The Nurse Who Saved Christmas (13 page)

None of his family had understood that he hadn’t wanted a new start, that he’d wanted his old life, a life that had been snatched away.

A life that had ended on the day his wife and daughter had died. Dirk had buried himself right along with them.

He hadn’t been happy in years. Hadn’t even really wanted to be. He’d preferred to wallow in his grief.

Until Abby.

In moving away, he had started over.

Quite frankly, that had scared the hell out of him. Had put him on the defensive. Had caused mixed emotions to surge. Emotions that made him want to cling to Abby and the hope she gave him. Emotions that made him want to pack up his bags and get out of Dodge. Emotions that had made him hold her at arm’s length, just as she’d nailed him for doing to his family.

But he and Abby had a baby on the way.

A baby.

A precious new life that he and Abby had made.

When she’d fallen into her Christmas village table, he’d only been able to think of her safety, their baby’s safety. Maybe he could have righted the table had he gone for it instead, but all he’d been concerned about had been keeping Abby from falling to the floor.

Because he wanted to keep her safe. Wanted to keep their baby safe.

He’d left when she’d asked him to, seeing she had been too upset to have the talk they needed to have, sensing that the emotions of both of them had been running too high. He’d been fine on his drive home. Fine when he’d walked through the front door. But when he’d crawled into his bed, alone, he’d done what he hadn’t done in years. Not since right after Sandra and Shelby’s accident. He’d been fairly positive there were no tears left inside him. The night the woman and her daughter died in the E.R. had been his first clue he might be wrong. He’d felt a crack in the protective wall that guarded his heart. Making love with Abby had sent a whole lot of bricks tumbling to the ground. Bricks he’d needed to keep himself safe.

But with Abby, she came first. Her and their baby. In that, she’d bulldozed right through the barriers around his heart, leaving him vulnerable.

Leaving him exposed to her warmth. Exposed to needing her. He’d been fighting to keep from making love to her every second they were together but as much as he’d enjoyed the passion they’d shared, he hadn’t enjoyed how much he’d needed her, how connected he’d felt to her, how much he’d hurt if something happened to Abby.

She’d been right about him. He had kept his family at a distance. Had kept them at arm’s length. How could he not? He’d always been the strong one in the family, but after Sandra and Shelby’s deaths, he hadn’t been strong.

He’d hated them seeing him that way.

Hated anyone seeing him that way.

So he’d shut them out.

No wonder they’d held an intervention.

He’d needed one. And more.

He’d needed Abby, so much so that he’d tried to hold her at arm’s length, too, for fear of loving again, of possibly losing that love again.

Need had won out. Need and so much more.

He loved Abby. And wanted to risk holding her and the baby they’d made close to his heart.

But judging by the way she hadn’t returned his calls, had all but ignored him since her arrival at shift change, he might have realized too late.

God, he couldn’t lose Abby. In her, he’d found his salvation. Had found himself again.

If he’d lost her, he had no one to blame except himself. But he refused to accept that she wouldn’t forgive his ignorance.

It was Christmas. A day of miracles. A day meant to be with the ones you loved. Somehow, he’d show Abby he could be the man she and their child needed.

A man who could be whole and start living again.

A man he desperately wanted to be. Abby’s man.

If he had to go to drastic measures to make that happen, then so be it.

I
F EVER
Abby would forgive him, this had to be the way. Hell, he hoped he wasn’t wrong. Otherwise he was going to look like the biggest idiot who’d ever walked the face of the earth.

Which didn’t bother him near as much as the thought of not winning Abby’s forgiveness, of winning her love and trust.

It had taken him several hours to make arrangements for what he wanted to do.

But, finally, here he stood. Most likely she’d already gone to bed, would sleep for several hours.

Maybe it was wrong of him, but Dirk helped himself to the hide-a-key she’d told him where to find on the day he’d knocked and knocked without her answering.

Her house was quiet. Just as he’d expected it to be.

Not even Mistletoe was anywhere to be seen.

Quietly, closing the front door behind him, Dirk set into play what he hoped would show Abby everything in his heart.

“Meow.”

Abby groaned, rubbed her face at where a paw
swatted at her. “Go back to sleep, Mistletoe. Didn’t you get the memo? I’m going to sleep through Christmas this year.”

“Meow.” Another swat at her face.

Abby rolled onto her side, pulled her pillow over her head, hoping to gain a few more minutes of sleep before having to get up and face the reality of another Christmas spent alone.

That’s when she heard another noise.

What was that? Music? Singing?

She stretched, pushing the pillow away from her head and straining to hear.

Definitely Christmas music.

Coming from somewhere in her house.

She had not left music on.

She knew she hadn’t.

Someone was in her house.

Panic squeezed at her throat. Then, climbing out of her bed, she laughed at herself. What? A burglar had broken in and put on Christmas music? Right.

She must still be asleep, be dreaming.

Either that or Dirk had used the hide-a-key and if that was the case, she knew she was dreaming.

Dirk wouldn’t be playing Christmas music.

But apparently someone would. Maybe Danielle had taken pity on her and come over to surprise her.

Tiptoeing down the hallway, Abby rubbed her eyes, certain she wasn’t seeing clearly. Mixed emotions hit her at the sight of the man arranging Christmas packages under her tree.

The man she’d told to get out and not to come back.

How dared he come into her house and, well, whatever it was he was doing?

“I should have you arrested for breaking and entering.”

At the sound of Abby’s voice, Dirk turned from where he worked. Hell, he hadn’t finished with what he’d wanted to do.

Still, he’d made great headway.

“Ho. Ho. Ho.” Yes, he sounded stupid even to himself, but he had a lot riding on this. He’d seen the look in Abby’s eyes, had seen that she’d given up on him. It was going to take a desperate act to win her back. This stunt was about as desperate as desperate got. He wished he’d been able to finish. “You’re not supposed to be out of bed yet.”

Her glare didn’t let up. “You need to leave.”

He’d meant to change into her father’s Santa suit, had meant to give her the kind of Christmas Day she longed for, one like her parents had shared. “I will, but let me finish what I came to do first.”

She crossed her arms over her flannel-pajama-covered chest. She glanced around the room, took in the presents he’d arranged, the Santa suit he had draped across the back of the sofa.

“What are you doing?”

“Delivering presents.” Lots and lots of presents. Packages of various shapes and sizes were brightly wrapped and overflowing beneath the tree. It had cost him a small fortune to hire the personal shoppers to find stores open on Christmas morning, but if you were willing to spend enough, a person could do most anything.
Even do major Christmas shopping on the great day itself.

“Why would you do that? You don’t even like Christmas.” She stood in the doorway, staring at him as if she really had caught Dr. Seuss’s Grinch stealing her Christmas rather than him in jeans and a T-shirt and a bundle of good intentions.

Obviously, he’d become overzealous when he’d turned on the Christmas tunes, thinking she was tired enough that the low music wouldn’t disturb her and she’d sleep a few more hours. He’d just have to go forward as things were and pray for the best, pray for Abby to love him.

“Women aren’t the only ones allowed to change their minds. Apparently I just needed to be reminded of the real meaning of the holiday.”

“Oh, you needed that all right,” she scoffed, eyeing him suspiciously. “So you’ve supposedly changed your mind about Christmas? Why?”

“You.”

“Me?” This time she laughed with a great deal of irony. “I changed your mind about Christmas?”

“You changed my mind about everything, Abby. About life. My life. And the life I want with you.”

This had to work. If Christmas magic didn’t open Abby’s eyes to the man he wanted to be for her, nothing would.

Abby crossed the room, stood next to him, but didn’t sit, just stared at him with her forehead creased. “What about Sandra? Shelby? You still love them.”

“You’d have me not love them?”

“No,” she began hesitantly.

“I realize that part of my life is in the past, Abby.
I’ve accepted that. I’m ready to move on to the future. With you.”

She glanced away, closed her eyes. “That’s too bad, Dirk, because I don’t trust you with my future.”

He winced, but wasn’t ready to admit defeat. Not when he was battling for the most important part of his life.

“Someone once told me that Christmas Day was the most magical day of the year. A day when miracles can happen.” He prayed some of that Christmas magic would shine on him, would help Abby to see how much he loved her. “Trust me, Abby. I won’t let you down. Never again.”

She didn’t say anything for a few moments then met his gaze warily. “How can I believe you? How can I know this isn’t some ploy out of a sense of responsibility because I’m pregnant?”

Dirk’s ribs squeezed his lungs. He’d hoped she’d say that she did trust him with her heart. That she wanted him and wanted to be a family with him and their baby.

Instead she looked at him with distrust shining in her hazel eyes. God, he’d been such a fool. How many times had Abby opened up her heart to him and he’d pushed her away out of fear? Fear of feeling again. Fear of loving and losing that love. Fear of feeling because with feeling came the risk of pain.

But there came a point when a man had to overcome his fears, had to risk that pain, had to risk rejection, because the alternative wasn’t acceptable. Regardless of the risk of pain, not telling Abby the truth wasn’t acceptable.

He took her hand in his. “You’ve had me from the moment we met, Abby. I tried fighting it, but I think I fell for you in the E.R. that first night. I know I wanted you in that instance. And every instance since.”

Her gaze lowered to their interlocked hands, then lifted back to his. “Why are you saying these things? Why now?”

“Because I can’t bear the thought that I might have lost you. Tell me you’ll give me a chance to prove to you that I can be the man of your dreams.”

A tear trickling down her cheek, she closed her eyes. “I didn’t really wake up, did I? I’m still asleep and am dreaming.”

Dirk lifted her hand to his lips, pressed a kiss to her fingertips. “Then don’t wake up quite yet, because this dream is far from over. You have a lot of presents to open.”

As if hearing Dirk say he wanted to be the man of her dreams wasn’t enough to convince Abby that she was dreaming, the number of packages under her tree clinched the deal.

Never in her life had she had so many presents.

But why was he doing this?

Sitting on the floor, she picked up a box, shook it prior to carefully unwrapping it to reveal a beautiful aqua-colored baby blanket.

He’d bought a gift for their baby. For her. God, could he be serious about wanting to share a future?

Running her fingers over the soft, fuzzy material, she lifted her gaze to his. “This is beautiful.”

He reached for the next present and handed it to her.
They repeated the process until she was surrounded with baby items. Some pink. Some blue. Some a mixture of pastels.

“You’ve been busy,” she mused, biting into her lower lip, trying to decipher the meaning behind his gifts.

“I had help, but don’t hold that against me.” He gave a crooked grin. “Even Santa utilizes elves.”

“Ah,” she said, not quite believing he’d gone to so much trouble to bring her Christmas alive, to give her a magical day despite the fact they’d argued the last time they’d really talked, that she’d told him to leave. “Thank you, Dirk. I love everything.”

She did. Not only because these were the first baby items for their child but because they’d come from Dirk. But what did all this mean? Why was he here? Giving her presents?

“Do you, Abby?”

She lifted her gaze to his in question.

“Love everything, that is?”

Abby’s breath caught at the intensity in his blue eyes. At the vulnerability she saw shining there.

No protective walls. No barriers. No hanging on to the past. Just a man asking if she loved him.

A man who she loved with all her heart, but…

Glancing away when she didn’t immediately answer, Dirk scratched his chin. “Um…” His voice broke slightly. “Better let me check my bag. Seems like there might be another present for you.”

Abby wanted to stop him, to explain her pause, to ease what had put that break in his voice, but the moment had passed and she wondered if some of those fallen walls had been re-erected.

“You shouldn’t have.”

“Might not want to shake this one,” he warned, causing Abby’s curiosity to grow as she took the package.

She unwrapped the present, lifted her gaze to his, and caught her breath at what she saw reflected in his eyes.

He hadn’t re-erected any walls, had left his heart bare for her to see, for her to take if she wanted.

She swallowed, glancing back down at the gift in her hands. “I can’t believe you had someone find this for me.”

“Actually, I had this one in my truck on Saturday night,” he explained. “I’d meant to give it to you after our quiet dinner.”

“Only we didn’t have a quiet dinner.” She pulled the piece from the box, carefully removed the protective wrapping, stared in amazement at the antique village piece. A piece that matched her mother’s pieces. How had he known? And that he’d bought it before the crash made it all the more special. He wasn’t trying to replace something he felt responsible for breaking. He was giving her something from the heart, giving her something because he’d known it would mean something to her, would make her happy.

“I love it,” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss his cheek and hoping he couldn’t tell she was choking back tears.

“And I love you, Abby.”

She almost dropped the house. “Dirk?”

“I love you, Abby,” He repeated words sweeter than any melody. “With all my heart. I didn’t think I’d ever love again, that I could ever love. But I do. I love you.
And our baby. Please forgive me. I’ve been such a fool, wasted so much time we could have been together.”

Taking a moment to steady her nerves, she put the house back into its box, took a deep breath. “Tell me again.”

“I’ve been a fool—”

“Not that part,” she interrupted, meeting his gaze, amazed at the emotion reflected there. “Tell me you love me again, Dirk. Please.”

Eyes shining with everything Abby had ever hoped to see in a man’s gaze, he took her hand into his, lifted it to his lips. “I love you, Abby. Completely. Always. For ever.”

“I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around him, leaned in to kiss him, to show him everything in her heart.

But rather than take her into his arms and kiss her, he held her hands and stared into her eyes, looking almost nervous as he slid his hands into a jeans pocket and pulled out a small box, snapped it open. “Marry me, Abby.”

“What?” An earthquake hit right in the pit of Abby’s stomach. One whose aftershocks caused wave after wave of emotion to crash through her.

She stared in awe at the marquis-cut diamond reflecting the multicolored lights from the tree.

“Agree to be my wife. To share your life with me. To share all your Christmases with me. Always.”

Abby couldn’t believe her ears but, looking into his sincere eyes, she knew he was serious, knew he really did love her. No way would Dirk Kelley be pulling that
ring free of its box and slipping it onto the third finger of her left hand otherwise.

She stared down at the ring, at where he held her hand. Could this really be happening?

“What about Sandra? Shelby?” she asked, not quite able to accept that her dreams might be coming true.

“They’ll always be a part of my past, a part of who I am. But you are my future, Abby. You and our baby.”

“I would never ask you to forget them, Dirk.”

“I know you wouldn’t, Abby. That’s just one of the many reasons I love you. That and how you see the good in everything, including a man who’d lost track that there was anything good left in him.”

“There’s so much good in you, Dirk. Anyone who’d ever seen you with a patient would know that.” She brushed her fingers across his cheek.

“But only you saw. Only you believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. All I knew was that from the moment we met I felt different, alive for the first time in years. You put breath back into my dying body, Abby. Say you’ll let me love you always.”

“Yes,” she whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. “Oh, yes, Dirk.”

This time Dirk took her into his arms, kissed her so thoroughly she’d have sworn she must be wearing that halo made of mistletoe, made love to her so thoroughly she’d swear they rocked the Christmas tree.

“Hey, Abs?” Dirk said much later, holding her against him.

“Hmm?”

A sheepish look shone on his face. “Your house wasn’t the only place on Santa’s list.”

Realization hit her and Abby’s heart swelled with love and pride of this wonderful man who’d truly opened his heart. “We’re going to your family’s for Christmas?”