The One That Got Away (20 page)

B
y midnight the crowd at the Westin Michigan Avenue had finally thinned. Standing at the entranceway to the private ballroom they had reserved, Tony stood shoulder to shoulder with Larry, Audrey, and Arthur Champion. A small crowd of local VIPs surrounded each of them. Just about every one had been bowled over by Rowan Academy's success, with most now promising to help bring the Rowan “magic” to the Windy City.

By the time the three younger executives' crowds had disappeared, a throng of well-wishers and ass-kissers still surrounded Champion. As their in-house celebrity continued with the handshaking and backslapping, Tony collapsed into a chair at the nearby table where Larry and Audrey had settled.

“Damn, Gooden,” Larry roared, popping Tony's back. “You proved me wrong tonight. I never would have expected this type of reaction, not here. Figured folk here had already seen what a place like Rowan has to offer.”

“What did I tell you?” Tony shook his head playfully and grinned at Audrey, who sat on the other side of Larry. “This man's sold me short since day one, hasn't he? You remember when he hated on me for turning down his first job offer?”

Audrey chuckled, then wiggled an index finger toward Tony. “Come here, fella. Need to ask you something.”

Tony met Larry's curious glance, then crossed his legs coolly before smiling at Audrey. “Why don't you ask me now? Why I gotta move?”

“Never mind,” Audrey replied, her voice a breathy sigh. “I guess it's not important.”

Tony knew the exact question on her mind:
Why you sitting all the way over there?
It was a fair question, considering that he and Audrey had technically been dating for nearly a month now. They hadn't done the old pound-pound with each other yet, weren't yet fully intimate, but platonic friendship was definitely in the rearview mirror. Whatever you could call what they had, though, it was still under the radar. While his boss had been the first one to point him toward their fellow colleague, Tony wasn't ready to hip Larry to things quite yet.

Before Tony could recover from Audrey's scolding, Larry clapped his hands together. “All right, good people,” he said, scanning his employees' weary faces. “Doesn't look like Arthur's gonna be freed up anytime soon. You all want a nightcap? We head back to the hotel right now, I'll treat on a couple more drinks.” While the Westin had offered the best deal on facilities and catering for tonight's dinner, Tony had convinced Larry to put everyone up at the Hilton Garden Inn, a black-owned property a few blocks down Michigan.

Saying their good nights to Champion, the three of them piled into a cab. Back at the Hilton's bar they knocked back adult beverages for another half hour before riding the elevator to the floor they all shared.

As Audrey stepped off, heading right as the men turned left, she looked over her shoulder. “Good night, guys.” She addressed them both, but her eyes rested solely on Tony.

As Larry grunted a weary good night, Tony opted for silence but kept his eyes glued first to Audrey's luminous gaze, then to her voluptuous form as she strode down the opposite hallway.

Five minutes later he stood outside her room. She answered
just as his knuckles hit the door, as if she'd had him timed to the second. As she pulled the door back, Tony's eyes swelled in their sockets. Already attired in something a little more comfortable, she stood draped in a white silk robe, one whose plunging neckline revealed a full, unrestrained bosom.

“Oh,” she said, her tongue flicking playfully between her teeth, “you want to be around me now, do you?”

As he shut the door behind himself, he stood toe-to-toe with her. Nearly swaggering with pride in her seductive abilities, she brushed closer to him. “Oh, you're still uncomfortable. Tony, I know you don't want to move too fast, but I don't get it. I know you want me, you just don't
want
to want me.”

Standing there engulfed in Audrey's beauty, her scent, Tony felt freer than he had in years. The weights holding him back from her these past months had lost their hold on him. Maybe he'd never be happy about missing his chance with Serena, but that didn't mean he didn't have other sources of joy in his life.

Without using a word to defend himself, he pulled Audrey up against him and began tracing a hand over her face, taking time to appreciate every curve, every faint scar, the very warmth of the blood vessels beneath her skin. As she let her robe fall to the floor, he took the same liberty with her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her legs. By the time they began kissing and maneuvering toward her bed, Tony was more levelheaded than he'd ever been before sex.

The night was endless, kinetic. He was still rusty and “completed his mission” too quickly in the first two rounds, but the simple fact that he recovered three additional times more than made up for it. For her part, Audrey was more quiet than Tony had preferred in the old days—nothing fed the ego more than a lover's unrestrained gasp or curse word—but by the third round the frenzied looks on her face made up for it.

It was five minutes after three when they collapsed against each other into a sweat-soaked sleep. His body worn, his brain fuzzy, Tony heard Audrey's soft snores—thank God they were soft; he didn't need an excuse to question his decision—and asked himself what he'd been running from since the day they'd met.

What more do I need?
At thirty-two, he was closer to forty than to twenty, barreling toward middle age, and lying next to him was a woman of beauty, wit, intelligence, and ambition who had the spirit of a compassionate warrior. He hadn't come to the decision formally, but as he clicked off the lamp on his side of the bed, he knew that he'd slept with Audrey only after deciding to give things a go. A few more weeks at this pace, and he might be ready to unveil their romance, and not just to Larry. He was ready for a relationship, one that might put him on the path to marriage, kids, and the type of future he'd once scorned. Only one obstacle to that gateway remained.

Throwing back the covers, he slipped out of bed and felt his way through the dark room until he came to the pile of clothes heaped outside Audrey's bathroom. Grabbing his suit jacket, he slid inside the restroom and shut the door behind him. With the overhead light on, he rustled through the jacket's pockets until he'd retrieved his cell phone. “Not exactly a convenient time to call,” he said to the empty room, “but if not now, when?” Scrolling through his phone's address book, Tony fought every indication of nerves, denying the warmth of his brow, the sandy taste in his mouth, the queasiness leaking into his stomach. For years he'd laughed at, even pitied men who subjected themselves to psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists. His promise to Zora on his mind, his bubbling adoration of Audrey feeding him, he left a curt voice mail for the therapist his sister had suggested.

O
n Serena's first night apart from Dawn since she'd once again become a single parent, a stranger knocked on her door at five minutes to midnight.

Unable to sleep well in the weeks since Jamie had stormed out with Sydney in tow, Serena had been wide awake, in the midst of reading J. California Cooper's new novel. When she heard the stranger's knuckles beat against the door of her hotel room, she quizzically threw back her covers and stepped to the peephole. When she saw Levi Little, one of her dozen fellow colleagues on this work retreat, a growl stirred Serena's throat.

Her boss, Dr. Kellogg, had sequestered his top executives and the school board at Hueston Woods State Park for the next two days, all in the name of hashing out the upcoming year's strategic plan. Serena had pretty much sleepwalked her way through today's sessions, including the one she led. She didn't have it in her to present a false face these days; she was doing well just to show up.

For every one of the sixteen nights since Jamie and Sydney had moved in with Fritz, her wearying bedtime routine consisted of two nearly schizophrenic activities: boxing (usually just verbally) with Dawn, followed by a bedtime phone call devoted to soothing poor Sydney's rattled nerves.

Although Dawn's grade point average had increased and her teachers praised her for an improved attitude, the child had taken careful note of her parents' distress and was happily exploiting it for her own sake. With each day her requests for “freedom” grew more indignant. Serena had nearly put her into a headlock after last night's jibe: “Mom, why don't you worry about me when you get your own act straight, okay?” She was considering buying a book she'd heard about, something about ways to discipline your kid without leaving a mark.

Tempted as she was, Serena knew she couldn't react to her older child's taunts with anything more than stern words and cringe-inducing, strategically placed pinches. On top of her father and sister's relocation, another inescapable shake-up overshadowed Dawn's world: Glenn was getting ready to dump her.

It wasn't official yet. The two still talked on the phone almost daily and planned to attend an upcoming Sadie Hawkins dance at school. With all that going on, though, Dawn was convinced her lockdown status was a poor match for Glenn's needs. While Glenn's freedom under his new foster father—Tony—was more limited than it had ever been before, the boy still had roving time every day, from the hour when school let out until Tony picked him up from football practice. With Dawn sidelined, Serena couldn't deny her daughter's logic: it was just a matter of time before Glenn would move on to the next hook-up, some girl whose single parent (or guardian, weary grandparent, or foster parent) didn't care enough to restrict his access to her.

Although she felt it was for the best, Serena knew Dawn was hurting and would suffer the pain for a good while; her child was a rebel, but that didn't make her callous enough to be unfazed by the impending loss of her first lover. When Glenn dropped the final bomb, Serena would be prepared. If she was anything like her momma, Dawn would lash out while struggling to absorb the blow.

Sydney, for her part, was confused and full of a quivering sense of betrayal. Every night she hit Serena with the same questions: “When will Daddy and I get to come back home?” “What
happened
this
time, Mommy?” “Why can't we all just be happy?” Night after night, Serena would patiently explain things in terms her baby could process, then bite her lip as Sydney whimpered on the other end of the line before dropping off to sleep.

With all that riding her back, Serena didn't have the energy to finesse her reaction to Levi. Her lithium and a constant regimen of good sleep, a nutritious diet, and regular exercise had held her hypomanias at bay, but with the pressures of her crumbling marriage she struggled at times to keep her spirits up.
This nigga,
she thought, weighing what to do with her unwelcome visitor. She'd thought the admittedly handsome security director had forgotten all about her. His daily visits to her office had pretty much trickled down to monthly occurrences until last week, when he'd suddenly come sniffing around again. And now he was here, at an hour too inappropriate for words. She placed a palm against her side of the door, considered just going to bed and shutting off the lights, but a sudden anger ripped through her and she unbolted the door, whipping it open. “What?”

The stretch velour of his Adidas sweat suit lying nicely atop his muscled, athletic build, Levi slid his hands into his pants pockets. After running his tongue across his top teeth, he cleared his throat and leaned forward, resting a hand against her door frame. “You want me to go back to my room?” His voice was low, his tone a swirl of gruff assurance and passive sensitivity.

As a girl and as a single woman, Serena had experienced many of these moments: a dark hallway, a furtive visit from a confident brother poised to move in for the kill. There had been some unwelcome advances along the way, most of which she'd successfully stifled, but in most cases the brothers' confidence had been rewarded, and it was clear Levi Little believed his would, too.

Shaking her head, Serena stepped back from the door's threshold, the shame of the moment hitting her before she reminded herself that she'd never encouraged any of this. When an increasingly eager Levi actually crossed the threshold, a smug grin on his face, she let him follow her back toward her king-sized bed.

Behind her, she heard him click the door closed after himself.
“What we do here, Serena, will stay here,” he was saying in a near-whisper. “I don't believe in airing a lady's dirty laundry—”

Her back to him, Serena arrived at the bed and dove forward. As she lay with her legs splayed, her hand groping toward the nightstand on the other side, she heard Levi's confident exhalation. “That's perfect,” he said. “Don't move. Levi's coming right over.”

“Well, hold on one second.” Her cell phone secured in hand, Serena flipped onto her back and sat up just that quick, her legs crossed in front of her. She punched an option from her speed dial and held the receiver to her mouth. “I want to share your little unwelcome visit with Dr. Kellogg,” she said, winking. “I bet he gets a real kick out of it, the security director showing up at midnight to get in my pants.”

“Hey, hey, hold the hell on here!” As if she'd poked his naked genitals with hot coals, Levi danced and hopped back toward her doorway, his right hand extended as if fending off a knife. “Put the phone down, Serena,” he shouted, his voice now sounding like Prince doing a falsetto. “Please!”

Serena snapped the phone shut just as Dr. Kellogg's voice mail greeting clicked on. “Do you get the message now, Levi?”

“You know,” he said, licking his lips and grabbing the door handle, “all you had to do was tell me you weren't interested. Damn! Don't act like you haven't been checking me out since the day I started working downtown.”

Serena stood, arms crossed. A small part of her felt guilty for being so harsh with Levi. “Even if that's true, it never meant I wanted you to come proposition me.”

Hand still gripping the doorknob, Levi nearly grinned, though wounded anger was still deep in his eyes. “You thought about me every now and then, didn't you?”

Serena felt her eyes examine the floor's carpet fibers before replying, “Yes. But thinking was all I was ever going to do, Levi. Sexually, you were as real to me as Lil' Kim or Beyoncé is to you.”

“Well, hell,” Levi said, chuckling dryly. “On the occasional lonely night, those two ladies seem pretty damn real to me, for a few minutes at least.”

Serena smiled, hoping to further diffuse the tension between them. “Too much information, my friend.” She flashed a tentative smile. “Hear that term, ‘friend'? I'd like to mean it the next time I refer to you. I do think you're cool people, if that means anything.”

“I got plenty of friends with benefits, if you know what I mean,” Levi replied, shrugging. “Won't kill me to have one who's strictly business. For the record,” he said, lowering his eyes, “my timing tonight wasn't random. I figured after your boy's latest move, you'd be uniquely up for some company.”

A wave of calm washed over Serena, with the exception of an intense tingling in the fingertips of her left hand. “Now, Levi, I'm all for being cool, but I'm definitely not ready to talk about my marital problems with you.” She bit her lower lip, ready for him to get lost. She'd made a mistake lowering the tension before. She knew that the grapevine had probably circulated some distorted version of her latest separation from Jamie, but she had no interest in correcting the misinformation of gossips.

“I totally feel you,” Levi said, turning back toward the door. His back still facing her, he inhaled before saying, “I'm just curious, tell me to go to hell if you don't want to answer, but I have to ask. How long did you know about your hubby's kid?”

Serena grabbed her cell phone again. “Damn, Levi. Do I have to call Kellogg again?”

Levi swung the door open. “Okay, message received.”

Unable to fight the sudden rush of questions cascading inside her head, Serena snapped before she could stop herself. “Shut the door!”

Levi complied, then eased back around to face her, an eyebrow raised mischievously. “Second thoughts?”

Serena strode up to him, planted fists against her hips. “How the hell did you hear about his child?” The one thing she'd counted on was Jamie's discretion about Andrea and his mother. Although Angelita had come into town with Andrea several times the past few months, in search of the best medical treatment Jamie could afford for the little boy, Jamie had promised Serena he
would limit any mention of them. It was the one way he could show respect for his wife and their two children. Serena had never stood in the way of providing for Andrea's health care—hell, she had actually lent Jamie nearly three thousand dollars for that very purpose—but she didn't care to be publicly embarrassed by the fruit of her husband's adultery. Her public dignity had taken yet another hit.

By now, Levi had backed himself up against the door, his hands raised as if Serena had told him to choose between his money or his life. “I'm a security professional, Serena! I make a living finding out things people don't want found out, or concealing the very same facts for others.”

“That's not good enough,” Serena said, reaching up and wadding the collar of his T-shirt between her right fist.

“Look,” Levi said, a sympathetic look in his eyes, “I only asked how long you knew because you don't seem like the type of sister to take a brother fooling around on you. I mean, you have it all: brains, beauty, sass, self-confidence. I'd have expected you to kick him to the curb a long time ago.”

Serena shook her head slowly, fighting off a snicker. “Boy, you really don't know me, do you?”

Sighing, Levi slid his hands back into his pockets, letting his shoulders slump with relief. “Here's all I know. Your husband apparently signed a lease to move the lady—Angelita—and the little boy into my sister's apartment building. She works in the management office, recognized Jamie's name on the application, started asking some questions, and . . . bingo.”

When her interrogation of the now undersexed, humiliated security director was finished, Serena shut the door after him and returned to bed. Climbing back underneath the covers, she was determined to enjoy Ms. California Cooper's novel, but knew she was kidding herself.
I know this son of a bitch isn't moving his “family on the side” to Cincinnati, I just know he's not.
She didn't want to believe it, but Levi had been full of knowledge and details that rang true. The sad thing was, Serena realized she didn't know her husband well enough to even guess at his real motivation. Was this a
sincere attempt to connect with Andrea, whose health had steadily improved in recent months? Or was it just mean-spirited payback for Serena's night with Tony?

Laying the novel aside and turning out the lights, she let a hand travel over her breasts, then down between her legs. She'd have plenty of time to discern the truth; in the meantime, if she was still paying for her night with Tony, she may as well milk it for all it was worth. The dark surrounding her, she closed her eyes and fantasized that Tony was here, and not just physically. No, as she slowly stirred herself to life, Serena invoked the very essence of her first love—the clear, slightly high-pitched tone of his voice, the smell of his favorite cinnamon gum on his breath, the scent of his Polo cologne, and the courageous confidence he filled her with every time they'd made love. Liquid heat bubbling deep within her center, Serena plunged into the world she wished she'd never left behind.