Authors: Frances Vidakovic
It was the
equivalent of forcing all teen girls to go on the pill during their formative,
highly horny years, just in case they got pregnant. But Serena shouldn’t go
there…after all she probably WAS the only person in San Francisco who had never
been to Yosemite, despite its ‘close’ proximity. Mmm, wow, just four and a half
hours, gosh people obviously didn’t realize that in the same time one could
almost fly to the other side of the country…
Serena
flipped through the brochure until it came to the page displaying where she and
Jasper were staying: Yosemite Lakes Lodge. That was Lodge as in Not Tent-Style
Cabin, which was what Jasper had first suggested, surely for a laugh. Luckily
Serena had heard about those infamous canvas tents in Curry Village where the
only wood was in the framing, and the only remotely civilized features were the
electric lights (no heat, plumbing, outlets, phones or TV which to Serena
equaled four strikes and you’re out).
“Sorry,
sincerely I am,” Serena had said as daintily as possible. “But I’m allergic to
non-avant-garde facilities.”
This was
how they came to be standing in front of a quaint chocolate- colored Hansel and
Gretel house.
“Oh and to
think there is a bath inside!” Serena squealed with delight, jumping out of the
car.
Her legs
initially felt like wet spaghetti from the lack of blood circulation after the
long drive but once she got moving, all was well. By gosh it was fantastic! Quite
by fluke they had scored a spot in the parking lot close to the cabin and now
Serena’s eyes were busy scanning across everything in sight. Ah the beauty of
it all! Gift shops, restaurants, and trees, she’d never seen trees so huge, so
skeletal reaching up into the sky, almost like fishing rods that God had left
dangling so long from the clouds they had taken root. And no snow, contrary to
the threats of Yosemite brochure writers…just fresh, ice-cold air whipping
through her hair.
“Serena,
the food!” Jasper nodded, slightly panicky, to the picnic basket in the
backseat. His own arms were already full with two carry bags. “You haven’t already
forgotten what was said about the bears, have you?”
“How could
I?” Serena grinned.
Yosemite
was what they called a BEAR HABITAT. These animals had been the focus of half
the bloody manual:
Do not
feed bears, do not taunt them. Bears are stronger than you and if you feed,
taunt or tease them they may attack you in return. Note there has never been an
unprovoked attacked by a black bear in Yosemite. If a bear does approach you
make noise, wave your arms and throw SMALL stones at the bear
Serena
wasn’t quite sure whether this last insertion was a joke or not; did one really
want to risk getting the bear on their bad side?
Most
importantly, NEVER EVER leave ANY food ANYWHERE in your car (or anything
resembling food or food containers for that matter. This includes ice chests,
pizza boxes, candy wrappers or anything that might possibly smell like food
including toothpaste, soap, lotions, coffee, garbage etc). Please use the bear
boxes provided and keep them CLOSED at all times.
Luckily
bears and food were the last thing on Serena’s mind. Instead all she could
think about was the moment she and Jasper retired to their warm rooms. He had
seen her naked already of course, for the last five nights in a row actually
but they had never been naked together on a fluffy cream rug or by a flickering
fire. The thought of it warmed her immediately as she stood waiting
in a metaphorical pit of frost. They were almost boyfriend and girlfriend now,
she decided to herself. After all wasn’t this what boyfriends and girlfriends
did? Sleep together, go on vacations, and hold each other’s hands? Given that
it had been a while since Serena had felt the joys of giving birth to new
Coupledom, she granted herself the privilege of time to ruminate on this
wonder.
Fifteen
minutes later, somewhere in between unpacking and eyeing Jasper admiringly,
Serena stepped outside the shower and almost had a heart attack.
“Oh gosh I
think I love him,” she muttered disbelievingly to her inner self. “Hell I think
I have already fallen in love!”
Now to the
outside world, this may have been a rather an obvious observation but to
Serena, who less than one month ago had been playing the part of a stupefying
happy housewife, it was shock in the major degree. She had never used the word
love lightly, nor had she this time. Such was her welcome to the greatest
nightmare come true: Being in Love with Two Men at the Same Time.
In case one has never
made a trip to Yosemite themselves, a typical day plan for visitors to this
gorgeous escape usually looked like this:
Begin
the day by spending at least thirty minutes deciding which awe-inspiring, mind-boggling
beautiful leisurely walk one should partake on today.
Note this
was not an easy decision to make, given that there were about a thousand
different trails spread across Yosemite like an intricate spider web. Despite
lots of talk about wanting to tackle the more obscure parts of the wilderness,
visitors typically opted for the tried and true alternative: Vernal Fall
Bridge, El Capitan, Nevada Falls, Merced River or the Half Dome.
Embark
on the walk and quickly realize how crazy the idea was.
It didn’t
take Serena long at all to realize there was actually nothing mildly leisurely
about a four to eight mile walk UPHILL. Actually she grasped this insight before
she even left but by the time she voiced it they had gone too far to return. Despite
the chill in the air, she got very sweaty and seriously wished she could kill
the mountain for been constructed at a perfect 45 degree angle. Even promises from
Jasper that ‘it would be way, way easier on the way back’ did little to concert
her.
Once back
on the mainland, food usually takes precedence over showering for the first
time ever…
When
Serena said she could eat a horse after all those hours of walking she was
almost serious. She was positively starving!
“Please
point me in the right direction before I collapse,” she begged Jasper.
“Curry
Village Restaurant,” Jasper suggested, because according to the brochure it was
not only cheap but covered all the hot food one could eat. Which was pretty
much equivalent to a horse.
This time
Serena took her time deciding what food option to go for (seeing as hastiness was
what got her into trouble with the hiking). Would it be mashed potatoes and
gravy, macaroni and cheese or spaghetti with meatballs? Or there was also the
“South of the Border” section to consider – she could either make up her own burritos
and tacos or explore the Asian delights like egg rolls and rice. Just as long
as she left some room in her tummy for dessert (and my, my, what a glorious
selection there was on offer!) then she would be very satisfied at the end.
The only
problem was she couldn’t decide. So instead Serena made the biggest mistake of
all and chose to try absolutely everything. She piled her plate with a few
different options and then went back for more when her plate was clear.
“Are you
okay?” Jasper asked, glaring at her full plate after her fourth trip back to
the counter.
“I haven’t
had All You Can Eat for a very long time,” she replied defensively, ‘it would
be a waste not to sample the full menu.”
“If you
say so,” Jasper smiled which was so not fair because in that smile was a
knowingness of what lay ahead.
After
dinner, patrons usually retreat straight back to their tens or cabins as Quiet
Time officially begins at 10pm.
“Argghh,” Serena
moaned, as they waddled their way back to their room. Well, Serena waddled,
while clutching what looked like a rather pregnant stomach; Jasper on the other
hand moved like a lithe jaguar.
“You
should have warned me,” she cried.
“But you
were hungry enough to eat a horse,” Jasper grinned, “No horse on the menu so I
assumed eating everything else would be a good substitute. And you have to keep
it down with the moaning. Its Quiet time until six a.m. Unless it’s another
type of moaning you have in mind”.
But Serena
was in no mood for sexy time. Her stomach cramped like a wrench, her legs felt
like bricks and the only thing she wanted to do was fall into bed and hopefully
score a nice massage to ease her off into Dreamland.
Something
happened during the night which caused Serena to lose all consciousness of the
pain that had accumulated during the day before. Well almost all…When she awoke
the next morning to find Jasper gazing at the hiking map, rather than wanting
to scream and duck back under the covers, she found herself devising a secret plan.
She really
had an alternative agenda. After falling into the long hiking trap on the first
day Serena declared, “I refuse to trample across any more miles of timberland,
in the bitter cold, when we’ve spent good money for a fireplace and bath.” Lots
of cuddling and sex-induced snuggling was what she had in mind for today.
The only
thing Serena hadn’t counted on was how dead-set Jasper seemed to be on doing
some more exploring.
“Sorry did
you say something,” Jasper said, lifting his head up from what could have posed
as a National Geographic magazine. Serena bent in to have a look at the
brochure and almost lost her breath over how truly breathtaking the pictures
were.
“Inspiration
Falls…I was thinking we could go there today?” Jasper suggested, tilting the
brochure her way, “It’s apparently fantastic if you don’t mind the long drive.”
“Drive?”
Drive! It
was as if it were a magic word.
“Of course
I don’t mind a drive,” Serena replied, too overjoyed for words.
“From
there we can visit Glacier Falls,” Jasper went on. “They say you have to see it
to believe it.”
“Is that
the plan then?” Serena still could not believe that doing something touristy
here could involve petrol rather than human energy. “Let’s go then,” she said,
jumping out of bed and reaching for her sneakers. She started getting dressed before
Jasper could change his mind. Exploring was actually great idea, the best way
to get over the frightening new knowledge that she was in love with two boys.
Maybe if she ignored it, it would go away… or at the very least politely solve
itself. “We want to get back before sunset, right?”
“Well,
before Quiet time at the very least. So we can make a bit of noise while it’s
still acceptable,” Jasper grinned.
So that
was how the couple spent their next day at Yosemite. To visitors, Inspiration
Point was THE place to take pictures. Just off Highway 41 on the way to Glacier
Point, it gave a person an incredible panoramic view of Yosemite Valley and the
whole park. Words could not do it enough justice. One could attempt to imagine
the mammoth prehistoric mountains jutting out at all angles, one could try to
envisage green openness as far and wide as the eye can see…but like sex,
understanding the logistics and seeing a few pictures and videos were simply
not the same as the real thing.
To be
honest back at the cabin site Serena had no idea how colossal Yosemite was in
size. She was impressed with what little she had seen when in actual fact they
were sitting on just one hair follicle on Yosemite’s giant ear. Here was a
place where horse, mule, burro and llama riding were all permitted, which of
course meant such animals were gallivanting about somewhere in the park.
Flanked by the Nevada mountain ranges, Yosemite was abundant nature at its
extravagant best and despite threats that the countless waterfalls would be dry
at this time of the year Serena could hear the glorious sound of the falls
gently roaring.
She could
have spent all day there. In fact they almost did spend the entire day there,
chatting, laughing, sharing stories, watching the hours slip away. Making their
way up to Glacier Point afterwards was also an exciting event and so easy – no
long distance walking involved! There they found the best and most accessible
high-elevation viewpoint in the Sierra Nevada range and to get there, the
couple simply took the paved 16-mile road that forked west from CA 41 at
Chinquapin Junction. By then dusk was falling and a soft haze hung over the
valley, softening the grandeur scene.
“Oh my holiness,”
Serena gasped, bringing her palm to her mouth.
She had
been doing a lot of that today.
Before her
was the most stupendous vista that stretched out for miles north and east, over
forests and meadows, cliffs and soaring domes, and across the many taller
mountains in the distant wilderness areas of the National Park. It made
Inspiration Point look like a cupcake.
A few
meters from Jasper’s right stood an official guide speaking to a group of
Japanese tourists.