I brushed past her and burst out of the kitchen door toward my car. With fingers gripped tightly on the steering wheel, I sped into town with no destination in mind. Everything was spinning out of control. Nothing made sense and I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated the cosmos for giving me this stupid gift, Scarlett for being a thorn in my flesh, Nicholas for not being strong enough to fight his dark side, Sam for abandoning me, Phil for confusing me on a daily basis, Alora for ruining everything, Tyler for ratting me out, and Katie for dying. The frustration became words I shouted at the top of my lungs until my throat burned.
For once I actually wanted to talk directly to God. I wanted to know what to do. Laughter bubbled out of my throat as I turned on Highway 17 toward Los Angeles. At this point, nothing mattered but the truth. Screw finals.
My shoulders relaxed as I took in the view at the summit, the ocean in the distance over the tops of redwoods. The thought of being sucked dry and freed from the chaos seemed inviting. Maybe if I just stood in the middle of L.A. and screamed, the vampires would come get me. Maybe then, Nicholas would come to my rescue and stop this.
My phone vibrated with a text from Dad.
- Come home. There’s been an emergency.
I pulled off to the side of the road, my hands shaking. Last emergency, Dad ended up in the hospital with heart issues. Was that happening again? My hands trembled as I dialed the phone.
“Dad?” I asked, afraid this time something horrible happened to Luke. “What’s wrong?”
“Just come home, honey. Your mother’s body has been found.”
On the drive home Dad told me builders, in preparation of condos, unearthed Mom’s resting place in L.A. on accident. Visions of the beautiful field where Nicholas had once planted all the flowers was now overrun with tractors and equipment, tearing up the mountainside. To my surprise, Dad wasn’t as distraught as I expected. Instead, his heart was filled with anger and revenge as if he’d known all along, emotions too soon in the grief cycle. Luke completely fell apart, which ripped my insides to shreds.
Detectives did note the position of her body suggested respect, indicating someone who knew her had buried the body. That part hit Luke the worst, helplessness drowning him through silent tears. Dad said, other than a broken clavicle, they didn’t find anything else showing how she was murdered. The truth, that a vampire killed her and Nicholas and Preston buried her, weighed heavily on my heart.
It was decided we’d go to L.A. as a family to bury Mom—and hopefully our demons as well. The Disneyland trip and my finals were postponed. Getting out of my obligation with Sam flooded me with relief. But, if I’d thought escaping to see Nicholas with Sam in tow was going to be a challenge, there was no way under the dutiful watch of my dad I’d get that chance. I had to come up with another plan.
In my room, with my feelings blanket wrapped tightly over my psyche, deep-seated longing for Mom wiggled its way to the surface. Doubt, fear, and loss. I pulled out Nicholas’ journal again, craving his words, hoping they’d fill the ache inside my soul. Only he and I knew the truth.
May 25
Today has been the worst day of my life. My mistake cost my closest friend her life. I will never forgive myself. Her blood is on my hands and I’ll never forget the look on her daughter’s face when I took her home, alone. The poor girl. I will never let anything happen to her. Why didn’t I go? Why didn’t I listen to myself? Why did I let my dad talk me out of it? This damn curse… everyone I love dies.
I gulped hard, swallowing down his guilt heavily scrawled across the pages. What would Mom say to all of this? She wouldn’t have blamed Nicholas just because he was late to meet her at the park that night. The whole incident was poor timing. If Mom attracted vampires like I did, more run-ins would have been expected. But the set-up created a recipe for lifelong second-guessing for him.
Through my experiences, I’d come to realize bad things happen to good people—especially when vampires were involved. Some things couldn’t be prevented. Unless he’d sworn himself to be her protector the day they’d met, but this still might have happened on a different day and I could have been a victim alongside her, or worse, his enemy as a newly sired vampire.
May 30
I’m tormented by her eyes. I dream and I’m stuck, watching what happened and I can’t stop it. Only when hunting them down do I feel any relief. Like I’m doing some good. Even though it’s suicide, I’m having thoughts to hunt Cain myself and kill him. This has to stop. His death is the key to stopping all of it. Why am I such a coward?
I sighed. All Nicholas wanted was to avenge the curse of the vampire, the destiny I ran from. What would he think if he knew I was the chosen one, the Seer? But now that we loved each other, would he want me to hunt down Cain and destroy him? Destroy us?
June 1
I can’t get this out of my mind. Something was strange about the vampire that bit AnneMarie. Before I finished him off, he acted drunk, delirious even. I’d never encountered a vampire that acted that way before …
Phil’s angst startled me. I shoved the journal into my backpack and pulled
Promise
off my nightstand.
“Parker,” he whispered before opening up my window. “Can I come in?”
“Of course you can.” I patted the carpet next to me. “Have a seat.”
Now was as good a time as any to tell him I wasn’t going back—that the Fab Five, down two members, was about to fall apart.
He sat down and took my hand. “We need to talk.” His newfound happiness shocked me, especially after what happened earlier in Nicholas’ kitchen.
“I have to tell you something, too.”
“Wait. Me first.” Relief snaked through us as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Scar caved. She promised to find out how to resurrect vampires. So you don’t need to go after all.”
My jaw dropped. “She did? Why?”
Phil gave me his charming grin. “Because I just asked her to.”
He said it so plainly like he’d asked her to pick up ice cream from the store. I knew better. His mischievous aura tipped me off something further transpired to get her to budge.
“And?”
“What do you mean ‘and’?” He coughed to hide a snicker.
I put my hand on my hip. “She told me
emphatically
that she wouldn’t.”
“I gave her an offer she couldn’t refuse,” he said with an Italian accent.
“Like what?”
“My loyalty.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I folded my arms over my chest.
“She needs me to be on her side and we both need you alive. So since you are determined, I showed her reason.”
“You and your charm.” I took a deep breath and collapsed into his chest. “But that doesn’t mean she’ll tell me once she does know.”
“She’s a pussycat. All meow, no bite. I’ll get her to talk.”
I knew he was fishing for a laugh to lighten me up, but I was in no mood. I closed my eyes instead and pouted up my lip. He couldn’t even begin to fathom the depths of her manipulation. Lucky for Phil, I was too tired to lecture him about all the crap she’d been responsible for unleashing. There was an ulterior motive behind her change of mind, and I was sure I’d find out soon enough, whether or not I wanted to.
“So what’s your big news?” he asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Oh.” I bit my lip, wanting to keep quiet. He deserved the truth. And if Nicholas came back with me when we returned, he needed fair warning. “We found my mom.”
“Your mom? I thought she was—she’s alive?”
“No. They finally found her body.”
“Holy … I am
so
sorry.” He wove his hand into mine.
“In Los Angeles,” I mumbled. “So, there will be a funeral …”
“You’re kidding.” Phil sighed and rested his head against the top of mine, oozing defeat. “After all that. And you’re going to see Nick while you’re there, aren’t you?”
I cringed out of his view. “I’m going to try. I don’t know, it’ll be harder with my dad around. But I’m definitely leaving the Fab Five. I can’t do this anymore, can’t pretend we’re together for some common good because Scarlett has a death wish—”
“Don’t be mad at her,” Phil interrupted.
I pushed off his chest and glared.
Traitor.
“What else did you bargain for?”
“Nothing. And you need to remember she’s not the enemy. Did you know her mother was bitten when she was pregnant and died when Scarlett was born? And as an orphan, people rejected her because of her differences. The only rewarding relationship she’s ever had was with that Fortune Teller who cared for her like her own. She just wants to fulfill her purpose—”
“Yeah, but—”
“Wait, I’m not done. Look at what happened to Katie, how easily … you know.” He pulled a face and gritted his teeth together. “What if you get mad at me one day and you totally know you will. You could kick me out, too. The invitation clearly isn’t permanent, even here. I could die tomorrow by accident and if that happens … I don’t want to end up
there
by accident.”
I stared into his nebulous eyes. “She’s brainwashed you!”
“What she’s saying makes sense and I’ve seen a side of life you haven’t. Hell, fire, damnation! It’s a real place, Parker. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to stay out of there.”
I turned my back to him and folded my arms. Scarlett’s fear tactics worked. She’d successfully coerced his cooperation against me.
“So I kill you and cross my fingers you all end up in heaven? Do you hear what you’re saying? I’m not going to do that. I think even if the two of you don’t succeed in helping someone stop the vampires, you’ll both be redeemed. What I remember from Sunday School isn’t about what you do for God, but the condition of your heart … think about it. What could you possibly do that will earn you eternity? Nobody’s perfect.”
“Even still—”
“What about what you said before? About no one knowing their fate. Scarlett’s reasoning is wacked.” The tirade from earlier unleash my tongue. “Did she tell you she knew all along Alora was Nicholas’ mom? Everyone thought Alora wanted to turn Nicholas in for the ransom, when in fact she just wanted her son back—”
And the necklace.
“Scarlett knew because she specifically asked me not to tip him off early. And by listening to her, she got what she wanted. Nicholas was turned to the dark side, against me, making my prediction easier to fulfill. I get that her life has been hard, but she’s taking it out on me and fixated on this ridiculous prediction.”
“Don’t forget she did her best to try to resuscitate him.”
“Yeah, right.” I clucked my tongue. “She ended up getting bit and feeding him with super blood.”
Phil took my hands. “Yes, she’s an enigma, but she’s fighting the battle, just like I am. She doesn’t have to be good. In fact, she’s technically the most badass half-vampire in the world with her mind-reading skills and persuasive abilities. She could have anything she wanted. But instead, she’s chosen to do the right thing—to defend something that saves you and your kind.”
When he said “your kind,” it sounded like I was inferior to him and the cause of this whole mess. I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head, rejecting the logic. “Well, I have to go to L.A. and I’m going to take the opportunity to talk to Alora. It’s my fault that Katie’s dead and I have to bring her back.”
Phil studied me, sad and defeated. “Alora won’t tell you.”
“Maybe she’ll have compassion since Katie was her kin…”
in the loosest sense of the word.
He remained stoic. “Compassion isn’t in her vocabulary.”
“Don’t you care?”
“I do, but I care more about keeping you alive.” Phil took ahold of my shoulders. “You have to promise me you’ll stay inside at night.”
Goosebumps of heat spread across my skin from where he touched me. “I’m sure if I stay with my family nothing will happen.”
“No.” He stared into my soul with his dark eyes, zinging electricity to the bottom of my feet. “Promise me!”
“Okay.” I shrugged off his grip and darted my gaze away. I couldn’t handle him looking at me like that—like I wasn’t coming back. “I don’t even think I can get away. So much will be happening. I’m not looking forward to it,” I said as a consolation, so he’d stop being so worried and jealous.
He wrapped me up in a hug, radiating truckloads of helplessness and concern. “I’m here for you … until you cross the border into L.A, that is. I love you, darlin’, but I’ve used up my nine lives.”
I involuntarily snorted. “Are you trying to tell me you shape-shift into a cat now?”
“I’ve got my secrets,” he said with a smile in his voice. “So, when do you leave?”
“Friday, I guess.”
He paused for a moment and squeezed me tighter. “You’ll get through this, Parker. You’re strong. Just don’t be stupid.”
“Me? Stupid? Never,” I said, trying to sound funny.
“Love can make you do dumb things.”
Like sit here and console me? You need to lecture yourself.
Both of us had done stupid things in the past for love. But Phil topped them off, wearing his heart on his sleeve.
“Sorry,” I said and held my breath, apologizing for everything that made our relationship difficult and convoluted. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him. But he needed to face the reality I could be bringing Nicholas home with me. Everything
would
change.
“For?” He pulled back and rubbed his thumb over my cheek. “Don’t feel sorry for me. You know what they say about karma.”
“I hate to see you suffering because of me. You’ve sacrificed so much.”
His lips spread into a grin. “You, my dear, have never been the source of my suffering. Though, I do think your blood would be very delicious.”
“Stop it!” I nudged him in the side. I wanted to tell him that he’d find someone, that he’d be happy like Nicholas and I were. But selfishly I wanted him loyal to me, too, at least now when I needed someone in my corner.