The Old Neighborhood (5 page)

JOLLY
: “Whatever it took, just, if I have to
sign
something, I’ll sign whatever …”

BOB
: … yes.

JOLLY
: “…  and subtract …”

BOB
: … of course …

JOLLY
: “And just give me my ‘portion’
now. (Pause)
And we really
need
it.”
(Pause)
Because we did.

BOB
: … I know you did.

JOLLY
: And he says “no.”
(Pause)
Just “no.”
(Pause)
Just no.

CARL
: She asked him to invade the trust and he said, “No.”
(Pause)

JOLLY
: … Oh. Oh. And it gets better. He didn’t say, “No.” He said … he said, “I am not convinced I would invade the trust if I
could
.”
(Pause)

BOB
: What does that mean?

JOLLY
: Well,
that’s
what it means.
(Pause)
Are you hungry, Carl?

CARL
: A little.

JOLLY
: Mmm. I’ll get it in a minute.

CARL
: All right.
(Pause
,
JOLLY
sighs.)

BOB
: How are you doing, Carl?

CARL
: I’m fine.

BOB
: Holding on?

CARL
: Oh, yeah. I’m holding on.
(Pause)
How about you Bob?
(Pause)

BOB
: You ever get tired of this? You must. It’s the same. Isn’t it? Every year.

CARL
: … it’s the same …

BOB
: … our family.

CARL
: Yes. It’s the same.

BOB
: Don’t you get tired of it?

CARL
: Well, I tell you … 
(Pause)

BOB
: Yes …?

CARL
: It’s what it is, Bob.

JOLLY
: And they made fun of us.

BOB
: They …

JOLLY
: You know they did. Carl and me.
“Jolly …”

BOB
: Uh huh …

JOLLY
: “I’m sure that he’s a fine ‘man,’ Carl …”

BOB
: Uh huh …

JOLLY
: “But ‘we want to say’ …”

BOB
:
(To self)
“We want to say …”

JOLLY
: “Your mother and I want to say …”

BOB
: Well, that was how they were …

JOLLY
:
Wasn’t
it …

BOB
: Yes.

JOLLY
:
Wasn’t
it?

BOB
: Yes.

JOLLY
: And … the shit at Christmas. You know, you know, Marshall Fields …? She would take me to Fields. “What do you think?” Some dress. If I
wanted
the dress, I would have to say “naaaaah.” She would take me back. “I think it rather suits you.” “No, uh … it’s … it’s ‘pretty,’ Mom,
but
 …” And of course, she would
buy
it for me. But if I said, “God, what a gorgeous dress.” Hey. You know what? Hey, you know what I’m going to
tell
you something: “fuck her,
though
she’s dead.”
(Pause)
Fuck
her
, and fuck the
lot
of ’em.

BOB
: … they never loved us.

JOLLY
: They, no, Buub, in their “way” …

BOB
: Jol, Jol, that’s, that’s your
problem …

JOLLY
: What is? What is?

BOB
: I say that I’m gonna sue the cocksucker. You say no. I mean. What in the hell
possesses
a man. To
treat
you like that: Do you see? It’s
cruel
. Jol.
They’re cruel
. They
were
cruel
toward us, and if there’s such a thing as “abuse,” we got it. And
your
problem is …

JOLLY
: I know what my problem is …

BOB
: … your problem …

JOLLY
: I know what my problem is …

BOB
:
Your
problem is: You could not face the fact. They didn’t love you. And that’s your problem. That they did not love us.
(Pause)

JOLLY
: They loved
you
, Buub.

JOLLY
: “If you don’t want it …”

BOB
: “No, no, no, I
like
it.”

JOLLY
: “Waal, if you
don’t
like it, you can take it back.”

BOB
: “Hike it.”

JOLLY
: “Waal. If you
don’t
. If you find …”

BOB
: “No, I
Like
it. I
do
. I think that it’s …”

JOLLY
: “Waal, your mother and I, only want to
say …
”

BOB
: “I think that it’s …”

JOLLY
: “You take it back. We ‘saved the slip’ … and …”

BOB
: … fucking
right
I’m going to take it back. Because what would I
do
with it?

JOLLY
: You remember the skis?

BOB
: The skis.

JOLLY
: I remember the skis. I wanted the skis.
(Pause)
I wanted skis that year.

BOB
: You don’t ski, Jol.

JOLLY
:
Why
don’t I ski? Bobby?
(Pause)
Oh shit.
(Sighs)
I just, you know, the thing of it, the thing of it is, I just wanted some skis. Would it have killed them to’ve given me a pair of skis? Was that so ludicrous? A monster like myself? Was that so … 
(Pause)

BOB
:
(Softly)
 … yes …

JOLLY
: Christmas Day.
(Pause)
Christmas Day.

BOB
: I know.

JOLLY
: She …

BOB
: Wait, wait, I remember.

JOLLY
: You …?

BOB
: I remember …

JOLLY
: You remember what?

BOB
: Christmas Day. A plaid … a … a plaid something.

JOLLY
: A …

BOB
: … that they gave me.

JOLLY
: … yes?

BOB
: A plaid …

JOLLY
: A reversible raincoat.

BOB
: That’s right.

JOLLY
: A reversible raincoat.

BOB
: … what did I do?

JOLLY
: Monday morning. Took it back to Fields.

BOB
: I took it back to Fields.

JOLLY
: And traded it in.

BOB
: That’s right.

JOLLY
: For what?

BOB
: I …? What? No, I’ve forgotten. Oh, my God. Jol. For what, then, a year …?

JOLLY
: … easily … easily …

BOB
: For
a year
. “Where is that raincoat, Bubby …?”

JOLLY
: “…  we gave you for Christmas. That you liked so much?”

BOB
: “I left it at the …” Ah. Ah. Wait. Wait. Jol. Wait, wait, wait. I went back to Fields.

JOLLY
: Um hmm.

BOB
: TO SEE COULD I BUY BACK THAT COAT.

JOLLY
: That’s right.

BOB
: … could I buy back the raincoat.

JOLLY
: That’s right, Buuby.

BOB
: Could I buy back the Fucking Raincoat to stop the questions as to where was the raincoat. That I was so grateful for.

JOLLY
: … that’s right.

BOB
: That stupid raincoat. And that woman at Fields. Sent to fucking
Germany
to see, could they replace that raincoat.

JOLLY
: That’s right, Bobby.

BOB
: And calling her back. And calling her back Thursday, and oh, what a pathetic fucking thing.
(Pause)
My plaid. My Plaid Reversible Raincoat.
(Pause)

JOLLY
: And, you know, I’m thinking, all of this, “If you don’t
like
it, you can take it back …” If they had
loved
us. Mightn’t they have
known
what we might want? I know what
my
kids want.
(Pause)
I know what
my
kids want. It’s not that difficult. It’s Just Not. I’m sorry. Carl says … Carl, say what you will. I’m sorry, every weekend, Every weekend. You know what we
did
last weekend? They had friends sleep over. We made
popcorn
. We made
fudge
. Next morning we made
pancakes
. You know, you know, I turned into a fine cook.

BOB
: I know you did.

JOLLY
: No, I mean, you ain’t seen
nothing
here …

BOB
: It was fantastic …

JOLLY
: I mean a
fine
cook.

BOB
: Jol, I had the dinner …

JOLLY
: That was nothing.

BOB
: No. It was fantastic.

JOLLY
: No, I mean, Carl, you know, I wanted to do it, for him …

BOB
: … uh huh …

JOLLY
: Because before
Carl you
know …

BOB
: Uh huh …

JOLLY
: Before
Carl
 … I …

BOB
: I remember, Quiche Soup …

JOLLY
: … I couldn’t Drop an Egg.

BOB
: Uh huh …

JOLLY
: Why
should
I …? Hummm?
She
never taught me … She never taught me a
thing
 … I’m in here, the girls.
Every night
 … Every Night I’m in here …

BOB
: I saw them.

JOLLY
: And they’re learning to cook.

BOB
: I know.

JOLLY
: You see, Bob? Do you see? This is a
family. (Pause) And some day
, Bob. I’m going to be dead. Some day,
they
are going, they are going to be in a kitchen. And they’re going to say. To their girls … “
My
mom …”
(Pause)
Because this is a Family. You see? “My mom used to do it this way.”
(Pause)
“This is what my mom taught me.”
(Pause)
And every weekend. We had a four-hour session of, we played
Monopoly
. We, God forgive us, we went
bowling
, we …

BOB
: … the kids seem so …

JOLLY
: … we rented a
film
we thought they and their friends would enjoy. And Carl, God bless that man, do you hear?

BOB
: Yes.

JOLLY
: God
bless
him. And they’d say: “Jol:
Jolly
. We, waaal, he just …” And “We don’t feel …”

BOB
: Uh huh …

JOLLY
: “Your mother and I. ‘Just Don’t Feel’ that
Carl
is the Right Sort.”

BOB
: Mmm.

JOLLY
: The Right Sort. The right fucking sort. Huh? For who? For a piece of shit like me. For a piece of shit they
despised
. Like me.

BOB
: … mmm …

JOLLY
: Am I wrong? For us. And what in the world gave them that right? Who never thought a
moment
of my happiness …? Eh? And the
finest
and the
best man
, and he
loved
me, you understand? That was the thing, do you see, that disqualified him, Bob. He loved me. That was what they hated, Bob. For how could a man who loved
me
be any good? BUT WHOSE MARRIAGE WORKED—
(Pause)
WHOSE MARRIAGE WORKED? Out of the
pack
of them. Three generations. And I don’t mean you, Buub …

BOB
: No, I …

JOLLY
: No, I don’t mean you. I mean of them. Who Had the Marriage That Worked? And it’s been, what has it been, “easy”?

BOB
: No.

JOLLY
: You are Fucking in Hell
Right
it hasn’t. And, you know. When we thought we would have to move. Out of
work
. And she’d come, “Mom” … She’d come to see us … “Mom” … 
(Pause)

BOB
: It’s okay, Jol.
(Pause)
It’s okay.
(Pause)
It’s okay, Jol.

JOLLY
: Gimme a cigarette.
(Pause. He gives her one.)
I can’t smoke these.

BOB
: Break the filter.

JOLLY
: I can’t smoke these.

BOB
: Yes, you can.
(She smokes.)

JOLLY
: When we were moving. We Had No Cash, Buub.

BOB
: I know.
(Pause)

JOLLY
: And she would come
(Pause)
And I’d say, “Mom … you know …” she’d first, she’d say, “What do the kids need?” And I’d say “Shoes. They need shoes.”
(Pause)
Well,
you
know how kids …

BOB
: I know …

JOLLY
: … grow out of shoes.

BOB
: I know.

JOLLY
:
You
know what they cost …

BOB
: Yes.

JOLLY
: Uh huh. “The Kids Need Shoes.” The end of her stay, she would give them, God bless her, these, two,
incredibly
expensive, what are they, “vanity” sets. A desk. A desk to put on makeup … a “vanity set”?

BOB
: … I don’t know …

JOLLY
: And I would say … 
Carl
would say “forget about it.” I … I’d say … No. “Mom … Mom …”
(Pause)
“Mom …” And the fucking
skis
. The
Christmas
skis. One thousand generations we’ve been Jews. My mother marries a sheigetz and we’re celebrating Christmas.

BOB
: … hey.

JOLLY
: … huh?

BOB
: Mockeys with a Mistletoe …

JOLLY
: Isn’t it …

BOB
: Yes. It is.
(Pause)

JOLLY
: Jingle Bells.
(Pause)
Ah, what the hell.
(Pause)
And The Big Present.
(Pause)

BOB
: I remember.

JOLLY
: I’m sure that you do.

BOB
: The Big Present.

JOLLY
: “Waal, we’ve opened
everything …
”

BOB
: “Oh,
wait
a second … ‘What Is That Behind the Door.’ ”

JOLLY
: And the fucking skis year it was this expensive, this, Red Leather Briefcase. And I was behaving badly. I was behaving oh so badly. And the one time in my life I said “no.” And I said “no.” God
knows
where I got the courage. I said
no
. And I was “behaving hysterically.” I got sent to my room. And “why must I ruin these occasions?”

BOB
: Why did you ruin those occasions, Jol?

JOLLY
: Well, that’s right. I
ruined
them … I
ruined
them … because I was an Ungrateful Child. Why did
you
ruin them, Buub?

BOB
: Because I was an ungrateful child.

JOLLY
: I know that you were.
(Pause)
You know, and I
carried
, I had to
carry
that fucking red briefcase for three or four years, all day, every day, full of books, These Are Your Skis. Did I tell you …

BOB
: What?

JOLLY
: I had a dream about her.

BOB
: About Mom …

JOLLY
: Uh huh.
(Pause)
I’ll tell you later. Can I tell you later. You know, because, what was I saying?
(Pause)
Hm …

BOB
: The Red Briefcase.

JOLLY
: Yes.
(Pause)
You know, the girls. So adore having you here.

BOB
: It’s good to be here.

JOLLY
: You … it’s good of you to come.

BOB
: Jol …

JOLLY
: No, I know that …

BOB
: Jol, I’ve been, well
fuck
“remiss.” … It’s been criminal of me not to …

JOLLY
: I know. You’ve got a Busy Life …

BOB
: No, I’ve just …

JOLLY
: Buub …

BOB
: Hey, I’ve been
lazy
. I’m sorry. I
owe it
to you. I’ve been …

JOLLY
: … and I know it’s been a difficult time for you, Buub … 
(Pause)

BOB
: And so I came here to get Comfort.

JOLLY
: Times of stress, you …

BOB
: Isn’t that “selfish” of me …?

JOLLY
: … times of stress, you … We need comfort. You think that you can do without it? You can’t.
(Pause)
You can’t, Bob.
(Pause)
No one … 
(Pause)
Carl and I … you know, many times … 
(Pause)

BOB
: How are you getting on?

JOLLY
: We’re
(Pause)
Hey, what the fuck are you going to expect. From the Sort of a Background That We Come From. It’s a miracle that we can Wind our Watch.
(Pause)
That’s what Carl said about you. And, you know … how
good
you’re doing.

BOB
: He said …

JOLLY
: He said that he knows. How incredibly
difficult
this has been for you, and he thinks that you are doing, that he thinks that you are doing well. And
that’s
the man, you understand … that’s the man they
made fun
of. That they said “wasn’t good enough for me.”
(Pause) Fuck
them. Fuck the
lot
of them.
(Pause)
And carried that fucking
bookbag
around for three years.
(Pause)
What are you gonna do?