The Perfect Retreat (26 page)

Kerr shrugged. ‘Fine, fine, whatever,’ he said, and he meant it. He had new plans now, and they certainly didn’t involve Tatiana and her need for public adoration. He had his own public to adore him and he was planning on getting a new fanbase, in the US.

Tatiana touched his face. ‘You’re a good man,’ she said insincerely.

Johnny looked at Kerr. As far as he could see there was nothing about Kerr that was decent, and certainly not the way he spoke about his own flesh and blood. So the child was simple; what was the harm in that?

Probably took after his old man, thought Johnny, as he left Middlemist with Tatiana.

Johnny had a younger brother who wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he did OK. Didn’t get through Eton of course, but his parents had made sure he learned the basics and now he had a good life on the farm, working with the animals. Johnny liked his brother’s company; he kept it simple in an otherwise complex world of art and reputation.

Kerr had watched as Willow and Lucy left to pick up Lucian. Eliza stood beside him.

‘Where’s the weeping retard?’ she asked.

‘Her gay friend has taken her up to bed,’ said Kerr of the boy in the pink scarf.

Eliza raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow. That boy wasn’t gay, she was sure of it, but she knew it was best to keep her mouth shut.

‘So what now?’ she asked. ‘America?’ She looked at his doughy profile.

The last few years hadn’t been kind to Kerr and his looks were puffy. Too many carbs, too much cocaine, thought Eliza.

Kerr nodded. ‘But first I have to sort a few things out with my children.’

Eliza tried not to roll her eyes. Hopefully he would give up on his dream of taking the girl with them to LA. She seemed vile and looked just like her mother, the hysterical tyrant. Even Eliza was shocked at Willow’s outburst. Americans, she thought; too many emotions.

Kerr pulled out his phone, walked into the drawing room and dialled a number.

‘Gerry; Kerr. Listen, we’ve had a situation up here with Willow. Yep, she lost one of the kids, fucking her boyfriend at the time I think, and then she had a complete meltdown. I’m going for complete custody,’ he said down the phone.

‘Yeah and one more thing mate, I need you to look into a school that takes retarded children. Yep, full-time boarding,’ he said, and he hung up the phone.

Eliza stood in the doorway, watching and listening.

‘You cannot be serious?’ she said. ‘There is no way I am looking after three children, Kerr; not even for a minute. You have completely the wrong idea about me.’

Kerr laughed, ‘So the evil stepmother does exist.’

‘Yes, I’m afraid she does,’ said Eliza in her primmest voice.

‘Don’t worry darlin’,’ he said. ‘It’s just for the money. She has a cosmetics contract and this film. There’s more to come, and she can fucking look after me in my old age,’ he said, and pulled Eliza into his arms.

She wrapped one leg around him, her black Jil Sander trousers pulling across his thin thigh, and she shoved her tongue into his mouth.

‘I like the way you think,’ she said as she pulled away from him.

Merritt stood outside the French doors watching them. He realised Willow had been telling the truth about Kerr. He was disgusting, and a pig of a father.

It still didn’t redeem her for her treatment of Kitty though, he thought, and he wanted to weep thinking of Kitty
struggling
for all those years, trying to learn to read on her own. The way her father used to yell at her, calling her stupid and telling her to try harder at school.

He couldn’t hear what Kerr and Eliza were saying, but he knew it was something Machiavellian. Eliza was awful and it hadn’t taken him long into the marriage to realise it. Actually he was grateful that Johnny had taken Eliza off his hands, otherwise he would have had to have given her half of Middlemist.

He had wondered over the years what Johnny had seen in her, and now he understood. Eliza was the sort of woman a man needed when they didn’t know themselves. Before they matured.

Merritt was socially inept when they met. She had brought him into the world with her vivacity. Johnny was living with the pressure of a younger brother who would never amount to anything, so his ambitious parents had put the heavy mantle of success onto Johnny’s shoulders. Eliza gave him direction and pushed him the way he needed to go. She was a muse with standards, he thought, and Willow came to his mind.

She wasn’t back yet. Kitty had left with Ivo. He didn’t know where she had gone; she still wasn’t answering her phone.

He heard the sound of tyres on the gravel driveway and he walked around to the side of the house. He saw Lucian and George tumbling out of Willow’s Range Rover.

‘Hello there! Go off on an adventure did we?’ he said to Lucian, who ran to Merritt holding Custard and a piece of paper.

Willow walked straight past him with her head held high. Ignoring Kerr waiting in the hallway, she walked into her room, picked up her jewellery case and a file filled wi
th docu
ments. Taking a sleeping Jinty from the cot, she
dragged Poppy out of bed by the hand and walked downstairs
again.

Putting Jinty into the car seat, Merritt watched her. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked her.

‘You told me to go and we’re going,’ she said.

Poppy climbed into the car and Willow took Lucian by the hand and put him in the car beside her. Kerr walked out. ‘Just a minute Willow, we need to talk,’ he said, looking serious and folding his hands across his chest.

Willow looked at him. ‘We’ve nothing to say to each other. You want to talk to me, then go through my lawyer,’ she said, and she got into the car.

‘You remember, we talk or I spill the secret, Willow,’ said Kerr, his head turned to the side as though giving her a warning.

‘Oh fuck off, I don’t care any more,’ said Willow wearily.

She looked at Merritt and Lucy. ‘You want to know my big secret?’ she asked. They stood silent, unsure what to answer.

Willow started to laugh. ‘You know my Oscar? You know how it was presented by Roger Wood? The oldest man in show business – he died soon after, you know? Well guess what? I didn’t fucking win. It was a mistake. He read out my name as a nominee, not the actual winner.’

Willow started to laugh and laugh, as though relieved to finally have the monkey off her back.

Lucy’s jaw dropped open. Merritt stood in shock.

‘So there, Kerr, I have done it. I have told the big secret. I was contracted to secrecy by the Academy and only Kerr, me and Roger know – but he’s dead now so no worries there,’ she said to Merritt and Lucy.

‘I am a terrible actress, a terrible mother, a terrible wife, and now, it seems, a terrible lover. Lucy, you would do best to be rid of me. I’m a hoax,’ she said, laughing and crying at the same time.

‘Do you want to take George?’ Merritt asked, holding out the puppy.

‘What, and fuck him up as well?’ she asked, and she looked at Merritt and stopped laughing. ‘And I fucked it up with you, and I really love you. I was horrible to Kitty. And you want to know something?’

Merritt nodded, his own eyes welling with tears.

‘Lucian knew he belonged here, because he knew how to write down some letters at the police station,’ she cried.

‘He wrote Middlemist?’ asked Kerr, astounded.

‘No,’ said Willow as she got into the car. ‘He wrote Merritt’s name. He missed one “r” and one “t” and they thought he wanted a certificate of merit. So they printed him one out.’

And she wound up the window and sped off down the driveway with a spray of gravel flying into Merritt and Kerr’s faces.

Kitty sat despairingly on the bed where she and Ivo had spent the afternoon in bliss.

‘Why did you tell them?’ she asked for the thirteenth time.

‘Because I had to stand up for you,’ he explained patiently.

‘I didn’t want anyone to know,’ she cried again, shaking off his arm when he tried to comfort her. ‘Now everyone knows that I’m stupid.’

‘Nobody thinks you’re stupid; just that you can’t read yet.’

‘I won’t ever be able to read,’ she said, and she stood up defiantly. ‘And you know what?’

‘What?’ he asked, her swollen eyes and pale face breaking his heart.

‘It doesn’t matter. I’ll be a cleaner or something,’ she said.

‘How will you read the instructions on the bottles?’ he asked gently.

‘Then I’ll be a chef.’

‘How will you read the recipes?’ He looked at her little face and wanted to kiss her, but he knew she would push him away.

‘I’ll find something to do, something that doesn’t require fucking reading,’ she said, and she walked to the door.

‘Where are you going?’ he asked.

‘Back to Middlemist,’ she said, nervous at facing Willow – that was, if she was still there. She had heard the way Merritt had told her to leave, and it broke her heart.

‘What’s there? I’m here,’ he said, suddenly fearful.

Kitty looked him in the eye and set her small shoulders. ‘I know you thought you were doing the right thing, but I can’t forgive you for telling everyone, including that awful Eliza, the most gossipy person in the world.’

‘Kitty please,’ implored Ivo. ‘Don’t do this.’

‘You did this Ivo,’ she said, and she walked out of the room and down to the bus stop to wait for her ride. If she could read then she would be able to pass her driving test, she thought to herself, and then she wouldn’t have to sit at the bus stop like some sort of sad backpacker.

Ivo chased her across the street. ‘Why are you punishing me when all I did was try to help you?’ he demanded, his face angry.

Kitty saw the bus coming in the distance and felt in her pocket for some loose change.

‘Just leave me be Ivo, it’s not like we were ever going to be forever anyway.’ She turned to him.

‘Why not?’ he asked. ‘Why do you even assume that?’

‘Because I know about you and your life, and there’s no room in it for an illiterate girl, I’m guessing,’ she spat at him.

‘Well I guess you’ll never find out, will you?’ he yelled at her.

The bus pulled up and Kitty got on. She paid her fare and sat down at the back, away from the side Ivo was on.

Ivo jumped onto the steps.

‘Fare please,’ said the driver.

‘Um, I don’t have it. Can I pay you back tomorrow?’ asked Ivo.

‘No fare no ride,’ said the driver, looking ahead.

Ivo swore under his breath and stepped off the bus. ‘You’re making a huge mistake Kitty!’ he yelled, and she looked away as the bus pulled onto the road.

I already made it, she thought, when I let you into my life. And she steeled herself for her reunion with Willow.

Merritt walked through the house, happy to have it to himself again. Kerr and Eliza had skulked away; hatching evil plans for another day, he thought. Kitty walked through the front door. She took one look at him and burst into tears again.

Taking her in his arms, he held her for a long time. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Kitty Kat?’ he asked quietly.

‘I couldn’t tell anyone,’ she mumbled.

‘You told Ivo though.’

‘I didn’t, he guessed.’

Merritt held her close and felt pain for the years he’d spent away from her when she needed him most. Why did Ivo realise so swiftly about Kitty’s reading problems and not him or Dad? Deep down he knew the answer was because he and his father were completely self-absorbed. Forgetting Kitty had just lost her mother and worrying about money and reputations instead. All those years she had suffered and she hadn’t said a thing. Merritt wondered if he could ever forgive himself.

‘I should have been there for you,’ he said, his voice cracking.

‘You had your own life, Merritt … and Eliza,’ she said, and Merritt started to laugh.

‘You never liked her did you?’ he asked his younger sister.

‘Never,’ she admitted, and they laughed and cried at the same time.

‘Is Willow here?’ she asked, listening for the children.

Merritt looked down and Kitty realised she had gone.

‘Oh Merritt, it’s all my fault,’ she cried, and he led her by the hand to the kitchen.

‘None of that now please. We had to sort things out once Kerr got here and things just went a bit silly, that’s all,’ he said, sounding calmer than he felt.

‘Do you think you will talk to her soon? Can you tell her I’m sorry?’ said Kitty. ‘I feel so terrible.’

Merritt put the kettle on and sat down opposite her.

‘Listen. I want you to know something; it’s really important,’ said Merritt, reaching across the table.

Kitty looked up at him mournfully. ‘What?’

‘When they found Lucian, they took him to the police station. They asked him to write his name down so they could try and find out where he came from. Do you know what he did?’ asked Merritt.

Kitty shook her head. ‘He can’t read or write. Poor thing, it must have been awful.’

‘That’s the thing, Kits. He did know. He wrote down Merritt, minus the extra r and t. Your teaching him helped, Kitty – it helped him. And when all the drama dies down then Willow will see what you taught him. He can learn; he just needs to find the right teacher.’

Kitty cried again, and Merritt watched her.

‘It’s a bit like you, Kits,’ he said.

‘What’s like me?’ she asked, accepting the box of tissues that Merritt handed her.

‘You just need the right teacher,’ he said, ‘to help you learn how to read.’

She nodded.

Merritt continued, buoyed by acceptance. ‘I know Ivo tried, and he did an OK job, it seems; but you need professional help from people who do this all the time.’

At the mention of Ivo’s name Kitty felt the tears come back.

‘What? What’s happened?’ asked Merritt, confused.

‘I can’t believe he told everyone,’ she said, her cheeks turning red with shame.

Merritt shrugged. ‘Willow was being awful, even you could see that. He tried to stand up for you.’

‘But I left and I didn’t check my messages. I assumed you would take care of the children when it was my job; she was right,’ said Kitty in a small voice.