The Night Before Thirty (32 page)

Chris closed the truck door and walked back over to Tanya. They stepped into the hall.

“Chris, I'm scared. I am very scared,” she admitted.

“I know you are, baby, but me and you are going to make it. We're going to be a good team. That's if you're saying yes. Are you saying yes? Please tell me you're saying yes,” he said, and poked out his lips.

“Yes, Chris. I am saying yes,” Tanya said confidently.

Chris threw his arms around her and wildly kissed her.

“I love you so much and it's gonna work, just you and me,” he said.

“Chris, it's not just you and me anymore,” Tanya said.“What?” he replied, fumbling through his pocket again.

“Chris, I'm pregnant,” she announced.

He threw his head back in excitement.“Really? Are you serious? Are you really pregnant?” he asked. He lifted her up and swung her around. Then he put her down and tried to compose himself.

“That's all the more reason to do this thing right, starting here and now.” Chris kneeled on his knees again and grabbed Tanya's hand.

“Tanya, will you make me the proudest man in the world and say you'll marry me?” he asked.

“I will,” she said, and kissed her future husband. She was not sure what their actions on that day meant they would become, or where it would take them, but for the first time in their relationship, she trusted that Chris was going to do the right thing for himself, for her, and for their unborn baby.

S SOON AS
Lashawnda pulled up at her mother's apartment, she quickly dropped her bags in the guest bedroom that used to belong to her, then she went back to the living room, where her mother was rearranging furniture.

“Making room for the tree, huh?” she said.

“Yeah, we're going to pick it up tonight when John gets home.”

“You need some help?” Lashawnda asked.

“Nah.”

“I'm getting ready to go to the store. Do you need anything?”

“A pack of cigarettes,” her mother replied.

“I got you. And, Mom, I plan to be out by the end of the month,” Lashawnda said as she headed out the door.

“I hope so, because it's getting crowded around here,” her mother responded, and went back to adjusting the furniture.

Lashawnda came back from the store with her mother's cigarettes, a bag of chips, a drink, the Sunday paper, and an apartment guide magazine.

She'd already narrowed down that she wanted to live in Cobb County, so that she'd be close to downtown by train and also not be too far from her mother. She had good credit, so she knew she'd have no
problem finding a move-in special where there would be either no deposit or the first month of rent would be free. There were tons of promos like that. She just had to decide which place would be in her price range.

It was still early on Sunday, so she called the properties she was interested in and found she could visit them that day. She grabbed the guide and headed out the door to hunt for apartments.

She adored the first place she came to—it was near the bus line and close to the mall, and the layout was spacious and clean—but she decided to check out the others on her list, just in case. Of the three she visited, she liked the first best, plus they were offering a waived deposit and the first month's rent free, so she rushed back to their leasing office and signed the contract for her new place. Provided her credit check and employment verification would go through on Monday, the place was hers to move into on the fifteenth.

Lashawnda was so pumped that she drove back to her mother's place to search the classifieds for a new job. She passed her mother and John on their way out the door.

“Shawnda, we going to go get the tree. There are some greens and ham in the oven. Help yourself. Just leave us some for sandwiches.”

“Thanks, and Momma, I'll be moving out sooner than I thought.”

“Okay, Lashawnda, but it's not that serious,” her mother replied.

“Oh yes it is,” Lashawnda replied, and walked into the apartment. She knew her mother needed her privacy as much as she did.

Lashawnda scanned the classifieds with her highlighter pen and marked every administrative, executive assistant, and office manager ad she qualified for. Most were through a temporary job placement service. She cut and taped the ads into her notebook so that she could discreetly make phone calls and fax out resumes without having the newspaper on her desk at work. Cicely had watched her like a hawk the past week, and she didn't want to do anything to draw attention to the fact that she was actively pursuing another job.

CICELY BOUNCED THROUGH
the office, glowing, still on a high from her vacation. Lashawnda was on a high herself—early that morning, the apartment she'd applied for called to verify her employment and Lashawnda
validated it herself. So there was an abundance of positive energy bouncing around, only their energies worked hard to avoid each other. Cicely walked around, in and out of her office, humming all day, while Lashawnda attempted to be involved in her duties. She'd actually gotten a lot done, but whenever she found herself alone because Cicely was in with a patient, she pulled out her notepad and made phone calls and sent out several faxes. She put her cell phone number as her contact number on her resume; she put the phone on vibrate and answered as many of the incoming calls as possible. By lunch, she had some promising interviews set up. Several of the temp agents she'd spoken with assured her that she would have no problem finding a new job.

Cicely finished with her last client before lunch. It was Mrs. Bland. Her black eye had cleared up, and she seemed to be in good spirits. After she walked out the door, Cicely buzzed Lashawnda.

“Yes, Cicely,” Lashawnda said through the intercom.

“Could you come in for just a minute?” she asked.

“I'm on my way,” Lashawnda replied. She picked up a small pad and a pen just in case she needed to take notes and walked into Cicely's office. When she walked in, her mind flashed to all of the lunch breaks and late evenings they'd spent in there, fooling around on the therapy couch. They were fun times, but Lashawnda didn't want a part of them anymore.

“Have a seat,” Cicely said. Lashawnda took a seat in a chair across the desk and waited for her to speak.

“What are your plans for lunch?” Cicely asked.

“I was thinking I would run downstairs and get something from the deli and come back up here and eat at my desk,” Lashawnda said.

“Would you like to join me for dinner?” Cicely asked, as if Lashawnda had never caught her and Marissa having sex in their bed. As if they were supposed to still be a couple.

“No … thank you,” Lashawnda replied slowly. She decided that there was nothing that Cicely could say, or do, that would have shock value.

“Lashawnda, we're going to be working together; we might as well try to be friends,” Cicely insisted.

“Cicely, I will continue to work for you because I need a check and you need an employee, but I don't see how we can be friends, because
every time I look at you now all I see is Marissa's breasts all in your face. I feel betrayed. I see you as a liar. How can we be friends when I see all of that?”

“I understand that you're upset, Lashawnda, and I apologize that things turned out the way that they did. I still care about you. It's just that Marissa was under a tremendous amount of stress, and she came on to me. I tried to resist, but you know what happens when you've had too much to drink. One thing led to another, and that's when you walked in.”

Lashawnda burst into laughter.“Cicely, you think I'm some kind of a fool, don't you? I'm not the same person you rescued in front of the grocery store. I'm a full-grown woman. And I'm insulted that you would come to me with a lame story like that.” Lashawnda shook her head in disgust.“You know what, Cicely, I was going to try to stay here through the week, but it's not even worth it. The money is not that big a deal.”

“So you're quitting?” Cicely asked in disbelief.

“You know, I tried, but I can't stand to be in the same space with you.”

“After everything I've done for you, you mean to tell me you're going to just leave me without any help?” She was beginning to lose control of her usually calm demeanor.

“I'm sure I've returned the favor in more ways than one,” Lashawnda said, and got up out of her seat.“You weren't the only one giving.”

“You'll be back, because who else would hire you? You're a thirty-year-old woman with no real skills or experience,” Cicely huffed as she stood to her feet. Her face was contorted and flushed. It was the most out of control Lashawnda had ever seen Cicely.“You were nothing when I first met you. If it weren't for me, you would still be in the ghetto trying to scrape by. You're still a hoochy hood rat!”

“Cicely, with all your degrees and credentials, I'm sure you can come up with a better way to insult me,” Lashawnda said calmly. She relished knowing that Cicely needed her much more than she needed Cicely.

“You know what, bitch, just get out of my office!” Cicely yelled.

“My pleasure, Cicely. I'm leaving,” Lashawnda said, and walked toward the door. But she couldn't resist having the last word.“And by the way, your sex is not as good as you think. You're actually quite boring. I know men who lick it better than you could ever imagine.”

Lashawnda walked out and closed the door behind her. Cicely was yelling something, but Lashawnda was so puffed up that she didn't hear. She gathered her things from her desk and found a small box to put them in. Then she stopped and took a moment to look around the office that had changed her life. She knew she'd never see that place again. She slowly walked out and closed the door behind her. Instead of being sad, she felt good inside and was confident about her possibilities.

She still wasn't sure about her sexuality. As things stood, she'd had a bad track record with both men and women. However, she was beginning to like herself, so she looked forward to getting to know Lashawnda and finding out what kinds of things she would fill her apartment with, what kind of job she would be able to land. She anticipated finding out what she'd like to do when she was alone, and she wondered what kind of person she would find herself linked to. Regardless of their gender, she knew that it would be someone she would choose out of want and compatibility instead of need or convenience. She was a grown-ass woman and knew it was high time to make decisions that reflected her age. She also knew that regardless of her recent losses and the uncertainty of her future, she was going to be just fine.

HE ALARM CLOCK
went off at eight a.m. Alecia rolled over and hit all the buttons until she found the snooze.