The Pandora Project

Copyright 2013 by Heather Cowan

Photography and cover art by Becki Kanigan

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the author or publisher.

For Alli and Madi:

May you always have the power

to change the world.

"He knows not that the box which Pandora brought was a box of evils. Hence he looks upon the one evil still remaining as the greatest source of happiness—it is hope.—Zeus intended that man, notwithstanding the evils oppressing him, should continue to live and not rid himself of life, but keep on making himself miserable. For this purpose he bestowed hope upon man: it is, in truth, the greatest of evils for it lengthens the ordeal of man.
"
Friedrich Nietzsche,
Human, All Too Human

I have to agree with Nietzsche, hope is often the greatest evil of all.

Book I:

Creation

Prologue

              The signs have always been there for man to follow. If we had allowed ourselves to see past our own ambition and cleverness, our current situation would come as a surprise to no one. But we were blind, and now we don’t like what we see. It has always been simple though, because the periods of our destruction followed the exact pattern of our creation.

We never wanted to see.

              In the beginning, night held too many limitations. We didn’t want light separated from the darkness. We wanted light all the time. We lit up the entire world. We created so many sources of light that it was virtually impossible to find utter darkness. Our technology made it possible to see in the dark, to sleep in the day and have twenty-four straight hours of productivity. We were happy and thought it was good.

             
Then we realized that we shouldn’t be limited to the wonders of Earth. Space was a frontier that we needed to explore and control. We started small with walking on the moon and progressed until space stations could sustain life away from our planet. We broke down the barrier between Heaven and Earth. We were proud and thought it was good.

             
We started to realize that all of our progress was not without serious consequences. The air began to fill with toxic chemicals and the waters and land were contaminated. Serious weather conditions caused flooding, tidal waves and massive destruction when the land was no longer divided from the waters. Global warming caused droughts and famines. Grass, flowers, trees and fruit stopped producing at levels that could sustain our population. But we were smart and clever and could overcome any of these problems, so we were good.

             
As the communication age continued to advance and we had more need for satellites and communication towers we filled space with beacons and transmitters and all manner of technology until we blotted out the sun, moon, and stars. We worried about radiation and the cellular changes we were experiencing, but the ability to communicate through calling, text messaging, email, video teleconferencing, and social media made stars of us all, and it was good.

             
When the fish became too full of mercury to be used as a viable option for sustenance and the air became unable to support winged life, we became worried and wondered if it was good.

             
Then we, in our infinite wisdom, thought we could improve Man and all others of the human race. That Man, the most wondrous and incredible creation of all wasn’t good enough. And like everything else, we succeeded…that is when all hell broke loose.

Chapter 1

             
I am not a monster
, I repeat this mantra to myself in one form or another every day before heading out into the world I am destined to destroy. Sometimes it is,
I am not bound by destiny
, or
I will not bring on an apocalypse
, but most days I keep it simple,
I am not a monster
.

             
I glance at myself in the mirror decorating the entryway and brush some of the dirty blonde strands out of my eyes. I like my eyes. Surely a monster wouldn’t have such pretty green eyes with little sunbursts of yellow shooting away from the pupils. I shrug. Positive thoughts like these are the ones that keep me going. Grabbing my keys, I check my purse one more time before heading out the door. Phone, cash, debit card, granola bar, extra pair of gloves, mints and sunglasses; everything I need to get through another day of high school.

             
The crisp autumn air ruffles the ends of my hair and I take a deep cleansing breath. The air leaves me in billowy little clouds that hang for a second in the grey sky. This is my season, monsters are loved in the fall. I walk lightly over the frost covered grass, trying not to let the moisture soak through my boots. Climbing into my Jetta, I turn just in time to see my mom peek out the window.

             
Have a great day, and be careful!
She thinks to me as she waves. It is the same thing she thinks to me every day as I leave the house and head out into the big bad world. It’s not so big and bad when you are the scariest thing walking the streets.

             
I will. Love you.
I think back, knowing she is scanning my thoughts for my response. Doesn’t she know that the constant reminder to be careful makes it really hard not to think of myself as an abomination? Someone too dangerous to be around others?

             
I try to keep my thoughts quiet until I am out of range of Mom’s exceptional hearing and slowly drive the three miles to school. As I pull into my assigned spot I see Lexi lounging against one of the white pillars that line the front of the school building. Seeing her makes me smile. Like my internal dialogue, she keeps me grounded. There is no way someone as incredible as Lexi could love anyone who might destroy the world, right? I toss my purse into my backpack, double check my gloves to make sure there are no holes and head over to where she is waiting.

             
“Paige!” she exclaims as she pulls me in for a quick hug. I am always uncomfortable with the physical contact, but I know as long as I don’t touch her with my bare hands she is relatively safe. After 12 years of friendship, I should be used to the casual intimacy, but I am too wary to ever let my guard down.

I often wonder if it would be so bad with Lexi, if I shared with her who I am, what I can do.
Her strongest attribute is her happiness…it is impossible to be down around her. How would that manifest into a superpower? What evolutionary chain would I strengthen? These are the games I play to make my power less daunting, to concentrate on the good it could release.

             
I smile and pull away, but not too quickly, always wary of my every move. Undeterred Lexi slips her arm through mine and escorts me to my locker. Being this close also makes me look freakishly tall next to Lexi’s pixie shortness.
I am not a giant monster
. The drab hallways help remind me to fade into the background, once white they are now a dirty shade of grey that often fit right in with my mood.

Feeling awkward about my height and anxious about how d
angerously close her hand is to mine, I grin and bear it until I detach under the pretense of opening my locker. As she leans against the locker adjoining mine I can finally give her a true smile and start to relax.

             
“What’s with the smile?” I ask as I trade my Calculus book for AP English.

             
“So you haven’t heard?” she responds, her smile widening. I have to stifle a groan as I wonder what morsel of small town gossip she is going to bless me with. In a town as miniscule as ours, you can’t fart in church without everyone knowing within a couple of minutes.

             
Closing my locker, I lean against it waiting for the latest news; she turns and starts walking to first period. I realize she is going to make me work for it. “Lexi!” I yell as I try to chase her down. “Out with it,” I say as we walk to our seats.

             
“You don’t seem appropriately interested,” she puts her nose in the air and turns away from me. Ugh, she is really going to make me work for it. Do I even care? Nothing can compare to the ruckus I could create if word of what I can do got out.

             
More to humor Lexi than out of curiosity I pull on one of her brown curls and say, “No really, I can’t wait to hear it. Did Ashlynn and Reid break up again?” I guess, asking about our on-again, off-again homecoming queen and king.

             
“Like that would be news,” she responds while rolling her eyes and turning to face me. “Nope, and I think this one I will let you figure out on your own.”

             
I repress the urge to shake her as the bell rings and Mr. Scott stands in front of the class. Looking around the room I realize that everyone has been giggling and talking about something so whatever Lexi didn’t share must be huge. That is when I notice him. Upon first glance, he just seems like an average kid. But in Painted Rock, Nebraska just being new makes you a rock star.

             
Tall. It is the first thing that strikes me about him, but in a place where well fed farmers dominate the population, tall isn’t all that. Except if you happen to be a tall, gangly monster and then height becomes a huge selling point. Well dressed, OK, maybe
that
is the most remarkable thing about him in a place where well fed farmers dominate the population. The fact he isn’t wearing a John Deere t-shirt or something bought at Higgins Feed and Seed puts him in a class all his own.

His
black hair curls perfectly to frame his face. For the first time in my life I want to touch someone as I realize that I want to wrap one of those curls around my dangerous and forbidden finger. I mentally shake myself as that errant thought makes my stomach drop into my feet. Monsters don’t run their fingers through others’ hair.

             
I continue to catalog his features and am more drawn in with every aspect of him. Hazel eyes, not especially pretty but they seem to have an unusual intensity as he stares out at the class, not at all shy or embarrassed to be new. As his eyes scan to my position our gazes lock and I can’t look away. Heat sears up my body and I almost explode when he smiles at me.
This guy is bad news.
I finally come to my senses and tear my eyes away, looking down at my scarred and battered desk in embarrassment. When I have the courage to look up, I am relieved that no one noticed. They were all too busy staring themselves. 

             
“Go ahead and take your seat, John and we can begin,” Mr. Scott finishes and I realize he has been introducing the newcomer and I didn’t catch a single word.
What is up with me?
I’ll have to get the run down from Lexi later and when she turns around to wink at me I get the feeling she knows everything there is to know about Mr. Make My Heart Stop and My Stomach Drop.

             
John slides into the only available seat, which of course is in the front row, right across from the teacher’s desk, pulls out a pen, notebook and text books and settles in for the lecture. I am pretty impressed by how at ease he seems settling in to a new class. I can’t imagine starting a new school a month into senior year. His parents must hate him. I continue to be fascinated by him when he doesn’t even look around. Maybe he doesn’t want to see all the faces fixed on him.