The Other Shore (37 page)

I’ll go and look.

Cecile, Anne

You scared me!

Sorry, let me close the door.

Where is he?

I don’t know, maybe he’s in the living room, or in the study.

Thank you for your dress, but it doesn’t suit me. I’ve already put it back into the closet outside the bathroom. I look terrific wearing jeans, I don’t want any hand-me-downs. I also want to tell you, I don’t want to come here any more, I don’t want to see you, you and all the other people. I’m not that stupid, I’m not your plaything! I want to cry, but you won’t see my tears. I hate you! I also hate myself, but that’s got nothing to do with you. When I cry I’m only crying for myself, and it’s nothing for you to gloat about. I don’t have to stay around a crappy old man all the time, that you can rest assured. It’s a big world, I can go anywhere, I don’t need to stare at the same man all the time!

Daniel, Cecile

What’s the matter?

I’ve got nothing to say to you, go and talk to her, you’ve got a lot to say to each other, haven’t you? You’re all smart people, cultured, well-bred, and I’m just a little whore, I know you see me like that. Don’t try to explain! I don’t want to hear it! I’ll be leaving in a moment, drive me to the station, I’m going to take the bus home.

What am I going to tell them? We’re their guests.

They invited you, not me, I didn’t even know them.

Tomorrow, let’s go home tomorrow. Listen to me, okay?

I can’t wait until tomorrow. It’s your home anyway, not mine.

Where are you going at this hour of the night?

—Don’t worry about me! I don’t need you to pay for my bus ticket!

Daniel

—Okay, this is obviously a comedy, but it’s all but ruined because you’re in it. Should you try to put on a smile, or should you make a funny face and bear with it? You’re not such a good actor after all, you just wanted to play along, you don’t know the tricks. You’ve brought this embarrassment upon yourself.

You’re not an expert in the game of love, and that tiny bit of intelligence of yours has already vanished into mid-air. So you’d better leave and become a ball boy outside the court.

Cecile (
The wind blows hard.
)

The sky is a dark grey, and the clouds are whirling high above. She knows that once she stands on the side of the highway and sticks up a finger, some car will stop and its window will open, and there’ll appear a man’s smiling face. Life is so simple when you see through it, close your eyes and let it take you anywhere.

She wants all the men to be infatuated with her, waiting for the intimacy that comes unexpectedly.

And then she’ll dump them one by one, first she’ll cry and then she’ll laugh out loud, but that’s only a joke, just one more joke she’s playing on herself.

You know she’s not lonely, but she wants to have a dog, it’ll follow her anywhere, any time. As long as she blows the whistle, no matter how softly, the dog will happily go to her and circle around her, in front of her or behind her, running and jumping.

But all she wants to do right now is to smoke a cigarette, sitting on the concrete block by the roadside and gazing at the billboards by the entrance to the railway station. She’s got no need for the laced bras in the windows, the pair of cupcakes on her chest by themselves are enough to turn them on. She wants to say it to everybody: Here’s a whore! Just like everybody says “Hello.”

She hates women who put on airs, when she sees their new shoes stepping on dog pooh, she can’t help cracking up inside. She’s not a kind person, what’s the use of being kind anyway? Besides, her mother never taught her anything like that.

She wants to tie fast knots on all the neckties and smash all the vases into pieces. Just like her dreams, one by one they’ve been shattered, all gone.

Daniel

You grabbed your hair and tried to levitate yourself, but in the end you only gave yourself a painful scalp. You laugh at the world, but in the end it’s the world which is laughing at you. If there were no opponents to meet your challenge, life would have lost its meaning. To find meaning where there’s no meaning, to find love where there’s no love, all are driven by lust and desire. Everything is void and meaningless after all, and that includes yourself.

Afterwards, and afterwards, you’re bewildered, you stare at the door, it has been blown open by the wind, everything you’ve ever done on this side of the door is futile, but no one is willing to enter the door with you, to see whether there’s a greener pasture on the other side.

Bernard (
Sound of blowing wind and driving rain
)

Anne! Can you hear me? Oh, my bones…I don’t know if any of them’s broken. I just had a fall. Help me to the armchair, O…O…My waist, I can still bend my waist, it’s not busted yet. It’s a good thing that these old bones are still good and sturdy!

Anne

All right, all right, lie down, you really gave me a scare.

Bernard

It’s so windy. Remember that year when I just finished renovating the house and I gave a party? The whole house was full of people, the place was so alive! We drank a lot of wine. It was as windy as it is now, and the rain was pouring down, the guests all decided to stay and spend the night here. They slept everywhere, I gave the rooms and the beds to those sleeping in pairs. It was after midnight, and I was resting on this chair when you sneaked in, at that time the chair was still in the studio, remember? Then you decided to stay…

Anne, Bernard

Afterwards I left.

Then you came back. How many years ago was it? At that time…

I was exactly like her?

Right, a vivacious bimbo!

And stark naked…

I was standing in front of a painting, all around us were loud and bright colours, you said that these colours turned you on, remember?

Forget it. Besides, it’s already twenty years ago.

Will you ever leave me?

Who knows?

Listen! Is something leaking?

It’s raining outside.

You’ve closed all the windows, haven’t you?

Yes.

Ah…

What did you say?

(
Sound of snoring.
)

Anne

Her bare feet are soaked in the cold water, her skirt is dripping wet, it’s dirty and it sticks to her legs. The entire sitting room is immersed in water, and it’s still rising, flooding in from the porch, the garden, the forest over there, the former cattle range, the river bank which can’t be seen, and from heaven itself. She can’t do anything, she just stands in front of the glass door in the living room, she can’t prevent this houseful of water from rising further. There’s no place to hide, not a corner, not anywhere. The water is all over the carpet and is rising to the first step of the stairs, everything is floating, books, T-shirts, glasses cases, cardboard boxes, jeans and cushions are all stained, swollen. Even the chairs are wobbly. It’s hopeless. There’s no need to go and look at the studio, which is even lower, the paintings on the floor, surely they’re all finished, only the sofa stays immovable in the water, and she, like a bitch in heat, is lying on it, stark naked…

Quartet No. 4

Cecile, Bernard

A ball’s fallen to the floor!

Where?

It nearly broke into pieces.

Oh, it’s a marble made of ivory. It’s harder than a log. You can play with it.

Like this? (
Rolls the marble.
)

Naughty, naughty. I win! (
Takes marble and holds her.
)

All right, I’ll let you kiss me once, on the left side.

Daniel, Cecile, Bernard

She really knows how to make people happy.

Now on the right side, also just once. I can’t let you kiss both sides, otherwise I’ll have none left. Anyone who wants it will get it, but he’ll have to do a handstand for me first!

How can this be possible? It’s too much to ask at my age.

It’s got to be something people can do.

Then do a somersault, that’s easy enough, even kids can do it.

This girl, she surely knows how to make life difficult.

Is it okay like this?

Are we playing or not? We’re playing a game ‘cause we’re bored, right? Just listening to you people popping off to no end, don’t you think other people should have some fun too?

Daniel, Cecile

Why do we have to play this game? It’s so childish.

I want to play, but you don’t know how to; I want to go out, but I can’t either.

But it’s not raining.

Bernard, Cecile

Now tell me, what else shall we play? I’ll go along, I’ll die if I have to, okay?

How about hide and seek? It’s such a big house and there are so many rooms. You’ve got to do some exercise, both of you, running up and down will do you good!

How charming!

Daniel, Cecile

But still a child.

It’s no fun at all, I’m getting old just being with you!

Okay, you win. Out with it, how should we play?

Go tell Anne to play with us!

Bernard, Cecile, Daniel

Leave her out of it, she’s too lazy to move even one finger.

All right, take off your shoes, one each!

I don’t know what to do with her.

I know.

(
Music
)

Daniel

No door

　make a door

You’re inside the door

　he’s outside the door

You want to get out

　he wants to get in

To avoid a collision

　therefore

　　you close the door again.

No key

　can’t go in

No umbrella

　it’s raining

　　you’re wet all over

No God

　create one

No savior

　do it yourself

No story

　don’t tell it then

What if no soul

　when there’s none there’s none

And bad luck is like a toothache

　nobody

　　can be exempt

What if no play

　perform it yourself

No applause

　clap your own hands

No drummer

　play it yourself while you sing

No audience

　see it yourself

No nothing

　then it’s nothing

You build the world

　and then destroy it

If you don’t build one

　better not to build

　　then you don’t need to destroy

　　　you can’t destroy

You believe in ghosts

　then there are ghosts

If you don’t believe

　then don’t believe it

You want to go in circles

　the circling won’t end

You don’t want to go in circles

　who can order you to?

Cecile

Close this door, open that one. I’m—over here! (
Sneaks behind the door and hides.
)

A Cinderella carrying her crystal shoes. Look at them, so busy running up and down and panting for breath. See how they stumble and fall! (
Bang! She can’t help laughing.
) Did you break a bone? Oh…God! (
Covers her eyes with her hands.
)

Bernard (
Getting up from the ground.
)

What happened? (
Sees Cecile behind the door.
)

Cecile (
Pretends to cry.
)

I didn’t do it on purpose.

Bernard

It’s better to break it once and for all. It’s okay, I’m too old, that’s all. Even if I broke it I’ll go at it again. Break it! Break it once more!…Why are you crying, little girl? Daddy’s going to buy his little darling a big doll when he comes home—I’m still your good old daddy, am I not?

Cecile

She’s nobody’s little girl, small daddy, big daddy, they’re all fiddle-faddle! She’s sick and tired of playing mistress or model, pretending to be this and that.

Daniel

You say you

　love her

She also says

　she loves you

If you don’t love her

　she won’t love you

Love is like truth

　they are no different

She says she loves so painfully

　and she actually gets a toothache

She wants to indulge herself and to have fun

　nobody loses

You say everything you’ve said

　is the real truth

Truth or lies

　they’re no myths anyway

Cecile

She’s not a plaything, she’s not anybody’s puppet,

Sexy or not sexy, she’s still got her feelings.

You’re all looking for excitement, you’re all using her to seek emotional release,

That sorrow in her heart, who can dismiss it for her?

Daniel

Everybody says

　whoever

　　raises up high

　　　the big banner of justice

He will

　find

　　a reason

Just like

　a married man

　　complaining about his wife

　　　to his mistress

If he wants no trouble

　he should have known

　　not to get married

You lift up high

　a foot

　　to see how high you can lift it

When you can’t lift it any more

　then just

　　stop lifting it

If you think you’re

　a worm

　　then you’re a worm

If you think you’re

　a tiger

　　you have to know

　　　the tiger

　　　　except

　　　　　in cages

　　　　　　is already extinct

Bernard (
Tiptoeing, his hands at his back.
)

The little whore, where did she go? (
Stealthily pushes the door open.
)

Anne (
Embraces Daniel and kisses him. Bernard approaches and bends down to look.
)

Bastard!

Bernard

I didn’t say anything, did I?

Anne, Bernard

You scared me! (
Pushes Daniel away.
)