The Other Side of Heaven (8 page)

In our small town there were two
things that people didn’t do. One was park in Reverend Stanley’s spot at the
diner on Sunday and the other was canceling an appointment at Ricardo’s Salon.
Not only was he the best, his price was right. It took weeks to get an
appointment, longer if the holidays were forth coming. It just so happened the
day of my brief death that I had a hair appointment for color, cut and
highlights. It was a morning appointment, so I was hopeful that I had time.
When my sister heard I wasn’t cancelling the appointment, I joked that if I was
gonna meet our brother and maybe even our maker, at least my roots wouldn’t be
bad. She retorted that our brother Jimmy probably would comment on them.

He would.

Brad, the young man sent to be
the escort for my ethereal journey, seemed somewhat amused by my need to keep
my hair appointment. I did tell him, “I know your instructions are to call 911
as soon as I drop, but don’t.”

“Why not?”

“For starters, it’s all supposed
to last for three minutes on this side, right? I don’t think the emergency
responders will be here from the time I drop to when I return. If I don’t
revive, well then, it was either my choice or my time. Right?’

“Right, but …”

“No buts. Plus, my insurance
doesn’t cover ambulance service and at this point I don’t need another bill.
Promise me you won’t call.”

Brad groaned, then reluctantly
said, “I promise.”

“Besides, more than likely we’ll
be in my living room.”

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The hair shop was buzzing and
filled with people. As a regular, everyone knew me and they asked who Brad was.

I explained he was much too young
to be my boyfriend and stated with a joking manner that he was there for when I
briefly died to make sure everything went well.

As I sat in the chair getting the
last of my highlights on, it was a joke of the whole salon.

“She doesn’t want an ambulance,”
Ricardo said. “I don’t either. Those highlights will make her bald if they
don’t get rinsed.”

No one took me serious and I
suppose my joking was a way to cover my anxiety.

After they finished with my color
and highlights, I was put in the chair and under a dryer to process for thirty
minutes. Ricardo was still one of the people who used dryers. Brad never was
far from sight, and I leaned back and closed my eyes. The hum of the dryer and
the warmth was soothing and usually I dozed off. As I thought I had at that
moment, when I heard laughter. Male laughter. I opened my eyes to see what
Ricardo found so funny and I was no longer in the salon.

I stood in the hallway outside my
Brother Jimmy’s apartment.

I was there, I had left. No
flashes of light, no big hurrah, just from spot to another. Was I dreaming? No,
I wasn’t. I was certain.

I reached up to see if the foil
in my hair followed me to the afterlife. It didn’t. In fact I was shocked to
feel how short it was, then I remembered, I had short hair when Jimmy died.

The laughter flowed from my
brother’s apartment along with soft playing music. I felt nervous and excited.
But why there?

“That’s cool, Jim.” The one voice
said.

Freddy. Jimmy’s best friend.

Wait… I thought. Was it the night
of his death.

“Hey, dude,” Freddy said. “Did
you pop the one in the chamber?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jimmy replied.

Oh, God. No he didn’t. He didn’t
pop the one in the chamber, that was what killed him.

Instantaneously it hit me? Was I
in heaven or did I time travel. Maybe my gift or quest was to stop it.

I grabbed for the doorknob and
barged it, trying to cut off the fateful bang of a gun.

The apartment was empty. I felt
my soul sink.

“Barb?”

Gasping out I spun to the voice
of my brother. Jimmy looked amazing, perfect, just as he was the last time I
saw him. Healthy and handsome. I rushed into his arms, embracing him
wholeheartedly.

I didn’t want him to let go. Then
it hit me. Perhaps he wasn’t even aware.

“It’s good to see you too. Really
it is.” Jimmy pulled gently from our reunion. “Have to tell you, when I was
told one of my siblings was coming to resolve my death, I thought for sure it
would be Peter.”

Our brother Peter took Jimmy’s
death so hard.

“It’s me. Disappointed?”

“You kidding me? You’re my
favorite big sister.”

“I won’t tell that to Debbie.”

He laughed. Oh, his laugh. How I
missed it. Grabbing my hand he led me to the couch. “Let’s sit.”

“Why do you suppose this is the
place? Is this heaven?”

Again, he laughed. “No, I think
this place has to do with your resolution. Not sure. I liked this apartment,
Barb, but not enough so spend eternity here.”

He made me smile. “I missed you
so much.”

“I miss you too.” He tapped my
hand. “So fire away. I know you have questions. Probably why it’s you, because
you won’t forget what you have to ask me.”

“You’re right.”

“Go on,” he nodded.

I hadn’t forgotten them.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Barb,” he chuckled out my name.
“I’m dead.”

“You know what I mean.”

“For a dead guy, I’m good.”

“Happy?”

“Yeah, for a dead guy I’m happy.”

“Jimmy.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Do you feel like a dead guy?” I
asked.

“Ah, I do, actually. There’s a
lot of things missing,” Jimmy said. “See, right now I am a physical being. For
the most part I feel physical, but I know I’m an essence unless I mentally make
myself whole. I miss eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom. I mean, in this
body, I can have a pizza, and getting into this physical being is a state of
mind. I miss feeling an abundance of anything. Cause everything feels like I am
in control. None of this makes sense to you, does it?”

“It kinda does.”

“There’s an aspect of being alive
and it’s not just breathing. It’s being
alive
. I can’t describe it any
other way. Once here, you can’t get overly angry or overly happy. It’s a
spiritual Prozac.”

I shook my head with a smile. “Do
you see Mom?”

“Why did they segue from Prozac,”
he laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I do. Dad, too.”

“Good. I wanted to hear that. I’m
sorry your life was cut short.”

“Me too. I’m sorry for all the
pain I put you through.”

I exhaled. “Why didn’t you pop
the one in the chamber? You could have checked.”

“How do you know I didn’t?”

“Because I just heard the
exchange between you and Freddy.”

He lowered his head. “I didn’t
want to come off as dumb, besides, the safety was on. Who would have thought it
would malfunction.”

“You weren’t in a lot of pain,
were you. The coroner said you probably didn’t feel a thing.”

“I didn’t. Funny thing …” Jimmy
stood up and pointed to the television area. “All that disappeared and turned
white, bright white, just before the gun went off. It was in my hand, the light
appeared, then everything flashed. Next thing I knew I was standing behind the
couch looking at Freddy freaking out. Trying to call for help, while holding
me. It was heartbreaking.”

“How long did you watch?”

“Until Dad died.”

“What?” I stood as well. “You
were stuck in this apartment for six years.”

“No. For the most part, in the
beginning, I was stuck to Freddy. I was glad, because I was worried. Especially
when they investigated him.”

“Yeah, had he not have been so
torn up, the charges may have stuck. Freddy was bad.”

“He was bad.” Jimmy clenched his
fist. “I felt so awful. I felt awful for all of you. The pain mom and dad went
through. The crying. I always wanted to make you guys smile and I failed at
that. Remember how I said on this side you don’t feel? Well, when I stayed on
that side, I did. I allowed myself to be punished.”

“I dreamt of you. It was really
vivid. Was that you?”

“I don’t recall entering dreams.
However, you may have picked up on my presence.”

“I thought I was crazy, but I
always felt you around. You said in the beginning you were stuck with Freddy.”

He nodded. “Yeah, then I was able
to move about. As long as I ran from the light. And I did. Let me tell you,
remember the movie Ghost?”

“Sort of.”

“Well, I’m not the only one
running around this town. Or the only one running from the light. It comes for
you a lot. Just like you wanted to resolve with me, I needed to stay and
resolve.”

“Did you?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I had
no plans to go through until Dad died. Then he yelled at me to cross over. And
you know Dad, when he yells, we listen.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Tell me everyone is okay now.”

“They are.”

“Freddy? The last I looked he was
using.”

“It’s been tough on him, but he’s
been clean a year now.”

Jimmy seemed to sigh out in
relief. “Peter? He was having marital problems over my death.”

“They’re fine. He’s a grandfather
now. Ashley had a baby.”

“That’s cool. Debbie? Does she
still go into her closet for hours and stare at the shrine she made for me?”

“What?” I cocked back. “Debbie
has a shrine for you in her closet?”

Jimmy stared, then smiled. “No.
I’m kidding.”

That was it. That was what I
needed. Not only to tell him I missed him, find out if he was alright, but for
him to play some more practical jokes on me. He did. He got me. Then the room
brightened.

With little emotion, Jimmy said,
“Ding. Ding. Resolution complete.” He pouted some.

“I guess that’s my sign to go.” I
stepped to him and we embraced one more time.

“Don’t go. Don’t go yet. The
light will come back….”

“Jimmy, it won’t. This is the
only return trip.”

“I miss you all so much. Don’t
you want to see Mom? Dad?”

I looked at the light. It wasn’t
as bright.

“I’m being selfish,” he said.

“You can be. I’m just grabbing
every moment too.” Again, I looked at the light. “I have to go.”

Jimmy kissed me on the cheek. “I
love you. Please tell everyone I love and miss them.”

“We all love you.” I stepped
away, moving backwards into the light. It was thick and not so easy. Almost as
if the light was fighting me.

Then the light encompassed me,
Jimmy faded. The bright light disappeared and it felt as if someone instantly
pumped air into my lungs. It caused me to gasp, sit up and hit my head on the
dryer.

“Stop the call!” Ricardo yelled.
“She’s back.”

“You sure?” someone replied.

“Yeah. She’s bleeding, but that’s
not a ambulance trip. It can wait until she finishes processing,.” Ricardo was
in my view, standing next to Brad.

“Three minutes and twenty two
seconds,” Brad said. “They were calling.”

“You promised me you wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t.” Brad held up his
hand. “I knew you’d be back. Just an instinct. They weren’t so convinced.”

Ricardo handed me a towel for my
head. “Hold that. We’ll put some plastic over it when we rinse you then go get
a suture.”

“Thank you.” I took the towel. My
hand trembled as I brought it to my head.

“Sweetheart, you were dead,”
Ricardo said. “I nearly had a heart attack. Brad told us what was happening.
But it was hard to believe.”

“Still is,” I said.

Brad asked, “Are you okay? Did
you …”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “I’m fine and I
did. I’m overwhelmed right now. I want to call my family and tell them
everything.”

“As long as you’re okay,” Brad
said.

I nodded to let him know, aside
from the head glitch, I was physically fine. But the truth was, I was more than
that .For the first time in a long time, I felt completely at peace.

One would think we were a Jewish
family sitting in Shiva when the day came for the resolution. The second it
struck midnight, me, my brother, sister, and nephew all sat in my living room,
joined by a priest named Craig.

We never left each other’s sight.
Even if we went to the bathroom, someone was outside the door. It was both
annoying and funny.

“You alright in there?’

“Yeah, I’m just going to the
bathroom.”

Fr. Craig was a cool guy. He
liked his booze though, and then explained the booze and inability to resolve
things was the reason he was on sabbatical from the church. He was hopeful that
our resolution would be his. He was picked, like Natalie to find five people
and he opted out.

He had a hard time living with
that decision.

It was pretty cool to hear his
death experience. It was one he swore he would share, but after sitting in that
living room with us for six hours, he talked about it. How he was chaperoning a
fishing trip during the spring and fell into the lake. He was dead for six
hours, and medically they said the cold helped revive him. On the other side,
his trip was brief. Unlike with Natalie, no souls rushed forward yelling, ‘Pick
me. Pick me.”

The man who seemed to sip
steadily on a bourbon since the sun came up, slowed down and even smiled a
little, when he received word that two of the named had gone, came back, and
were happy and fine.

Fr. Craig stared at his phone as
he told us. “Their departures were slightly different. Both went to a place
where the loved one died…”

Upon hearing that, we all looked
up to the ceiling knowing our mother died in the room above us.

“And …” Fr. Craig continued. “The
door to return opened up when they resolved. At least now we have some
information.”

There was a moment of silence
where we absorbed what he was saying, one that was broken by the startling ring
of my cell phone.

“Scott!” my sister yelled at me.

“You were supposed to turn it
off,” my brother scolded.

“What? I did.” I pulled my phone
from my pocket. “Weird. Jacob, it’s your phone. You’re butt dialing me.”

“No I’m not. My phone’s
upstairs.”

I lifted my eyes to the ceiling,
then answered my phone. “Hello.”

“Scottie. That actor you like is
going to be on the Late Night Show.”

My eyes widened, my heart sunk
and I stood up, clutching that phone so tight I could have crushed it.

“What?” My sister asked. “Who is
it?’

“Mom.”

When I said that, my brother,
sister, Jacob and Fr. Craig all stood up. Rushing forward, asking what I meant
and that was when it happened. I felt like a celebrity with the paparazzi.
Flashes of light blinded me. They increased in intensity until I was engulfed.
Then they stopped, exposing an empty, grayish room.

“Scottie?”

I spun around to see my mother.
My legs buckled and I cried out this aching sound as I charged for her.

It was me. I was chosen, I won
the afterlife lottery. Hugging my mother, I realized that the impossible
occurred. I crossed over with my cell phone still in my hand. Or was it a
mistake.

My mother did call me.

“Oh, honey.” She embraced me,
pulled back, placed her hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead. “You look so
wonderful.”

She did too. She looked exactly
as I remembered. Her hair glowed some, it was really cool.

“Do you know why it was me, Mom?”
I asked. “Why I was picked.”

“No, I don’t. Let’s not dwell on
that. We’re visiting right?”

“Right. Mom?” I lifted the phone.
“How? Why? You called.”

“It was the call I never made.”

“What do you mean?”

“Walk with me Scott,” She grabbed
my hands and we walked through the house to the back patio. “Before I died, I
was going to call you. I meant to and tell you that message. But I never did. I
always felt bad. Maybe you missed it.”

“Mom, it didn’t matter that day.
Our world stopped.” Then I looked around. “The patio. Mom? Was it our
imagination or was the scent of roses you?”

“Funny thing about crossing over.
You don’t have to go right away. I stayed long enough to figure out how to give
a sign. And once I saw you all together, I knew you were gonna be just fine.”

“We weren’t.”

“Yes, you were.” She said assuredly.

“Why was there never another
sign?”

“Well, it gets busy. There are so
many people to see, visit, and there’s no time, so years fly by.”

“It’s so good to be with you. See
you … hold your hand. You know we love you and …. Oh.” I lifted my phone. “I
wonder if this works.”

“I don’t think you can make a
call.”

“Not a call. Pictures.”

Not so surprisingly, the phone
had power and I was able to pull up the pictures. We sat on the glider just off
the patio and I showed her pictures I had taken. She played with my new phone
and laughed at how advanced it was. I filled her in on everything, our lives,
the changes in them. Current events, celebrity gossip, and even TV shows she
would like. I even filled her in on how
Lost
ended. She wasn’t
impressed.

We talked, laughed, and shed
emotional tears for a long time. It seemed to me as if I had been given extra
time. I even worried that maybe I wasn’t going back. That worry was short
lived, because the light appeared. It started as a speck and grew. Suddenly in
was as big as the side of the house.

It was time to go and I could do
so freely. I was actually anxious to tell my family all about it. As I
approached the white light, I could smell the roses, I hugged my mother once
more, kissed her on the cheek, and clutched her hand as I stepped through.
Looking over my shoulder, I watched as she faded.

There was only a blank moment.
Like a long blink. I opened my eyes to see Fr. Craig.

“He’s back.” Fr. Craig said.

Something hurt. My knee, I felt
it as I moved and Fr. Craig helped me to sit up. I was on the floor.

My brother Bob crouched before
me. “How do you feel? Do you need an ambulance.”

“Was I dead?”

Bob whistled. “Oh, yeah, it was
scary.”

My sister held out her hand. “I’m
still shaking.”

“I cancelled the ambulance,”
Jacob stepped closer. “I told them … hey, that’s weird.”

“What?” I asked.

“You have the phone again,” Jacob
said. “I thought it flew out of your hand when you fell.”

Immediately, I jumped up, I
swayed a little and my knee wanted to give out. “Please,” I whispered. “Please,
please, please.”

“Scott?” Fr. Craig called my
name.

Then so did my brother, sister
and nephew. They all called me and I ignored them and sat on the couch with my
phone.

“Scott?” Jessie, my sister asked.
“What are you doing?”

“Please.” I swiped through my
phone.

“Please what?” She asked.

“Please. Here. Yes. I think.” I
found what I was looking for. “Here.”

My phone videos. I pulled them
up, grabbed the most recent and pressed play.

The image was blurry, almost
pixilated and translucent. Her voice sounded as if it came thought a computer.
It had a weird tin sound with an echoing bounce. But it was my mother none the
less.

“Jessie, sweetie,” My mother
spoke. “I need you to know …”

Jessie screamed, not even hearing
the rest of the message. In fact everyone screamed and grabbed for the phone.

“How long is the video?” Bob
asked.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “But
there’s a message for you all. Here.” I relinquished the phone. I had just
spent time with my mother, they needed their moment as well before I could
recount the experience to them.

As I stepped away, Fr. Craig
handed me water.

“Thank you,” I said.

He stared at my family. “The
gift.”

“I’m sorry? The gift?”

He shook his head. “Forget I said
that. This is … unbelievable. A message from heaven.”

“The whole thing, Fr. Craig, is
unbelievable.”

I sipped my water and watched as
my family was overwhelmed with emotions watching what was on my phone. Like
with the scent of the roses, they laughed and cried.

I wasn’t certain how long we’d
have the video. Would it disappear? Or would it be something we’d always have.
I didn’t know the answers about the video, but I was certain, the experience,
the ‘one more moment’ with our mother was something that would carry us a
lifetime.