The Other Fish in the Sea (45 page)

“We wouldn’t
have
to take pictures,” Melissa giggled.
 

Tristan can thank me later because I will totally put my foot down if they try to strip Pete and him naked while they’re sleeping in the same bed. As funny as the two of them and the rest of us think the “Gay Pete” stuff is, Jeff is right. Tristan would be livid if the joke went too far.

“Yeah right, this comin’ from Playboy’s November centerfold,” Jeff taunted with raised eyebrows.

As soon as the words were out of Jeff’s mouth, I immediately looked at Brandon. This is the first time his and Melissa’s little photography session has been brought up with him present, and just because Melissa knows this is just how Jeff is and she’s cool with it, doesn’t mean Brandon will be. Honestly, I wasn’t sure Brandon’s reaction would be even close to a pleasant one and I was sorta concerned about a fight breaking out in my family room. However, Brandon’s inconsistent personality once again presented us with yet another facet of him I haven’t seen before.

He looked at Jeff with those icy gray eyes of his and then with a distinctly superior tone and a mocking grin aimed at Jeff, Brandon asked, “Jealous?”

Jeff looked at him and smiled, but something about how he did made me think he’d been testing Brandon by teasing Melissa that way, and that in Jeff’s mind, Brandon had passed.

“Little bit, but getting back to our previous topic of whether to strip my best friend and Pete naked and whether that would be wise, are you forgetting the devil and her ambition to be published in the National Enquirer?” Jeff asked with a chuckle, referring to my sister who only shrugged her shoulders while nodding in agreement.

“Oh yeah…so what are you thinking?” Melissa asked with some disappointment, and I just barely noticed the tension leave her body as she released it ever so slowly. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who didn’t know how her boyfriend would react to others knowing she’d allowed him to take nude photos of her.

“I’m thinking we should play a little game of twenty questions,” he answered. Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head in exasperation when Jeff looked to all of us for our acceptance.
 

“I don’t get it,” I admitted, and judging from their perplexed expressions, I was obviously stating what everyone else aside from Jeff and Kate was thinking.

“Okay, here’s the deal, it doesn’t happen very often but when Trist falls into a deep sleep after a really physically and mentally exhausting day like today, you can ask him anything and he’ll answer with the cold truth and not remember a fuckin’ thing when he wakes up,” Jeff explained.

“You’re fuckin’ kidding!” Brandon exclaimed, juggling Melissa a little so he could sit up straighter in the recliner, his interest finally having been aroused.

“No, he’s not. He found out about this by accident a few years ago…it can be pretty funny,” Kate confirmed and reiterated her eye rolling but punctuated it with a giggle.

“Oh, we totally gotta fuckin’ do this!” Brandon said, getting excited. I’m sort of apprehensive though. I don’t know why, but I’m reminded again of playing with fire.

“Okay, we have to be careful though. We need to keep it to yes or no questions because if he has to come up with an answer in more words than that, it can get dicey. They’re completely subconscious answers and they don’t always make a lotta sense, so you’re left interpreting what he says for yourself and well…that’s not always the best idea. I did it once and ended up having to wake him up to ask him about what he said because what
I
thought he meant was really fuckin’ ominous and it totally scared the shit outta me, but he had no fuckin’ clue what he meant by what he said. So, just take it as a warning. He’ll tell us the truth and he usually answers with more than a simple yes or no, but it’s better for us if we stick to things that can’t be left up to interpretation, okay? Oh, you also have to say his name before every question, otherwise he won’t know he’s being asked something…everybody got it?”

We all nodded our understanding and I seriously doubt I was alone in wondering what it was Jeff had asked that he got such a portentous answer to. And yeah, I’m more than curious to see how this goes down, but at the same time, I don’t know. I can’t imagine Tristan would be happy with us for probing into his psyche like this.

“Wait, before we start…I gotta say I’m a little unsure about this. I mean wouldn’t he consider this a massive invasion of privacy and get really pissed when he finds out?” I asked and just barely caught the look of respect flash across my sister’s face before she winked at me and turned her attention back to Jeff.

“That’s another reason why we really should just keep it simple. He’s totally aware of this chink in his armor and he might be a
little
grumpy when he finds out we exploited it but, if we just have fun and don’t really dig for personal shit, he’ll laugh it off no problem.”

“But you said he won’t remember anything when he wakes up, so how would he know?” Melissa reasonably asked.
 

“Oh, we’re gonna tell him. It’s way too fucked up not to and besides, if we didn’t and he somehow either remembered or found out,
then
he’d be fuckin’ furious and we’d all have to spend the rest of our lives in hiding…plus, I have too much respect for him to keep it a secret.”

“Okay good, me too. I just wanted to make sure he’d be okay with it,” I said while nodding my head emphatically along with the rest of the gang at Jeff’s anti-secret rule.

“Yeah, he’ll probably swear at me a lot and flip me off because I told you all, but he’ll be cool with it, again, as long as we don’t get too personal…you know how big he is about keepin’ a lotta shit private. Oh and also, don’t go tellin’ people about this shit…that’d piss him off just as much. So, we all know the rules?” Jeff asked and looked around to make sure everyone was on the same page while I mentally crossed my fingers. “Cool, I’ll go first to show you guys how it works… Hey Trist, do you like bein’ on the bottom during sex?”

Tristan’s eyebrows kind of shot up for a second and then with an arrogant grin, he mumbled his reply rather firmly for being as completely asleep as he was. “Nope, can’t stand it.”

“See, I told you guys, it bugs the shit outta him. That question was how I actually found out about this sleepy quirk of his too. We’d been cramming all night for finals our eighth grade year and then we went surfing the entire next day after taking ‘em and while we were waiting for a swell, we saw this kid around our age floating in the water under the jetty. Fuck, it was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life…the kid’s face was blue and I knew he was gone, but, Trist wouldn’t accept it and gave him CPR for like twenty minutes or something while I ran to the closest guard tower.

Anyway, when we got home that night he was kinda irritable and he was fuckin’ beat so I brought up one of his favorite subjects to try to snap him outta his shitty mood, and while we were talking, he passed out. I didn’t realize he was actually asleep until I asked that question. I remember bein’ so surprised by his answer that I was lifting his eyelids up and everything because I thought no way could he be serious about hating to be on the bottom, you know what I mean?”

At this point I had to stifle my snarky almost reply of “No! I don’t know what you mean, explain it to me” when everyone aside from my sister nodded in complete understanding about why that would be so hard to believe.

“I did some experimenting by askin’ him all kinds of things I knew the answers to and found out he doesn’t lie when he’s sleeping.”

“That’s a trip, dude…” Brandon said and I’m still not sure if he was talking about Tristan’s exhausted version of George Washington’s “I cannot tell a lie” motto or that Tristan doesn’t like to be on the bottom.

 
“Yeah…it totally backfired on me though when I asked him stuff when he wasn’t completely exhausted in both his body and mind, because he woke up right away and then punched me for wakin’ him up. I swear he hates bein’ woken up from naps more than he hates bein’ on his back.” And
that
I can believe…

So wow. I really don’t have anything else…but I wonder if finding the dead kid is what prompted him to become a lifeguard. God, I can’t imagine how rough that had to be for them both. I mean I was pretty shaken up a couple weeks ago watching the paramedics zip up that body bag and I didn’t even really see the guy, you know? Thankfully Brandon’s question for Tristan interjected a wee bit of humor into my all too deep thoughts.

“Dude, Tristan, do you like the musical renderings of ABBA?” I started giggling as I happen to already know the answer to this.

“Of course, don’t care who ya are…everyone sings along to ‘Dancing Queen’,” Tristan muttered with a tone that was hysterically matter-of-fact.

Everyone was snickering and nodding to indicate that yes, they do in fact sing along to that particular song too when Brandon continued, “Tristan, does Jeff have to worry about you cheating on him with Pete?”
 

Tristan started chuckling in his sleep and then answered, “Nah, Jeff’s my boy.”

“Now what would I have done if he’d said something like yeah, Pete’s hot?” Jeff sarcastically asked Brandon who laughed, and then Jeff picked up the questioning, “So Trist, if you had to choose someone, you’d pick me?”

“No contest,” he answered, but just when Jeff started to grin in victory, Tristan added, “I’d still pick my baby.” And then with a bit of a smug smile on his lips, he snuggled even closer to me. I felt like sticking my tongue out at them and saying, “So there!”

“Shit. I forgot about Camie… That reminds me, you guys, don’t forget about his propensity for specifics. I don’t think his subconscious will tell an outright lie, but that doesn’t mean he won’t evade a question if he can get away with it.”

“Oh I got one… Tristan? Are you aware that Pete made out with someone at his party on New Year’s Eve this year?” Melissa asked and giggled when Jeff congratulated her on being specific by giving her a thumbs up, and then he looked at Kate like he was asking “Really? Pete made-out with someone?” and Kate nodded firmly with her eyebrows raised high.

“Yep.”
 

That was it; he didn’t elaborate so Kate, who was practically vibrating with her curiosity, almost holler-whispered her question to him, “Tristan, do you know who gave Pete that hickey on New Year’s Eve this year?”

This time Tristan’s response was a furrowed brow and a grimace. Also, words were slow in coming but he eventually mumbled, “Not sure, but have an idea.”

“Oh shit! Should we ask him what his idea is?” Melissa asked while Kate bit the nail of her index finger.

“Eh, I dunno about that, you guys…” Jeff answered with an unsure grimace of his own while glancing back and forth between Tristan and Pete. I’m sure his curiosity is now piqued just as high as ours is though.

“What do you think will happen? I mean, if I understood what you said the worst will be that we won’t have any idea what he means, right? It’s not like he’ll become violent or anything,” Melissa said while I searched Tristan’s peacefully sleeping face.
 

“What if he does though? You never know what can happen when you disturb someone who sleep walks and talks…Camie could get hurt and he’d be really mad if we did something to make him lose it. Just go straight to the source and ask Linus about it when he wakes up,” Jillian said very sensibly, referring to Pete who was now holding a corner of the sheet like a baby would be, and although he wasn’t doing it, it wasn’t hard to envision him sucking his thumb like that Charlie Brown character always did.
 

And not that I think Tristan will hit me or anything, but I’m sure Jill’s thinking it’s better to not take chances. And yeah, I totally appreciate her thoughtfulness in this case even though I’m more than curious myself to know who Tristan thinks Pete was fooling around with.

“Nah, there’s no way…he won’t all of a sudden go insane and take a swing at Camie or anything, but any time I’ve asked an open ended question like that, it’s almost like he goes all doomsday and it’s really fuckin’ weird. I dunno, I just don’t like it, but, you can try I guess.”

“Sold. Tristan, who do you think gave Pete that hickey and made-out with him at his New Year’s Eve party this year?” Melissa asked in a rush and suddenly, I swear, it seemed like everyone was holding their breath.

Tristan’s face screwed up in thought again and then after a weighty moment, we all heard what Jeff had been trying to warn us about. “All our times have come, we can be like they are…Romeo and Juliet, the last night of sadness.”

“What the fuck?!”
And it’s pretty safe to say Brandon was speaking for all of us except for maybe Jeff who was shaking his head back and forth.

“What was that, a prophecy or something?” Kate asked with a nervous laugh as she looked at Jeff for some kind of explanation.

“You see? I told you, it’s fuckin’
creepy
. You know, he remembers fuckin’ everything and he’s so goddamned smart so I’m sure there’s a bunch of shit his mind picks up on that just hasn’t been translated to him so that he knows it when he’s awake and aware so it comes out all spooky and full of foreboding. It probably doesn’t mean anything scary though…I mean, how bad could this mystery chick of Pete’s be, right?”

Umm, Romeo and Juliet killed themselves because of their forbidden love…and all our times have come so we can be like them? Yeah, I’m still with Brandon on this.
WTF?

24.

Bad Sex, Dragons & Other Legendary Myths

We spent a few minutes throwing out and then discarding dismal thoughts on what Tristan could’ve meant by his lament-like response. It wasn’t until we’d moved on that I was able to get that description of his reply out of my head though. The words Tristan used to express his answer really
were
eerily like a lament or requiem—both can be said to be a song or poem about a dead person—but as my own mental interpretation began to take form, the conversation shifted back to a topic that I was both interested in
and
irritated by.