He straightened.
"What?"
"I could be fertile." How was that for dropping a bomb?
"You mean this morning--"
She waved her hand. "I used a Shield this morning. I'm talking about last time."
Propping one shoulder against the door, he rubbed the beard growth on his chin. "Why'd you tell me otherwise?"
"Because it was too late to take back what we'd done, and I was the one who wouldn't let you stop. I figured it was my problem, so I'd pay the consequences.
But I didn't think we'd...I never dreamed we'd be together again. I used birth control this morning, but we both know the barrier methods aren't as absolutely reliable as a tubal ligation. I feel like--" she raked her fingers through her hair "--
it's not right for me to be making the decision to take that chance on my own."
He studied her. "For the record, I would've gone for it," he said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that if you'd told me you hadn't had your tubes tied before we made love this morning, but said you had a Shield, I would've wanted to continue."
That was a nice thing to say, to take partial responsibility. She couldn't help being impressed. But did he truly realize that using a Shield this morning didn't 193
change the fact that she might already be pregnant? Why wasn't he angry that she'd taken such a huge risk without warning him? "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I
wasn't
thinking."
"I like it when you're not thinking," he said with a grin.
She smiled back. "So what's for breakfast?"
194
Eighteen
W
earing only his jeans, Sebastian held his coffee cup loosely. He was sitting at the breakfast table with Jane, trying to figure out why she made him feel better when Constance always made him feel worse. It made no sense. There'd been times over the past few months when his former girlfriend had wanted to make love and he'd had no interest, times she'd begged him to open up and talk and he'd been unable to do so.
But it was different with Jane. Was it because she understood what he felt without his having to explain? That was part of it, but he liked too much about her to pin his feelings exclusively on her understanding. Mary had kids. She understood, too. But he hadn't been attracted to her.
"So what are we going to do about Malcolm?" Jane asked.
He'd just told her about the e-mail Malcolm had sent Mary, Mary's response and the intruder she'd subsequently had at her house. "I don't know."
"I mean, Mary can't go back home."
Setting down his coffee cup, he leaned back and stretched out his legs. "No, not until we're sure Malcolm has moved on."
"What makes you think he'll move on?"
"Escape is his best option in terms of risk management."
"But killers don't necessarily think logically. You've chased him all over kingdom come. Maybe he's planning to put a stop to it here."
The fact that Malcolm had broken into Mary's house suggested he wasn't willing to let her betrayal go unpunished. But Malcolm was basically a coward.
Sebastian had always believed it, and he believed it more than ever now. "You think he might try to get rid of me
and
Mary?"
She added some cream to her coffee. "That's what Oliver would do. He'd stay until he tied up the loose ends, then he'd move on."
Malcolm wasn't the same kind of killer. But he was definitely the kind of man who'd hold a grudge. And this was growing more personal by the day. "As long as he comes after me and not Mary, I wouldn't mind. I'd rather put an end to it, too."
195
"One way or another."
"It's not a death wish. I'm just tired of living like this."
The phone rang before she could comment. While she answered, Sebastian started clearing away the dishes.
"Don't make Grandma drive all the way over here," she said into the phone.
"I'll bring it to school." She listened for a bit. "You want to what?"
Sebastian glanced over his shoulder and found her watching him. When their eyes met, she turned away.
"No, I'll bring it to you...Because you don't need to come home right now...I'll feed your hamster. I do that when you're gone on the weekends, don't I?...Kate, it'll make you late for school...I said I'll bring it, okay?...I love you...Bye."
"Kate forget something?" he asked as she hung up.
"Yeah, but it's not a problem. I can drop it off at the school."
He leaned against the counter. "You seem a little rattled."
She set the phone on the counter. "I'm just wondering what I would've done if they'd shown up here without calling first," she said with a nervous laugh. "Can you imagine? I haven't even gone on a
date
since her father was killed."
"Does she know Skye's the one who killed her father?"
"Yes."
"And she knows why?"
"Yes."
"If she can handle that, she can handle anything," he said. He was about to add, "There's nothing wrong with having a male friend," but didn't. He doubted it would be smart to categorize their relationship. At this stage, neither one of them really knew what they were to each other.
"But it's eight o'clock in the morning," she muttered.
"Maybe I stopped by because we're working together."
She arched her eyebrows at his state of half-dress. "Like that? It's not as if she would've waited for you to put on your shirt before barging in. She has a key.
This is her home."
It would've been awkward. But he was too stubborn to concede. He didn't want to feel he had to be hidden or segregated from her regular life. "Having a romantic interest isn't exactly unnatural, Jane."
"It's more complicated than that and you know it."
196
She started to slip away, probably so she could shower and dress, but he caught her elbow. "I'd like to meet Kate." If he could back up a little and include her daughter, maybe Jane would be able to relax, maybe she wouldn't view him as merely a guilty pleasure.
"Sure. Someday," she said.
"Today. Why don't I take you both to dinner?"
She pretended to consider the invitation, but he knew she wouldn't accept it.
"I don't think so. There's no need to confuse her. You'll be going back to New York when this is all over, and then..."
He let go of her. He understood why she might be extraprotective, especially of Kate. But she had to get beyond that sometime. "And then she'll have a friend in a different state. So will you. How can that hurt?"
"There's just no point."
"Because..."
"Because this is a temporary fling."
That was how she justified getting involved in such a high-risk situation?
"What if you're pregnant?"
Twin spots of color appeared high on her cheeks. "We'll deal with that if it happens."
"Wouldn't it be easier to explain if she'd at least met me? Maybe she's only twelve, but surely she knows it takes two to make a baby."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I can't handle even the possibility. Not now. I mean...I'm forty-six. I'm too old to be having another child."
Sebastian shrugged. "People are waiting longer these days."
"And if they wait this long, they face some serious risks."
"I realize that. But even when the mother's forty-six, most babies are healthy."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm just not going to panic, that's all." He had no idea how they'd work out the details but, as crazy as he knew it was, a baby sort of made sense to him. Why he'd want to have that baby with a woman he'd only known for a few days, he couldn't say. Maybe it was because Constance had been so definite about not wanting children. It hadn't been a problem between them. When he'd made a commitment to her, he'd been satisfied with the one kid he had. Since the issue was already decided, he'd never reconsidered. But now...
197
He wouldn't be unhappy if it happened, he decided. Maybe another child would help fill the terrible void in his heart since Colton's murder. Maybe he'd have a little girl this time. Although no one could take the place of his son, it'd be nice to have a child he could love as much.
But having a baby with Jane would be a nightmare if she wasn't as pleased as he was. "Would you be too upset?" he asked.
She folded her arms in a protective manner. "I don't know if
upset
is the right word."
What would she do? A man had so little control. "Would you consider an abortion?"
"I can't even think about that. Not right now."
"Just so you know, if you are pregnant and you don't want the baby, I'll take it," he said. "You could tell everyone you agreed to be a surrogate. It'll be an easy out."
Pressing a hand to her stomach, she said, "Don't you dare offer me money!"
He chuckled. She wouldn't worry about that if she knew his financial situation. "I wouldn't dream of it."
"Okay, then. Let's make sure there
is
a baby before we discuss it further.
Deal?"
"Deal."
"I'm having a shower."
He reclaimed the dish towel. "I won't be here when you get out. I'm going over to check on Mary."
"I'll call you as soon as I get hold of David. I'm hoping one of Mary's neighbors jotted down Malcolm's license-plate number."
"Or at least noticed the make and model of his car."
"That would help."
They were finished with the conversation and had, essentially, said goodbye.
But she didn't leave the kitchen. She stood there studying him.
"What is it?" he asked.
Her expression grew wistful. "Do you
really
want a baby?"
The thought triggered another smile. "What do you think?"
She shook her head. "It seems like it's never the man who wants a child."
"This time it is," he said.
"It'd be a change." With that understatement, she headed down the hall. But 198
a frantic knock at the front door stopped her from getting in the shower.
Jane wasn't sure whether she should ask Sebastian to duck out of sight, or if she should answer the door while he was bare chested and drying dishes in her kitchen. She tried to check through the window but whoever it was stood too far to the right. Surely, Betty hadn't brought Kate home to get her phys ed clothes. Jane had been very clear with her daughter on the phone that she wasn't to come home right now....
A trickle of anxiety made her tense. "Who is it?" she called out to her visitor.
While she waited for a response, she half expected to hear a key in the lock.
But it wasn't Kate.
"Jane? It's Bob."
She breathed out in relief. Bob lived in the unit at the far end of the building.
She saw him out walking his dog occasionally. They exchanged pleasantries, but this was the first time he'd ever come to her door. "Um, I'm not quite up and ready for the day, Bob. What can I do for you?"
"There's a Lexus in visitor parking. Do you have any idea who it belongs to?"
Her eyes cut to Sebastian.
"Was I supposed to park somewhere else?" he whispered.
"I know the owner," she told Bob through the door. "He's a...a work associate."
"Who just might be the father of your baby," Sebastian teased.
She couldn't help smiling as she waved him off. "Stop it. Something's wrong."
"They'd better not have towed my car," he grumbled as he strode toward the bedroom.
"Can you have him come out here?" Bob asked.
"What's the matter?" Jane replied. "Do you need him to move his vehicle?"
"No. The police are in the lot. They want to talk to him."
At the word
police
Sebastian whipped around to face her before reaching her bedroom.
"What's going on?" she asked him.
Obviously as confused as she was, he shook his head, so she repeated the question more loudly, this time for Bob. "What's going on?"
199
"I'd rather not yell it through the door," he said.
Sebastian disappeared from the hallway. After running her hand self-consciously through her hair and making sure her robe covered any hint of nudity, she turned the dead bolt. "What is it?" she asked once she'd opened the door.
A bone-thin retired widower, her neighbor had on his typical polyester slacks, Windbreaker and comfortable shoes. "There's been a murder," he explained.
The words were so far from what she'd been expecting, it took her a moment to absorb their meaning. "A...
what?
"
Sebastian came up behind her, fully dressed.
"There's been a murder." Bob's eyes shifted to Sebastian. "Do you own the white Lexus in visitor parking?"
A muscle twitched in Sebastian's cheek. "I do."
"What does his car have to do with anything?" Jane asked.
"There's a body in the backseat."
Sebastian was already stepping around her. The levity and excitement she'd seen in his face a few minutes earlier were gone. Now he was alert and intent on finding out what had happened. But he stopped when he saw her horrified expression.
"Jane?"
There was a strange numbness creeping up from her toes. But she ignored his concern, keeping her focus on Bob. He was the one with the information. "A
body?
" she repeated. "Whose is it? Surely, no one in the complex."
"No." Her neighbor shoved his hands in his pockets and jingled his change.
"It's an African-American girl."
Terror clutched at Jane's chest. "How old?"
"Early twenties or so. Difficult to tell. I've never seen her before. She's not from around here, if that's what you're asking."
That wasn't what she was asking. She was afraid this girl was one of the two she'd been hoping and praying to save.
The floor began to spin. She grabbed for the door handle and felt Sebastian haul her up against him before she could even touch it. "Breathe," he murmured.
She nodded, swallowing hard. "I'm fine," she said, but he didn't believe her.
He forced her to sit down at the kitchen table.
"You okay?" he asked and waited until she met his eyes and he could tell 200
that she was before he stalked off and out the door.