The Perfect Life (17 page)

“Anyone need an extra six bucks?” he asked, and the room erupted in cheers. “Okay, okay, settle down and I’ll tell you how you can win it.” Again, everyone instantly stopped talking. “I’m gonna do a magic trick with these two bills, and the first person who can tell me how I did it will get them. Sound good?”

A chorus of yeses followed, most of the little ones perched on the edge of their chairs, almost unable to contain their excitement. I gradually backed away from where Oliver was holding court, and joined Ms. Lovell by the wall.

“I’m sorry for disrupting class,” I whispered my apology. “I wasn’t thinking about what time it was.”

“No worries, Monroe.” She patted my shoulder soothingly. “You know you’re welcome to stop in any time. The kids look forward to your visits, and it appears they’re quite taken with your friend too. I enjoy seeing the smiles on their faces.”

We both turned our attention to the front of the room, where Oliver called all of the kids up to circle around him, making sure everyone could see. He presented the bills up-close to them, front and back, until everyone was convinced they weren’t tampered with. Next, he laid the bills on a table and began rolling them up, only to unroll them and discover they had changed places. Another wave of murmurs ensued as they all started talking amongst themselves, trying to figure out how he’d done it.

Abruptly, JoJo stood up in a chair and said, “Because of the way you laid out the money at the beginning, the one-dollar bill rolled up earlier than the five, which made it roll over first.” She jumped down with a smug grin and marched over to the table, snatching the money up and shoving it in her pocket. “Thanks for the pack of cigarettes, jackass. I’m done with this bullshit today.” Then she marched out of the room, and a few seconds later, we heard a door slam upstairs.

Oliver immediately swung his attention over to me and lifted his eyebrows, silently asking me if that was JoJo. With a sigh, I nodded and took off after her as he fished out another dollar bill from his wallet for another trick. Over an hour later, all I’d gotten out of her was that Oliver was ‘fucking stupid, just like every other guy on the planet.’ She refused to comment on the smoking reference, and when she finally got fed up with me talking, she used a few choice words, demanding I leave her alone, which I did . . . begrudgingly.

By the time I made it back downstairs, Oliver was sitting in between Alex and Aaron, helping them with a dinosaur jigsaw puzzle. They were my youngest—brothers, six and eight—who were taken from their aunt and uncle a little over a year ago for flagrant neglect. Once they were brought in for further examination, the bruises and burn marks were discovered, all purposely placed where no one could see them when they were dressed. Somehow, neither had lost their spirit, and even though they were both quite rambunctious little rascals, they were the sweetest little boys. Alex was held back after his first year of kindergarten due to his severe dyslexia but that summer, we’d made great progress with him, and he was doing much better this time around. Aaron was secretly a little cuddlebug when no one was looking, but he’d deny it if I said anything.

Almost as if he felt my presence, he looked up as soon as I entered the room and shot me a huge smile. I couldn’t help but return one of my own as I saw the two boys stare up at him with adoring gazes, hanging onto his every word. Even though it wasn’t the best of days with JoJo, it pleased me immensely to see the little ones so happy.

Once the T-Rex was fully put together, Oliver managed to escape their clingy hands, and we said goodbye to the rest of the group, promising we’d be back soon. Neither of us said a word during the walk back to my car, both completely lost in our own thoughts. Mine were swirling around so quickly that I began to feel dizzy and confused. The kiss . . . what it meant for me . . . how Colin was going to react . . . hiring Effie . . . JoJo and her outburst . . . the kiss.

The short ride to his apartment was more of the same, with only the radio to fill the suffocating silence. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I knew I had to talk to Colin before anything. When I pulled up in front of his building, every muscle in my body drew taught as the friction between us intensified.

“So, um, what’s the schedule for tomorrow?” he asked nervously as he finally looked over at me.

I was struggling to get through the afternoon; my brain couldn’t even process the next day. “I’m not sure. I guess we need to get a game plan together on visiting the social work school at Boston University and advertising for the job openings.”

“We’re going to need to set up a temporary office for the next six weeks or so until we get in the house,” he reminded me from our earlier discussion over lunch. “I’m assuming you and Colin don’t want to use your house for that, so we can set up on the kitchen table in my place. It’s not like I’m cooking a lot of meals or using the dining room to entertain guests, and it’s a pretty good size where we can both set up workstations.”

The thought of being alone with him in his apartment set off all kinds of alarms in my head—and between my legs—but without a better alternative, I pushed away the guilty thoughts and nodded. “Okay, that sounds good. I’ll be here around nine in the morning.”

He opened the car door and climbed out, catching my gaze one last time before sending me on my way. “I know I already said it, but I’m really sorry, Monroe. I didn’t come here to cause you any issues. That’s not my style.”

Nodding, I gripped the steering wheel tighter and shifted my attention forward out the windshield. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. I just need some time to process everything.”

“Yeah, me too . . .” He stalled for an extra second or two like he was going to say something else, but he didn’t.

The door slammed shut and I took off, my tires squealing as I peeled out. The truth hammered in my chest.

The only thing I wanted him to be sorry about was kissing me just
once
.

“I drank her

silence like

liquor and it destroyed

me the same,

but I fell for all of her,

hopelessly and endlessly.

My soul will always be lifted

when she walks into the room

and my blood will always dance

when her breath passes through me.”

–Christopher Poindexter

Oliver

THE MOMENT SHE
sped away from my apartment, the eighteen-hour countdown began until she’d show up the next morning. I had eighteen hours to pull my head out of my ass, once and for all, and figure out how to get through the next six months of working alongside her until I could return home to Chicago. No matter what the connection was that she and I shared, it didn’t matter. She was a married woman, and I had no interest in being ‘the other man.’

But I’d never forget that kiss.

Not ever.

“I hold a hope in me

that the reason

we all feel so heavy

is that we carry

a little piece of

each other

inside us.”

–Christopher Poindexter

Monroe

TIME HAD NEVER
moved as slowly as it did that night while I waited for Colin to get home from practice. Regardless of my attempts to keep busy by doing meaningless chores around the house, I played out at least ten different scenarios of how the conversation would go in my head, but to be quite honest, I had no idea how my husband was going to react when I told him that Oliver and I had kissed. It wasn’t as though we had a traditional marriage by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, he
did
cheat on me with Seth for the first few years we dated, and then—with my approval, of course—continued their on-and-off-again relationship ever since, even after we got married. But nevertheless, I had a hunch he wasn’t going to be thrilled with my news . . . and I despised confrontation, especially with the person I loved most in the world.

Unease gurgled in my stomach while dread pounded in my skull. I wished nothing more than for it to be the next day already, no matter what the outcome of the discussion would be; I just wanted it over. Emerging from the closet where I’d finished the annual autumn shift of my short-sleeved blouses and tanks to the back of the wardrobe while pushing the sweaters and cardigans forward, I looked over at the clock on the dresser. 10:17.
Ugh . . . where in the world is he?

Trudging down the stairs to the kitchen for a hot chai latte and some graham crackers, I rubbed my temples with my fingertips as I quietly wished away the anxiety that throbbed insistently behind my eyes. When I reached the landing to the main level, I flipped on the light switch to illuminate the living room and dining area, and for the first time since we’d lived there, the house seemed empty and way too big. The space was decorated in rich, warm hues of burgundy and oak with oversized furniture that, at first glance, appeared to be homey and inviting, but other than waiting for Effie before the baseball game a few weeks prior, I couldn’t remember the last time Colin and I had hung out in there at the same time.

During the off-season, we ate breakfast together in the kitchen, but then he’d be off giving motivational speeches, being interviewed for articles and news pieces, and filming commercials, while I was either up at the campus library working on my thesis or at the children’s home, helping with the kids. We’d meet back in the kitchen for a quick dinner and a recap of our day before retreating to our separate master suites, only to start the entire process over the next day. Then, once training camp started, we became two ships passing in the night . . . or rather, in the early morning. Some days, I didn’t see him at all and our only communication was via text messages. We never watched movies or listened to music with one another anymore. He never asked me to help him study his playbook like he used to do in college. My life completely revolved around Mending Hearts and the kids, while his primary focus was football and branding his name.

Not that any of this was exactly new to me. It had been that way since we’d gotten married and moved from Ann Arbor to Boston, both of us planting our roots in the community where we planned to make our mark. It was what we both wanted. It was part of our plan. So what I couldn’t understand was why I suddenly felt so alone.