The Penalty Box (11 page)

“Zero.” Katie breathed, beginning to feel light-headed.

“And this?” Gently cradling her forearm, he placed his lips to the soft underside of her wrist.

“Zero again,” Katie answered as mellow heat began whispering its way through her system. She closed her eyes, pummeled by dizziness. Was it him or the wine that made her head swim so? Did it matter?

“How 'bout this?”

Eyes still closed, Katie felt Paul's hand slide around to cup the back of her neck. Then it happened just the way she'd always dreamed it: his mouth on hers, soft, sweet, beguiling. The mellowness in her body seemed to burn off in a rose haze, making way for giddiness as his mouth pressed on, expertly parting her lips. Katie allowed herself to be steered into his embrace. How safe it felt here, sheltered in his warm, strong arms beneath the canopy of the willow tree. How right.

Mouths still enjoined, Paul gently lowered her to the ground, stretching out beside her. Katie felt the world tilt, and tilt again, as nausea shot up the back of her throat. She abruptly opened her eyes.

“You okay?” Paul whispered. The way he was smiling at her, so sweetly and full of concern, sent another volley of desire somersaulting through her.

Katie nodded weakly. She didn't want this to end. She wanted to be taken up in his arms again, where she felt cherished and protected. Perhaps the wooziness would pass if she simply ignored it and focused on him instead. Returning his smile, Katie let her fingers feather down his right cheek, delighted when he snatched her hand from his face and pressed his lips, hard, to her open palm.

“You are so, so lovely,” he declared.

I am so, so nauseous.
Katie's heart held still as he leaned in to kiss her again, his eyes wickedly blue. She closed her eyes, trying to feel it all at once—the desire, the heat, the longing—but couldn't get past the galloping dizziness that seemed to intensify with each passing second. Snuggling closer to her, Paul wrapped her in his arms. His mouth was making demands now that she struggled to meet. There was danger here, darkness. She knew it. She felt it. She wanted it.

And she would have succumbed to it, were it not for the mad tumbling of her stomach.

“Oh, God.” Tearing her mouth from his, Katie rolled away from him and proceeded to throw up on the grass as quietly and daintily as she could. Her head was roaring now, voices of humiliation and shame drowning out the angelic chorus that had heralded desire just moments before. When she was done, she rolled onto her back, covering her face with her hands. “Please take me home.”

“Katie, are you all right?” Paul asked anxiously.

“No, I'm not all right!” She peered at him through the screen of her hands. “I just threw up on a first date. Pass me a piece of apple, please. I'm sure my breath is disgusting.”

“Only if you take your hands away from your face.”

“Fine.” She tore her hands from her face but turned her head away, the mere motion sending another round of queasiness juddering through her. If I throw up again, she vowed, I'm going to pull a Virginia Woolf right here in the creek.

“Here.” Paul had come around to where she was facing, putting the apple slice in her hand. Katie's fingers closed around it and she popped it into her mouth. “Better?”

Katie nodded.

“It would be nice if you'd open your eyes,” Paul coaxed.

“Too embarrassed.”

“Don't be silly, Katie. C'mon.”

Katie reluctantly opened her eyes. Paul was sitting Indian-style on the grass, looking worried. “Are you okay? What just happened?”

Katie averted her gaze. “I didn't eat all day because I was so nervous about tonight, and then I sucked down three glasses of wine on an empty stomach, and
voila!
I turned into the fabulous new Tipsy Tillie doll! Just kiss her and she throws up on the grass! Batteries not included!”

“Oh, Katie.” He put his hand out but Katie rolled out of reach. “It's okay. Really. But why were you nervous?”

“Because I was seeing
you
,” she muttered.

“I'm flattered,” Paul replied softly.

“And I'm mortified.” She whipped off the scarf around her neck and handed it to him. “Do me a favor, will you? Strangle me.”

“Quit hiding behind jokes and talk to me.”

“I'm not hiding,” Katie insisted, acute embarrassment burning through her at being so transparent. When he didn't take the scarf, she retied it around her neck and rose unsteadily on her feet. “I really need to go home.”

“Why don't we try this again?”

“What, a date?” Just shaking her head made her eyeballs feel like loose marbles rolling around in her head. “I don't think so.”

“Why the hell not?” The edge of anger in his voice as he hurriedly gathered up their picnic foods and threw them into the basket got her attention. “So you drank on an empty stomach. So you threw up. So big deal.”

“I don't know, Paul.” She took a few unsteady steps. “I have to think about it.”

“What's to think about?” he demanded, slamming the picnic basket shut. “Katie?”

“Paul, I really need you to get me home.” The wine was making her temples pound and her stomach was still doing the samba. All she wanted was to crawl between the clean, crisp sheets of her childhood bed.

“Not until you tell me what you're thinking.”

“I'm
not
thinking, Paul. I'm drunk. And humiliated. And ashamed. And—”

“I've got the picture.” Taking her arm, he slowly walked with her to the car, opening the door for her. “We'll talk about this when you're feeling better.” He leaned down, face close to hers. “I'm not letting you off the hook, Fisher. Don't forget it.”

Katie just groaned and looked away.

 

 

“
Aunt Katie? Why
do you keep popping aspirin?”

Katie looked over at Tuck, anxiously bouncing along the brick path beside her. They were on their way to visit Mina at Windy Gables, the rehab facility. Katie loved the way these places always seemed to have names conjuring up images of serenity: Windy Gables, Seven Oaks. As if all the residents were peaceful, contented folks. She supposed it made sense, though. What else could you call it? Detox Acres? Cold Turkey Meadows?

“Aunt Katie has a headache. It's no big deal.”

The last thing she'd wanted to do when she got up that morning with the hangover from hell was drag her ass out of bed, but she'd promised to take Tuck to see Mina, and there was no way she was going to let him down. Besides, she wanted to see Mina, too. It was the first time since her sister had been admitted that she was allowed to have visitors. So here she was, sunglasses keeping the glare out of her eyes, aspirin not working nearly as well as she would have liked. It didn't help her mood when she'd come down to breakfast to find her mother pacing the kitchen floor like an expectant father.

“Well?” she demanded eagerly, following so close behind Katie as she went to get coffee that Katie could feel her breath on her neck. “How was your date?”

“It was great!” Katie chirped. “He kissed me and then I threw up in the grass. I was every boy's dream date.” When her mother pressed for details, Katie refused to talk about it. She took her coffee back upstairs to her room and hid there until it was time to bring Tuck to see Mina.

“You nervous?” she asked Tuck as they drew closer to the large, ivy covered brick building that once had been the private home of Didsbury's first banker. The setting was beautiful: gently sloping lawns, plenty of trees. It
was
peaceful here.

Tuck barely shook his head.

“It's okay to be nervous, you know,” Katie assured him. “I'm nervous, too.”

Tuck just shrugged.

Entering the building, they were directed to a large glass conservatory at the back of the mansion called “the lounge,” filled with plants and patio furniture. Katie was relieved to see there were already other people there. It made what she and Tuck were about to do feel less awkward somehow.

A minute later, Mina came through the door. She was tinier than Katie had ever seen her, the jeans and T-shirt hanging off her small wiry frame making her look more like an adolescent boy than a grown woman. Her hair was cut pixie short, making her big, long lashed eyes seem even more vulnerable than usual. There was an awkward split second where they all looked at each other. Then Mina broke into a broad smile and ran toward them, arms outstretched.

Katie watched as she gathered Tuck into her arms, covering him with kisses. Tuck stood rigid, arms at his side, his expression unreadable as he endured his mother's loving onslaught. Katie desperately wished he'd hug Mina back, and almost came right out and said so, but she didn't want to push him to do anything he didn't want to do. Finally, Mina released Tuck from her crushing embrace, riffling his hair.

“I can't believe how big you got, buddy.”

Tuck rolled eyes, absently kicking the toe of his sneaker against the glossy teak floor.

“Katie.” Mina's eyes teared up as she drew Katie into an embrace, which Katie returned. Katie couldn't believe how fragile her sister felt, the sharp bones of her shoulder blades poking through her T-shirt like a little bird's wings.

“Are they feeding you enough?” Katie asked.

“Figures you'd ask about food,” said Mina. It was said with affection, so Katie tried not to take it personally, even though it did smart a little.

Mina glanced around the conservatory. “It's so stuffy in here,” she murmured to Tuck and Katie. “Why don't we take a walk outside instead?”

They started out the conservatory door, Tuck running ahead.

“He hates me,” Mina lamented as soon as Tuck was far away enough not to hear, pulling a pack of cigarettes and some matches out of her T-shirt pocket.

“He doesn't hate you,” Katie soothed. “He's angry at you. And he has every right to be.”

“I know, I know,” said Mina, lighting up.

“You're allowed to smoke here?”

Mina's laugh rang with disbelief. “Are you kidding me?
Everyone
smokes here. And drinks tons of coffee! It's insane.” She inhaled, blowing out a puff of smoke. “Transferring our addictions to something legal, that's what it boils down to.”

“How are you doing?” Katie asked tentatively as they veered off the winding brick path, choosing instead to follow Tuck down a large sloping lawn that led to some benches beneath a cluster of magnificent oaks.

“Okay. Not to sound like a cliché, but I'm taking it one step at a time.”

Katie nodded. “Listen, do you want some time alone with Tuck? I could get lost for an hour or so, go get some coffee —”

Mina put her hand on Katie's arm, shaking her head. “It's okay. I have to let him come to me. This is fine.”

“You sure?”

“I'm sure.”

They watched as Tuck ran in loops around the trees, in his own world entirely.

“Remember that feeling?” Mina said wistfully, rubbing her arms.

“Not really,” Katie replied dryly.

“Oh, you.” Mina sounded just like their mother. “I'm so glad you came.” She slipped her free hand into Katie's.

“Me, too.”

“Is he doing okay?” Mina asked, eyes still following Tuck. “I mean—
really
?”

Katie squeezed her sister's hand. “He's doing fine. The school year just started and he really likes his teacher. He's playing hockey. Mom thinks he spends too much time on the computer, and I'm starting to agree.”

“How
is
mom?” Mina purred.

“Don't start, Mina, okay? Mom really saved your ass.”

“Hey, I'm not denying it.” Mina took another drag off her cigarette. “There's just a ton of stuff coming out in therapy that makes me realize a lot of the way I am has to do with the family.”

“Like?”

Mina glanced away. “You know, Dad's death, that maybe that's what made me act out. It was a way of dealing with the sadness as well as being a pathetic bid to get Mom's attention.”

Katie swallowed. “Makes sense.”

“Not as effective as cramming a box of Twinkies down my throat but hey, we all have to find what works for us.” Before Katie could protest Mina took a step back, admiring her.

“You look great, Katie. Really.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you still doing—whatsitcalled—Lard Losers?”

“Fat Fighters,” Katie corrected. “Yes, I am.”

“Still running?”

“Yup.”

“Wow,” said Mina, impressed. “More power to you. I'd rather listen to Mom sing than exercise.” She threw her cigarette down on the ground, stubbing it out with the heel of her Frye boot.

“Unfortunately, some of us
have
to exercise.” Which reminded Katie: Even if she still felt crummy when she and Tuck got back to Didsbury, she was going for a run.

“Mom, look!”

Katie and Mina both looked to see Tuck do a series of perfectly executed back flips. Katie applauded while Mina shouted “Way to go, bro!” and lit up another cigarette. They ambled down to where Tuck was still giving his impromptu gymnastics display.

“Want to sit with us?” Mina asked, gesturing toward a bench.

Tuck sprang to his feet. “Boring!”

“I'll give you boring,” Mina replied, darting after him. Tuck shrieked and began running from her, laughing. Watching them together, Katie was struck by how Mina seemed more like Tuck's older sibling than his mother, which had always been the case. Perhaps that was part of the problem: Mina didn't really know how to mother Tuck, having been virtually a child herself when she'd had him.