She got up and folded back the table so she could make up her bed on the side bench with the little flock mattress and the blanket she slept under. She lay down and concentrated on the rosy light of the lamp reflected in the brass fittings. It was such a snug place and it felt like home now. Maryann found herself smiling, snuggling down cosily and growing more sleepy. Every so often she heard the sound of the water lapping gently against the wharf. She was coming to love the sounds of the cut at night. If only she could stay here! There were a few lonely moments, but nothing like the isolation she felt at home where there was no one she could turn to. There was no threat here, not with these big, quiet men. She felt safe with Joel, safe and reassured, as if he was a strong, fairytale brother who’d come to rescue her.
The thought of home filled her with dread. She would have to go back – for Tony if no one else. But why did she have to stay at home? Why could she not just live on the cut with the Bartholomews? Joel had said it was hard enough working the
Esther Jane
three-handed, let alone two, and Darius wasn’t a young man any more. But what would Joel say if she asked him? And Darius? Had she proved her worth enough during these last few days?
By the time the men came in she was dozing. She woke again as the cabin door squeaked open, letting in the night air. Darius, walking unsteadily, immediately went and let down the bed at the back, gave out a loud, beery belch, then readied himself for the night. Joel, however, seemed restless. Seeing Maryann looking sleepily up at him he came and sat on the end of the bench. She slid her legs out of the way for him. For a time he just sat there holding his cap while she watched him. His wiry beard and wavy hair were a lovely bronze colour in the pink, subdued light. She looked at his gentle face and huge, worn hands and felt she couldn’t imagine a time when she had not known him. Why was he just sitting there instead of going to bed, she wondered. But she liked it, didn’t want him to move, wanting instead to ask him if she could stay with them, but Darius was there and she didn’t have the courage.
He looked across at his father now and then, and when Darius was obviously asleep he turned to her and said, half whispering, ‘Well – it’s been a soft day for us today. I don’t know about you, but I ent ready to settle yet. I fancy a walk. How about you, young nipper?’
‘Ooh, yes!’ She sat up, immediately cheerful. Anything Joel suggested seemed good. An adventure!
She put her shoes back on and her cardigan and they climbed back out into the starry night. The moon was almost full and the wharf buildings were sharp edged, the colour of pewter under its light.
They set out along Juxon Street. Maryann found it strange to be back on a road, with buildings hemming you in on either side, after the cut. She tried to imagine how it would feel never to have lived on the bank.
‘D’yer think you’ll ever live in a house?’ she asked, looking up at Joel.
‘Oh – you can never tell, can you? There are folks moving off the cut all the time. It ent easy, with the moty boats and lorries taking over the cargoes. We’ll hang on as long as we can though. It’s what we know.’
‘But you wouldn’t give up the
Esther Jane
, would yer?’
Joel shrugged. ‘I hope not. But we had to sell the butty – we had a pair before, but we had to part with one of ’em. That’s how it goes these days.’
Maryann felt sobered by this. The thought of the Bartholomews living like other people was inconceivable. They turned into another street, then another, in silence, except for the sound of their feet on the road. Silence was easy with Joel. It never felt uncomfortable.
‘But—’ she said eventually. ‘You were born on the cut, weren’t you?’
‘I was s’posed to be born ’ere at h’Oxford. My mother was coming to town to ’ave me and I was in too much of a hurry – arrived just south of Banbury!’
‘On the
Esther Jane
?’
‘She weren’t called the
Esther Jane
then.’
‘No, I know. Joel – will you tell me about your brothers and sisters?’
They turned on to a wider road where there were a few more people about, coming out of the pubs.
‘You’re a proper chatterchops, ent you?’
‘I ain’t!’
She liked Joel calling her a chatterchops, but in fact it was hardly justified. There’d been very little time to talk much on the way down. They were always busy, or the men were in the pub or too tired.
‘When’ll you see Ada again?’
‘Well, if we don’t run into ’er on the cut, it’ll be Christmas. We all try and ’ave a rally at Christmas time, tie up at Braunston or Hawkesbury for a couple of days. See young Darius and Ada.’
‘Won’t she miss you?’
‘She will. But a lot of young ’uns work away from their families. It’s the only way to do it – someone always needs a pair o’ hands.’
‘What about the others?’
‘Darius is the oldest. There was Daniel who fell sick and passed on as a little ’un. I never knew ’im. Then there was Esther – she drownded when she was not more than fifteen. Then Ezra – ’e died in the war, and so did Sam, then there was me, then Sarah and we lost ’er to the h’influenza and our mother lost a pair of babies in between – she was very poorly after them – and then there was Ada and through her we lost our mother.’
‘Oh Joel, your poor mom!’
‘Yep—’ he said gruffly. ‘She were a good’un, our mother.’
‘Did Darius go away to the war?’
‘No. Someone ’ad to stay. We younger ones went and I was the one come back. Anyhow – that’s how it went. How many’s in your family?’
She told Joel all about Tony and Billy, and Sal running off and her dad dying and Mom marrying Mr Griffin, but she didn’t want to say much about him. She could feel Joel listening beside her.
‘Is your stepfather good to you?’
‘No,’ she said abruptly. ‘Well – I mean, we eat enough and that. But . . . I don’t want to talk about ’im, Joel. Don’t let’s spoil it – it’s lovely out ’ere.’
As she began to take an interest in the town unfolding round her, she saw that it was indeed beautiful. There were a few lamps, but mainly the buildings were lit by the moon. Maryann looked up at the spires and towers, the grand, dark fronts of the colleges all around them.
‘This is h’Oxford University,’ Joel told her. ‘They do a lot of book learning ’ere, that’s what.’
To Maryann it seemed like fairy land, like nowhere else she’d ever been before.
‘I’ll show you summat lovely,’ Joel said. ‘Come along ’ere.’
He led her down a side street, then another, and into a square. All along the sides were castellated buildings, no factories or houses at all. There was a huge, rounded building in the middle. It was covered in little stone arches and columns and stone balustrades, and its roof was domed. Its windows reflected back the moonlight.
‘Oh!’ She looked round in wonder. ‘What is it?’
‘They say it’s full of books,’ Joel said, with a slight air of disbelief. ‘Let’s go down by the river, shall we?’
Maryann could tell that, while awed, he was not comfortable between all these walls. He led her out the other side of the square and across another road hemmed in by buildings that seemed like palaces to Maryann.
‘D’you wish you could read?’ she asked him. ‘If you wanted to learn I could ’elp yer.’
She heard Joel’s wheezy laugh come to her through the darkness. ‘Reckon I’ve got this far without. There ent much call for it on the cut.’
She walked with him, down to where the river flowed past the backs of the colleges. For a moment they stood looking back. It was a beautiful sight, the old stone lit by soft moonlight.
‘S’funny how many different ways there are for folk to live, ent it?’ Joel said. She felt him reach down and take her hand in his, and she nuzzled against his arm, happy. ‘Bet you’ve never seen nothing like this before.’
Maryann shook her head. ‘Joel?’ Her heart began thumping fast.
‘What’s that?’
‘I don’t want to go home. I want to stay with you and your dad and work the cut.’
There was silence as Joel stared down into the water, that flowed past quite briskly, not like the still, sluggish canal water.
‘I don’t know about that. You’ve been a good’un, learning how to work the boat, no doubt about it. And I can’t says I won’t miss you, specially with Ada gone. But you can’t just stay on without your family giving their by-your-leave. That ent right.’
‘Oh
please
, Joel. I can’t go home. It’s not . . . I can’t say why. But it’s horrible at home and they won’t care if I’m there or not . . .’
‘Now, now—’ He turned to face her. ‘That can’t be true now, can it? You got family – people who need you.’
‘But Ada just went off to live with someone else, daint she? Why shouldn’t I do it too?’ She knew she sounded desperate, almost tearful.
‘That’s what life is on the cut. We boat people do that. But it ent the same where you come from, is it? I ent saying we don’t need you – a pair of hands is like gold to us. But you should go back and make things right with your family first. I can’t feel right about you just running off and them not knowing where you are, Maryann. You can see that, can’t you?’
‘I know.’ Her voice sounded high and young. ‘But I just want to stay with you, Joel.’
‘Oh – now—’ He pulled her towards his big, burly body and she felt herself pressed against his scratchy weskit, her little budding breasts tender against him, his strong arms tight round her. She put her arms as far round him as she could reach, laughing. She hadn’t felt so warmed or happy since she was a little girl, held in her dad’s arms after he came home and she nestled against him, loving the feel and smell of him. Joel could save her, he could take her away from that life at home that she so dreaded, she knew he could. He could do anything.
‘Don’t you get all upset,’ Joel was saying, tenderly stroking her hair. His hand felt enormous on her head. ‘We’ll see what can be done.’
She looked up into his face and saw his eyes twinkling down at her affectionately in the moonlight.
Nineteen
During the small hours of the next morning, the weather broke. Maryann woke in the night to hear thunder and, soon after, the sound of rain drumming on the cabin roof. The next morning it was still raining. She went out with her coat on and the water was soon running off her hair and down her cheeks.
They moved the
Esther Jane
down to Isis Lock – Joel and Darius called it ‘Louse Lock’. To load up, Joel explained, they had to move from the narrow Oxford Canal on to the wider Thames, the adjacent ‘Mill Stream’, to where the imported timber was brought from London on lighters, towed by tugs, which were too wide for the Oxford Cut.
‘When they come up ’ere’ – Joel pointed after they had come through Isis Lock – ‘they got to get past the railway, see? There’s a bridge there, cranks up by ’and, lets ’em through.’
‘But what if there’s a train coming?’ she said.
Joel laughed at her foolishness. ‘You don’t do it when there’s a train coming!’
Maryann did not see any of the lighters coming through, but on the wharf waiting for them was a stack of timber sawed into all sorts of different lengths and thicknesses.
‘It’s one of the awkwardest bloomin’ loads we ever carry,’ Joel said, taking off his wet jacket. ‘We’ve to load each bit by hand, or it won’t fit in. You can help.’
Maryann soon found out what he meant. Darius, with his lifetime’s experience of settling a load into a boat just the right way, stood in the hull as Joel, another worker and Maryann passed him down each plank, piece by piece. Darius said which bit he wanted next and laid them all in, fitting them like a patchwork quilt. The wood was very rough and splintery, not planed smooth. Some of the pieces were so heavy that Maryann couldn’t lift them, but she worked hard taking over whatever she could. She wore a thick, hessian apron over her dress. Sometimes she squatted, resting a plank across her knees for Darius to take it from her. The rough wood burned her hands, splinters jabbing into her like needles, and she was soaking wet. The men never seemed to stop and rest: the boat and load always came first. By mid-morning, when the load was almost on board and the rain was still falling, she was close to tears she was so wet and tired, and her hands were bleeding and swollen. But she was determined not to show Darius how close she was to getting up and running off. She gritted her teeth and passed him another plank, wishing he’d at least notice how difficult she was finding it. But after they had secured the last pieces and the
Esther Jane
was now riding low in the water, Darius patted her shoulder briefly as he passed her.
‘That were a good job,’ he said.
Maryann beamed back at him, elated yet with a lump in her throat. She had truly done something right and won his approval! She skipped along to help Joel harness Bessie, who was quite frisky after her extra half-day’s rest. Once she was harnessed up, tolls paid, coal and water aboard, they were off.
Maryann was thrilled to be on the move again. The cut stretched out ahead of them as they slid slowly out of Oxford, the spires and towers receded into the distance and they were in the country again.
‘This is the proper life,’ she said.
Joel grinned at her. ‘If you say so, missy.’
They only travelled as far as Thrupp that day and the sun never broke through. The second morning, they woke to rain and the wind was getting up. Their clothes from the day before were still not dry even though they’d hung them in the warm cabin while they were in bed, but it was obvious that if they put their spare set on they would soon be soaked through as well. Once Joel and Darius had gone out she pulled her damp dress over her head with a shudder. It was slightly warm from being close to the stove, but it soon cooled on her and she was shivering before she had even gone outside. For the first time she started to have misgivings about this life. If this was what it could be like in the middle of summer, what must it be like living here in the freezing winter wind and rain?
They warmed themselves with a cup of tea as they went along. But the day started out as a hard, maddening one. The wind was the real enemy on the cut, pushing even a well-loaded boat about like a plywood toy from side to side. Joel stood at the tiller working it with all his strength to keep it from being blown into the bank, and the shallows where often there were reeds, and other plants with big leaves that looked like rhubarb. Maryann annoyed him by asking, before she realized, ‘Will you teach me to steer today, Joel?’ and he snapped back, ‘Not today – can’t yer see what it’s like?’