The Nines (The Nines #1) (16 page)

As I look into Alexander’s eyes I realize maybe I shouldn’t blame him for not doing more to stop the DOGs before their criminal behavior escalated. The guys come from rich and powerful families, and he’s an outsider just like I am. Probably one of the many reasons I find him so overwhelmingly attractive.

“Are we really together?” I ask.

He nods. Then he runs his thumb down my cheek. “For as long as you want to be.”

I close my eyes and prepare for a kiss. He doesn’t disappoint me. His lips are as soft and tender as the last time he kissed me.

“Would you like to go into the bedroom?” For the first time I hear a bit of playfulness in Alexander’s voice and he actually sounds like the twenty-year-old that he is instead of a forty-five-year old trapped in a twenty-year-old’s body.

“I would.”

He doesn’t hesitate to grab my hand and pull me toward the bedroom. He makes a stop next to one of the boxes of stuff that got delivered and removes a huge box of condoms. “Can’t forget these.”

“That’s an enormous box. Do you plan on using all of those?”

He gives me a sly grin. “If you’ll let me.”

The fact that Alexander wants me is still a little difficult to accept. After the Back to School bombing I gave up on the idea of dating anyone while I was in high school. Even after changing my name and building a new life for myself I was still afraid of getting close enough to anyone to ever have a relationship.

And now standing before me is an extremely sexy man, who looks like he’s ready to devour me.

He tosses the box of condoms onto his bed and then devotes his full attention to me. The hunger in his eyes sends of wave a desire right through me.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

I shake my head. I’m not even sure he expects an answer, or if it’s really a question at all. I’m glad he thinks I’m beautiful; no one has ever expressed those sentiments to me before. My parents weren’t ones to give compliments with the rare exception of my academic achievements, and it’s certainly not something a brother typically says to his sister. The names I was called by my classmates were always derogatory and definitely never included beautiful.

He kisses me again, this time deeper and greedier. And when he pulls me close I can feel his erection pushing hard against my body.

When our eyes meet I can see something deeper, and maybe even troubling. “What’s wrong?”

He bites his bottom lip. “It’s just…I never thought I’d have this again.”

I furrow my brow. “What?”

“I never thought I’d have someone care about me. I definitely never thought anyone would want to be with me.”

I can’t help but smile. “You’re not the only one.”

Now he looks confused. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t think I’d ever have this either.”

“But why?”

I don’t answer right away. I let the question hang in the air and let him think about it for it moment. It’s almost like just for moment he forgot what my brother did to him.

“But it wasn’t you,” he assures me. “You had nothing to do with your brother’s actions.”

“Unfortunately a lot of people don’t see it that way.”

“I didn’t either,” he admits. “At first. But now I can’t imagine being with anyone but you. Is that messed up?”

I very carefully run my fingers along the scars on his cheek. “I’m not sure what it is or isn’t. All I know is how I feel. And I know I want to be with you.”

My declaration seems to ignite something deep within him. This time when he kisses me I’m nearly overwhelmed by the intensity. And when he kisses my neck and nibbles my earlobe my entire body shudders in response.

“I want you,” he whispers.

I want him too, but the words stick in my throat. I’m nervous about finally taking the step and giving myself to him completely.

“Is everything okay?” He lifts my chin so that we’re looking at each other.

“I’m just a little nervous,” I admit.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m going to let you steer the ship, okay?”

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”

His brow furrows. “Why would I ever be disappointed?”

“Because—I—um.” I take in a deep breath. “I don’t have a lot of experience.”

I can’t believe that he laughs. “Do you think I’ve had women lining up outside my house?”

I shrug.

“I’ve had one girlfriend. When I was in high school. That was before the bombing. She left me. She never told me why, but I assume she couldn’t handle how I looked. I haven’t been with anyone since then.” He looks deep into my eyes. “There’s absolutely no way in which you could ever disappoint me. Just having you here, with me, is more than I could have ever imagined.”

My heart is nearly beating out of my chest as I slowly unbutton my shirt and let it fall to the floor. I can’t remember feeling so vulnerable in my life. I take in a sharp breath as Alexander lightly brushes his fingers from my shoulder all the way down my arm. My body seems to respond to his touch like a Pavlovian dog to a bell.

Then he slowly moves his hands toward my breasts. As he gingerly brushes his thumbs over my nipples I let out a low moan in response.

We both look at each other again, as if we’re trying to read each other’s minds.

He raises an eyebrow. “Bed?”

I nod eagerly.

He swallows before he speaks. “Maybe we could lose more of our clothes.”

“You first,” I suggest.

His shirt is removed without a moment’s hesitation. I notice that he waits for a long moment before proceeding. Just enough time for me to examine the scars that line the entire left side of his body.

When he finally moves towards his pants he glances up at me before proceeding. It’s like he’s waiting for my permission.

I give a quick nod and his pants come off. All that’s left are his boxer briefs, which he fills out quite nicely.

I bite my bottom lip in anticipation of what’s coming next. And before I can make the suggestion the boxer briefs join his other clothes on the floor.

Scars line the entire length of his body from his arms and chest all the way down his hips and his legs. There isn’t a part of the left side of his body that has been spared.

“Is everything okay?” His normally confident voice sounds small and unsure and pierces my heart.

I don’t reply. I just remove my bra and look at him.

“You still have too much clothing on.”

My pants come down in response. I’m now in nothing but my underwear. I’m surprised I’m not more self-conscious, but the way Alexander is eying me, with so much desire, fuels my confidence.

“Still too much,” he taunts.

I remove my panties. “Better?”

He shakes his head. “Not quite.”

Before I realize what’s happening Alexander grabs me and carries me over the bed. He carefully places me down and then hops into the bed with me. As he cups my face in his hands he says, “I want you to know how much this means to me. How much you mean to me.”

I’m not sure how to respond so I kiss him. My gesture seems to unleash something from deep within him and he ravages me. His mouth and hands claim nearly every part of my body.

My mind is a whirlwind of all kinds of thoughts, but the most prominent is the voice that’s eager for Alexander to completely take me in every way possible.

“Do you want me?’ Alexander’s plea is nearly breathless.

I nod, but that doesn’t seem to be enough.

“Tell me,” he prods.

“I want you. Please.”

Every part of my body aches for release.

As his hands grope for the box of condoms he doesn’t take his eyes from mine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so needy and hungry in my entire life.

Once he’s got a condom in his hands I watch as he pulls it over his extremely hard erection. My stomach clenches for a split second while I consider what we’re about to do. I take in a deep breath and try not to panic as he moves over me.

“Just relax.” He gives me a comforting half smile.

When he pushes into me I take in a sharp breath.

He stops mid-thrust. “Are you okay?”

I quickly nod even though I’m not sure. There will only be one first time and as excited and turned on as I am, I feel equally apprehensive and terrified.

“I’m falling in love with you, Rovzan.”

I have a moment of panic when I realize he’s not using my new name, but he doesn’t give me a chance to think about it. He places his mouth over mine as he pushes into me and muffles my cry with his kiss.

He looks into my eyes as he brushes his hand over my cheek. “Do you want to stop?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re sure you’re okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Keep going,” I urge.

He doesn’t hesitate. He moves in and out of me slowly at first until my muscles relax enough to accommodate him.

“Better?”

“Much.”

“Good.”

He thrusts into me again, this time a little more forcefully and my body responds with another sharp intake of breath.

“I’m not sure how long I can last,” he whispers. “This time.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him.

“I want you to have an orgasm with me.”

I have no idea what one even feels like, but I’d like to find out.

“Close your eyes and relax,” he coaxes.

I do as I’m told. I try my best to still my overactive mind and just feel him inside of me. I love the way he fills me so completely. And the way he wants to possess every part of my body.

He nibbles on my breasts and sucks on each of my nipples until they’re so sensitive I can’t take anymore. Then he moves to my ears and nibbles on my lobes. This simple act sends a fury of shivers through my entire body.

“I’ve never been so turned on in my entire life,” he whispers into my ear. “You’re so perfect. So perfect for me.”

His thrusts are quicker and more forceful and I can see a few beads of sweat trickle down his face.

I relax completely and feel him as he moves in and out of me. The act is so carnal and so raw and I’m surprised by how much I love it.

As he pushes hard and fast I gasp. And then my entire body tightens and I let out a loud moan.

“Oh, God,” Alexander exclaims as his entire body spasms with pleasure.

He pulls me close and holds me tight as we both climax.

Then he kisses me, a wonderfully tender kiss that brings me back to reality. I’ve just had sex for the first time and it was painful and pleasurable and exciting and lusty. Is it possible to explain the mixture of all of those feelings as Alexander caresses my cheek and looks at me expectantly?

“How was it?’ he whispers breathless and so unsure of himself.

“It was great.”

“It’s been a long time since…” his voice trails off.

“You don’t have to explain anything.” I touch his face, the side with the scars.

“It was your first time. I wanted it to be perfect.”

And as I take him in I’m amazed at how less broken he looks than the first time I saw him. “There’s no such thing as perfect. We’re two damaged people, but when we’re together I think we make each other a lot less flawed. Somehow our broken pieces seem to be coming back together again.”

“You make me sound like Humpty Dumpty,” he teases. “Except that poor egg couldn’t be put back together again.” When his eyes meet mine they’ve turned serious. “Are you saying you’re going to help put me back together again?”

I swallow. Inherent in his question is whether I’m going to be there for him for a long haul rather than just a short run. I’ve never had much of a reason to think about the future much less a future with someone else. I’ve never had a lover. I’ve never really even had a best friend.

“I’ve always been an outsider,” I admit. “Having someone in my life, other than my parents, it’s new to me.”

He nods. I don’t think it’s the answer he wanted, but it’s the only one I have for him right now. He gives me a quick kiss before he withdraws.

“I need to get cleaned up.”

I have to admit I feel a sense of emptiness when he leaves even though I know he’s coming right back.

When he returns a few seconds later he’s already in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I feel awkward still being naked. And he seems a bit distant when he looks at me.

“Do you mind if I get a shower?” I ask as I rise from the bed. That’s when I notice a bit of blood on my thigh and I am horrified.

I don’t wait for him to respond as I hurry into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I’m grateful that it doesn’t take very long to heat. I let the warm water cascade down my body as I replay the conversation we just had in my mind. I try to imagine what I said that could have upset him or hurt him. It’s certainly the last thing I ever want to do.

I notice my shampoo is already in the shower for me and that makes me smile. And when I finish my shower and get dried off I notice a full array of female products from lotions to powders lining one side of his vanity. He’s even laid out a full change of new clothes for me.