The Persistence of Memories - A Novel of the Mendaihu Universe (47 page)

She started to say something, then stopped.
This was the otherwhere they were inhabiting, not quite Gharra, not
quite Trisanda. Her own spiritual reality separate from everything
else in the universe. To show one's True Self, especially here and
now, was to show complete trust and faith in the other. Denni was
in her true form as Denysia Shalei, to show she trusted Amna
completely. Amna was offering the same.

“Let me see you as you are,
madin
,”
Denni said.

“As you wish,
fadin,
” she answered
with a bright smile. She willfully placed her chillingly cold hand
in Denni’s, and all was Light...

...and then nothing.

Complete silence, utter blackness.

No, that's not right.
Denni's eyes
adjusted and she found herself once again among the stars. She
shivered as memories of her self-imposed isolation came rushing
back. She did not want to be here, up in this void, far from any
other living being aside from Amna.

Aside from
Annedin
.

She had a hard time wrapping her head around
that. Amna was Annedin? Annedin was her spiritual offspring? She,
Denysia Shalei
, was an ancient soul, much older than anyone
had realized. A strong soul, a spirit maturing over millennia and
through universes. Yes, she knew this, had embraced it the moment
she understood she was the One of All Sacred. Again, with the
truthsensing of the One within her, she knew this to be right.
Somewhere along the line, she had met another soul, an
Oktanis
soul from Trisanda, and had —

She stopped that line of thought cold. She
knew who this Oktanis was then, and who he was now. This was a man
she should be fearing, should be hating with the very core of her
spirit, and yet…

You gave love to D'kami Oktanis
,
Amna/Annedin said, her calming, disembodied voice carrying through
the void. Denni spun around in the weightlessness, immediately
trying to pinpoint her location. She could barely see her own hands
in front of her face. Any dim shadows were swallowed up by the
darkness of space. She threw out a thin tendril, a gossamer thread
of her soul, gently spiraling it further out in increments, hoping
to touch Amna somehow. She had to find her, and fast.

You gave your love to D'kami Oktanis,
Amna said again.
He is my father. Like you, he does not judge.
He only reacts. He observes that which is all around him,
protecting those who would come to harm. You are opposites, and yet
you complemented each other so perfectly in every way, when you
brought my soul to life. The two of you transcended your
differences and became cho-shadhisi.

“He is Shenaihu?” Denni asked, and opened her
eyes again. They landed on the spiraling shape of a nearby galaxy,
slightly cockeyed but quite close to a horizontal plane. She chose
it as a fixed point in space and adjusted her bearings until she
felt calm enough. Up was up, down was down, and she was safe. She
breathed twice and released the tension in her limbs.

Only in the purest form of the name,
Amna said within.
D'kami transcends mere labels, fadin. I can
say he was an extremely intelligent man. He was all things: a
warrior, a sentinel, a watcher. He was a Mannaki poet of some
renown. He was also a best friend, a distant admirer, a childhood
friend, and many other incarnations. And he watches over you every
day as any cho-shadhisi would, over multiple lives and
universes.

Denni bit her lip, shivering.
D'kami...watches over me?
She wouldn't dare to ask from
where, or who he might be in this reality. She wasn't even sure if
she wanted to know...there was no way she could be right in her
instincts, but if D’kami was the man she feared…!

Mother,
Annedin said, her voice low
and rumbling again.
I can see you are not yet ready to know who
he is yet.

“N-nyhnd’aladh,” she said quietly. “I
just...”

I understand,
Annedin said, calm and
reassuring.
In time, you will know him again, know his true
spirit, and all will be peaceful. I promise.

“Promise?” she repeated, more as an echo than
a question.

Yes, I promise,
Annedin repeated.
But surely you are ready to know who I am now? Surely you've
figured it out?

Denni closed her eyes and let out a long
breath. Yes, she'd figured it out back in that field, when they had
been returning from the edge of the woods. Something about that
forest at the end of her field. During all her visits to her sehna
lumia, she had not set foot in those woods, had no real reason to
enter it, and after that vision, had no desire to cut through it.
Something about the proximity of those trees and that heard but
unseen stream...they had somehow triggered an abundance of truths
within her, whether or not she was ready for them. She was still
trying to grasp the fact that her best friend was actually her
spiritual child. And Amna...poor Amna, she must be so confused and
afraid. But the Ehramanis blood flowed strong within her, and she
refused to give up so easily. Amna would take charge of the
situation and not give up until she was completely in control.

Yet...she was talking as Annedin, as if she
had known for some time.

Annedin waited patiently until Denni
understood.

That walk they had taken the other morning.
Amna had faltered, yet had refused to say anything about it
afterwards. She must have come to her own realization just then, or
sometime soon after. Which brought up another question: had Ampryss
and edha Usara known about this, or had they not noticed? Ampryss
could be as cryptic and enigmatic as any spirit, and had she known,
she didn't say anything. Annedin was trying to soften the blow
here. She was afraid her own mother would be...scared? Shocked?
Dismayed? Disgusted? Of what?

Her True Self,
she thought.

She is Shenaihu nuhm'ndah.

And yet...nothing changed. Annedin was still
her daughter in spirit, and she felt that unbreakable bond. And
Amna was still her best friend, and nor was that bond broken. She
knew her in the Spirit of Love, as a
sehnadha
. She was too
close, spiritually and lovingly, to cast her aside, even if she was
the supposed enemy. Which she wasn't. The Shenaihu nuhm'ndah were
the same as the Mendaihu Gharra, spiritual opposites. They
complemented each other to eternity and she, as the One of All
Sacred, held it as her duty to make sure it stayed that way.

“Annedin,” she called out.

I'm here,
she answered.

“Please, come to me. Show yourself. You are
my daughter, and I wish to see you as you truly are.”

She heard what sounded like a short gasp or a
whimper, then a long silence. She waited patiently, expecting a
rush of wind or a touch of scale or...or
something
. Still
she stayed. She was determined to see her daughter.

“Annedin?” she called out.

There was no answer, at least not one she saw
or heard. What she
felt
, however, was a slow rise in
temperature, something unexpected in this eternal dark night.
Warmth surrounded her, pulling her in ever tighter, faster...until
she realized she had been moving for some time. The stars and
galaxies surrounding her had begun to shift, growing in size,
blurring, streaking past her. She was now building up speed, her
very essence beginning to burn against the dark matter, the null
between Light. It was a painless stripping of her essence, like the
stripping away of dead skin, and she knew what would happen soon.
She would enter that third stage, that reality where True Selves
exist.

Annedin was guiding, pulling her there.
Completing the cycle.

And soon enough, she reached the destination.
The last of her old essence stripped away, she finally felt her
soul completely free of all obstacles. All was peace. The starfield
faded from view and she felt a rush of cool air. She landed softly
on a dark marble floor, surprisingly warm to the touch in this
otherwise completely darkened room. The only illumination came from
above by whatever light the Goddess had offered them, revealing the
bare floor for about thirty feet, the rest fading into shadow.
Curiously, she stole a look at her clothing, and saw the white toga
she'd worn before, with Kindeiya.

Open your wings, dear Mother,
Annedin
said.
Let me in and I shall respond in kind.

“Come to me, Annedin,” she called out. She
took a deep breath, two of them, closed her eyes, and thought of
Annedin, of Amna.

She felt the untensing of back muscles and
the release of once-captive spirit energy. An almost silent rush of
wings whispered through the air, from behind. A third breath and
she stretched those wings, spanning them out to their full length.
Release…complete trust and faith in everything surrounding her. She
was in her Mendaihu Gharra form, her True Self. She shivered,
shedding the toga from her body, replacing it with a long, flowing
white robe. She was here, she was Denysia Shalei, and she was the
One of All Sacred.

“Madin,” she whispered.

A quiet rumble, a long, jagged breath. A
rippling of stronger wings, of leathery wings, flapping once,
twice. A
tik-tik
of talons landing on the floor. A hiss of a
sigh through nostrils. A push of hot breath wafting past her face,
smelling of cinnamon and patchouli. An almost silent swish of a
tail riding low in the air, very close to the ground but never
touching.

“I am here,” Annedin said, her voice so very
low...but kind. “Open your eyes, mother.”

Denysia opened them.

Annedin Shalei si Oktanis stood ten feet tall
and nearly twenty-five feet long from muzzle to tail, a sleek young
kiralla of turquoise and sapphire scale, at rest on all fours. Her
tail waved tentatively as a curious feline's, held low but never
underneath, nor out and above. She held her head low enough to come
nearly face to face with Denysia, impossibly dark eyes staring
intently at her, still alive with the intention of fire. She held
her muzzle pointed down and breathed slowly. Every few seconds one
of her long ears would twitch in a slightly separate direction. She
waited.

Denysia's jaw dropped slightly. A tear
escaped her left eye.

“Annedin...” she said, then, within:
Annedin...I cannot believe what an exquisite creature you've
become...! Goddess...you're beautiful!

Annedin's snout ducked lower, as if to hide a
blush, and she snorted.

“Can...can we touch?” Denysia said. “I
mean...can we touch without injuring each other now?”

“I don't see why not,” Annedin said, and
began to reach out a forearm. “We're on equal ground now. Here, let
me test it.” Razor sharp talons pointed down and slightly away, her
claw only opening when it was clear she meant it as a peaceful
gesture. She let it drop slowly and lightly upon Denysia's right
shoulder. For a second she felt a jolt of ice, vanishing a second
later as Annedin's hand remained, moving slightly back and forth.
When it seemed nothing would injure them, she removed her hand and
retreated back to her original position.

“It seems we can touch,” Annedin said, and
hummed contentedly.

Denysia moved forward until she was nearly
muzzle-to-face with her. She reached out her own hand this time,
reaching behind Annedin’s head and placing it far on the back of
her elongated neck. The ice was gone, and she sighed with a
satisfied grin. She let her forehead land on Annedin's as she began
to stroke the back of her neck. Annedin hummed again, this time
deeper and slower.

“You...surprised me,” Annedin said. “I
thought for sure you would be frightened.”

Denysia shook her head. “Never. Not by my
daughter.”

“Sa’im shadha, fadin,” she said. “This is why
I am so loyal to you.”

“Sa’im shadha, madin,” Denysia answered with
a smile. “That's why I would never turn away.” She tucked herself
underneath Annedin's muzzle and embraced her bulky shoulders.
Annedin lifted a forearm, curled it around and pulled her mother
close.

“You have no idea how long I've been looking
for you,” Annedin said.

Denysia laughed quietly, letting the tears
come. “I have no idea about a lot of things lately. I've known you
as Amna for so long...and now you're Annedin, my beautiful
daughter...” She stepped back and looked this wondrous creature in
the eyes again. “But this is not the form that I'm used to.”

Annedin nodded, grunted, and clicked her
sharp fangs together in what must have been a laugh. “Father is
kiralla, as am I. As are you, if you let yourself reach that far.
They are the highest spiritual form on Trisanda. Stronger than
Mendaihu or Shenaihu. Perhaps stronger than the One of All Sacred
and the Dahné Shenaihu.”

Denysia believed her without question.
Annedin spoke the truth as only she could, because she was an
impartial kiralla. D'kami Oktanis was kiralla, and she had once
loved him. Her ancestral memories were still hazy, and she could
just as easily misconstrue their meanings as she could take them at
face value. She felt that connection to D’kami deep within her
heart, perhaps just as Karinna felt the connection between herself
and Anando Shalei, and yet, just like her sister, her memories of
past lives were clouded. Even so, her spirit sang, and that was
enough.

She chose not to think about who D’kami may
be in this iteration. Now was not the time to think about such
things.

“I understand your confusion,” Annedin said.
“Awakening as the One of All Sacred as you did...and not ascending.
Had you ascended, you would have completely remembered all of your
histories, as the one and as Denysia Shalei.”

Denysia nodded slowly. “It’s as if I’ve lost
them.”

“Not lost,” she said and snorted in
frustration. It was not directed at her, but at the situation. “You
just have harder access to them,” Annedin continued. “Someone or
something is blocking that access.”