The Persistence of Memories - A Novel of the Mendaihu Universe (59 page)

“Ah, Goddess…” Sheila hissed, and closed her
eyes tight.
You know in your spirit that’s not true at all,
she said from within.
Please...it will only lead to
death.

She felt Caren's hand on her shoulder. The
wave of fear she was so boldly holding back was spilling over and
pushing at her, threatening to tear her down and overwhelm her. She
felt Caren's hand slowly stroking her shoulder, up and down, calm
and reassuring.

Not on my watch, sehnadha.
Caren said.
Not if I can help it.

“Damn you,” Sheila mumbled, her throat
tightening. “Damn you! I can't let you do this!”

She felt Caren's arms reach around her, and
in an instant she felt the warm rays of soulhealing rippling over
her. She wanted to, tried to push away, but felt herself hopelessly
stuck there. She let the tears come.

It's too late to turn back,
Caren
said.
For all of us. Have faith in me, kid, and nothing will
happen to any of us.

“I...”

“Shhh....” Caren whispered. “Strength, kid.
Remember that. Strength and faith.”

Sheila shuddered within her arms and, for a
brief moment, felt that Caren was speaking the truth. “I wish I had
your faith,” she said. “I really do.”

You will,
Caren said.
I promise
you.

She let out a small, bitter laugh. “Don't
make promises that are too hard to keep,” she said. “But I'll take
you up on that. Thank you.”

“Thank
you
, sehnadha.” Caren was
blushing slightly.

Sheila moved away and pushed errant strands
of hair behind her ears. “Do me a favor and keep me connected, you
hear? When we didn't hear from you at ARU this morning, we assumed
the worst. And call Farraway before he loses his shit any further,
okay?”

“Of course,” Caren smiled. “If anything
happens, you two will be the first to know.”

“Much appreciated. I have to go now and calm
down my partner. Now that I know you and Den are okay, all we have
to do is find Poe.”

“He's...uh...” Caren faltered. “I think he's
being trained right now.”

“Mendaihu training? Wouldn't Farraway have
known?”

She shook her head. “This is...uh, how do I
say this. Different than what the other agents are getting. He and
I are getting special training from an Elder.”

Sheila frowned. “I'll take your word. But if
you hear from him, have him keep in touch too, okay? We can't
afford to splinter off. Not now.”

“Agreed,” she said. “Go, talk to Nick. I'm
sure he'll understand eventually.”

“It’s worth a try,” she sighed. She turned to
go, stopped, and faced Caren again. “For luck,” she said, and
pulled her into a tight embrace. Caren understood and reciprocated,
her own spirit energy spilling out and into her. She held Caren’s
face in her hands and kissed her forehead. “That's for Denni.” She
kissed her once more, a tender kiss on the lips. “And that’s for
you. Peace, Love and Light to you, my shadhisi.”

“Yes. Peace, Love and Light to you, Sheila,”
Caren said quietly, and let go again. “Let me know what happens on
your end too, okay?”

“Sure.” She waved and turned away, heading
towards the dock door they'd entered earlier. She was tempted to
turn around one more time, just as a parting glance, but knew Caren
was already heading back towards her perch in the racking.

At the door she saw Nick pacing outside,
furiously puffing away at a cigarette. Explaining all of this was
going to be one hell of a daunting task. All she could do was
summon up courage, take a deep breath, and walk through the door.
And despite her earlier doubts, she had faith that she could do
it.

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Clarity

Natianos Lehanna paced his office, his spirit
wound so tightly that no one, not even Janoss, could sense his
displeasure. Saisshalé was already slipping out of his hands, so
soon after he’d been summoned! He'd even gone so far as to meet
that girl, the One of All Sacred, for all the good it would have
done. Why were they delaying the inevitable? Both sides would be
right in some ways, wrong in others. It was a pointless debate
neither would win. At this rate, this Season of Embodiment would
end up like all the others, perhaps worse.

The One of All Sacred was becoming more
knowledgeable about her past, something he’d tried to avoid with
the summoning of Saisshalé, but she was proving to be more
resourceful than he’d expected. Saisshalé was doing his best to
counter all of her moves, but he too was developing a conscience
and refusing to act as the vengeance deity he once was. Nothing was
going according to plan anymore, and he was running out of options.
He would have to summon him back soon, before the man started
believing his own words and promises. Before he lost the deity to
its madness.

Natianos was safe, but he was caught within
this Tower. Perhaps Councillor James' tired and overused allegory
of a clear playing field wasn't too far off. At one end were the
Mendaihu and the One of All Sacred, humble and innocent, waiting
for the aggressors to attack first. On the other end Natianos
himself stood as leader of the Shenaihu nuhm'ndah, with Saisshalé
by his side, playing the revolutionaries who fought for freedom and
equality at whatever cost.

Both sides were liars. But they were also
equal in strength, numbers, cunning, and survival. Both were
spiritual aspects of Trisanda, and both were fiercely protective of
their own kind. Gharra had learned the arts of war and conflict
remarkably well. But they were still ignorant.

“They still don't understand,” Natianos
grumbled. “After two hundred years, they still are not fully
aware.”

Well, I can't blame them
, said a voice
from within, behind him.

Natianos whirled around. He could sense the
presence before him without a doubt. A presence that was not there
mere seconds ago. It was a man he'd met twenty-five years earlier,
in the west courtyard of this Tower.

Reverend Miriam,
he said within,
reaching out with a soft tendril of energy to find him. He was most
definitely here, he just had to know where. He moved to his desk
and leaned up against the front of it.
You're a highly sought
after person, you know. Please, come forward and show yourself. You
are always safe and welcome here.

He heard Reverend Edward Miriam chuckle.
After all these years, Natianos, and you still treat me like a
seminarian just out of divinity school.

“Perhaps,” he said aloud. “Come, enter from
wherever you are and relax, Dahné.”

A quick
snap
of air echoed in his
ears. A tall man stepped out of Light and into the room. He wore
the black form-fitting body suit and brown leather duster uniform
of a Trisandi Elder. For a man of his advanced age, he was in
surprisingly agile. He moved quickly across the room and stood
before him within the span of a second.

“Dehndarra Né hra nyhndah,” he said, bowing
slightly. “It's been a long time, Natianos.”

“Yes, it has,” Natianos said, and took the
man's hand. He knelt down to one knee, resting his forehead on the
back of the hand, and whispered a silent prayer:
Peace, Love and
Light, from the Goddess and through the spirit of Gharra.
He
remained kneeling, waiting for a response.

Reverend Miriam let out a
hmmph
and
looked down upon him, first with impatience then with reluctant
compassion. He laid a hand on Natianos' head, and with another
not-so-subtle sigh, readied himself to hear Natianos' confessions.
His intentions were honest, however. He
did
want to confess
his sins to a priest of the Goddess. And wanted this particular
priest to hear them.

Miriam made a gesture with his left hand,
touching his torso, stomach, heart, sternum, and upwards until he
made a final movement with a fist closing then opening above his
head, symbolically touching all the chakra centers of the human
spirit. He then lowered his hand, holding it above Natianos'
lowered head.

“Natianos Lehanna,” he said. “You have chosen
to connect with your pure spirit, the glint of brilliant glass that
is the Goddess, and you have found fault within yourself. May the
Great Goddess in Her infinite wisdom listen to your voice and
understand your faults; may She grant you forgiveness and may she
show you the path to the True Light, and True Knowledge, the sehna
lumia of your own spirit. What is it, Natianos, that you would like
to confess?”

Natianos exhaled, and kept his head lowered.
“I have interfered with a spiritual and holy event, my Dahné. I
confess I am the one who engineered the failure of the Ascension of
the One of All Sacred.”

Reverend Miriam shifted in his place, but did
not seem to falter. “I see,” he said. “And may I ask what the
motive for such an act might be?”

“My intentions from the beginning have been
to protect the Trisandi spirit, my Dahné. If the One had ascended,
then the Shenaihu would no longer be pure Shenaihuza spirit, and
the Mendaihu would no longer be Mendaihuza. We as a collective
would have become pure cho-nyhndah, combined twin-spirits. I was
only thinking of the survival of the two Trisandi soul elements as
separate and equal, instead of merged.”

“I understand,” the priest said. “Doing this
in the name of the Goddess does carry a heavy weight, Natianos. I
cannot confirm whether the Goddess had directed you into action, so
I cannot judge you for any false prophecy.”

“She did not,” Natianos said. “It is my own
judgment.”

“And yet, we cannot know if this judgment was
truly your own, or if the Goddess had inspired you. This is one of
the great mysteries of the soul, my eicho.” The Reverend paused,
exhaling deeply. “This is not something I can forgive, Natianos, as
I cannot say whether or not you have sinned. However, there is one
thing you
must
do before this is over. Consider this one
thing your act of penance. If not for the Goddess' sake, then for
yourself and for the rest of us.”

“Anything, Dahné,” he said.

“You must meet with the Mendaihu leader, and
explain your actions. If they understand that your motives were
pure, if they understand that you were trying to preserve the
sanctity of our spiritual being, then you shall be forgiven...but
not until then.”

Natianos finally lifted up his head and faced
the priest. Reverend Miriam was looking down at him, hand still on
his head, and he was smiling. “Are there any other transgressions
you would like to confess, my eicho?”

Were there? He'd done so many things in the
past month and a half, things that would be questionable to the
public eye, things that
had
to happen to ensure the survival
of the Shenaihu. He did not question the reasoning behind them, but
he frequently questioned their morality. He was bound to them,
responsible for them, regardless of his status or beliefs.

He thought of his youngest daughter,
Saone.

She had been a thorn in his side long before
the Ascension of the One. She was the one who had not followed the
true path of the Shenaihu, much to his dismay. It had never
occurred to her that following this path took discipline and faith
and unwavering dedication. Even from an early age she would not
take her spiritual studies seriously. Once she'd started hanging
around with that Piramados girl, she was lost to him. He humored
her by acknowledging her fumbling actions as a nuhm'ndah only in
name.

As much as it bothered him to admit it, he
could no longer accept her as his daughter. She had failed him, and
failed miserably. He did not need to apologize for that.

“No, my Dahné,” he said reluctantly. “None
that bear equal importance.”

“All transgressions against the Goddess are
equal,” he reminded.

“I understand,” Natianos said. “These actions
are against my own being. Things I must face myself.”

Reverend Miriam nodded. “Let it be heard,
then,” he said, and motioned for Natianos to lower his head again
so he could complete the ritual. “Natianos Lehanna, you have spoken
truly from within your heart and mind. You have revealed your sins
against the Goddess, and She in her infinite wisdom and compassion
has embraced you. Your spirit is free, Natianos; go in Peace, Love,
and Light.”

The reverend took his hand off Natianos' head
and retreated to the couch. Natianos remained kneeling as he
whispered another prayer, the same one he'd started with. He
repeated the chakra gesture, the ritual now complete, and stood
once more.

The priest watched him, a smirk playing
across his face. “Feel better now?”

Natianos dismissed the comment and joined him
on the couch. “There's just one problem with the penance,
Reverend,” he said. “I do not know who the leader of the Mendaihu
is. Or if they have one at all.”

“Not the One of All Sacred, then?” he said,
cocking his head at him. Clearly the priest was having fun taunting
him. “Just as Saisshalé is not the leader of the Shenaihu.”

“I wouldn't have my title if he were,”
Natianos said with barely concealed annoyance. “We're not sure who
the leader is. Most believe it is Nehalé Usarai, others are saying
the One's sister, Karinna Shalei, is the undisputed leader. Neither
are singing to my spirit, edha.”

“Interesting,” the reverend said. “This
uprising is nothing like the others. There are no boundaries this
time. No clear leaders. A muted response among the faithful. Might
it be that Gharra has grown weary of this conflict? Has Gharné
evolution diverted so far from the Trisandi spirit?”

Natianos grinned at him. “I wouldn't go that
far. I'll agree this one's different. Some rules will have to be
rewritten.”

“Nothing needs to be changed,” he said. “Just
the point of view.”