The Paranoid Thief (9 page)

Randolph rolled his eyes onto her from his
place on the floor, wondering how she could act so vulnerable and shy one
moment, then tough as nails the next. “Now that I’ve worked out the shyness in
you,” Jill commented, “I’ll tell you this. I enjoy sex. And I wouldn’t mind
sessions like this twice a week.” With that admission of her needs laid out
before her new partner, Jill got her legs under her and stood up off the floor,
adding, “Besides, Mel will probably send us off as a married couple, or
corporate executives, with you as my personal secretary. So being familiar with
each other’s bodies will only aid in this dissipation.”

Randolph watched her begin to stretch in
all directions from his place on the floor and decided to ask, “If you like sex
that much, why’d you wait six months?” He watched as Jill’s eyes slid his way,
then
moved elsewhere. When Jill doubled over and touched her
knees with her forehead, Randolph followed up his question and added, “I mean,
don’t you have someone special to spend time with?”

“I did,” Jill answered, somewhat reluctantly.
“He was an ensign in the Corps. He became possessive and accused me of sleeping
with the men. It was my mistake really, believing he could handle my taking
showers with my unit.” Jill stepped away from the spray so she could shake the
water out of her hair, and continued her story. “He was so possessive, one
night he believed I was out screwing one of the men on guard duty when I didn’t
answer my page. So to catch me at it, he snuck out to the guard post.
Unfortunately for him, an alert sentry saw his behavior, and acting on base
orders to shoot first, did so.” Jill looked down on Randolph with remembrance
in her eyes then finished her story with little emotion. “Because of this, I’ve
sworn off relationships. A good thing too, considering where I ended up. Now I
only screw my partners to keep my basic needs in check, and as Jessup was
killed six months back, well...” She tilted her head back and stared at the
white ceiling a moment to regain her composure, then squared her shoulders.
“Now come on, I’m starving.”

Randolph found during his limited time off,
his green badge let him explore only a few places with-in the building.
His warden, Mr. Bennett, evidently not trusting his pet project of
abducted criminals the room to venture into the everyday workings of the
corporation.
A good thing too,
he thought,
with so many computers busy
in everyday corporate America, I could get myself in a lot of trouble.
As for
the up keep on Mr. Bennett’s master criminals, the smart executive satisfied
his pets’ restrictive world with food and socializing, some of which was
attained by lunchroom privileges with all the daily workers, just as long as
they dressed the part and behaved themselves. Of course there is one other way
Mr. Bennett can and does use in controlling his band of thieves: companionship.
For although the threat of being killed by the touch of a
button kept his pets relatively contained, the ability to order in
companionship took the edge off the prisoners’ boredom.
But for
Randolph, he held very little opportunity to order up this kind of
entertainment, as Jill kept him well-occupied with her own needs.

A few days later, Randolph opened his door
for Jill and heard Mitch and Patrick coming down the hall, announcing,
“Morning, Jill, Randolph.
Looks as if our boredom’s over.
Mel just called Mitch and me into his office.”

Jill turned as they walked past her. “Has
he given you any hint as to what’s it about?”

To this Mitch snorted, while Patrick
answered, “You know better than that.”

“Yeah I know,” Jill replied.
“Just wanted to check to see if he’s slipping up.”

“But you know yourself,” Patrick added over
his shoulder, “
that’s
not the worst of it. Mel loves
to sit there all stately in his executive’s chair, giving you only half the
answers to the job he wishes done, just to see you squirm till he’s ready to
fill in the gaps.”

“Keeps you sharp!”
Mitch said through his nose without turning his head.

The two made the elevator by then, so Jill
cut the conversation off and walked into Randolph’s room looking peevish.

“Why the face?”
Randolph asked.

“
Mmm
, oh, just
tired I guess. As much as it scares me to take on a mission, I envy those two
and their chance to get out and see the world.” Then her nose got a whiff of
the eggs and sausage aromas, and her face relaxed. “At least if you get bored,
you could work in the cafeteria, and I dare say improve the food in this
place.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve worked the
mind-numbing world of a daily job, and you can have it. That’s why I’ve stuck
to thieving. Every job is different, every home or business presents new
challenges to keep my mind sharp and invigorated. Besides,” Randolph continued,
as she took her first bite of his homemade omelet, “I don’t ever want to catch
myself asking, ‘you want fries with that?’”

Jill snorted at his quip and made a grab
for her napkin, making Randolph smile in return. To give her a moment to regain
her composure, Randolph removed the chilled glasses of orange juice from the
refrigerator and sat next to her in the new chair he ordered. But as he set
them down, Jill made a statement which almost made him spill the drinks. “It’s
about time we started sleeping together.”

“Uh, isn’t that what we’ve been doing?”
Randolph asked in some puzzlement.

Jill eyed Randolph in annoyance before she
turned back to her plate and used her fork to cut another piece of the omelet
before she clarified herself, a bit sarcastically.
“No,
dummy.
I mean sharing a bed for the night. We need to deal with each
other’s idiosyncrasies so as not to fight with each other over something as
stupid as a night’s rest.” After that statement, Jill gave Randolph a little
time to digest her words before she washed down her eggs and announced, “I’ll
move some of my stuff in today.” She placed her glass down and tapped her lip
in thought. “I’ll need two shelves behind the mirror in the bathroom, half the
closet, two drawers in your dresser for underwear and one for folded clothes.
Oh yeah.”
She snapped her fingers in remembrance. “If you
haven’t got one, I’ll need a trashcan by the head, with disposable bags. I can
be a bit messy for a few days each month.” Jill turned to look at Randolph
after this and found him staring at her as if she were a bug-eyed creature from
a distant world. But rather than comment on his insult, she continued to tick
off items or things he’d need to get or do, as she finished off her meal. With
the aid of a napkin, Jill regrettably ended her meal and told him, “Well, times
a-wasting. We’ve a full day ahead of us.
First the gym then a
long run.
Lunch after a shower, and then we need to spend some time
getting reacquainted with the world news. After which I’ll move my stuff in
while you make us dinner.”

Randolph remained motionless for a second
or so after Jill stood, digesting her incredible announcement, and wondered in
whose universe he had signaled she should move in with him! But before he could
stabilize a comment on how intrusive he felt her suggestion to be, Jill eyed
him with a look that spoke louder than words what she would do if he even tried
to weasel out of her move.

Later, Randolph found Jill wasn’t kidding
about reading up on the news. He’d never thought he’d have to spend so much
time watching back issues of the world events just to understand today’s
reports.
I guess, as I’ve always kept
myself abreast of the daily world, I never considered how much information is
splashed out at the common man.
When she patted his head in reward for his
thoroughness before leaving to gather her things, Randolph refrained from
telling her his true curiosity was to see who was suing who and what corporate
owner was screwing over his or her employees. For these were the people who
gave him his next challenging job.
At
least they used to,
he amended. Then after dinner and an explanation into
the origins of their historic plates from Mexico, before it sold out to the
unified corporation
Vinco
, a Greek and Italian
conglomerate looking for cheaper labor, Jill headed for the shower while
Randolph cleaned up the kitchen. After which Randolph sat down with his
adventures in a spicy tea concoction and took a sip, turning on the
video-screen, he looked down into the dark brown liquid.
It still needs something, but what?

“Randolph,” Jill called his name from the
doorway. When Randolph didn’t answer her right away, as he was absorbed in his
thoughts of what he could use, Jill called out more impatiently, “Randolph!”

Shocked into the moment, Randolph turned,
“Uh, what?”

“I said I’m going to bed now, and I sleep
on the right side,” Jill repeated.

Randolph moved his eyes from her face to
the lacy, see-through, dark blue night gown with matching black thong, then
heard an annoyed sound come up out of her throat before she backed into the
room and slammed the door as if he’d offended her in some way. Randolph focused
on the door and puzzled over Jill’s reaction.
If she doesn’t want my eyes traveling to places other than her face,
then why wear such…
Randolph stopped his thoughts and shrugged it off as
one of life’s mysteries of women. He then settled back in the couch-chair,
forging the unanswerable questions, and finished off the video on the new ways
the
FoConning
Corporation had of rendering plastic
into any kind of wood, with all its smells and texture.

If Randolph dreamt at all, he hoped it was
of little interest, for it scurried away into non-memories when someone hit him
over the head with something soft, backed with a bit of force. Shocked awake by
such a rude gesture, Randolph’s mind scrambled, which forced him upright in
order to fend off another attack as a familiar voice angrily reminded him where
he was, while she accused, “I didn’t volunteer to sleep over in an empty bed.
Now get your butt up, your clothes off and in bed, Mister, and I mean now!”

With the use of his hands, Randolph
protected his head from further abuse, then yawned and asked, “What time is
it?”

“Its 1:00 in the frigging morning!” a very
enraged Jill informed him.

“Okay, okay, give me a minute.” Randolph
let his guard down to stretch and yawn yet again.

In answer to his request, Jill hit him even
harder with the pillow. “You’ve had three hours of moments mister, now move
it!” Not in any mood to await his pleasure, Jill threw her pillow at him and
grabbed his arm, hauling Randolph off the couch and into the bedroom. “We’ll
dispense with a shower, as we only have four hours left of this night,” she
declared, and shoved Randolph to the bed to strip him. Once Randolph quit his
constant complaints and stood to step out of his pants, Jill threw over the
covers and pointed forcefully he was to get in first. Once this was
accomplished, Jill crawled in and spooned up to Randolph’s chest and promptly
fell back asleep. Randolph spent an hour of the time remaining trying to figure
out where to put his hands, as he’d never truly “slept” with a woman before,
nor was he sure she wouldn’t bite off his head if he laid them in places
anatomically different from his own.

The next morning’s activities, after a
simple ham and cheese omelet, found the pair down in the scenario room, where
Jill, still pissed with his antics from last night, informed Randolph, “We’re
to secure files from a twenty-story building.”

A rather impossible task, Randolph thought,
as the room is only four levels high. But Jill pointed out the seven structures
which represented the buildings and how they were connected to each other. Not
at all thrilled with this farce of
a scenario, nor
Jill’s attitude one bit, Randolph spoke his mind. “Jill, I’m not a
fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants thief. A job like this takes me weeks, if not
months, to set up. Every building has so many unknowns, I spend—”

“We’ve thirteen hours, Randolph,” Jill cut
him off shortly, “which started the moment I picked up this clipboard.” She
emphasized the board by waving it in Randolph’s face. “So quit bellyaching, and
get me in the building.”

“Okay, fine. But tell me, what’s your role
in this?” Randolph asked. “This is my territory. I specialize in getting in and
out of places like this. What’s your bit in this caper?”

“In as much as I know, nothing, but we’re a
team and as such we work together, so do your job and we’ll see what comes
up.
”

What came up was Randolph’s ever increasing
temper.
Buildings are not meant to be
waltzed around in if you wish to remain free and breathing,
he growled
mentally.
Specific tools are needed on
each job. Hence I never render a time frame as I always design and construct my
own, given one tool has to accomplish many tasks.

Some long hours later, Randolph shook his
head while working on a problem he would have had a tool for, and hissed at
Jill out of frustration, “If you don’t get off my back, I’m going to make a
mistake!”

“You’ve had thirty minutes to figure this
one out, what’s the delay?” Jill asked irritably.

“I don’t work like this,” Randolph argued
just above a whisper, for he knew sound alarms were common in any building as a
first defense.

“You do now, so quit stalling. We’ve eight
hours and seven floors to go,” she hissed back, slapping his head in
frustration. Jill’s action caused Randolph’s hand to jerk and the pen laser he
held sliced a wire he was tracing. Jerking his arm back in belated reaction,
Randolph inadvertently jabbed Jill in the thigh which caused her to lose balance
and step into a proximity alarm he was trying to disable. The combination of
mistakes set off two alarms.

Once Jill regained her balance, she
registered the loud bells and red lights. This meant Randolph had slipped-up,
in her steamed mind. “How could you? Now I’m five minutes away from a migraine
that makes an anti-personal mine feel like a few ant bites!”

When Randolph stood up to yell at Jill for
her stupidity, he instead backed away from her murderous eyes and declared with
an accusing finger, “Don’t you dare look at me that way!” But he got no further
in that accusation, as Jill kicked him solidly in the balls and proceeded
without hesitation to whale on him like he was a favorite punching bag. When at
last semi-consciousness returned him to the world, Randolph found Jill on his
chest with his hands locked in a death grip on her slender arms, trying like
hell to keep her from smashing his brains out all over the floor.

Jill continued to scream obscenities at
Randolph’s clumsiness, till the moment the chips went off in their heads.

Randolph instantly released his hold of
Jill in an anguished cry, as excruciating agony cascaded up and down his body,
fraying every nerve, every muscle, while every ounce of material not connected
to his bones ejected out of every orifice.

~~~

Lying in a hospital bed for some hours
before he even chanced opening his eyes, Randolph heard footsteps approaching
before he forced his eyes open and saw Mr. Bennett had the nerve to show up by
his bedside. The executive looked Randolph over. Glancing at the chart over his
head, Mr. Bennett said, “Now that you know how it feels to slip up, I suspect
you’ll take our little exercises a bit more seriously.” He did a bit of
preening with his sapphire cuff links then looked to Jill’s bed without emotion
and then turned to walk away without a word more.

If Randolph had had a gun at hand, he just
might, even against all his principles, have used it.
But not to kill him,
he assured himself,
oh
no, that
would have been far too quick for
what I went through. No, I’d have laid into his corporate butt so he’d have to
stand from now on to achieve his daily routines, and that would have been just
the beginning!