The One Worth Finding (10 page)

Why now, God? Why do you send me love
when I’m not ready for it?

Chapter 8

“
She’ll reject me,” Aaron
whispered desperately
, “and my heart will break.”

“
Come home now, Aaron,” Grace
said over the phone, “don’t let her hurt you. Your friends, your
home… we’re all here. You don’t have to do this. You’re a wonderful
man. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“
She treats me like a prince,
Grace,” he cried out, “and I can’t leave. I have to try, even if it
might crush me in the end.”

“How do you know that she doesn’t love
you back?” his friend asked.

“
I don’t know it,” Aaron
answered, “but I know that she’s sad. Confused. Messed up. I can
feel it whenever we get really, really close. Our souls touch, for
god’s sake, and she reacts by getting scared, miserable, all but
scrambling away from me. I don’t know if I can fight against
whatever is holding her, but I need to try. If I don’t, I can’t
look into the mirror without regretting it for the rest of my
life.”

“I’m scared, Aaron.”

“
Me, too.” He snorted. “I never
expected love to feel like this. But I guess nobody does at first,
huh? I’m in over my head. I don’t know how to protect myself. She
can blow me up like a landmine with a single word.”

“What will you do now?”

“
Try to get close to her outside
of the club. I have to sneak behind her defenses, show her that I’m
more than a convenient fuck buddy. I guess she’s not 24/7, so she
would have to love me for more than great, spectacular,
earth-shattering, manic, out-of-the-orbit sex.”

Grace
chuckled faintly.

“That good, huh?”

“
Actually, I have no words for
it,” Aaron sighed, “but it’s more than that, Grace. She can read my
mind. She is right there, in my very soul. She knows exactly what I
need. She makes me want to obey her, desperately. She has a
flawless command voice that makes me her willing slave. She is not
hot on punishment, but on pleasure. She’s sweet and funny and
compassionate. She doesn’t even wax her pussy! It’s as if somebody
crawled into my head and designed my perfect Domme. My perfect
woman. No wonder I fell in love like an untried schoolboy. Why
can’t she accept me? What baggage is she carrying?”

“
Come home, Aaron,”
Grace tried again,
her voice small and begging. “Let us protect you before it’s too
late.”

“
I can’t, Grace,” he whispered,
“even if she can’t give me more than crumbs of her affection. I’ll
take what I can. Don’t worry, I’m afraid I’ll be home soon
enough.”

Grace
almost whimpered with her desire to
hug her sweet, selfless friend who so deserved to be loved, for
god’s sake, and not to be kicked into the dirt.

Aaron had always been there for everyone.
He had always brightened the club with his contagious good temper,
his funny pranks, his friendly, altruistic sweetness. Nobody could
resist his charm, his clever mind, his irresistible smile. She
wanted to throttle this woman for not realizing that she would
never meet someone like him again.

“
Aaron,” she
sighed
, “take
care, will you?”

“
Good night, kitten,” Aaron
murmured, resignation audible in his quiet voice, “I know it sounds
mean, but I’m glad you worry about me. It feels good that somebody
cares.”

Tara hadn’t been inside a church
since Jeff’s death. But after leaving the club, she’d
realized that she
didn’t have a single friend in the world. She’d lived a recluse’s
life after losing her husband, unable to let anyone near her.
People scared her. Obviously, she scared them, too, given the
reactions of the younger subs at the Fever Pitch.

Not ready to face the cold loneliness
of her sterile apartment, she’d come here, quietly enjoying the
echo of every tiny sound in the huge, empty space of St. Michael
Lutheran church. There were people walking around the aisles, but
she hardly saw them. She just bathed in the discreet noise that
surrounded her, and let the tears fall.

It felt relieving to finally be able
to cry. Her mind was like an open wound, and she released the tight
control she usually had in heaving, painful sobs.

In a perfect world, she would
collar Aaron Harte faster than he could say “Yes, Ma’am”. But she
wasn’t alone, wasn’t free. She had her husband to think of, and
there was no way to get rid of the guilt she was
c
onstantly
feeling. Just a week ago, she would have laughed at anyone who told
her she would fall in love again. Now that she had met Aaron, she
knew that she had only a few days with him to enjoy this feeling,
one more time. Love.

But the feeling wouldn’t go
away. She would love him for the rest of her days, torn
betw
een two
men, one dead, one gone; unable to leave Jeff’s memory alone for
her own happiness. Jeff had given everything for her! She had been
his whole universe, he had put his heart at her feet without
hesitation. She had loved him so much. He deserved her monogamy,
deserved to be the only man in her life until the day she
died.

She closed her eyes, the tears hot on
her face.

She so longed for the warmth of Aaron
Harte’s body, for the impact of his beautiful smile, the
intransigence of his perfect response to her. She wanted to sit in
a booth at a restaurant with him and just joke around, hear him
laugh, feed him french fries.

She whimpered. She should end
this, now. Should tell Jack she couldn’t do the
public scene, make him send
Aaron home. She knew she wouldn’t do it. Selfishly, she would take
every second she had with him, taste his kisses until he was be
gone, leaving her life cold and bitter and reserved for sweet
memories she made so long ago.

She got up and lit a candle for Jeff,
thinking about him for a while before she finally turned to
leave.

But after a few steps, she went back and
lit another candle for Aaron, wishing him all the luck and the love
and the happiness heaven and earth could provide him.

Please, God. Let him be
okay.

She picked him up again next
afternoon.

Aaron held her shoes in his lap while she
drove and couldn’t take his eyes from her. She was even more
beautiful when she laughed, her shining mahagony-colored hair
falling in glossy waves all around her slim shoulders, her smile
bright and soft and full of a warmth that made his heart soar. He
felt her reservation beneath her cheerful exterior, but he decided
not to dwell on it for now.

She was wonderful. He wanted to drown
in her.

He
watched her hands on the steering wheel
and found himself desperately wishing those perfect little hands to
enter him. Hard. Deep. He shuddered.

“
Not today
,“she said with a smile, reading his
thoughts again, the enchanting little witch. “Tomorrow. We’ll take
it slow today, just a pity-fuck to keep you in shape. I can’t risk
tearing you up tomorrow.”

Aaron chuckled.

“
If this is just a short
pity-fuck,” he said, giving her his patented ‘I’m-just-
a-sweet-little-subbie-and-you-can’t-deny-me-anything’ smile, “what
if you let me take you out to dinner afterwards? You can do that
out of pity, too. I don’t care.”

He saw her eyes going hard, staring
ahead on the street in front of her. She was silent for so long
that he already thought his cause lost when he suddenly heard her
voice.

“
Okay,” she said. “I’ll let you
invite me to dinner. But I didn’t say anything about that fuck
being short.”

“
Do you want a smaller
s
trap-on
today, sub?” she asked, her lips against his back.

“
No, Ma’am,” he whispered
urgently
, “I
want the big one, please.”

“Why isn’t it hurting you, little
pet?”

“
I’m well trained, Ma’am,” he
said. “My bowels are soft and pliant, and I know how to move to
avoid any pain. The fullness gives me pleasure.”

“
Will my fist do the same for
you, angel?” she kissed his neck, tugging at his hair with her
teeth.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he said, “don’t fear for
your unworthy sub. You will blow my mind with pleasure, although I
don’t deserve my mistress’ loving attention.”

She smiled against his skin.

“
You’re a good boy, Aaron,“ she
breathed, “and I reward good little boys.”

She stepped away from him and undressed
slowly, watching him. He was bent over the spanking bench, but she
hadn’t restrained him this time. He supported his upper body on his
outstretched arms, his legs firmly on the ground. The position
would make him tighter, and she would need a step to level out the
height difference between them. She took off her shoes, too; it
gave her more impact when she fucked him.

“You’ll be on this spanking bench when
I do the fisting tomorrow,” she said softly, “and I’ll do it from
behind. But when we do the public scene, you’ll be on your back. I
want the audience to see you come. It’s too good to
miss.”

“
Yes, Ma’am,”
he answered meekly, but she
could hear the excitement in his trembling voice.

She knelt down behind him and
kissed his buttocks, nipping at the soft skin, feeling his muscles
clench beneath her lips before she spread his cheeks and thoroughly
licked his puckered hole, stabbing the hot little entrance with her
tongue until he relaxed the sphincter completely. She heard him
moan and grunt, felt a thin sheen of sweat break out on his
muscular back
. He was shaking beneath her ministrations and she reached
in front of him to his cock, making him cry out when she squeezed
the throbbing rod none too gently. She collected the drop of
pre-cum on the tip, rubbing it into the smooth skin of his stomach,
his erection slapping against her hand with excitement.

She pressed a last kiss on the
well-licked opening she was about to violate, reveling in the heavy
shudder that ran through his whole frame.

She straightened and turned around to don
the strap-on, knowing full well he wouldn’t move until she gave her
permission. She stepped back behind him and trickled lube into the
cleft between his buttocks, gently rubbing it everywhere it was
needed. She doused the artificial cock in front of her with the
slick stuff afterwards, covering it with the transparent jelly
until it started to drip onto the floor.

She grabbed his hips, his
slim, muscular,
perfect hips.

“What’s your favorite position, sub?”
she asked, rubbing her breasts against his gleaming
back.

“On my side, Ma’am” he groaned, ”upper
leg over my mistress’ shoulder.”

She smiled.

“
We’ll do that another time,” she
breathed and entered him in short, hammering strokes until he’d
taken the strap-on to the hilt.

Aaron cried out with every thrust, his
whole lower body convulsing in erotic pleasure. He felt his tight
channel stretching around the intruding piston, felt his bowels
fill, the delicious friction when his prostate was rubbed and
massaged every time she surged back into him.

“Shall I go easy on you, little one?”
she asked.

“
No, Ma’am,” he replied without
hesitating, already gasping in ecstasy, ”use me any way you wish,
please.”

That
she did. It was unbelievable how much
power she had in her small body, but damn, she fucked him good. Her
thrusts were deep and pounding, making his whole body shake under
the impact, again, and again, until she did him even faster, her
hips slamming against his buttocks with every stroke. His channel
was clenching like mad, overwhelming lust pouring into his system
when his prostate fired against every nerve in his lower body. His
sounds got louder and louder, and she didn’t lose her mind-blowing
rhythm once, jackhammering into him until he felt like melting,
aroused like he’d never been in his life, his legs trembling with
the effort to stay upright.

Agai
n and again she repeated the
movement, his bowels contracting around the hard intruder, and
Aaron screamed when his balls tightened and hot come sizzled up in
his cock, he didn’t know if he was allowed to climax and fought to
hold back, when he finally heard her voice.

“Come, pet.”

And he did, erupted all over the soft
leather of the spanking-bench with so much force the spattering of
semen was audible on the fabric. He spent endlessly, his cock
jerking with every hot ream of seed he spilled, and she was still
fucking him, prolonging the sensations until he thought he would
lose his mind, consciousness, whatever. His noises were desperate
and keening, and damn, he created an unbelievable mess until he
finally collapsed on the bench, gasping and panting from the sheer
force of his release.

Her hands reached around his body to
slide through the puddle of slick semen in front of him.

“
I love how much cum you produce
for me, sub,” she said, and her voice was so calm, so in control,
so arousing he got hard again. “I love to milk you dry… the mess
you make pleases me enormously. You did well, sweet
one.”