The Never War (24 page)

The next day Spader and I took a trip. We went to the one and only place where he would get the answers he needed. We went to Third Earth.

The trip to the Bronx and the flight through the flume were nothing special to write about. It was amazing to think that something as wild as fluming to a different time and territory didn't seem special anymore. But the truth was, I was getting used to it. We arrived at the gate on Third Earth and changed into the clothes of the territory without saying a word to each other. Hidden in the pile of clothing was the same communicator Gunny had used to contact Patrick, the
Traveler. I hit the button, knowing Patrick would soon be there to pick us up.

I have to admit, I was nervous about what we would find on Third Earth. Had history played out the way it was supposed to? By allowing the
Hindenburg
to be destroyed, had we kept the territories on track? Or did we change something else that might have allowed Max Rose's gang to continue their spy operations?

The moment we stepped out of the gate, I had my answer. The subway was exactly as I remembered it. So was the massive underground mall. When we took the escalator up to the surface I saw the rolling, green hills of the Bronx. What a huge relief.

I'm sure you can imagine the wonder Spader felt as we walked through the territory. He looked every bit as stunned and impressed as I was when Gunny and I first came here. He started to ask me questions, but all I said was, “Ask Patrick.” I didn't feel like being a tour guide. Not today.

It didn't take long for Patrick to arrive at the green kiosk that led from the subway. He pulled his small car up to us and gave me an expectant look.

“It's done,” I said.

Patrick exhaled with relief.

“Let's celebrate!” he shouted.

Spader and I both got into the car without saying a word. Neither of us were in the mood to celebrate.

“Take us to the library,” I said flatly.

Patrick knew something was wrong. He didn't press though. We drove the same route into Manhattan as last time. I asked Patrick to explain to Spader how the Earth territories had come this far. Patrick gave him pretty much the same story he had given me. This was good. I wanted Spader to
know just how special a place Third Earth was.

At the library Patrick gave Spader a quick lesson on their computer system and its amazing capacity for information storage. He gave another quick demo, this time bringing up a holographic image of the Beatles singing a song called “She Loves You.” Not exactly my kind of music, but it was pretty cool to see four famous guys standing there singing.

As you might imagine, Spader was blown away. It was then time to see what we came for.

I asked Patrick to explain the
Hindenburg
Variation. Patrick first showed Spader history the way it actually happened, with the
Hindenburg
being destroyed. The only thing that had changed from the last time I saw this was that there was no information about Max Rose being killed in a car accident on Toms River Road. This time it showed that Max Rose had mysteriously disappeared on May 6, never to be seen again. Of course, we knew what had really happened. Max Rose died in the wreckage of the
Hindenburg.
History would never know that.

Patrick then took Spader through the alternate scenario, step by step, showing him what would have happened if the
Hindenburg
had arrived safely. He showed Spader Rose's spy network, and the atomic bomb the German scientist Dani Schmidt would create to help the Nazis win the war. He also showed Spader frightening scenes of Third Earth the way it would have existed if the
Hindenburg
had arrived safely.

This is a strange thing to admit, but seeing these horrifying images actually made me feel better, because I knew this was a future that would never be. I would never feel good about the fact that the
Hindenburg
crashed, but any doubts about Gunny having done the right thing were now gone. All we did was keep history on track.

This was the way it was meant to be.

Spader didn't say much during the demonstration. It was a lot to understand. The two of us walked out of the library and sat down on the steps where Gunny and I had sat earlier. It was only yesterday. A lifetime ago.

“I'm sorry, mate,” Spader said. “I don't know how else to say it. But look at it through my eyes. I hadn't seen all that stuff back there. I didn't know the same things you did. Hobey, if I had seen what was going to happen if we saved the
Hindenburg,
I never would have done the things I did.”

“If we had stayed together,” I said. “You
would
have seen all that.”

Spader fell silent. I think he was beginning to realize just how badly he had screwed up.

“You're my mate, Pendragon,” he answered. “Mates forgive each other.”

I didn't say anything at first. In some ways, dealing with Saint Dane was easier than this. With Saint Dane there was good and there was bad. Not a lot of room in between. But this was different. Spader was my mate. He was a Traveler. We were on the same side. That's what made saying what I had to say so tough.

“I want you to go home, Spader,” I said.

“What?” he shouted in surprise.

“Go back to Cloral, to Grallion,” I continued. “Get back to being an aquaneer.”

“But I'm a Traveler now,” he protested. “My place is with you.”

“Your place is to help the Travelers protect the territories,” I corrected. “Until we can trust each other, you can't do that.”

“But I
do
trust you, Pendragon,” he said sincerely.

I took a breath and said, “But I can't trust
you.
”

Spader looked shocked. No big surprise, these were strong words.

“This isn't about you,” I continued. “This isn't about getting revenge on Saint Dane. It's about saving the territories and protecting Halla. I don't think you get that. Until you do, you're better off at home.”

There it was. I had laid it flat out. Spader was a good guy. A great guy. But he didn't get it. I didn't pretend to have all the answers, but there were some things I knew for sure. One of them was that the Travelers had to support each other. It was the only chance we had against Saint Dane's evil. Spader had shown that he didn't have that faith. More than once. Together we could stand up to Saint Dane. Scattered, we were lost. Gunny's selfless act at the critical moment was proof of that. I felt so strongly about it that I was willing to turn my back on a guy who had become my best friend. At least my best Traveler friend, anyway.

Spader looked down. I knew he hated hearing this. But I needed him to understand. He was a Traveler. Someday he would play a role again, and when that day came, I wanted him to be ready. His reaction to what I said would be critical to the future of the Travelers, our battle with Saint Dane, and his part in all of it.

“Let's go back to the flume,” was all he said. Then he stood up and walked off.

Nothing was resolved.

As Patrick drove us back uptown to the subway in the Bronx, I could only hope that Spader was trying to understand. I didn't push. I didn't want to sound like some kind of parent. Spader had to work this through for himself.

Patrick dropped us off at the green kiosk, and after saying our good-byes, Spader and I made our way back down to the
gate and the flume. Still, nothing was said. I worried that Spader would take off on his own without a word. I couldn't let that happen. We had to settle this.

When we got inside the gate, Spader stepped up to the black mouth of the flume. If he had called out a territory, I would have pulled him away.

But he didn't. He turned his back to the flume and faced me. We stood there for a second, then finally he said softly, “I'm with you, mate.”

“Are you?” I asked.

“I said it to you before,” he continued. “However this natty-do is going to play out, I believe it's you who will bring us through. If you want me to go home, then it's back to Cloral for me.”

I was relieved and saddened at the same time. This meant we were officially going our own ways.

“Spader, you're like my brother,” I said.

“I feel the same about you, Pendragon,” he said with a small smile. “That's why I'm listening to what you say. It's true, I've been wanting to crush Saint Dane since my father died. I've tried to put it out of my head, but it's always there. I've got to find some way to deal with that, and if it means going home and taking time to think things through, that's what I'll do.”

Spader then added, “I want you to promise me one thing though.”

“What's that?”

“When you find yourself in a tum-tigger, and I know you will, come get me.”

That was what I wanted to hear. Spader was the Traveler from Cloral. His spirit and talent had gotten us through in times when I was ready to give up. However this war with
Saint Dane was going to play out, Spader would have to take on a major role.

“Bet on it,” I said.

That was what
he
wanted to hear. The two of us hugged. I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to be on my own again. Especially now, when I was doubting my own worthiness as a Traveler. For a brief second I thought it would be better to deal with Spader's unpredictability than to let him go. But I had to be strong.

He held me at arm's length and said, “I'll be ready.”

I nodded. Spader then backed away and glanced into the tunnel.

“Safe trip,” I said.

Spader faced the infinite black hole and shouted, “Cloral!”

The craggy tunnel rumbled to life. The far-off light appeared from deep inside, growing closer. The familiar musical notes were on their way. The bright light quickly grew intense. Spader turned to me and smiled.

“Hobey-ho, Pendragon.”

“Hobey-ho, Spader.”

A second later he was gone.

I don't think I ever felt so lonely. Well, maybe once before. When I stood on the empty lot where my house on Second Earth used to be.

My whole life I was used to having people guide me toward the right answers. First it was my parents. Teachers were there too. So were my friends like you, Mark and Courtney. Of course Uncle Press played a huge part. I didn't always like being told what to do, but it was good to know somebody was always looking out for me.

Now I felt like I was on a highwire without a net. If I was going to get to the other side, the only one who would get me
there was me. I had two choices. I could stand here and feel sorry for myself, or move forward.

I turned away from the now quiet flume and changed back into my First Earth clothes. Before doing anything else, I had to get back and let Gunny know what had happened.

“First Earth!” I shouted into the flume.

I then closed my eyes, looking forward to the few minutes of a flume ride when I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

W
hen I walked through the front doors of the Manhattan Tower Hotel, Gunny was the first person I saw. He was at his Bell Captain post, dressed in his spiffy uniform, acting as if nothing had happened. The lobby was buzzing with people, all reading special-edition newspapers that had accounts of the
Hindenburg
disaster. It seemed like everybody had their own theory as to what had caused the explosion and crash.

None of them were right, of course.

Gunny and I took the elevator up to my room on the sixth floor so we could talk in private.

“Everything's cool,” I said to Gunny as we entered the room. “Third Earth is exactly the way we left it.”

Gunny let out a relieved breath. “Where's Spader?”

“Back home on Cloral,” I said. “He needs some time to get his head around what happened.”

“Does he understand?” Gunny asked.

“About the
Hindenburg,
yeah,” I answered. “The big question is, can we count on him in the future?”

“And?”

“I don't know,” I answered honestly. “I hope so.”

I sat down on the couch, sinking into the soft cushions. I was suddenly very tired. I think I could have fallen asleep for a week. The tension was finally gone. We had been in overdrive for a long time, and now that we were done, I was ready to crash. But my mind wouldn't let me.

“Gunny, I'm scared,” I said.

“About what? Saint Dane?”

“I'm scared about what we had to do to stop him,” I said. I spoke slowly, trying to put my thoughts into words. “Letting the
Hindenburg
blow up was…”

I couldn't think of a big enough word to describe how horrible it was.

“I hear you,” Gunny said.

“And I'm scared of what might happen the next time Saint Dane tries to test me,” I added. “What if I don't have somebody like you around to cover my back? Gunny, he didn't care about what happened to the Earth territories. This was about proving he could control us. Control
me
! You know what that means? It means he won. I was going to kick over that rocket.”

“But you didn't.”

“Only because you were there. Saint Dane proved his point. Gunny, I can't do this.”

Gunny sat back in his chair, nodding slowly. When he finally spoke it was with a calm, sure voice that I wanted so badly to believe in.

“None of us asked for this job,” he began. “I'd just as soon live out my days here at the hotel, never knowing anybody named Saint Dane or people called Travelers. But that's not the way things turned out.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

“But there's one thing I think about that gives me a little peace of mind. Maybe it'll help you, too.”

“Go for it,” I said. “I'll take anything.”

“Ever since your uncle told me I was a Traveler, I've been wondering why I'd been chosen. Still do. Why us? We're nothing special, just regular folks. But the more I think about it, the more I've got to believe there's something bigger at play here. I think we've each been chosen for a reason. Like last night. I truly believe I was at the
Hindenburg
to do what I did. This may sound silly, but thinking that way gives me a little hope that maybe we just might be the right ones to be doing this after all.”

“So, if we were chosen, who did the choosing?”

“Exactly! That's the big question. Who is it that has the kind of vision it takes to see how things should be, and play chess with a guy like Saint Dane? I haven't got a clue. But whoever it is, he wants Saint Dane to fail. That means he's a good guy. And I like the idea of a powerful good guy being on our side.” Gunny smiled and said, “Maybe your back is covered a little bit more than you think.”

Could it be? Could there be some grand plan at work? Was there a guy out there who wanted to stop Saint Dane and chose us to be his soldiers? If there was, I'd sure like to know. Maybe I wouldn't feel so alone anymore.

“You're a smart guy, Gunny,” I said.

“I'm nothing of the sort,” he said back to me. “I've just been around a while. I plan on being around a good while longer, too.”

I rolled over, closed my eyes, and went to sleep. Right there on the couch. It was the first good night's rest I'd had in a long time.

 

The next few days were spent finishing this journal and saying good-bye. I tried to see Jinx, but she had already
checked out of the hotel. Maybe it was a good thing. I wasn't sure what I'd say if she started asking about the
Hindenburg.
Wherever she was, whatever the future held for her, I silently wished her luck.

I said good-bye to my friends on the hotel staff. Dewey Todd was all sorts of excited because his father had just built another hotel out in Hollywood, and he was leaving New York to run the place. Can you believe it? Dewey was going to get his own hotel. I hoped he had learned more about running a hotel than he had about running the elevator. He wished me well and said if I was ever out in Hollywood to look him up.

As soon as I finish this last journal from First Earth, I'm going to give it to Gunny to have them bound. I wish I could send them to you through my ring, but I'm afraid it's gone for good. There's no way I'm going looking for it. I've had my fill of gangsters.

Tomorrow I'm going to take the train out to Stony Brook and put the journals in a safe-deposit box at the National Bank. This way, when the calendar comes around, you'll be able to pick them up. After that, I don't know what I'll do with my journals.

The next question is, where do I go from here? The logical answer would be to Veelox. Saint Dane said he was headed there. But was that to lure me into another trap? Even if it were, do I have any choice?

I began this journal by telling you guys I had reached my own turning point. Part of that was because I had seen the kind of destruction Saint Dane was trying to cause on the Earth territories. You don't see something frightening like that and shrug it off. If I didn't fully realize it before, I do now.

But maybe more important was the moment when I watched the fuse burning on the rocket that was about to
destroy the
Hindenburg.
In that moment I knew what I was supposed to do, but I didn't do it.

When it comes right down to it, was my mistake any different than what I accused Spader of? I let my emotions control me, just as Spader did. As I'm writing this journal, I'm admitting that I have very real doubts about myself as a Traveler. Saint Dane put me at that rocket to prove a point. He knew I wouldn't be able to let the
Hindenburg
crash, which means he knew how to control me.

I can't let that happen again. The stakes are way too high. I know that, now more than ever. If there's anything good that came from my failure on First Earth, it's that I have now totally given myself over to being a Traveler.

One way or another, I'm in it to the end.

As I've written so many times before, I hope you guys are reading this. I have no idea when I'll be able to write again, or from what territory. All I can say is, check the safe-deposit box at the bank every so often to see if there are any new deliveries. I won't stop writing. I can't. Writing these journals has kept me sane. It makes me feel as if you guys are here with me. So until the next time, have fun, be safe, and think about me every once in a while.

Your friend,

Bobby

 

END OF JOURNAL #12