The No Cry Nap Solution (6 page)

ting and keeping a daily naptime will help keep your child’s bio-

20 Nap Magic

logical clock working properly and in sync with his homeostatic

sleep pressure so that his volcano need not erupt.

Night Sleep Versus Nap Sleep

Nap problems are often more of a challenge to solve than night

sleep troubles. This is in part due to a more specifi c and intense

need for night sleep. The need for a nap can be suppressed or over-

ridden. In addition, lifestyle dictates nighttime sleep, but daytime

naps can be avoided. The human body automatically craves sleep

from about the time the sun sets to when it rises again. Naptime,

however, doesn’t have this very specifi c regulator, and nap needs

are slightly different child by child and even day by day.

Even though it can be more complicated to manage, nap sleep

is just as important to your child’s health, behavior, and develop-

ment as his nighttime sleep, so it is worth the effort to create and

maintain a healthy napping routine.

Professional-Speak

“Sleep is one of your baby’s most important jobs, and help-

ing your baby sleep is one of your most important jobs as

a parent.”

—Dr. Polly Moore, Director of Sleep Research at

California Clinical Trials in San Diego

Naps: How and Where?

Now you know the answers to the question,
Why are naps critically

important?
The answers to the “hows” and “wheres” are much more

vague and fl exible. As I am researching this book, I am amazed at

the amount of “shoulds” I am coming across. You
should
do this.

Important Facts You Should Know About Sleep
21

You
must
do that. All types of professionals direct parents about

how and where their child should nap, many with dire warnings

should you fail to follow their advice.

When I blocked out all the noise and looked at the bottom-line

results, it all boiled down to this:
there are no absolute rules that you

must follow when it comes to where or how your child naps
. And in

truth, following absolute rules that are presented as cookie-cutter

solutions for all children will often fail you because each child is

an individual with a distinctive personality and unique needs.

The Three Critical Nap Questions

There are three critical questions that need to be explored as you

fi gure out the details of your child’s sleep. The answers to them

should be used as your guide to answer the “hows” and “wheres”

of your child’s naps. Once you’ve answered them, then you can

proceed with your own unique best solutions.

There are no right answers. (No matter what anyone else tells

you.) The best nap solutions are vastly different for every single

child. The three critical questions that should guide your child’s

napping plan are these:

• Is my child getting enough sleep?

• Is the sleeping place safe?

• Is everyone in the household happy with the situation?

Solving Your Child’s Napping Problems

This book is about solving those problems that
you
feel are prob-

lems. Just because there is a chapter about how to help your baby

stop napping in your arms doesn’t mean that napping in your

arms is an evil sin to be banished and you must stop now no mat-

ter what—it means that
if
having your baby nap in your arms is a

problem for
you
, then I will provide you with ideas that will help

22 Nap Magic

you make a change. Even within the group of parents wanting to

move babies out of in-arms naps, each will fi nd different solutions

that work best for them, so I will provide an assortment of ideas

for you to choose from for each situation.

With this important concept in mind, let’s start with a crucial

principle that I urge you to keep as a guiding light throughout

the rest of this book and, for that matter, through the rest of your

life:

The No-Cry Process for Peaceful

There are no absolute rules about raising children and no guar-

antees for any parenting techniques. Raise your children how

you choose to raise them and in ways that are right for you.

Within the range of your comfort zone, modify your approach

for each of your children based on their needs, personality,

and temperament.

Address only those problems that are true problems to you,

and don’t create or imagine problems because someone else

thinks you have them, no matter if that person is family, friend,

or expert.

Keep your problems in perspective and take ample time to

plot the best course of action. Solve your problems by analyz-

ing possible solutions and choosing those solutions that are

right for you and your family. Know that there is rarely one right

answer, and often it will take multiple routes before getting to

the best destination.

Read, listen, and learn constantly, but always sift what you

learn through the strainer of your own personal beliefs and

parenting philosophy.

Create Your Sleep Logs

and Your Nap Plan

When you begin to work on improving your child’s naps, it

can be helpful to pick one day and create logs to record

your child’s current sleeping patterns. These logs can help you

analyze how your child is sleeping and will help you determine

which ideas will best apply to your situation. The other advantage

of doing these logs is that you’ll have a baseline from which you

can judge the effectiveness of your plan. By doing one new set of

logs every month or two, you’ll be able to see how your little one’s

nap routines are changing and thus be better able to make adjust-

ments in your plan if you need to.

The logs are intended to help you through the process and

should give you a feeling of control over what may now be an out-

of-control situation. They are a tool to guide you. If, however, one

look at them gives you hives, then by all means skip the logs and

go directly on to creating your plan. If even making a plan seems

like too much work, then just fi nd the chapter that best defi nes

your problem and use any ideas that sound right for you. The

last thing I want to do is create any stress for you. Many parents

fi nd, however, that the logs help them to make clearer decisions

about what needs to change. Don’t be tempted to log any more

frequently than every two to four weeks, though, as you might cre-

ate unnecessary tension over sleep issues.

Create Your Sleep Logs

What follows are two logs: a
nap log
and a
daily schedule log
. Each

one shows a sample entry. You will also fi nd questions to help you

(cont. on p. 26)

23

24 Nap Magic

Nap Log

Name: _________________________________________________________________

Age: ___________________________________________________________________

Date: ___________________________________________________________________

Awake

time from

Time child

previous

fell asleep

waking to

and woke

How child

Where

How long

this sleep

up*

fell asleep

child slept

child slept

time

Morning

7:00

wake-up time

10:00–

Swaddled

1 hour,

11:30

and swinging

In his swing

30 minutes

3 hours

*You may want to round numbers to make the chart easier to analyze.

Create Your Sleep Logs and Your Nap Plan
25

Daily Schedule Log

Name: _________________________________________________________________

Age: ___________________________________________________________________

Date: ___________________________________________________________________

Record these activities:

Wake up (in the morning and after naps)*

Eat (include meals and snacks)

Fall asleep (include naps and bedtime)

Time

Activity

7:00

Wake up

*If night waking is a problem, refer to the information about night sleep on my website a
t www.nocry

sleepsolution.com.

26 Nap Magic

evaluate your child’s nap patterns and a worksheet to help you set

a plan.

The
nap log
is important as it will show how long it takes your

child to fall asleep, where and how he falls asleep, and when and

how long he naps—which will all be valuable to analyze.

The
daily schedule log
will help you see how the rest of your

child’s day unfolds. This gives you a broader perspective, since

other factors in your child’s day will also affect his napping, and

since his napping likely affects his night sleep and vice versa.

These logs will direct you toward your best naptime solutions and

help you monitor your progress.

Sleep Plan Questions

Take a minute to review the logs you’ve created, the chart of sleep

hours on page 8, and the information in Part 1, “Nap Magic,” and

answer the following questions:

How many hours of nighttime sleep
should
your child be

getting? ________

How many hours of nighttime sleep
is
your child getting now?

________

How many naps
should
your child be getting? ________

How many naps
is
your child getting now? ________

How many hours of daytime sleep (naps)
should
your child be

getting? ________

How many hours of daytime sleep (naps)
is
your child getting

now? ________

How many hours
should
your child be awake between getting

up in the morning and the fi rst nap? ________

How many hours
is
your child awake between getting up in

the morning and the fi rst nap? ________

How many hours
should
your child be awake between the fi rst

nap and the second nap? ________

Create Your Sleep Logs and Your Nap Plan
27

How many hours
is
your child awake between the fi rst nap

and the second nap? ________

How many hours
should
your child be awake between the last

nap of the day and bedtime? ________

How many hours
is
your child awake between the last nap of

the day and bedtime? ________

How many total hours of sleep
should
your child be

getting? ________

How many total hours of sleep
is
your child getting

now? ________

How do the suggested hours of sleep on the chart compare to

your child’s actual hours of sleep?

Gets _____ hours
too little daytime
sleep

Gets _____ hours
too much daytime
sleep

Gets _____ hours
too little nighttime
sleep

Gets _____ hours
too much nighttime
sleep

Is your child frequently awake for too long between sleep

periods? ______

Create a Nap Plan

Throughout this book you’ll fi nd a multitude of ideas that are

subject-specifi c so you can choose those that suit your situation,

your personality, and your family. Writing down your plan will

consolidate all your ideas in one place for easy reference and will

help you to remember the things you are going to do.

Even if you begin by making a few subtle changes, you may see

improvement
in your child’s napping, so go ahead and begin using

any ideas that make sense to you along the way, even before you

settle on an exact plan. The sooner you get started, the better!

As you work though your plan, try to stay relaxed about it, but

be consistent. Do give each idea enough time to have an impact—

at least two or three weeks. A day or two isn’t enough time to

judge an idea’s value. This is not a quick-fi x plan, but it is a plan

28 Nap Magic

that will enable you to help your child become a healthy napper.

After all, it has taken longer than a day or two to get where you

are now, and habits take some time to change, not to mention

that biology and maturity are part of the picture as well. Keep in