The Perfection of Love (18 page)

He kissed the back of my neck and I couldn’t help but shudder.

“Dana, I missed you today.”  He kept kissing me and his hand began to stroke my stomach under my camisole.  My skin was crawling.

“Mitchell, I’m really tired. 
Jakey was really busy today.  Let’s just get some sleep tonight yeah?”  I tried to wrap the duvet around me tighter.  Mitchells hand had frozen in one spot and then he whipped it away from me as though my skin burned.

“You know Dana, I’m out all the time and women come on to me.  It would be easy for me to get what I need from somewhere else.  As a man I have needs Dana, just remember that.”  He turned his back to me and I kept still in the same position he had left me.

I could only pray that Mitchell finds so much comfort in the arms of another woman that he decides to leave Jakey and I and never come back.

****

Now Deacon had me wanting to be with him completely and I’d been too much of a chicken to admit my feelings and wants to him and myself.

Colin left me off towards a huddle of men and left Deacon behind with Miranda.  What if in my absolution to protect my heart I’d not given Deacon what he needed and pushed him towards someone else. Miranda didn’t hide her intentions towards a man.  Essentially all I was providing Deacon with was sex.  I hadn’t given him intimacy.  I hadn’t given my all to him.

I could barely hear what the group around me was saying.  I was too caught up in my own thoughts.  I nodded, agreed and laughed at the points I thought I needed to.  I kept looking over my shoulder to find Deacon and Miranda but at some point I lost them in the crowd.  When we were ushered into the main suite for dinner I caught site of them again but it had been arranged so that we were sitting at different tables.  Colin had the ingenious idea that we could coup more money for the university if we covered more ground.  Funnily enough Colin had still managed to ensure that Deacon and Miranda sat together.   When I looked over Miranda caught my eye and winked in my direction as she raised her glass to me.

“I know you and Deacon can sometimes clash so I did my best to make sure you didn’t have to spend the whole evening with him Dana.”  So this really was my fault.  Colin looked like a puppy waiting to be told he’d been a good boy.

“Thank you Colin.  That was considerate of you.”  I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice but I don’t think Colin would have notice anyway as he already had his back turned to me and was shaking hands with someone else.

During dinner I kept looking over my shoulder and each time it burned a little more.  Deacon never once looked over and he was laughing and talking with everyone on his table with Miranda all over him like herpes on a prostitute.  By the time the meal had finished and everyone was making their way back to the main hall, I had lost track of Deacon and the succubus also known as Miranda, once again.  Frustrated I decided to head to the bathroom to touch up my make-up.  Mara always told us that there was no need for people to see that you were crying on the inside.  That was the main purpose for the invention of make-up.  I’d bought my favourite brand of red color lipstick and some mascara just in case.  Once my lips were looking immaculate and my eyes a bit brighter I stepped out into the corridor.  My heart broke into tiny pieces of glass and then shattered some more at the sight of Miranda and Deacon in an embrace.  She had her arms wrapped around his neck and while he looked amused he certainly wasn’t doing anything to deter her.  I backed away unable to take my eyes away from the show in front of me.  I wasn’t looking behind me and bumped a small table that was hosting a vase with flowers.  The sound alerted them both to their audience and while Miranda looked merely amused, Deacon looked horrified.  I guess he thought he could have us both.  Miranda wouldn’t care if he was seeing someone else and I wouldn’t have been any the wiser.  Apart from the fact they were in a hotel surrounded by ball guests.

“Dana.”  Deacon called out and I didn’t hear the rest of what he said because I ran back into the ballroom.  I found Colin and made up some feeble excuse that Jakey was ill and I needed to leave straight away.  Colin would have been good about it regardless but by this point in the night most of the moneybags were already inebriated so they were no good for pumping for cash anyway.  I called Lana to come and pick me up and made my escape from the nightmare.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

When I woke up my head was banging.  I was lying underneath Lana
’s dining table in a dress I didn’t really remember putting on.  I managed to roll myself over and saw several bottles of wine loitering the floor.  What the hell happened last night?  Urgh.  I remembered the part where I saw Deacon and Miranda together and the rest of the night started to piece itself together.

I’d dodged Deacon until Lana picked me up and we drove back to her place.  After bawling my eyes out over how much of an idiot I’d been and wiping the snot off my face along with most of my makeup, Lana made the absurd suggestion that we got changed and went to a bar.  The whole time I’d been crying Lana had been plying me Cheeky Vimtos, her number one choice of cocktail that hadn’t changed since she was fifteen.  So her idea sounded absolutely perfect at the time.  I’d forgotten what it was like to party with Lana.  My body ached all over and something was itching the hell out of my left boob.  I reached in and down to adjust and pulled out a telephone number written on a scrap piece of paper.  What the fuck had we gotten up to?

I crept out the living room.  Lana very rarely heard a thing if she’d drunk herself into a paralytic state but god have mercy on your soul if you did wake her up.  Hungover Lana was like a banshee on steroids.  I didn’t have to go far to find her.  She’d passed out on her stairs with her dress and shoes still on.  I walked past to go upstairs to use her toilet and heard her groan.

“You’re a fucking bad influence on me.  You corrupted my innocence.  Never again.”  With that she rolled onto her back and went back to sleep.

Lana finally emerged when she smelled the coffee and breakfast being made in her kitchen.  We sat down in the living room to eat with her sprawled out on her sofa and me on the floor.  She delighted in filling me in on our antics the previous night.  After she’d got me into a mini strapless little black dress and matching heels we’d gone into town and hit the first bar we’d seen.  It wasn’t long before we were surrounded by blokes and were dancing with several of them.  Basically we moved from bar to bar, drinking and dancing until we couldn’t hold any more fluid.  It still didn’t explain the number I found in my bra or the others I found in my clutch purse, even Lana was stumped on how or when that happened.

“So what you gonna do about Deacon?”  Lana was talking with bacon hanging out her mouth, which was anything but attractive and it was hard to take her seriously.

“There’s nothing to do about Deacon.  I couldn’t give him what he wanted so he went looking for it elsewhere.  It’s an old story that’s been told before.  I won’t be the first this has happened to and I’m pretty sure that I won’t be the last either.”  I shrugged at her to try and hide how I was feeling inside which was utter turmoil.

“I’m still not sure as to what it was you saw exactly.  You said you saw Miranda with her arms around his neck but they weren’t kissing or anything.”

“The important thing is that he wasn’t removing her arms.  That’s the only part of that scene that I care about.  I wasn’t about to stick around and watch like it was some bloody peep show.”

“Have you checked your phone?”  I nodded.  It was one of the first things I’d done when I’d come back downstairs.

“He’s called and left messages but I don’t want to listen to them.  He’s a liar and a cheater and I don’t want to speak to him or hear anything he has to say.”

“That’s going to be pretty hard considering your both due at work tomorrow.”  Damn.  I’d forgotten that fact.  “Pass your phone. I don’t mind hearing his sultry dulcet tones.  I might edit his messages and turn them into a lullaby for single women.  I could make millions.”  I rolled my eyes at her and handed over my phone.  She started listening straight away.

“Awwwww Dana you have to listen.  He sounds so sad.”  I shook my head.  “Oh listen to this one.  I think he might be crying.  Bless his cotton socks.”  I shook my head again even though the pang in my heart wanted me to listen to his voice.  “I really don’t think it’s what you think Dana.  He loves you.  That’s obvious to anyone within a ten mile radius.

“Lana just leave it.”  I got up to clear my plate.  I didn’t feel hungry anymore.

We sat and watched Sunday TV for a few hours.  Joe was taking Jakey to school Monday morning so I didn’t have to rush home.  The loud banging on the door made us both jump.

“You expecting someone?”  Lana shook her head.  She slowly got up to go to the door.

“Is she here?”  Deacon.  I heard the door bang against the wall.

“Why hello to you too Deacon.  So nice to see you again.  Come in why don’t you.  Make yourself at home. No, no.  You’re not interrupting me or anything.  Me and my harem of men will make some space and get out of your way.”  Sarcasm laced every one of Lana’s words.

“Not now Lana.”  Deacon roared and Lana actually stopped in her tracks.  I’d peeped around the corner to see what was happening and when Deacon caught sight of me, he headed straight for me.  I couldn’t tell whether he was angry or happy to see me.  His face held a mass of emotions that were in conflict with each other.  I turned to run but I wasn’t fast enough.  Deacon caught me by the arm and scooped me off the floor.  I shrieked.

“Deacon put me down. Now.”  I was thumping his chest but it was having no effect.

He stopped to talk to Lana, “Lana, your sister is in no danger from me but we need to have a talk right now and we don’t need an audience.  If she still won’t talk to me after I’ve said my piece I will bring her back and not a moment before.”  He walked past her out the house towards his car that was parked somewhat haphazardly.

“How romantic!”  Lana fake swooned and went back inside the house.  Traitorous bitch!

Deacon placed me carefully but firmly into the passenger seat and then buckled me in.  I guess that was his way of telling me I wasn’t going anywhere.  He slammed the door shut so hard I thought the glass might break and I jumped.  Deacon looked down at me and his face softened but he walked quickly round to his side and got into the car.  He sped off to his flat and didn’t talk to me the whole time.  Not for a lack of me trying.

“Deacon take me home now.” Silence “Deacon I don’t want to talk to you, so can you take me home please?”  More silence.

“Deacon I’m not mad at you.  Let’s just be professional about this.”  That earned me a quick angry side glance but still more silence.  I gave up and sat back for the rest of the journey looking out of the window.  Two could play the silence game.  I grew up in a house full of females.  He stood no chance against my skills.

Deacon took my hand to lead me out the car.  I was about to tell him not to touch me but remembered that would break our silence match.  I pulled my hand out of
his to make the statement that I was walking of my own free will.  He turned back and looked down at our now separated hands.  I thought he was going to speak but instead he took my hand back, interlocked our fingers and carried on walking.  He didn’t let go the whole time until we got inside the flat.  Only then did he let go and that was to pull out a chair from the dining table and make me sit on it by pushing me down with both his hands on my shoulders.

“Right, are you ready to listen to me?”  I turned my face away from him and folded my arms.  Mature.  I know.

“Fine.  Well I’m going to talk anyway and you’re going to listen.  First of all you should have let me know that you were going home with Lana last night.  I was out of my mind worrying that you’d run off and got yourself hurt or worse.  I went to your grandparent’s house but they hadn’t seen you and it’s only by chance that Colin called me and I managed to get Lana’s address out him.  Dana what you saw last night isn’t what you think.  Miranda came on to me.  I didn’t come on to her and there was definitely nothing going on between us.  I know what you saw and how it must have looked.  I even know how lame what I’m saying sounds but it’s the truth.  I don’t know whether she was as drunk as she was making out or it was all planned but she had been trying to get her way with me all night.  I was trying to let her down gently but she’s quite aggressive in her approach.  It’s not like I could tell her that I’m with you and therefore never going to be interested in her.  You won’t let anyone know that we’re seeing each other so what am I supposed to say?”  I still wasn’t looking at him.  “Damn it Dana.”  He slammed his fist against the wall and I couldn’t stop the squeak that escaped me.  I had automatically ducked and put my head in my hands in a protective position.  I knew that Deacon would never hurt me but old habits die hard.  Deacon’s fingers pulled my arm away and lifted my chin so that I had no choice but to look at him.  The moment my eyes met his the tears began to fall.  Deacon wiped the first drops away and as more followed he kissed each one.  When I began to sob he held me close and stroked my hair.  The soothing motion made the tears begin to subside but I couldn’t bear to look at him.  I’d cried because of him and Miranda, I’d cried because I’d been so weak with Mitchell and I still wasn’t over it and I cried because all of it put together was just too much for me and it hurt so bad.  “Dana, what did he do to you?  You jumped.  I frightened you.  Dana I would never put my hands on you.  Ever.  I’d sooner hurt myself.  Please talk to me.”  The tears came back with a vengeance.  “Dana, I really want you to hear what I’m about to say to you.  Can you at least shake your head so I know you’re listening?”  I shook my head against his chest.  “Dana, this isn’t the way I wanted to tell you but I want you to know something.”  Oh God what was he about to say.  He’s married?  With three kids?  He’s now gay?  “Dana, I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this but after last night I need to tell you that I love you.”  I looked up at him now.  “I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in my life.  I can’t bear to be apart from you.  When I leave you in the mornings all I want is to be right back by your side in the next minute.  When I think that you might not feel the same I can’t breathe because I don’t know what I would do if you truly didn’t want me.  When this project that we’re working on is finished I don’t want to go back to LA.  I want to stay here with you or if you want we could move with Jakey.  I’d do whatever you wanted to do just so you’re always by my side.”