The Other Fish in the Sea (18 page)

“I know, I wasn’t either. And I’m still bothered by that even though I didn’t know what I do now. But that night along with this one also tells me how too much booze makes you lose all inhibition…Camie, remember what I said earlier about a set of rules I hold myself to?”

“Yeah.” I thought his rules were only about safe sex, but, apparently there’s more to them. Huh.

“Well, this scenario falls into one of the, albeit few things I
won’t
do.”

“Are you honestly trying to tell me you’ve never once screwed around or had sex with a girl who was drunk?” Yeah, I’d like to see him deny that one because, uh hello? Mike’s party? Yeah, I was there, that was me.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I don’t coerce
or
take advantage of girls, and there was always
informed
consent. Besides, this is…different.”

“How?”

“For starters, you haven’t been informed, but mostly…this is
you
and well, I…”

He stopped suddenly and rested his forehead on my tummy for a moment, sighed deeply and then gave it another sweet kiss before continuing, but I don’t think he said what he’d been about to say before he stopped. Also, I would like to point out how much I really love these little moments of openness and fragility when he uses words as well as action to express how he feels about me. They don’t happen very often, but when they do, my heart swells.

 
“I don’t want you to have to be drunk to be with me. Baby, you and I both know this isn’t you talking, it’s the alcohol. You’re
not
ready…you’d have regrets and I’d never be able to live with myself.”
 

“So, did we just add a clause to our contract?” I asked, thinking he’s absolutely correct, because right at this moment I wouldn’t, but tomorrow? Yes. I’d have regrets. So yeah, I owe him one.
 

He laughed and sounded relieved in the knowledge that I’m not going to push this further. Odd, I know. We’ve done a little role reversal tonight. We’ll go back to our regular wolf and lamb roles tomorrow I’m sure.

“I’ve never liked it, but yeah. We need a designated hitter rule. In the event that you’ve been drinking, I don’t swing at what you throw regardless of whether we like it or not.”

“To be clear, I need to be sober for everything we do that we haven’t already done, but you can drink to your heart’s content.” I’m just trying to be specific as he is so fond of saying and being that he loves looking for loopholes. Although I kind of doubt he’s gonna look for a loophole on this one because it’s his rule and he seems pretty damned serious about it.

“Umm, yes and no. I should probably walk a line on the drinking and honestly…if or when it happens, I’d like to be sober for the main event too.”

Aww
, he wants to be sober when he puts my notch on his bedpost. Can he
get
any sweeter? No, I don’t think so either.

“Okay. You might have to remind me about this though.” Truthfully, even though simple kissing has gotten a
little
better, I still don’t think anywhere near straight when we make-out which is unnerving in itself, but then throw in alcohol, which is like a little courage in a shot to me when I would otherwise not be quite so impetuous in my actions, and you’ve got a recipe for bad decision making and contract violating. And let’s not forget
who
wanted the contract in the first place and
why
I wanted it.

“And that’s why I should walk a line on the drinking. Because honestly, Camie, it takes an
inordinate
amount of self-control for me to be with you like this and still stick to our contract and not break a rule or five like I did at Mike’s.” Yeah, I’m totally playing with fire…

“How have you managed to not break your rules before now? Before me I mean.” I’m saying before me because he’s counting what happened at Mike’s as breaking a rule even though I went along with everything and he didn’t know about my pure state of being at the time.

“I’ve
never
needed self-control to not take advantage of a girl before, Camie. Like what happens when we kiss and when we fight, I’ve only experienced that with you.
Just
you. Baby, you’re different…
we’re
different. It’s just another element of God’s warped version of Thunderdome.”

“And God’s laughing at you.”

“God is rollin’ on the fuckin’ clouds laughin’ His fuckin’
ass
off, yes.” Tristan then followed up that admission with another chuckle and a zerbert to my tummy.

In the end, my pants came off and a pair of his came back on and stayed on, even though I
did
make a feeble attempt to get him back out of them once. Don’t ask why, I really didn’t have a reason other than him having a really nice butt that I kinda wanted to get my hands on without the deterrent of denim. He just simply took both my hands in one of his, put them above my head and threatened me with handcuffs.

“Camie, you’re fuckin’ killin’ me. Do I need to handcuff you to protect yourself?”

“You wouldn’t.” Look who I’m talking about…of course he would.

He started chuckling at me and said, “I totally would…I just don’t own any.”

I just stared at him. I don’t know
why
, but I’m kind of surprised he doesn’t keep a pair as a staple. You know, like in a road hazard kit for sexual deviants.

Costco sized carton of condoms
✓

Handcuffs
✓

Mexican poncho
✓

Etc…

Tristan started laughing at my silence and then with self-deprecating humor he said, “Shocker, huh? I do have bungee cords though, so quit it.”

Well okey dokey then. I
am
wondering if the bungee cords (
✓
) are wrapped around the poncho, though.

Anyway, we had ourselves a rather enjoyable, non-sober, non-naked game of Thunderdome which all would’ve been fine and good except that when it was over and we snuggled up to go to sleep for a bit, we were both so tired (or in my case, a lot bit drunk) that neither of us heard the alarm go off.
Or
the person entering the locked bus in the morning…

“Alright, Superman, time to wake up…”

My eyes popped open and I heard Tristan groan in defeat as his hand relinquished its relaxed position between my still naked breasts. Swallowing a disgruntled groan of my own and turning to face him, I saw that he had propped himself up on an elbow and was looking at my sister who was completely dressed in her riding gear. Still partially asleep and confused about why she was there, I rolled onto my back and tried to sit up while holding the blanket to my chest and realized she was studying him with one of those soul searching looks that I can never quite decipher. I can’t even begin to explain how frustrating it is when she looks at someone like this—even when I’m fully awake.
 

“What time is it?” I asked and fumbled around the small shelf next to me looking for a watch or a phone to see for myself.

“In five, four, three, two, one…” she answered after glancing at her watch and then meeting my eyes.

Aw crap. The sound of a guitar made to sound like a chainsaw and a pretty freaking cool drum line introducing Van Halen’s “Poundcake” gave me the answer.

“Aw
shit
. How much is
this
gonna fuckin’ cost me?”

“There’s a little matter of urgency here so if you don’t want anyone else to see you two in flagrante delicto, you both have less than two minutes to get fully dressed. I suggest you get Camie clothed first.”

“Why?” I asked, catching my clothes as she tossed them to me. I should mention that she brought my boots, chest guard and helmet I’d left in the tent last night too. She planned this.

“Because we’re gonna have company.”

“What kind of company?” Tristan asked while he deftly fastened my bra for me as I pulled my arms through my shirt and then began getting into my pants.

“Allies,” Jill answered and turned her back when Tristan quickly exchanged the jeans he’d slept in for his riding pants.

“You’re giving me a pass?” He asked, pulling his jersey over his head and sounding surprised. I think it’s fairly safe to say she’s gonna get that GPS thingy now though.

She looked at him again in that odd, unfathomable way and said, “I’m giving you a pass.”

Seconds after the words were out of her mouth, the driver’s side door opened and in climbed Jeff and Pete, both fully dressed as well.

“Okay, we’re here…why all the secrecy, what the fuck is going on?” Jeff asked, yawning.

“Did you wake anyone up on your way out?” Jillian asked.

“Nu-uh, everyone was asleep. Well, at least I think they were…the song probably woke ‘em up though.”

“But you got out before it started, right?”

“Yeah. No one saw us come around the other side either,” Pete answered with confidence and shared a look with my sister that made me think he’d figured out what this whole thing was about.

“Good.”

“You wanna explain why the hell you woke us up, told us to get dressed without wakin’ anyone up, get outta the tent before the song started and then made us stand out there until Sammy said, ‘I so love my baby’s poundcake’?” Jeff asked with another yawn while crawling onto the bed I’d vacated minutes beforehand.
 

Oh, just for your own edification, “Sammy” is Sammy Hagar. He took over for David Lee Roth as front man when Van Halen got back together. “Poundcake” is the only “Van Hagar” song my dad likes and I happen to agree. Anyway, just thought I’d share…

“You’re cover and Camie wasn’t dressed yet,” Tristan answered and fastened the last of the buckles on his boots.

“We’re cover…oh. So Camie didn’t make it back, big deal. I still don’t get it, why us?”
 
Jeff questioned, cuddling a pillow and completely unaware that he’s being stalked at the moment.

“It had to be you guys because Julia and Bridget just
happened
to crash in the tent last night. If I tried to wake Melissa up they would’ve heard, and with this many of us it looks better anyway.”

“You think they would’ve busted Trist and Camie? What the fuck difference would it make to
them
?” When Ferb pounced on his head, Jeff screamed his surprise. It was hilarious. “Why the
fuck
does she do this shit to me all the time?”

“It’s done out of love,” Tristan said, stroking Ferb who’d padded over to him feeling proud of herself.

“Out of love, yeah right…and what’s the deal with Julia and what’s her name?”

“I don’t trust them…Bridget especially,” Jill replied and turned a contemplative look on me.

“So now what do we do?” Jeff asked, far more alert than he’d been before.

“Now we put on a good show and go for a nice morning ride,” she answered and picked up her helmet.

And we did exactly as she directed. We put on a show of exiting the bus and laughing together, and then we went for a leisurely morning ride. We returned to camp about two hours later to find Melissa and Kate sitting in the camp chairs outside the tent, finishing up breakfast. The bacon looks really good by the way…

“Where is everyone?” Jeff asked, looking around and not seeing any of our peers. There are a few adults hanging out and keeping an eye on the little kids, but all the teens are gone.

“Oh, they’re all riding,” Melissa answered before taking a sip of her orange juice. That looks good too. Maybe I should’ve shoved a donut or something in my mouth before taking off this morning.

“Well actually, they’re not all riding, Julia and Bridget drove to the Beach Store with Parker and Curtis. Curtis looked really pissed too,” Kate put in.

“How long ago did they leave?” Jillian asked like she was just curious.

“Oh, I dunno, maybe thirty min—”

Jillian ignored the rest of Kate’s answer and walked away after glancing at her watch.

“Okay, I like your sister and all, but, she’s weird… So, you guys were all up and out early. I thought after last night everyone would’ve been sleeping in.”

“Yeah well, we would’ve if Maleficent hadn’t chosen us to play a part in her scheme to save Sleeping Beauty’s and Prince Phillip’s asses,” Jeff explained by jerking his chin at Tristan and me, then he gave Kate a good morning kiss and stole a piece of bacon off of her still somewhat uneaten plate of food. I wonder if she’d mind if I did the same. Oh, and aren’t you cracking up at Jeff’s knowledge of children’s movies like I am?
 

“Ah. Well I was just about to talk to Melissa about Br—” Kate was saying when she was interrupted.

“
Holy shit!
What the
hell
is she doing?” Melissa asked with shock and pointed behind us.

The four of us turned to see that Jillian had unhitched the trailer from Pete’s truck and was in the driver’s seat, starting the engine. So yeah, it looks like my sister is about to add grand theft-auto to her list of crimes. We were all stupefied when she revved the engine like she was waiting for something. Pete just looked at her in his truck like he was at a loss and then he took off at a dead run when she put it in gear and started to move forward. I don’t know if she would’ve left without him or not, but she did throw the door open when he caught up to her. She also moved to the passenger seat when Pete jumped onto the running board and pulled himself into the cab to take over the steering wheel and gas pedal. I think we all expected him to stop the truck but, he didn’t. Instead, he pretty much floored it and they took off.

“What the hell was
that
all about?” Kate asked, still looking at the cloud of dust that was left in the wake of their unexpected departure.

“Who knows, maybe she wanted to one-up Brandon and steal a car at a younger age than he did, but really, are any of you all that surprised?” I asked with a chuckle.

“I’m not, I just feel bad for Pete being alone in such close quarters with her majesty queen of the underworld,” Jeff said, shaking his head in dismay.

“Hey Kate, not to be a dick or anything, but you look like shit. What’s the matter with you?” Tristan asked, not being surprised either and not sounding like a dick at all, but a concerned friend. She really doesn’t look all that great.