Ruby snorted derisively, and Hart felt a flush burn her cheeks. Of course Ruby wouldn't want to be a part of this; she had more dignity than to prance around half naked for the benefit of a braying pack of strangers.
"I wanted to see you."
"You hate me." Hart could still see Ruby's face twisted up in anger as she yelled at Hart for deceiving her. It wasn't an image she was likely to forget.
"I don't hate you," Ruby sighed, reaching to tug nervously at her curls. "I was mad. Still am, a bit. But, I understand why you did it."
"You do?"
Ruby nodded. "I wish you hadn't lied to me, but I guess I can see why you did. You had to, at first. And then …"
Hart nodded eagerly. That was exactly it—where was the line? When did you become close enough to say,
I've been lying to you this whole time?
How could you say that to someone who had become a friend?
"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said.
"Yeah. I know. Everyone does what they have to, to survive," she said, bitterness creeping into her voice. Hart knew Ruby must be thinking of her own mother. "At least you did it to take care of your family."
The last thing Hart wanted was for Ruby to compare Hart to her mother; she didn't want to be just another person who hurt Ruby in order to get by, another person who left her to get a leg up in the world. Hart wished she could do something to make it up to Ruby, but she didn't know how. Not anymore. It was ridiculous that she had felt more like herself when she was lying to everyone around her than she did now, covered in makeup and dressed in these ridiculous clothes. She tugged uselessly at her top, wishing that the spandex covered more of her. She felt exposed, even more than she did standing in front of a packed arena. She worried that all she'd see in Ruby's eyes was judgment.
Ruby's eyes followed the movement. "That's … different than what you wore at Dad's gym," she said tactfully.
Hart snorted. "A bit." She let go of her top, crossing her arms over her bare stomach. "I hate it," she admitted, sneaking a glance up at Ruby's expression.
"Then why do it?"
"Why do any of us do it?" Hart said bitterly. "The money."
Ruby grimaced but nodded. If anyone understood the world they lived in, it was Ruby. Alley-raised or not.
"Is it really that awful?" she asked, walking around the changing room, running her hands over the lockers and shelves. "The arena is really nice. Much nicer than dad's."
Hart watched her, her eyes on the movement of Ruby's body, the way her black clothes clung to her curves—the opposite of the tacky display that Hart wore.
"The arena might be nicer but the people aren't."
Ruby glanced over her shoulder, frowning as she saw the expression on Hart's face. "What is it?"
"The men," Hart said in a small voice, gesturing at the door back into the arena. "They just—" she shook her head. "I never knew how you did it, you know? Dealing with the things the men would say to you in the gym."
Ruby made a face, her gaze dropping down to Hart's outfit once again. Hart felt her face heat.
"I can see why they might … say things," Ruby allowed.
Hart turned her face away. "You're right. I brought it on myself. But the way they grab me—"
"Hey," Ruby said sharply. Hart's head jerked up, seeing anger flash in Ruby's eyes. "They have no right to lay a hand on you. Not when you don't want them to."
"Yeah, well. They do anyway. They grab me and they slobber all over me, and they try to pay me to—"
Ruby came closer, grasping Hart's arm, her fingers brushing just above Hart's elbow. "I hope you tell them to go chew their own dicks off."
A sharp laugh startled out of Hart, and for a moment she felt better. "I told the guy there wasn't enough money in the world."
"Good," Ruby said.
"I just—the whole thing makes me feel so disgusting," Hart admitted. "The way they look at me—the way they make me
look
," she raised a hand to her styled hair, scrubbing through it to ruin Kella's work. "I hate the things they say to me and the way Jackal treats me. Hell, I hate the other girls. I know it's not their fault, any more than mine. But I still hate their stupid hair and their nails and their giant boobs."
Ruby laughed, clapping a hand over her mouth and staring at Hart with wide, amused eyes. For a second, things felt normal between them, like nothing had changed.
Like they could go back to being friends.
Except, when Hart looked at Ruby, she couldn't help the way her eyes lingered on the girl's lips, or the length of her slender neck, the graceful lines of her body. The things that ran through Hart's mind when she looked at Ruby were far from just friendly.
Which was exactly why Ruby had decided she hated her.
Hart sighed, stepping back, putting some space between them.
"Come on," Ruby said.
"What?"
"We're getting out of her." She leaned in, her face serious. "You can't let them get to you. It doesn't matter what they say, because at the end of the night,
you're
the winner."
Knowing she had won didn't make the comments hurt less, but somehow Hart still felt buoyed by Ruby's words. Maybe it was just the fact that Ruby was talking to her at all.
They left through the back door, trying to avoid the teeming crowd that poured out the front of the building, drunk and animated.
"Come on, it's a long walk back to the Alley," Ruby said, and Hart couldn't help the smug grin that split her face.
"Walking's for losers," she laughed. "But I'm a winner." She snuck around to the side of the building where the car waited, sleek and black; its engine humming in a low purr.
"Seriously?" Ruby gaped as Hart opened the door.
Hart held the door open with a gallant gesture, smiling as Ruby slid inside. She ran her hands over the smooth leather interior, rubbing her palms into the seat with an expression of awe. Hart scrambled in after her.
"The men may be disgusting, but this car is nice," Ruby said.
"If only the cars paid to see me fight."
They slid smoothly out into traffic, the lights of the City flashing by the tinted windows. Ruby turned in her seat to look, a palm pressed against the glass. "It's incredible, isn't it?" Her eyes tracked a well-dressed couple, strolling down the street, their clothes expensive and immaculate. "All that money, packed so tightly together."
The City was tiny compared to the Alley and the Gutter, a few square miles of sybaritic extravagance. The buildings soared high and everything gleamed, like a sparkling diamond in the middle of the dim filth of the rest of the metropolis. Here, in the midst of it, it was hard to imagine places like the Gutter could actually exist: low, grimy buildings, cobbled together out of what the City threw away, packed closely together in a jumble of life. A place where washing lines danced from house to house, the threadbare and stained clothing swaying in the breeze, where houses crumbled around their occupants, walls propped up and roofs covered with tarp to keep the rain out. In the City, everything was pristine and perfect.
"It's horrible," Hart said fiercely. "It's such a waste. The money they spend on clothes alone could feed my family for a year. They put on their suits and gowns and come to watch us fight, laughing over how desperate we are for fifty dollars. No wonder they think they can buy anything they want," Hart glanced out the window. "They already have."
"Hey," Ruby said, sliding closer, until their legs touched. Hart forced herself not to look down at the point of contact. She could feel the warmth of Ruby's flesh through the layers of cloth between them. "You don't have to do this."
"I do. I want Roe and Penny to go to school," Hart said. "I want them to be better than me so
they
don't have to do this."
Ruby paused, then nodded. "Okay." Hart was pretty sure she wasn't just humoring her, was pretty sure Ruby actually understood.
Hart felt some of the tension drain from her body and she slumped against the seat of the car, letting her head fall back to stare at the sleek black of the roof. "I wish I could just fight myself."
"What do you mean?"
Hart snorted. "Jackal's offered a bonus to anyone who can beat me."
Ruby shifted in her seat to face her, eyebrows raised. "How much?"
"Ten thousand."
Ruby let out a low whistle. "Holy crap. And what do you get when you win?"
"Fifty."
"Fuck. That's … completely unfair."
Hart laughed. "That's what I said, but fighting isn't fair."
"Dad tries to make sure it is."
Hart shifted, rolling her head on the seat rest to meet Ruby's eyes. "I know. But it still wasn't fair when I fought men twice my size. It wasn't fair when Kemp showed up and ruined everything. It wasn't fair that I was in that ring in the first place."
"Yeah," Ruby agreed with a sigh. She glanced out the window. "Let's go get ice cream."
"What?" Hart laughed, startled.
"I'm serious. There's a place right there." She tapped on the glass of the window, and Hart peered past her, taking in the neon lights proclaiming 'soda fountain.' It was sleek and clean and bright and bold, just like everything else in the City. They would look ridiculously out of place in there; Hart in her oversized clothes and smeared stage makeup, Ruby with her defensive stance and wild hair.
"Yeah. Let's do it."
The driver looked bemused when they demanded he stop the car but obediently pulled up to the curb outside the ice cream parlor. Hart let Ruby lead the way, excitement scrawled on her face. "This place is so nice," she whispered as she swung the door open. "I mean, we go for ice cream sometimes in the Alley, but…look at this place."
There were no ice cream shops in the Gutter, so Hart didn't have a lot to compare the restaurant to, but she could see that every surface gleamed a slick white, brightly colored neon lights dancing above them, proclaiming that they were in the presence of the best milkshakes in town, the largest sundae in the City, the best ice cream around.
The girl behind the counter narrowed her eyes as Hart and Ruby approached, her gaze raking over their clothes, catching on the rips and tears and dirt that marred Hart's sweatshirt.
"Can I help you?" she asked, voice unforgiving.
Ruby flashed the girl her best smile, wide and insincere, and Hart had to duck her head to hide her grin.
"Yep. We'll take one of your 'best milkshakes in town' and a large sundae. With everything on top, right Hart?"
"Sure?"
The girl sneered slightly, not making a move towards the ice cream. "That's gonna be six dollars," she said nastily.
Hart's eyes widened at the price—that was more than she made in twelve hours of packing boxes—but Ruby just waved a hand nonchalantly in the girl's face.
"Why don't I ring you up first?" The girl asked.
Ruby leaned forward on the counter, her eyes narrowed. "Is that what you do for all your customers?"
"You're not exactly our … typical customers, are you?"
Hart ground her teeth. Ruby was trying to make the evening fun, but there was nothing fun about the way this girl was looking at them.
"Come on," she said, pulling Ruby away from the counter. "I'm suddenly not hungry."
The ice cream girl gave them a vicious smile. "Have a nice night," she sing-songed as Hart pulled Ruby out the door.
"Hart …" Ruby said hesitantly.
"It's fine," Hart said. "I'm just—I'm done with this place. I don't want anything to do with people like that."
"Then let's go back to the Alley," Ruby agreed.
Hart didn't feel like she belonged in the City and, more importantly, she didn't want to belong to that sleek, unforgiving world of money and excess. It was all fake and cruel, built on the backs of the people she knew and loved in the Gutter and the Alley. The City paraded its wealth while people starved outside their gates. No matter how much money she made as a fighter, Hart knew it wasn't a world she wanted to join.
She and Ruby climbed into the car. As they sped towards the Alley, Hart didn't look back.
*~*~*
Hart startled at the knock on the door early the next morning. She had already sent the kids out for the day, her mother trailing behind them. It had been weeks since the Kemp debacle, but the sound of knuckles rapping at the door still set Hart on edge. They didn't get a lot of knocks in these parts.
She peeked through the rickety wooden slats of the door and was surprised to see the fiery mass of Ruby's hair. Even though she had left Ruby with a smile and a squeeze of the hand at Leo's the previous night, Hart wasn't sure they were back to being friendly enough to visit.
Ruby gazed down the narrow street, unaware of Hart's eyes on her, and Hart allowed herself a moment to just look. The sun that filtered down into the Gutter street caught the planes of Ruby's face, dancing over her round cheeks, the slight upturn of her nose, and catching on the freckles that spattered over her skin.
Hart suddenly, fiercely, wished she had gotten just one more chance to kiss her, to feel what it was like without panic overriding the sensations. To touch her without the taint of lies between them, to put her hands on Ruby's pale flesh, the soft curve of her waist, or to tangle her fingers in those wild curls.
Ruby was beautiful in a way none of the girls Hart faced in the ring were. She didn't wear makeup to enhance the green of her eyes or slick her hair with product to tame its riotous curls. She just let herself
be
in a way that Hart both longed for and was envious of.
She sighed, knowing she was lucky that Ruby had even decided to forgive her; lucky that there was even a chance they could be friends again. Wishing for more was just being greedy.
She plastered on a smile and pulled open the door.
Ruby looked up, the sun hitting her face, lighting up her skin, making the auburn of her eyelashes glitter. Hart felt something twist within her—want and regret bundled together in the base of her stomach. She forced her smile wider.
"Hey. What're you doing here?"
Ruby grinned back. "I had an idea."
Hart gestured her inside, leading the way to the table and the only chairs in the house. They rattled as they sat, rocking on uneven legs. She hoped Ruby didn't notice.