The One You Really Want (38 page)

Oh God
.

Big Russ looked up as Carmen gingerly approached him. His hair was greying and straggly, the lines more pronounced around his face. He must be in his mid-forties now. He looked sixty. And he had a bad attack of the shakes.

‘Hi, here's your coffee.' Carmen risked meeting his gaze and saw his eyebrows knit together.

‘Cheers, love. Feelin' a bit, you know, rough, like. Have we met before?'

He didn't recognise her! With a rush of relief, Carmen put the mug of coffee down on the table in front of him.

‘No, I don't think so. Two sugars, is that right?'

Big Russ nodded, grunting as he leaned forward to pick up the mug. The next moment, coffee slopped all over the table.

‘Sorry. Got the shakes. Couldn't give me a hand, love, could you?' His frown deepened as he blearily surveyed her. ‘You sure I don't know you? Your face rings a bell. Ever worked down Cornwall way?'

‘Never.' Shaking her head firmly, Carmen held the mug to his lips and said, ‘There, not too hot?'

Not hot enough to burn his tongue and render him speechless, sadly. Having taken several noisy gulps of coffee, Russ sat back and said slurrily, ‘Seen you before somewhere, know I have.'

‘Maybe we just passed each other in the street.' Carmen forced brightness into her voice as Nick came over.

‘Nah, only came down from Manchester yesterday.' Russ began another doomed-to-failure attempt to roll another cigarette. He looked up, puzzled. ‘Ever been to Manchester?'

‘Sorry.' Eager to change the subject Carmen said, ‘Now, we can wash your clothes for you if you—'

‘Seen her before,' Russ told Nick, nodding and pointing an unsteady finger at Carmen. ‘Know her from somewhere. It'll come to me.'

Behind his back, Carmen rolled her eyes at Nick.

‘Best way to remember something is to stop thinking about it,' Nick said easily. ‘So what brings you down from Manchester then, Russell?'

‘On my way to Cornwall. Back to Cornwall,' Russ slurred. ‘To live with my brother in Penzance.' He coughed and dropped his cigarette papers into his lap. ‘S'posed to change trains at Paddington yesterday.'

‘Nick.' Annie had emerged from the kitchen waving the phone. ‘Call for you.'

Carmen exhaled with relief as Nick apologised to Russ and went to take the call. She helped Russ to drink the rest of his coffee. ‘Why didn't you catch the train to Cornwall?'

‘Delayed, wasn't it? So I went into the pub. Ended up spending the ticket money on beer instead. Woke up in a doorway this morning. Someone told me about this place. Not bad here, is it?' Blinking, he peered at Carmen once more. ‘Did you used to have long hair?'

Carmen's heart was racing. Any minute now, he was going to figure out who she was and broadcast it to everyone within earshot.

‘Look.' Panicking inside, she forced her voice to remain calm. ‘If your brother's expecting you, you really should get down to Penzance. We have an . . . um, emergency fund that can cover the cost of the train ticket. Would that be a help?'

Tears filled Russ's eyes. ‘Bless you, love, it would. He'll be wondering where I am.'

‘OK, I'll get you the money. But you have to promise that this time you'll buy a ticket.' Carmen jumped up. Hurrying through to the back office, she unlocked the drawer containing her bag and emptied her purse, thanking her lucky stars she'd stopped at the cashpoint on the way in to work.

‘What are you doing?' Nick's voice behind her made Carmen jump. Guiltily she swung round.

‘He's desperate to get down to Cornwall.'

Eyeing the giveaway bundle of tenners in her hand, Nick's expression softened. ‘You can't afford to do that.'

‘It's OK, really. I want to.'

‘Yesterday lunchtime we were looking at lampshades for your bedroom,' said Nick, ‘and you chose the paper ones because they were the cheapest. Now you're giving - what, a hundred pounds? - to a complete stranger.' Moving towards Carmen, he put his arms round her and slowly shook his head. ‘God, you are amazing.'

Guilt welled up. Unable to look at him, Carmen said, ‘I'm not.'

‘You are. How many people would do that?' Stroking her face, Nick planted a tender kiss on her mouth. ‘That's why I love you.'

‘Yeeurch,' exclaimed Annie, shielding her eyes in the doorway. ‘People
kissing
. Gross. Too early in the morning for all that lovey-dovey stuff.'

Releasing Carmen, Nick said, ‘Never too early for me.'

 

Outside the shelter, Carmen pointed Big Russ firmly in the direction of the station. ‘You have to buy a train ticket,' she repeated.

He nodded. ‘I know. I will. My brother's waiting for me.'

Carmen hated herself for prying but she had to ask, needed to know. Gently she said, ‘Do you have any other family? Were you ever married?'

Russ's eyes clouded over. For a few moments he was silent, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

‘I was. We were very happy. Josie, her name was. Then she died, four years ago. Brain haemorrhage. Bang, gone, just like that.'

‘Oh Russ, I'm so sorry. That's terrible.' Carmen was appalled.

He nodded. ‘Forty-one, she was. My Josie, the love of my life. I wanted to die too. Should've just blown my brains out. Instead I'm doing it the hard way, drinking myself to death.'

Carmen looked at him. ‘And does it make you feel better?'

‘No,' Russ said wearily. ‘Worse.'

‘Maybe it's time to stop. Josie wouldn't have wanted to see you like this.'

‘I know. I know.' Shamefaced, he huddled deeper into his coat.

‘I have to get back to work,' said Carmen. ‘Listen, you take care of yourself. Moving down to Cornwall could be a whole new start.'

Russ didn't clap his hands together and cry, ‘Yes, yes it
could
!' He mumbled pessimistically, ‘Yeah, right,' and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. As he turned to leave, he said, ‘Thanks for the money.'

‘Good luck,' said Carmen.

Russ paused and glanced back. ‘I
know
I've seen you somewhere before.' Pointing a stubby finger at her, he said again, ‘It'll come to me.'

That's why I'm getting you out of here, Carmen thought guiltily, packing you off on a train before it happens and you mess up my life like you messed up yours.

‘You're off at six, aren't you?' said Antonio. ‘Come out for a drink with me after work.'

Mia was beginning to realise that maybe she hadn't done the wisest thing after all. Think Before You Flirt was a maxim to which she hadn't adhered and now she was living to regret it. Over the past couple of weeks Antonio had become keener and keener. It had been fun at first, but now she didn't quite know how to make it stop. And if Antonio and Sadie were to break up, that would leave Sadie on her own again. What if she decided to get back with Connor? Talk about divine retribution.

‘Antonio, I can't. You're with Sadie.' She wished he wouldn't give her that soulful, baby-seal look.

‘No problem.' Antonio raised his hands. ‘She's got classes until ten.'

‘I couldn't go behind her back,' Mia said firmly.

‘OK, fine. You want me to finish with her, is that it?'

‘No! I think you should stay together.'

‘But I like you better.' Antonio's tone was persuasive. ‘Sadie's too old for me.'

Snap. Aloud Mia said, ‘I'm only sixteen. You're too old for me.'

‘But you're so mature for your age,' Antonio persisted.

And you're so immature for yours, thought Mia.

‘My dad's very over-protective. He'd go bananas.' Trapped behind the reception desk, she wondered why the phone couldn't come to her rescue and start ringing. ‘Look, thanks for the offer, but I can't. You really should stay with Sadie.'

Antonio now looked like a baby seal about to be beaten to death with a club. ‘I can't believe you're saying that.'

In all honesty, Mia couldn't either. But the time had come to backtrack furiously. ‘You're perfect together. Everyone says so,' she lied.

‘You think?'

‘Definitely. God, Sadie's an amazing woman. In fact you're lucky to have her.'

Glancing to the left, Antonio blanched and began to sidle away. Mia followed the direction of his gaze and saw that the door to the ladies' cloakroom was open. Sadie was standing there, listening to every word.

‘Right,' Antonio said hastily. ‘Well, I've got a client waiting upstairs . . .'

Sadie watched him go, her face rigid. Turning, she eyed Mia stonily and gripped the handles of her Adidas bag so tightly her knuckles were white. ‘I don't know what you think you're playing at,' she hissed through gritted teeth, ‘but I've never been so humiliated in my life.'

 

Earlier, in the gym, Nancy had been fascinated by the sight of a plump, tousle-haired blonde in a pristine pale yellow tracksuit occupying the exercise bike next to hers. For forty minutes the blonde had sat there without exercising at all. Not a single revolution of the pedals, not a single calorie burned. Instead she had remained engrossed in a copy of
Heat
and munched her way through two Wagon Wheels and a bar of Caramac. Looking up and catching Nancy glancing enviously at the half-eaten bar, she'd generously offered her a piece.

‘Go on, have some. Best stuff in the world.'

‘I haven't had a Caramac for years,' said Nancy. ‘I didn't know they still made them.'

‘If they ever stopped making Caramacs, life truly wouldn't be worth living. Bugger.' Having checked her watch, the blonde girl reluctantly closed her magazine and slid down from the unexercised bike. ‘Speaking of life not being worth living, it's time for my class.'

Waving goodbye, Nancy watched her head - without discernible enthusiasm - for the aerobics studio. It was seven o'clock which meant the girl was booked into Sadie's advanced class.

No wonder she'd been conserving her energy.

Fifteen minutes later Nancy was at the bar ordering a coffee when she heard a strange wheezing sound like dusty bellows behind her.

‘Oh God, my legs, my
lungs
,' panted the tousle-haired blonde. Grabbing a stool, she attempted to clamber onto it. An unlit cigarette dangled from her lips. ‘That was the longest, most completely hideous thirty minutes of my life. Got a light?'

There was a box of Lazy B matches on the bar. Nancy struck one and held it to the girl's cigarette. ‘Fifteen minutes, actually.'

‘Bloody hell. It felt more like fifteen hours.' The girl ordered a large vodka and tonic from the barman and inhaled smoke right down to her toes. ‘Never,
ever
again.' Holding out a trembling hand she said, ‘I'm Tabitha, by the way.'

‘Nancy.' Sympathetically Nancy shook her hand. ‘First time?'

‘First and last.' Tabitha grimaced. ‘My darling boyfriend thought I needed to lose some weight so he bought me a year's membership for my birthday. Said a place called the Lazy B would suit me down to the ground.'

Now why did that sound familiar? Oh yes, it was just the kind of thing Jonathan would have said. Funny how she didn't miss him. Aloud Nancy said, ‘Well, at least you can tell him you gave it a go.'

‘Actually, my birthday was before Christmas. We've broken up since then. He was a bully, one of those controlling types.' Tabitha pulled a face. ‘Otherwise known as a right bastard. I decided I deserved better than the kind of man who tells me how many calories there are in Christmas pudding.' She took another contented puff of her cigarette. ‘But I knew the membership had cost a bomb so I thought I may as well come down here and check the place out. Bought this in Harvey Nichols this morning, specially.' Proudly she indicated the pale yellow tracksuit. ‘I felt quite fit and healthy, just looking at myself in the mirror. The girls at work all wet themselves laughing when I told them what I was doing tonight. They thought it was the funniest thing ever. That's why I thought I'd show them, and booked myself into an advanced class. God, I'm such a durr-brain.'

‘You don't have to do advanced,' said Nancy. ‘Beginners is fine to start off with. Or just stick to the machines, like me. Then you can go at your own pace.'

‘I think you saw my pace when we were on the exercise bikes,' Tabitha said wryly. ‘To be honest, I can't see me getting into this fitness lark at all.'

‘You never know.' Nancy's tone was encouraging. ‘You might start to enjoy it.'