The Orphans (Orphans Trilogy Book 1) (14 page)

“Full,” Charlie said, finishing his last morsel of meat.

All of the other orphans agreed.

“You might not notice any difference just yet,” Malika said, “but in time, you will all feel a stronger sense of self-reliance. And that is not the only benefit you will receive. Much of the food you purchase in stores is highly processed and inflammatory. It prevents your body from absorbing any of the nutrients you ingest, which negatively impacts your physical energy and mental clarity. Cleaning your diet will help clean your body and mind, and allow both to operate more efficiently.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie said. “My body is already a well-oiled machine.” He flexed his arms like a bodybuilder and then gave each of his biceps a kiss.

Naomi pointed to the sweat accumulating on Eddie’s forehead. “I’d go with a greasy machine over well-oiled.”

“Same difference.”

“We shall see soon enough,” Malika said. “Each of you is about to change in ways that you could never imagine. And it starts right now, with your first lesson.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Malika retrieved one
of the discarded skewers that was lying on the ground and stuck the tip into the fire. Once it caught, she removed the skewer and blew on the lit end. The tiny ember pulsed and expanded spherically, the hue shifting from a reddish-orange to a bright yellow. She continued to blow on the bright bulb. With each subsequent breath, the flame grew in magnitude, while the glow progressed up the thermal spectrum. After the last exhalation, the incandescent orb had reached the size of a softball and was as blue as the blaze from a butane torch. Malika swirled her newly formed fire wand with a quick flick of the wrist.

The orphans watched in awe as a matching flame sparked up from the ground like burners on an old gas stove. The flames were no more than a couple inches high and encircled their little camp. The ring of fire seemed to come at the expense of their campfire, which went completely dark.

Malika whipped both of her arms high above her head as if she were conducting an orchestra. The previously restrained circle of flames shot upwards, arching above the orphans and creating a radiant cobalt dome.

“We’re gonna get cooked alive!” JP shouted as he dove from his seat.

The other orphans, reacting equally to the enclosing inferno and to JP’s screams, tucked their heads in between their legs and covered the backs of their heads with their hands.

“Do not worry,” Malika said. “The flames are harmless.”

The orphans tentatively let down their guards and lifted their heads from their laps.

Still skeptical, Charlie carefully raised his hand toward the flickering wall of flame that enclosed them. Any lingering fears of a fiery death that he still held immediately vanished. “They’re not hot at all,” Charlie said. If anything, it was the most neutral temperature he had ever experienced. “I don’t even feel anything.”

“That is the point,” Malika said. “Because of the many years of conditioning that each of you has been subjected to, you are all too easily distracted. The chamber I have created eliminates any potential interference from the outside world. Within this sacred space, there is no sound, no sight, no smell, no touch, and no taste.”

“Apparently, there are no warnings, either,” JP grumbled as he picked himself up off of the ground. “You could have told us it was coming first.”

“Your displeasure is duly noted,” Malika said.

JP dusted off his clothes and then retook his seat.

“Eventually,” Malika said, “you will be able to block out any distractions on your own when it is called for. But for now, this will help you focus for your first lesson, which is the foundation of your development. Much as you cannot walk before you crawl, if you are to truly believe in yourself, you must first learn to love yourself.”

“I already got that one down,” Eddie said. “If anything, I might love myself too much. If you know what I mean.” He made a gesture like he was shaking dice; however, he was referring to shaking something much more inappropriate.

“Pretty sure she didn’t mean that,” Naomi said. “But thanks for the visual, you perv.”

Malika continued, undeterred by Eddie’s joking. “But in order to cultivate an unconditional love of yourself, you must first get to know your divine self.”

“What’s our divine self?” Charlie asked.

“It is all of your intrinsic desires, unencumbered by any learned judgments,” Malika said. “It is your truest self, your spirit. The stronger the connection between mind and spirit, the stronger you are. In complete harmony, the Beasts will be unable to overpower you. But all it takes is the slightest crack in your armor, your belief of self, and you will be susceptible.”

“So, how do we achieve this harmony?” Antony said.

“Awareness. You must bring awareness to all of the doubt that is stored deep inside of you. This acknowledgement, combined with the understanding that you have created these thoughts, empowers you to release them by consciously letting them go,” Malika said. “In the absence of negativity, positivity will prosper.”

JP was skeptical. “That’s it?” he said.

Malika nodded. “Yes, but to even become aware of the self-doubt that you harbor, first you must have a conversation with yourself and afford your divine self the opportunity to speak. You must ask yourself to reveal the biggest block, or impediment, to loving all that you are.”

“So I just ask myself what my biggest block is,” Eddie said, “and my divine self will be like, ‘Hey, Eddie, this is what’s wrong with you, you big weirdo.’ Sounds easy enough.”

“Do not underestimate the difficulty of this task,” Malika said. “Identifying the problem is often the most difficult part of finding a solution. Rarely will your mind be so honest. It has been conditioned to conceal its true thoughts and conform to society’s constructs. Most likely, you will need to ask yourself more than once. You may have to ask yourself one thousand times, and receive one thousand different answers, before you attain the correct one. But until you uncover your biggest block and let it go, you will not be able to truly let the rest of your pent-up negativity go and free your divine self from society’s shackles.”

The orphans didn’t respond.

Malika could tell by the looks on their faces that they had already begun trying to have the conversations with themselves. “I will give you as much time as you need,” she said. “I encourage you to close your eyes to help eliminate any potential visual distractions from within the chamber.”

The orphans obliged, closing their eyes.

Malika continued, “And keep in mind that your block can manifest itself in a multitude of ways. It may appear as anger, fear, or just about any other negative emotion. All you need to do is relax, center your thoughts, and let your divine self speak.”

The orphans sat in silence.

Ten minutes passed. Then twenty.

After thirty minutes, Antony opened his eyes. Malika greeted him with a smile. He gave his own half-smile back.

One by one, the other orphans followed, all of them greeted with the same smile from Malika. Charlie was the last to open his eyes. Once he did, Malika retook the floor.

“While awareness begins the process of letting go of your mental block,” Malika said, “sharing that block and really admitting it to others is integral to accelerating its expulsion. With that in mind, who would like to share first? Antony, you were the first to open your eyes.”

“I still need to think about it more,” Antony said.

“That is fine,” Malika said. “Anyone else?”

A couple seconds passed without a volunteer. Then, finally, Naomi stepped up. “I guess I can,” she said. “But mine is stupid.”

“All negative thoughts are, especially if you give them power over you.”

“Yeah, I don’t disagree,” Naomi said. “I’d have to say my biggest block has always been my body.”

“That’s crazy,” Charlie blurted out. Naomi narrowed her eyes at him. “I meant that in a good way,” he said, trying to recover. “You have a great—”

“That is enough, Charlie,” Malika said, holding her hand up to stop him. “Your validation is unnecessary.” She faced Naomi. “One’s physical appearance is an incredibly common source of negativity and doubt. And while that is especially true for women your age, it is also true that everyone here suffers from it to varying degrees.”

“She’s right,” Eddie agreed. “I was actually just kidding about all that well-oiled machine stuff.”

“I was kidding about the greasy stuff,” Naomi apologized.

“I know.” Eddie said with a half-smile.

Malika continued, “Here is a little piece of history: Since the creation of mankind, the so-called measures of beauty have changed many times over. In fact, at one point or another, all qualities have been considered ideal. Do not think that Lucifer did not play a role in that. His footprints can be found every step of the way. Most of his work is conducted off of the battlefield and is concentrated on weakening the human spirit. His objective was to make sure that everyone could conceivably question their own beauty. But true beauty is not a moving target. It is something that exists abundantly inside everyone and appears in every smile.”

Encouraged by Malika’s words, Naomi couldn’t help but let loose a toothy grin.

“That is exactly what I speak of,” Malika said. “Instead of emphasizing your appearance, you must remember that your physical body is merely a vessel. The only concern you should have for it is that you maintain it through good health. Now tell me something you love about yourself, unrelated to your physical appearance.”

“Uh, okay,” Naomi said and then considered her options for a few seconds. “I guess I love how sharp my memory is. It’s almost photographic.” Her smile crept back across her face. “I’m also great writer,” she exclaimed. “I really love that. And I can always tell a song on the radio right after it starts to play.”

“Perfect,” Malika said.

“There are more things I like, too,” Naomi said excitedly. “They’re all just popping into my head.”

Naomi’s enthusiasm was infectious. Charlie soaked up her energy and the glow created by her grin, which made her even more alluring.

“Of course they are,” Malika said. “By choosing to focus on those things you love about yourself, you begin to view yourself in a whole new light. Eventually, you will only find things to love. But first, you must completely release your block. Tell yourself that you are free to let go of the belief that your body should be any other way than how it is right now. Repeat it as many times as you need to hear it.”

The others waited while Naomi closed her eyes and did as she had been told. A minute later, she slowly reopened her eyes. “Thank you,” she said to Malika with a newfound calmness in her voice.

“Thank yourself,” Malika said. “And if your negative thoughts ever resurface, simply release them again and replace them with two positive thoughts.” Malika spoke to the group. “That technique is something that all of you can benefit from. Who’s next? JP?”

“Why not?” JP said. “But I feel like I need to say that mine is stupid, too.”

“Say what you must,” Malika said.

“It’s stupid because he doesn’t have problems,” Eddie said.

“I wish that was true,” JP said. “I’ve got my fair share. But I’d have to say my biggest block is”—he hung his head, peered at his feet, took a deep breath, and sighed it out before picking his head back up—“well, I’ve just been hurt so many times in my life. I guess that I’ve kind of convinced myself that maybe they’re hurting me because of me. That maybe I somehow deserve it. That maybe I’m the one that’s flawed. That maybe I’m not meant to be loved.”

JP’s words clearly struck a chord with Naomi.

Charlie watched as she put her hand on his leg.

“No one deserves to be hurt,” Malika said. “No one deserves pain. But you are allowing yourself to be hurt by determining your own value based on the opinions and actions of other people.”

“It’s hard not to,” JP said.

“That does not alter the fact that the opinions of others should never dictate your own sense of self. The only sustainable belief comes from within. No one should ever believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Conversely, you should never believe in anyone else more than you believe in yourself. Know that you have value and love yourself unconditionally, and you will attract more love than you could ever imagine, and it will be directed toward the true you.”

JP smiled. He put his hand on top of Naomi’s, which was still on his thigh, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Charlie couldn’t help but feel jealous. An overwhelming desire to have the attention—particularly Naomi’s attention—on him swelled deep inside. “I’ll go next,” Charlie exclaimed, with more enthusiasm than he intended. His excitement quickly faded as all eyes turned to him.

“Let JP finish first,” Malika said.

“I’m actually done.” JP said.

“Not yet,” Malika said and then reminded JP that he still had to release his feelings that he didn’t deserve to be loved. After he had, Malika turned to Charlie. “Now you may go.”

“Okay. Well, um, I don’t actually know where to start.” Charlie paused for a moment. “I’ve never liked my body. I’ve always wished I was taller and stronger and a lot of other things. And sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever really find love.” He glanced at Naomi to see if she was still looking at him. She wasn’t. Charlie continued, “I guess I—”

“Need to focus harder,” Malika said, cutting Charlie off before he rambled any further. “You are overlooking the one block that is bigger than the others. Close your eyes and ask yourself once more what your strongest negative emotion is.”

Charlie nodded, and then closed his eyes. After a couple seconds, he slowly reopened them. “It’s fear,” he said with a seriousness that had been lacking before. “Fear of failure.”

“To unlearn such a fear, you must first establish the meaning of success. What do you consider to be success?”

“Saving my parents,” Charlie said without hesitation.

“Of course. But this fear has been with you for longer than your parents have not. How else do you define success?”

Charlie shrugged. “The same way everyone does. Money.”

“Do you all share this a feeling?” Malika asked the rest of the orphans. They all nodded in agreement. She turned back to Charlie. “What if you amassed a sizable fortune, and then one day, the markets crashed and you lost most of your money? Would you still consider yourself successful?”

Charlie wasn’t quite sure how to answer the question.

“Of course,” JP said, jumping in. “Because even if he lost his money, he’d still have some assets, like a sick mansion and maybe a yacht. And at the end of the day, he’d still have relatively more than everyone else.”

“I see,” Malika said. “So money is not just a means to transact, it is a means for comparison, and success is a comparison as well. You versus everyone else, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you agree, Charlie?”

“Sure,” Charlie said.

“Then imagine that the whole world is turned back to zero. Everything you have earned is gone, by no mistake of your own, and you now have the same monetary worth as everyone else. Would you still consider yourself successful?”