost my way.”
“I know. I know you have. But you can’t stay here. I won’t let you.” Grace thought for a moment. “It is what Diva would want.”
For a split second, he looked eager. “You think?” But then his face dropped. “I have to be here. She has to be a trimorph. I can’t lose her altogether. Surely you can see that?”
Grace sighed. “I don’t know if she will be a trimorph. Even Arcan doesn’t know.”
“Arcan!” His voice was full of loathing. “This is his fault.”
Grace took a deep breath. “Arcan saved the rest of us.”
Six looked down. “He didn’t save
her
.” His voice thickened so much that it broke on the last word.
“Six, he
couldn’t
save her. There was some sort of a shock wave, something which rebounded off the tunnel and split him in two. Diva was in the part which stayed. It wasn’t his fault.”
“I saw her, you know.”
“In the bubble? Did you?”
“We must have both been caught up at the edge of separation. It all seemed to pause, to hover for long moments in limbo. There were fires, selwaves, shining lights. It all stopped, and then she was carried backwards, and I was carried forwards. I couldn’t do anything! I was trapped in the bubble! I couldn’t get out. I didn’t help her.” His figure doubled over, bending as if from a great weight. “Why did it have to be her, Grace? Why wasn’t it me?”
Grace looked down at Six, who had become a shadow of the person she knew in just a week. There was no answer to that. She stretched a hand down to touch him on the shoulder. It was all she could think of to do.
Six shrugged her hand away. “I’ve fought all my life, Grace, and never given up, but the thought of facing the future without Diva …” his voice broke, “… just leaves me drained. I don’t have anything left inside.”
Grace stared at the seal brown canth, which had now begun to forage idly amongst the sparse grass in the large corral. It certainly looked healthy. She frowned. Six was right; that was odd. Then she gave another sigh. But it didn’t change anything.
“Get up, Six.”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can. You have to. You can’t let them have a funeral for her on Coriolis without your being there. Or are you going to let Raven go on her own?”
Something stirred behind the dimmed eyes, Grace noticed. “— Because its odds on to a vaniven that Tartalus will be there.”
“Tartalus!” Six frowned; again Grace thought she saw a spark of something kindle inside him.
She pressed home her advantage. “—And I am not sure Ledin and I will know exactly how to protect Raven. After all, you are the one who can command guards and private palaces on Coriolis, not us.”
There was a lengthy silence. Then Six straightened up.
“But how will I know … if her canth … if it begins …”
“The man who speaks to canths will be here. Arcan is almost fully recovered now, and he could bring you over in a flash.” Her voice dropped a tone, trying to convince him. “You cannot let Raven go alone to Coriolis. Diva wouldn’t like it.”
He considered and then gave a heavy sigh. “Oh, all right. I suppose I ought to come.”
Grace gave him a quick hug. “Good. Then we need to put you in a bath of some sort. You simply can’t arrive on Coriolis looking and smelling like that.”
“Whatever.” He hunched his shoulders.
“You don’t have to think about anything. I will take care of it all. Now, first we have to get ourselves back to the canth keeper’s house, and then …”
She continued chattering on, while gently taking him by the elbow and leading him out of the corral. She felt pleased, yet the sadness in her heart was just as heavy as it had been before.
THEY ARRIVED ON Coriolis to what looked at first sight to be celebrations. There was bunting adorning the buildings, and all the children in the streets were carrying Coriolan flags on little sticks, which they waved incessantly. As they walked into the palace in Mesteta, the guards were galvanized into action.
“Ring the bells, bonehead, the lady Divina’s consort is here …”
“Quick, fool, call up the guard of honour …”
“Fall in on each side, come on, we haven’t got all day …”
Raven looked around at all the colours with eyes like saucers, but clutched at Tallen’s hair for reassurance. She was perched on his shoulders, riding high above the rest of them; the only one of them who was enjoying all the noise and fuss. She hadn’t understood that her mother was dead, only frowning fiercely when she registered that she wouldn’t see Diva soon.
Traveling on top of Tallen’s shoulders, though, she was in her element. The people of Coriolis shouted to see her, and she reacted naturally, waving at them and smiling in return.
Her father was not so pleased. His mouth had been clamped firmly shut since their arrival, and he had neither waved nor smiled at anybody. Raven could sense that the others were unusually sombre, too. Bennel, her very favourite, was dragging one foot and seemed to be in some pain, for his jaw was set, and he was making an effort not to wince, despite the limp. Grace and Ledin were walking slowly at the front of the small procession, but neither of them had smiled since they had arrived. A small frown crossed Raven’s face. Where was her mother?
“I want my mother,” she said, tugging imperiously at Tallen’s hair.
“Why you little …” He reached up and detached her hand from his locks. “That hurt, little one!”
She gave a chortle. “Hurt! T’an hurt!” She waved her arms in the air in glee. Then her face fell. “Mother. Raven wants mother.”
Tallen stopped for a moment and deposited her on the ground. He crouched down to her level.
“Your mother can’t come, Raven. She can’t be with us anymore.”
Raven stamped her leg. “Want her!”
“I know. We all do. But she can’t come.”
Raven kicked out at Tallen. “Bad person!”
“Ouch!” Tallen glared back, rubbing his shin. “I hope they teach you some manners at some stage, you little Tattula cat!”
Bennel had turned back. “What is the problem?”
Raven’s face illuminated. “Be’ll Raven up?” She stretched out her hands. “Up, please?”
The Coriolan companion allowed her to scramble up, until she was perched above one hip. Then he started to walk. Tallen moved quickly towards him, worried that he wouldn’t be able to take the extra weight with his stretched muscles, but was waved away for his trouble.