The One That Got Away (34 page)

‘You thought I’d what?’ he snaps, frowning. ‘So what if I have been keeping an eye on things? You’ve not exactly been keeping
me in the fucking loop, have you? I come to yours the Wednesday I get back to sort it all because you’re still dithering around
– only to find you’ve apparently already told him! One minute you’re ringing
me and crying down the phone to, quote “let you live your life” … the next you’re in tears at the window, he gets back and
I hear arguing! Then the next few days you are getting rid of the car, you are both off work … OK – I think – they’re splitting
up. At last. Give her some space to get it all done … but then
still
you don’t call. And
still
he doesn’t actually go. I mean, what the fuck? How do you think that made me feel?’ He leans in towards me and instinctively
I jerk back. ‘I tried to call you countless times and you didn’t pick up.’

‘I had to give my phone back. I lost my job,’ I say, dazed.

‘Yeah, I worked that out eventually, thanks,’ he says irritably. ‘
Two weeks
I wait for you to contact me and tell me what we are going to do. I’m not saying I wasn’t pleased that you told him, but
I’ve been going out of my mind Molly. I honestly don’t remember you being this unpredictable, you’ve changed, you really have.
I’ve got responsibilities! I know they’re not my kids, but Daisy and Millie are my stepkids, and Christmas is a big deal to
them. I didn’t know whether I was going to be there or not, or what! On Christmas Eve I had to tell Helen I had to work late
so I could come and check on you –
Christmas Eve
! She went fucking mental, do you know how hard that was for me to pull off ?’

I stare at him open mouthed, I’m simply stunned by what I’m hearing … hang on, didn’t he say one of her daughters was called
Amanda?

‘I get to your house and your bloody front door is
wide open. I was terrified, I thought he’d done you in or something! I’m checking your house over and then you get back with
him like there’s nothing wrong and it’s all happy families again! Do you even know what that did to me? Hearing you two like
that?’

He is starting to look very angry indeed and some instinct tells me to stay completely quiet.

‘I go all the way home again,’ he gestures violently, ‘give the kids Christmas … the day after Boxing Day, I drive
all
the way back down again – and it’s all gone off! You’ve being taken to your mum’s by Joss and Bec, he’s nowhere to be seen
… I ring the bell at your parents’ and your dad tells me it’s “not a good time right now” for you …’ He snorts incredulously.
‘Oh, but I’M just having a peachy one Mr Baxter, don’t you FUCKING worry about me! … You know what I resorted to then?’ He
challenges me and I give a frightened shake of my head.

‘I’m
thirty-five years old
Molly and I climbed into your parents’ garden to try and get to your bedroom window so I could throw some stones up and get
your attention. Can you even hear how ridiculous that sounds? But the best bit is your dad coming charging out with some pack
of bloody baying wolves! I had to leg it before he called the police! I know I love you but Jesus Christ, woman!’ he shouts.

My hands fly to my mouth.

‘Exactly. Beginning to get it now?’ he says, completely misunderstanding my reaction. ‘I’ve practically
lived
in
my car in Brighton for the last month – all this, for you.’

‘It was you?’ Tears rise to my eyes as I stare at him. ‘You were at my mum and dad’s house. You bastard!’ I shriek and fly
at him, raining a flurry of fists down on him.

Thrown, he has to quickly scramble to catch my arms, holding on around my wrists.

‘My dad had an aneurysm. He
died
!’ I cry.

Leo pales. ‘That’s not funny.’

My legs give way and my body weight dragging down nearly pulls him over with me, one of my wrists slips away from him. ‘Stand
up,’ he orders quickly under his breath. ‘People are looking. Stand up NOW!’

‘Do you even know what you’ve done?’ I pull my other arm free. ‘Get away from me!’

He swallows worriedly. ‘He really died? I’m sorry.’

‘You’re
sorry
?’ I can barely whisper.

‘But aneurysms are just there, aren’t they? Anything can set them off.’ He runs his fingers through his hair in agitation.
‘I was trying to make sure you were all right, I was trying to look after you.’ He takes a small pace left, then back to me.
‘That’s what all of this has been about. You need someone to take care of you. We’re meant for each other Molly. You must
see that now, surely?’ He bites his lip anxiously.

We’re meant for each other are we? So who was Amanda and why was he fishing around on that dating website? I realise that
I was just the unlucky one whose
number came up, the most promising lead … I left the door wide open and he sauntered on in and began to wind everything tighter
and tighter.

‘You’re mad,’ I say slowly. ‘You need help Leo. This is obsessive, it’s—’

‘No it’s
not
,’ he says, instantly irritable again, stopping dead still and facing me. ‘If you don’t think we’re meant to be together why
did you contact me out of the blue like that?’

‘It was just one of those random things! One of those stupid things you do!’

He flushes angrily. ‘There’s no such thing as random. Every action has a reaction. Everything happens for a reason.’ I can’t
tell if he really believes that or not, or if he’s just told himself that’s how it is.

‘I’m sorry.’ I realise I’m only making him more irate. ‘I should never have done it. If I gave you the wrong idea, I’m sorry.
But Leo, I don’t want to be with you! I’ve lost everything and I still don’t, can’t you see that?’

He doesn’t seem to hear me. ‘Talking of actions, I take it you’ve done it?’ he nods back towards the clinic. ‘You’ve got rid
of it?’

I gasp.

‘I Googled the address,’ he says simply, ‘when I saw you go in. I know what you were there for. Have you done it? They wouldn’t
tell me … it’s sensible though. That would be an unnecessary complication too far, to say the very least. You can’t – as you
quite rightly said to me at the hotel – have much fun with babies in tow.
Particularly when,’ he concludes acidly, ‘they’re someone else’s.’

And it’s that which makes me think I can see a way out of all of this. It occurs to me in a split second and I seize it.

‘What makes you think it’s not yours?’ I say quickly, taking a step back away from him. ‘And what makes you think I’ve “got
rid of it”.’ A baby is the last thing he wants. I know it is.

‘Oh?’ he says dangerously. ‘It’s mine, is it?’

‘Yes – it is,’ I say determinedly. ‘And you know what Leo? Like I said, I’ve got nothing else to lose now, and I still don’t
want you. But you know what?’ I pause and try to think quickly … ‘If you don’t swear to me that I will never lay eyes on you
again, if you don’t walk away from me right now, I’ll come and I’ll find you. I’ll tell Helen about this baby – and then you’ll
lose everything too. You’ll be left with
nothing
.’

A muscle begins to flex furiously in his jaw as he looks at me in silence. Trying to weigh up if I’m serious or not? Well
I am.

‘From what you told me at the hotel, I seem to remember Helen is rather practised at getting her pound of flesh from ex-husbands
– and good for her.’

‘So it’s definitely my baby then, is it?’ he says, eyes glinting. He seems not to have heard what I just said. ‘You’re really,
really sure about that, are you?’ His voice is getting louder. It throws me for a moment. ‘Yes, of course I am!’ I say, more
bravely than I feel.

‘Well, that’s So. Very. Interesting,’ he pretends to look as if he’s pondering a real puzzler, while clearly simmering with
repressed rage. ‘I wonder how
that
happened, seeing as we last had sex five years ago.’

Everything just stops.

I can see his chest rising and falling he’s breathing so hard. He’s gone bright red in the face but looks utterly triumphant.
I can see him thinking how much smarter he is than
everyone else
. In his complete arrogance, all he can think is how dare I be mad enough to try and get one over on HIM?

‘But at the hotel …’ I feel like I’m being sucked into a huge whirlpool. I saw the wrapper, we talked on the phone …

Ooooooooohhhhhh my God … that’s the reason I can’t remember it?

Nothing actually happened?

‘You made it up?’ I whisper. ‘You made the whole thing up?’

‘What kind of man would have sex with a woman who’s unconscious?’ he spits back, dodging my question.

What kind of man? I think of going to the doctor’s, the morning-after pill, the GUM clinic, the constant fear, the tears,
the work do where Dan hit Pearce, losing my job, Dan’s face in the car park when he shouted ‘Who is he?’, my DAD! None of
it needed to happen. None of it.

‘You blackmailed me with something that never happened?’ It’s all too much to take in. ‘Why?’

He just shrugs. ‘You were freaking out, acting like we
were never going to see each other again. I had to do something to buy some time. That’s not blackmail.’

He is crazed. And suddenly I even begin to doubt that he had nothing to do with my passing out completely at the hotel. ‘Did
you give me something? Something that made me unconscious?’

He laughs, looks back at me blankly and shrugs, like maybe, maybe not, but he can’t be bothered to tell me.

‘You set it all up, you made me believe that we’d had sex – you emotionally blackmailed me!’ I can barely get my words out.
‘Do you have any idea of how serious that is? I should go to the police!’

‘Police?’ he scoffs. ‘What are you talking about? For the last time, that’s
not
blackmail!’

‘I’ve still got your texts,’ I lie quickly. ‘All of them. The doctor I saw the day after? That’s all documented. I have plenty
of evidence.’

‘It would be your word against mine.’ He sounds a little less sure though.

‘Except you’ve been following me too. Somewhere, someone will have got you on a camera. It looks like you’re on that one right
now.’ I point up, it has swivelled right round and is watching us intently. ‘How could you do this to me?’ I’m actually asking
him. I’m stunned. I really do not know this man any more.

He hesitates, and as he does, there is a screech of tyres further up the street that makes us both glance in the direction
of the noise. The door to a black cab flings open and Dan, dressed in work clothes, jumps out.
He thrusts something through the driver’s window and then looks around him frantically. He sees me and shouts, ‘Molly!’ He’s
come to me, for no other reason than I called him and I needed him.

‘Shit!’ I hear Leo mutter and I turn to look at him. He’s just staring at Dan running towards us, then he looks right back
at me and his gaze suddenly seems to turn blank, his face becomes completely vacant. He takes a step closer to me and I see
him reach his hand into his pocket, but then we both jump as a very sudden and loud siren wails. A police car has turned into
the road and is roaring up to us. It jerks to a stop, the doors open and two uniformed men jump out, rushing straight up to
Leo. It all happens very fast. ‘Sir, I’m going to need to ask you who you are,’ one of them is saying. ‘Can I see some identification
please?’

Dan is next to me, gathering me into his arms, almost pulling me completely off my feet. ‘You’re all right! Thank God.’ He
looks sick with relief. ‘I thought you’d been hurt – I had to get to you. Oh thank God.’ He squeezes me again. ‘I’ve never
heard you cry like that – it was horrible. What’s going on?’ He continues worriedly. ‘Who’s that bloke,’ he nods at Leo, ‘and
why are the police here?’

‘Do I have to give you my name?’ Leo is saying, looking first at Dan then at me, I think attempting a tacit acceptance of
my now expired deal. I cannot believe what he has done, it’s barely sinking in, the enormity of it all.

The officer frowns. ‘Well, could you explain what you’re doing here, please?’

‘I—’ Leo exhales tightly. ‘I saw this woman,’ he motions to me, ‘on the street in some distress. I came up to ask her if she
was OK and she fainted.’ He looks at me and waits. I am too numb to say a thing.

‘Right,’ says the officer as he glances up at the clinic security camera. I think he’s about to ask me if that’s all true,
but in fact he turns back to Leo. ‘Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to turn out your pockets please.’

Leo says nothing, but looks straight at me – not breaking his gaze once – as he turns out his wallet, his phone and a weird-looking
plastic handle.

Dan protectively pulls me to him again although I don’t understand why. I can feel his heart thudding.

None of it happened?
Can I even believe that? Leo might have drugged me. Am I ever going to know what really happened in that hotel room?

The other police officer has already stepped forward and taken the thick bit of plastic from Leo and then I hear the first
say, ‘Sir, I am arresting you for carrying an offensive weapon. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence
if you do not mention when questioned something you may later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.
Do you understand?’

Leo says nothing. They start to take him over to the police car.

‘Dan?’ I’m completely confused and don’t really understand what is happening. ‘It was just a handle.’

‘Molly, it was a flick knife. You push a button and the blade springs out.’

I whip back round in horror and look at the police car door closing on Leo.

He was carrying a knife? He knew I was pregnant and he was
carrying a knife
?

My ex – the one who nearly was.

‘Shit!’ Dan is clearly shaken. He hasn’t let go of me and I don’t think he’s going to either. ‘He just walked up to you in
the street?’

I swallow, beginning to feel lightheaded. ‘Dan … there’re some things I need to tell you …’

He looks almost as panicked as I feel – for a moment – but then seems to steel himself. ‘Good or bad?’ he says bravely.