The Outlaws: Jess (8 page)

"What's that frown all about?" Jess said as
he stepped through the door with a tray balanced in his hands. "Are
you hurting again?"

"No more than usual. And don't try to feed me
laudanum. It makes my mind fuzzy."

Jess set the tray on the bed. "No need to
worry, the laudanum's gone."

"There's a drug emporium in Cheyenne if you
wish to replenish your supply for future use before you leave
town."

Jess slanted her a wry grin. "Unfortunately
I'm fresh out of money." He raised the tray to her lap and handed
her the fork."

"Can you eat left-handed?"

"The pain in my right shoulder is somewhat
diminished. I think I can manage with my right hand."

"Go ahead and try," Jess said, watching her
closely as she lifted the fork and speared a wedge of flapjack.

Meg managed to get the food into her mouth
without undue pain and flashed him a smile.
I told you
, her
eyes seemed to say.

Instead of leaving, Jess settled down in the
chair. "I'm thinking of hanging up my shingle in Cheyenne."

Meg couldn't have been more stunned. "You
are? What made you decide that?"

Jess shrugged. "It's as good a place as any.
I've heard the town is growing. Men are pouring in daily, bringing
their families with them. There's a need for doctors here."

Meg mulled over Jess's words. She liked it
better when she believed he'd ride off into the sunset one day. She
didn't cotton to the idea of a man becoming important to her. Zach
didn't count because he was a father figure and presented no danger
to her independence. But Jess was different. Jess was a potent,
thoroughly masculine man who could make her heart pound by just
looking at him.

He was also dictatorial, tyrannical, and much
too handsome for her peace of mind. There was something mysterious
about Jess Gentry. He was hiding something, she was sure of it.
Furthermore, with Jess living in Cheyenne, she'd be constantly
reminded that a man existed with whom she had actually felt
passionate stirrings.

Meg continued to improve. Jess allowed her to
move around a bit more each day and Meg took advantage of his
directive to exercise in her room without his knowledge. Her right
arm was still weak but was gaining strength, and her wound only
hurt when she stretched, but it was nothing she couldn't bear. The
day she dressed and walked outside for the first time, she found
Jess mending a porch railing.

Meg's mouth went dry. His chest was bare, his
skin glistening with sweat. Taut muscles rippled beneath the smooth
surface of his flesh. She swallowed convulsively. Jess might not be
the most attractive man in the world, but he could be rated right
up there at the top. A shiver of awareness slid down her spine. The
very air around him seemed to radiate energy.

Her heart skipped a beat when he turned
toward her and smiled.

"I'm glad to see you looking so well." His
gaze slid down her body, then back to her face. "You're wearing a
dress. It's most becoming."

"I don't always wear trousers. Only when
I'm...working. I feel very well, thanks to you. I'm back to where I
was before I was shot. Where's Zach?"

"He rode into town to look for work."

"What! He knows he's not up to doing physical
labor. We were doing fine until you came along."

Jess put down the hammer and glared at her.
"Don't you mean until you got yourself wounded?"

"I...oh, never mind. Have you examined Zach
yet?"

"I'm going to have to lasso him to get him to
sit still for an examination."

Meg sat down on the porch steps. "I can't
lose him, Jess."

Jess eased down beside her. It galled like
hell to listen to Meg bemoan her lover's illness."

"I'll do my best," Jess said. "Zach has led a
hard life. He didn't take care of himself in his early years. I'm
not a miracle worker. I don't even know for sure what's wrong with
him."

"But you will find out, won't you?"

"I can try."

"That's all I ask."

"Meg, I know Zach can't marry you now, but he
can obtain a divorce and make it possible."

Meg gave him a horrified look. "I could never
marry Zach."

"Funny, Zach said the same thing about you.
What is it with you two? Do you enjoy flaunting society with your
love affair?"

Meg closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She
had to count to ten before she could speak coherently. "If I want
to flaunt society, that's my business. You're nothing to me. Not my
conscience, my father, nor a male relative."

Anger hardened Jess's features. "I may be
nothing to you but you can't deny the way you responded to my
kisses. You kissed me back, damn it! Your body turned to flame in
my arms. Can you say the same about Zach's kisses?"

"I...no. You don't understand how it is
between me and Zach."

"Why don't you tell me."

"Because you're so damn judgmental you
probably wouldn't believe me. What about your own life, Jess
Gentry? Is it so exemplary that you could pass judgment on
another?"

Jess hissed out a breath, as if she'd struck
him a mortal blow. "My own life is nothing to brag about. I've made
some bad decisions in my lifetime. But we both know standards are
different for men and women. Do people know you're living out here
with Zach, without benefit of marriage?"

Her chin notched upward. "I don't care what
people think. The only time I go into town is to check the wanted
posters. The sheriff has been most accommodating in sharing them
with me."

Jess searched her face. "Don't you want what
other young women want? A husband, a home, children?"

"I have a home. As for children, they would
only get in the way of my profession. And I don't need a husband
telling me what to do. Tell me, do you have a wife waiting for you
somewhere?"

"No wife."

"Fiancée?"

"No."

"Parents?"

"No parents."

"Just brothers," Meg probed.

"The best. I'd do anything for Rafe and
Sam."

But he hadn't, had he? He'd let his brothers
become outlaws because he hadn't the gumption to admit that he
might possibly have been the last man to bed Delia Wingate, and
could very well be the father of her unborn child. God, it hurt to
think about his cowardly act. During the war he'd risked his life
countless times, remaining behind enemy lines to save wounded
soldiers.

"Tell me about Rafe and Sam," Meg
prodded.

Jess's mind turned inward, picturing his
brothers as he'd last seen them. Frantic. Angry. Eager to escape
the posse.

"Rafe is a year older than I. Sam a year
younger. We're exceptionally close for brothers, being so close in
age."

"Where are they now?"

"I wish I knew. We split up a few weeks ago.
We lost the family farm and...well, Rafe rode West and Sam South. I
decided to head North. We made plans to meet in Denver a year from
the day we split."

"Why did you split up? Was there nothing you
could do to save the farm?"

Jess's expression hardened. "There was one
thing we could have done, but it was unacceptable." His eyes turned
bleak, and he looked away. "I could have...but I didn't. It's too
late now. The damage has already been done."

Meg searched his face. What she saw puzzled
her. A mixture of guilt and remorse dulled his expressive eyes. "I
don't understand."

"No, I don't suppose you do. The fault is
mine alone to bear." He gave her a brittle smile. "Enough of my
problems. I think we can safely say you can resume light exercise.
Riding is permitted, but only if you don't overdo."

Meg felt like jumping up and cheering.
Instead, she said demurely, "Thank you, doctor."

"I mean it, Meg. No strenuous exercise for
another couple of weeks."

"I'm fine, Jess, really."

"Let me be the judge of that."

Exasperated, Meg sighed and gazed off into
the distance. "Oh, look, there's Zach."

Jess watched Zach approach with growing
alarm. The closer he came the more aware Jess became that something
was wrong. Zach's shoulders were slumped, his face was ashen. He
sat his horse awkwardly, barely able to keep his seat. Jess rushed
forward to help him dismount. Zach's lame leg caught in the
stirrups and he would have fallen had Jess not steadied him.

"Thanks, Doc," Zach said.

Meg ran over to join them, her expression
stark with concern. "Are you all right, Zach? You shouldn't have
gone off without telling me. I would have gone with you."

"No, you wouldn't have," Jess said
sternly.

"I'm fine, Meggie-girl. Didn't have much luck
in town, though. Jobs were scarce for a cripple. The ones available
were beyond my capability, and those I could do were already
filled." He turned away in disgust. "I feel so damn useless. I'm
half a man, with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana
peel."

"Don't say that!" Meg cried fiercely. She
turned to Jess, her eyes pleading. "Can't you give him something to
make him better?"

"Not until I now what's wrong with him. I
need to examine him."

"Then do it!" Meg demanded.

"What about it, Zach? Will you let me examine
you? I'll be leaving in a day or two, now is as good a time as
any."

Zach looked from Meg to Jess, as if trying to
make up his mind. Then he nodded slowly. "Very well, you two have
worn me down. Might as well get it over with."

"I'll wash up and fetch my bag," Jess said.
"I'd prefer to do the examination in private."

"My bedroom, then," Zach said. "I'll wait for
you there."

Jess's brows raised in surprise. He'd always
assumed that Zach and Meg shared the same bedroom.

Zach limped away. Meg followed him as Jess
went off to scrub his hands. When he entered Zach's room with his
medical bag a short time later, Meg was there, fussing over him.
She was reluctant to leave, but Jess was adamant. As soon as the
door closed behind her, Jess opened his bag and removed his
stethoscope.

"No need for that, Doc, I know what's wrong,"
Zach said. "I only agreed to this for Meggie's sake."

"Why don't you tell me your symptoms?"

"It's my heart. It just ain't right. Hasn't
been for a long time."

"Let me be the judge of that. Have you
experienced pain?"

Zach gave him a wry smile. "You could say
that. Sometimes it's so bad I can't catch my breath. I try not to
let on for Meggie's sake, but I know my days are numbered,
Doc."

Jess's initial impression wasn't promising,
but he wasn't about to make a diagnosis without evidence to back up
Zach's complaints. He placed the stethoscope over Zach's heart. He
listened, frowned, and listened some more. He moved the stethoscope
to Zach's back, still frowning.

He put the stethoscope away and tested Zach's
responses. Then he looked into his eyes, his ears, and his mouth.
The examination was as thorough as Jess knew how to make it. When
he finished, he sat back and stared at Zach.

Zach returned his perusal. "I was right,
wasn't I, Doc? It's my heart, ain't it? I've lived a hard life.
Drank too much, smoked and caroused like there was no tomorrow
during my early years. Now I'm paying for it. I don't care for
myself, it's Meggie I'm worried about."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Zach. You have
angina, or progressive heart failure. There is medicine that will
ease your pain but no cure."

Acceptance shone in the depths of Zach's
eyes. "I ain't proud of my life. There are things I would do over
were I given the chance. But meeting and caring for Meggie isn't
one of them. I'll always be grateful for the time I had with
her."

Jess didn't want to hear about Zach's
relationship with Meg. "I'll give you some pills. Take them
whenever you feel the pain come on. When they're gone, you can buy
more from a druggist. It's a common enough remedy."

"How long do I have?"

"Only God knows that. My advise is to make
the most of the time you have left. Try not to overdo and rest when
you feel tired."

"Don't tell Meggie, Doc. I don't want her
worrying about me."

"I doubt you can keep it from her. Meg's an
astute woman. She's smart, strong, and independent. She has a right
to know."

"She's all of those things, and more," Zach
admitted, bursting with pride. "She wasn't always like that. You
should have seen her when..." He paused, giving Jess a sheepish
look. "Forgive my rambling."

"Tell me about Meg," Jess said. "I know so
little about her."

Zach shook his head. "Ask Meg. It's not my
place." He sent Jess a hard look. "You care for Meggie, don't
you?"

Jess shrugged. "Of course, I care about all
my patients."

"I don't mean those kind of feelings. I'm
talking about feelings a man has for a woman."

"Look, Zach, you've nothing to be jealous
about. Meg loves you."

"Hell, Doc, you don't need to tell me that.
I've been watching you two since you arrived. Meggie is attracted
to you. You're exactly the kind of man she needs. She'd make you a
good wife."

Jess's mouth fell open. "You want me to marry
Meg?"

"You could do a helluva lot worse. I know
she's a mite strong minded but ain't that better than having a wife
who's afraid of her own shadow?"

"You want me to marry Meg?" Jess repeated
harshly.

"Well, hell, Jess, I know for a fact there's
more passion in her little finger than most women have in their
whole body."

"I'll bet you do," Jess said sarcastically.
No matter how ill Zach was, it just wasn't right for him to offer
his lover's hand in marriage to another man.

"I'd rest a whole lot easier in my grave if I
knew Meggie was being taken care of after I'm gone."

"Why marriage?" Jess challenged. "Why not
offer her to me as my mistress?"