Frank couldn't have anticipated it taking this long. He felt things should have gone quicker, already having
a formula to start with. He was wrong, and it seemed like the further he got away from the original formula the worse he did. He had even gone so far as trying to contact some of the original team that he had worked with, but to no avail. They had either dropped off the edge of the Earth or were dead. Watching the woman he loved get sicker and weaker over the last four months did little for his optimism. Seeing the confidence she had in him to save her life and the hope in her eyes took a little piece of his heart each day.
She never once complained, but periodically in their late night conversations, when he'd take a break from the lab, she would ask him how the conversion from the original formula to the new version was going.
"It's hard to say, Karen. I promise I'm trying, with every ounce of will I have, to make it work. I just can't test it on you until it's right. In your state, I don't think your body would handle it if things didn't work, or God forbid they somehow sped up the cancer."
Karen lay next to him quietly. "I just feel like we're beginning to run out of time, Frank. I'd rather try the drug and have it fail then never have tried anything. The end result will be the same. The doctors tell me I have a few months at best left."
Frank sat up and slid his clothes back on.
"Oh, Frank! I'm sorry! I know it's all we talk about, but it's just so scary! Don't leave, baby. I didn't mean to upset you. We can just rest for a while longer. It's fine."
"You're not upsetting me, but you're right about time. If I don't get it figured out soon we'll have to tell Ellie and Shaun. Shaun knows that your papers said 'terminal'.”
He bent down and kissed her lips and then kissed her forehead as she laid back on the pillow. "You will take care of Ellie if something--" she began.
Frank reached down and put his finger to her lips. "Don't, Karen. You know I will, but please don't start these conversations yet. I'm going back to the lab. I'm going to call Rogers back in to check this last batch of data. It doesn't need to wait until morning. The results should be ready to analyze by now, I'd think. I made some drastic changes and want to see how the rats are doing with it."
"God, I hope so Frank. More than anything, it's weird to be this age and have to worry about my mortality on a daily basis. To tell you the truth, I'm more worried about Ellie than I am myself. Is that strange?"
Franks shook his head, looking out the door to make sure Ellie wasn't lingering. "It's not weird at all. It's just instinct. I won't stop until I have it, baby. I won't quit."
"I love you, Frank. I think that I need some rest."
Frank smiled, pulling the blankets up over her now thin, bony shoulders, and knew she wasn't tired.
She was dying.
They both knew it and Frank couldn't make the drug any faster. The cancer was winning, but he was about to change things if he had his way. He walked out to his truck with slow tears, thinking harder and harder. Thinking was all he did these days, besides worrying.
****
Ellie looked out the window. The clock on her bedside cabinet showed it was eleven thirty. She looked at Tina. "Well, he didn't stay long."
Tina sat her phone down and looked up, smiling. "Maybe he was just getting a quickie, you know ... refreshing the batteries."
Ellie laughed. "That look on my face just then was a little puke in my mouth!"
"Do you want to go check on your mom and make sure everything's okay?"
Ellie shook her head, sat back on her bed, and watched Tina. She wanted to change the subject to something besides cancer--it had been the only subject in the house for months. "Who are you chatting with tonight?"
Tina smiled. "The boys, of course!"
Ellie leaned up on the bed trying to take a look at Tina's phone. "Well, that narrows it down to about half the people on Earth."
"Well, if you must know, dear, I'm talking to the deliciously attractive Shawn and Greg. They're hanging out at Shaun's house tonight unsupervised."
Ellie got uncomfortable hearing her talk that way about Shaun. She was still very interested in him but didn't think it fair with her mom being so sick. She also didn't want to tell him to wait because she didn't know who she'd be inside when this was finally over. "What do you mean 'the deliciously attractive' Shaun? I thought you liked that kid from Dallas Center from Shaun's wrestling camp tournament last month."
Tina sunk into the bean bag chair, typing away. "Well, I did like him until I saw Shaun with his tight uniform painted on. Besides, he's like one of the only boys I can talk to who doesn't sit and stare at my boobs the entire conversation. He isn't gay, is he?"
Ellie sat up. "That uniform's called a singlet, and he isn't gay!"
Tina smiled at her. "I don't care what you call it--I think he looked amazing in it! What are you getting so uptight about?"
Ellie rolled her eyes and sat up. "Shaun's free to date who he wants. I've been too busy with my mom to worry about anyone else."
"I just wanted to make sure you're cool if we ended up dating. I don't even know if he's interested in me. Although I'm hoping maybe that little outfit I bought for this tomorrow’s volleyball homecoming rally will be enough to grab his attention for once."
"Yeah? I don't know if I'll be able to go. My mom needs me close by. If the three of you want to go, send me a picture from the rally."
"It's been four months since she started those new drugs. I don't understand how she isn't looking any better yet. Do her doctors suck?"
Ellie wiped at fresh tears. "I have no idea. Frank found the doctors. He's engaged to my mom now. He wouldn't get the woman he loves crappy doctors. She said she doesn't know, since it's a trial drug, how long it will take, but I don't know how much more she can handle, Tina. Really, what's the point of taking all that crap if it doesn't do anything?"
Tina got up from the chair and set her phone down. She sat next to Ellie putting a arm around her. "Hey, she'll be okay. She's engaged to a doctor, and he won't let anything bad happen."
****
Shaun looked over at Greg, "Dude, I'm telling you the internet is fine. My dad has a block on that kind of stuff. He set it up last week."
Greg leaned back in the computer chair. "Doesn't your dad trust you?"
"Yes, but he doesn't trust you. Remember I told you last week he picked up my phone by accident and saw a string of text messages from you? Believe it or not, he found it less than funny."
Greg looked around the room. "He doesn't have much of a sense of humor these days, does he?"
"I'm not sure he ever did. He lives in that lab trying to get a cure for her."
"Really? Your dad thinks he's going to be the guy who finds the cure for cancer?"
Shaun shrugged. "Well, they keep saying they don't know how long before the medicine she's on will start working, but I think maybe the reason for it is because she isn't taking anything more than vitamins. She's getting worse because she's dying."
"Why isn't she taking any real drugs?"
Shaun sat up on his elbow. "If I tell you something, you have to promise me you'll keep your mouth shut."
"Sure."
"No, I mean it! Like I'll break your damn head open if you tell Ellie or Tina. I don't care if they threaten you with your life!"
"You mean like you're doing to me right now?"
"Exactly."
"I get it--don't tell anyone."
Shaun looked him over before responding. "Ellie doesn't know, but the papers she had on her mom, when she explained them to me, mentioned she has stage five cancer."
Greg nodded slowly, staring.
"You have no idea what I'm saying, do you, Greg?"
Greg shook his head, staring.
"It means she's dying. In the cancer world, terminal means death. There is no cure so that's why she isn't taking drugs."
"So ... your dad is doing everything he can to cure her. That's kind of cool, isn't it? I mean, you have to respect that, don't you?"
Shaun thought of his mom and how he would have felt about his dad had he saved her. "Yeah, I guess. I just don't want to have to face Ellie if he doesn't come through. What she's going through now is minor compared to really losing someone."
"Hey, if your dad cures cancer and whatever, think about it! You'd never have to work in your entire life! Think of the first car he'd buy you! Oh my God, the girls you'd have lined up! Tina would go crazy!"
Shaun smiled loving how Greg could find a positive for every negative and somehow relate it to sex. "I don't know if I'm ready to date someone. I still like Ellie, but she's kind of busy right now."
Greg slapped him on the chest. "Dude! Tina's totally into you! You told me yourself, Ellie and you had that one night and then lady luck shot your puppy. You're fourteen now. How can't you be ready to date? Your heart's beating, right?"
Shaun lay back on his bed. "Don't remind me, Greg! I'm perfectly aware of what Tina looks like."
****
Rogers had been going round and round about what to do or not do all week. If it worked he and Frank would be deemed biochemist gods with appreciation from all, and was more than happy to share the awards and fame and endless money with his boss. Until someone cured AIDS, there would be no one who could hold a candle to their achievement.
He felt cancer was a bigger threat anyways. He got out of bed seeing it was only eight in the evening. He knew Dr. Fox had left for the night because he'd backed up his work online. He had planned on doing it on a Saturday or Sunday when the building would be least occupied. He knew Saturday night was either a church night, a family night, or, on a wonderful warm night like tonight, everyone would be sitting out by backyard fires. Being so close to summer, everyone wanted to enjoy the cool spring weather while they could.
He powered down the laptop he used to check if the boss was there, and set off to make history. One day everyone would thank him for his insight, his initiative, and for being a risk taker--not scared to break a few eggs. The building would be almost empty at this time of night. Rogers was trying not to speed on the way. He was a huge music fan and was listening to the radio, tapping his hands on the steering wheel, and doing a wonderful job at singing off-key karaoke. He found a spot up front and tried not to run into the building.
He entered a nine digit key code for late night access and opened the large glass door. He went by the security guard desk and swiped his badge across the reader, nodding to Chuck the night security guard. Chuck was looking at a guns and ammo magazine and set it down to observe the short pudgy man currently disturbing him. Chuck was a tall man in his early sixties, counting the days until he could retire at his weekend camper home by the lake with his wife, Evelyn. He was a retired infantry soldier without enough money to live day to day on his military pension. He was rubbing his thick gray handlebar mustache, watching that Rogers followed security protocol to a T. He finally acknowledged Rogers once his face popped up on his large, flat screen monitor. In a raspy smoker's voice he asked, "You burnin' the candle at both ends tonight, doc?"
Rogers stopped. "Yes. Well, we won't get ahead if we don't put one foot in front of the other, will we?" He smiled a bright toothy grin full of confidence and saluted the guard with the wrong hand. It did about as much good as a smack in the face would have. He marched on to the elevator quickly, never looking back.