The Opposite of Love (13 page)

30

ROSE

Rose sat on the grass, plucking piece after piece after piece so that she wouldn't have to think. Looking as tired as if he'd pulled two all-nighters in a row, Chase dropped the bomb. “Okay, so after almost three years of unpaid child support, my mom finally filed with the courts for back payment. That means the courts will deduct a part of each of my dad's paychecks and send it to Candy. Sounds good, right?”

Rose nodded.

“I thought so too. Only out of the blue my dad called Candy to tell her he'd sobered up and was a changed man. Said he wanted to share custody now that he had his shit together.”

“Convenient timing,” Daniel muttered.

“I know. Candy said, ‘Gee thanks, but no thanks.' Then Walter countered with a legal request to reevaluate custody. He wants us to live with him part time.”

When Rose learned that Walter lived in Bakersfield, she groaned out loud. Same state, but a good three-hour drive. What good did that do a sorry-ass, non-driving reject like herself? The Parsimmons had refused to let her take driver's ed, making her unlike every other sophomore in the free world. They claimed her lack of impulse control could make her a hazard to the road.

Rose lay on her back in the center of a dandelion patch. She could see the mountains from where she lay, and for a moment it seemed as though they were closing in on her, moving closer and closer, ready to flatten her. The warning bell rang in the distance, and she saw blurry shapes of students standing, moving, heading toward lockers and classrooms. They were blurry because of her tears. She rolled over onto her stomach and said hotly, “So what, Chase, he
forgot
he had kids for three years?” She swiped her arm across her eyes, hoping no one noticed. “You have to fight this.”

“I want to fight this,” Chase agreed quietly. “I researched it online, and they'll let anyone over fourteen address the court. But I don't want to take the chance of the court making Daisy go without me.”

“Hire a lawyer!” Becca bounced from side to side like she was getting ready to box. “Get someone to fight for you both!”

“Yeah, and pay for him, how? We can barely make the rent.”

Daniel balanced Becca's agitation with complete calm. Seriousness. “Our parents would help you. Hell—the synagogue would help you. They've always got one fundraiser or another going. They have a cash collection box in the office—for tzedakah—for good deeds. This would be a good deed. I have an in with the rabbi, you know.”

Chase laid his hand on Daniel's shoulder and sighed. “My mom won't accept charity.”

Rose felt like a piece of stale taffy, pulled so hard she just might break. She snapped to her feet. “It's time for her to step up to the plate and fight for her kids!”

Chase reached his hand up toward her. “Look, Rose, my mom means well, but she's never had the balls to stand up for me before. Why should she now?”

Rose looked around, searching for an answer. “I say let's run away.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“At least then we would be together.” The second she said it, she realized it sounded much more dramatic than she'd intended. She could hardly breathe.

Chase stared at her and pushed himself to his feet. Becca and Daniel stared too.

“I can't leave Daisy.”

“Bring her.”

“Rose, neither you nor I have our shit together enough to take care of a kid. I don't mind playing uncle now and then, but I don't want to be Daisy's dad.” Chase reached over Rose's hair, gathering it away from her face. He looked at her, almost like he was apologizing. “Besides, I want to go to college—Becca, don't you dare make a crack about my grades.”

Daniel sighed, tilting his head back until he was looking at the clouds. “Would you ever consider just calling the guy? Saying, ‘Hey look, Dad, I miss you and all but I have a job out here and my friends, and I just don't want to move'? You know, talk to him man to man?”

Chase stared at Daniel, unblinking, for a moment. “I guess it can't hurt to try.”

31

CHASE

Candy agreed almost immediately that Chase should call Walter. Her eyes brightened and she ran to find Walter's phone number. Daisy crouched at his feet, and Candy sank down next to her. Dialing the numbers, Chase didn't know whether he wanted Walter to pick up or not. Might be kind of nice to get the machine. The machine couldn't yell at him, couldn't make him feel the size of an insect, couldn't laugh.

No such luck. “Done Rite Roof Repair, this is Walter.” His voice had that singsong customer service quality. It sounded nothing like the voice Chase remembered.

Chase seriously considered hanging up. But he figured Walter would call right back, pissed now that someone had crank-called him. So he waited for the words to come to him. They seemed to get stuck somewhere in his throat.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” Chase barely whispered.

“You've reached Done Rite Roof Repair, what can we do you for?”

“Walter—Dad—it's me, Chase.”

The pause circled around him, making him dizzy. He'd just about convinced himself that Walter didn't remember him when he heard a response. “Well, shit.” That was a Walter hello if he'd ever heard one. “Haven't heard from you in going on three years.”

Chase nodded, forgetting that Walter couldn't see him. Daisy edged closer, as if she was trying to protect him from an invisible enemy. “I … I … uh … ” Chase stuttered stupidly. “Walter—I have a girlfriend out here now.”

Again the long pause. “Well … all
right
.” Walter said with forced enthusiasm, like Chase had just scored a touchdown. “How's
that
going?”

Now it was Chase's turn to give a labored pause. He felt torn. Brag to his dad and try to earn some respect, or honor the girl he loved? He might have gone for the bragging, but Daisy and his mother sat there listening to his every word. “It's just that … I don't want to leave Simi.” Chase felt little bubbles of sweat gather at his brow. “I want to see you—Daisy does too—I just, I don't want to move away from my girlfriend.”

Quiet. It struck Chase that he'd spent more of this conversation in silence than with words. If Walter had been standing in front of him, Chase would have been scared shitless, sure, but at least the silence wouldn't have felt so uncomfortable.

“You got my letter, then.” Walter's voice sounded strained. “You're telling me you don't want to come live with me for the summer?” Chase searched for the words, all too aware that his pause told his father more than words ever could. “I'm not talking full time here, just summer and maybe a couple of months at the beginning of the school year.”

“Next year is my senior year, Dad.”

“I haven't seen you in three years.”

Suddenly Chase felt brave. Walter wasn't about to reach his hand through the phone and strangle him. He could say what he wanted. “Honestly, I haven't had any windshields shattered over me recently, and I haven't minded so much,” he said, then waited. No response, so he went for it again. “Candy hasn't broken her arm in a while either.”

Chase could almost hear Walter grinding his teeth through the phone. “Look, Chase.” Walter spoke so softly that Chase actually leaned forward. “I'm different now. I stopped drinking. I'm hitting twelve-step meetings a couple times a week.” Chase thought about pointing out the irony in the word “hitting” but decided against it.

Instead he held the phone away from his ear, trying to read Candy's expression. The silence worked in his favor. “Hey kid, I'm not gonna force you guys to come stay with me, but I just want you to know that I'm different now. And I miss you.”

There were a thousand things Chase wanted to say.
Why contact us now, after all this time? Do you really want to see us, or do you just want to get out of paying child support? If you care about us so much, why don't you come visit?
Of course, he said none of that. He'd gotten what he wanted, an out. Chase sighed. “We'll stop by next time we pass through Bakersfield.” He had never been to Bakersfield in his life.

“Hey, can I talk to Candy for a minute?” Candy and Daisy sat so close to the phone that they could hear his voice anyway. Candy shook her head back and forth, mouthing excuses.

“She's not here right now.” Chase lied. “She's uh … ”

It sounded like Walter held the phone away from him while he cursed. He obviously hadn't changed
that
much. “Just tell her to call me. Tell her we're two civilized adults. We should be able to have a conversation every once in a while.” Candy raised her eyebrow at the word “civilized.”

When Chase said good-bye, he felt his whole body lighten. Daisy grinned and Candy laughed nervously. “Damn. I never would have thought it would be that easy,” she said.

“
Easy?
” Now that it was over, Chase's anger surged. “
I
was the one on the phone, not you.” Candy tightened her ponytail, and suddenly she looked very young. “Why wouldn't you talk to him? He can't break your arm over the phone!”

Candy's eyes flashed. “Lay off it.”

“No, come on,” Chase insisted. “Why don't you ever have any balls?” His voice gathered strength, like all the things he didn't say to Walter had built up, gathering force like water behind a dam. “You
never
stood up for us. Sure,
he
hurt me. But you
let him
hurt me. Who's more to blame?”

Suddenly the sight of Candy in front of him, chickening out as always, sickened him. He couldn't stand to look at her one second longer. He squeezed his eyes shut and slammed his fist into the palm of his hand. It stung like a bitch, though, and that brought him back to reality. Wary, he opened his eyes, only to see Daisy inching backward, arms crossed like she was literally holding herself together. She looked scared. Of him.

He paced his breathing.
Relax.
He could feel his adrenaline shooting through his veins. “Don't worry, Daze. I'll stay cool.” He looked back at Candy. Maybe he'd go for a run. That would help him chill. “I'll drop it, Candy, I promise. I just have to say one more thing.” Now his voice steadied. “Pull it together and start acting like a mother.”

Candy opened her mouth as if to say something, but she closed it again, her words unsaid.

32

CHASE

Rose had always thought “lovesick” was nothing more than an expression. But here she was, hunched over the toilet, praying to puke so that she'd feel better. Thoughts raced through her head over and over, like an iPod stuck on repeat.
Chase is gonna move away. He'll leave me, just like everyone else. I was a goddamn idiot to think this time would be different. That someone would actually step up for me.
Any flashes of hope fizzled.
I will be left with my jail keepers. I don't even have a best friend to vent to.
Ever since Becca got all up in Rose's face about the Parsimmons, things had been strained.

She went back to her room and lay on her twin bed, one arm flung over her eyes. It didn't help that heat had settled over the Valley early this year. Barely May, and already the house felt hot as a toaster oven. The porch wasn't much cooler, even with the Santa Anas blowing through.

She flung herself onto her comforter and buried her face, blaming Mrs. P. for the Pepto-Bismol pink that coated everything in the room. Too hot to lie facedown for long, she rolled over. The wardens came to check on her, as expected, before they went to bed. She pretended to be asleep. Eyes closed, one arm draped over them, lips slightly parted, and slow, deep breathing. She heard the creak of the footsteps approaching and then the slight brush of air as the door swung open. They stood and watched her.

She heard Mr. P. whisper, “She looks sort of sweet when she's asleep.” And Hursula's quiet response, “I know. If only she stayed that way when she was awake.” Then the brush of air again as the door closed, a gentle thud against the door frame, and the creaking of the steps moving away.

This was the time of night Rose normally psyched herself up for the evening escape. She usually waited another hour or so, of course, until there was no movement within the house, but tonight, there seemed to be no point in going to Chase's. Why? So she could love him more? So she could have sex with him? So he could go off to his father's and leave her alone? She'd trusted him, she'd opened up to him, and now he'd be leaving her.

She fell asleep there, her thoughts still tossing and turning while her body slept. She woke at midnight to hear a tiny cluster of taps against her window. It sounded like a tree branch rustling in the wind, but she knew there were no tree branches directly against the window. She leaped out of bed, her heart instantly bumping around in her chest. Again, light tapping. In one quick movement she threw back the pink flowered curtains. There, nose pressed against the glass, stood Chase, his hair tousled and wind blown.

After the initial wave of shock passed, Rose rushed forward and put her finger to her lips.
Shhh!
She eased the window up slowly, soundlessly. She carefully removed the screen from the window and gestured for him to climb in. “What the hell are you doing?” she hissed, not sure whether to be mad or glad for the company.

“I had to see you,” he whispered back, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek, and she shivered. “I emailed you, but you didn't respond, and I didn't want you to worry.”

Her throat caught for a second. She swallowed. “Well, tell me.”

“I'm not going to my dad's.”

“No shit?” Rose tried to sound casual, but she was pretty sure she didn't.

“My dad always had this image of what he wanted me to become. Tough, you know. Maybe even kind of a player.”

“A player?”

“I'm not, of course. You're the only one I've ever really been with. But all he knows is I have a girlfriend. And I told him I won't leave you.”

Suddenly, Rose's insides felt like she'd just sipped a mug of hot chocolate and could feel the warmth slipping down inside her. “
You won't leave me
,” she repeated.

Chase pulled something from behind his back. A single stem. A rose. He kissed her forehead. “I know you think giving you a rose is corny. But I don't.” He put the rose between his teeth and stepped closer. “I'd kiss you with this in my mouth, but I don't want to poke you with a thorn,” he mumbled around the stem.

“You're a dumb ass,” she breathed, loving him. “I might have the flu. I shouldn't kiss you anyway.”

“Any flu you have, I want.”

“You're an idiot. I'll have to beat you up.” She gingerly took the stem from his lips. “You broke two rules. Rule number one: coming to my house. Rule number two: you're not supposed to be in charge, remember?”

Chase wrapped his arm around her. “We might have to renegotiate that.” He pulled her toward her pink bed in her pink room. “And if you must beat me up—go ahead.”

Rose leaned forward to pin him to her mattress. She wrapped her hands around his wrists and put weight on her arms. Without warning—no creaks, no thuds, no warning movement in the air—the bedroom door swung open. There stood Hursula, in a light flowered nightgown, staring at the two of them. Her eyes turned hard enough to cut glass.