The Playmaker (Fire on Ice) (16 page)

“How’s your boyfriend handling it? Kyle says he’s a hockey player and really tough.”

“He’s having as hard a time as I am. Maybe even harder. He’s in Seattle and he wants to be here for me. He feels helpless. I feel powerless. Not the best combination.”

“Give it time.”

I nodded. “Time is about all I have right now anyway. Lots of time.”

“Promise me you’ll talk to Kyle.” She looked concerned. I could tell she already cared a lot about him.

“I will.”

“How about now?”

I looked around and saw Kyle heading toward us.

“He takes me for a smoothie after class,” Annie whispered. “It’s kind of our thing now.”

I had to smile. That used to be something we always did together. But I was happy Kyle finally found someone who seemed to feel the same way about him as he felt about her.

Kyle froze when he saw me. “Taylor.”

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” There was surprise in his voice. Then he looked back and forth between me and Annie. “Are you taking a self-defense class?”

I nodded.

He started blinking rapidly. He usually did that when he was anxious or nervous. “I was worried about you. I tried everything to find out what happened. I even followed your sister to the theater.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just—it’s complicated.”

He looked at Annie again and then he looked at me. I could see his expression change as he started to put things together.
“Blake?” he blurted. “Did Blake…?” He trailed off like he couldn’t even get the rest of the words out. He put his hand to his forehead. “Oh, God.”

Kyle turned away. He was clearly upset, just like I knew he would be. I wasn’t sure I was prepared for this. After a moment, Kyle turned back around and I could see his eyes were wet. “Was it the day I was supposed to walk you home? When it was really cold and snowed? The day I went to meet Annie at the library?”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. He already knew what happened and why I didn’t call him. He didn’t know the details but he knew the truth.

Kyle sniffled and Annie quickly grabbed a few tissues from the box on the counter and handed them to him. He blew his nose and stuck the tissues in his pocket. “I don’t know what to say. You’ll probably never forgive me.”

Tears were now streaming down his face. When I glanced over at Annie, she was crying, too. Great. I managed to upset everyone in the room.

I put my hand on Kyle’s arm. “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing to forgive you for.”

He shook his head. “I should have never left you alone.”

“But I wanted you to see Annie. I told you to go.”

“Tell me what happened,” Kyle said. “I need to know.”

Annie cleared her throat. “Maybe we should talk about this somewhere a little quieter. Maybe we can get smoothies and go sit in the park or something?”

I nodded and Kyle agreed, too.

***

We each took a sip of our peach smoothies. It was quiet. It was early afternoon and the sun was out, it wasn’t cold but it wasn’t warm yet either. You’d be safe to call it brisk. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and let the sunlight warm my face. I had forgotten how much I missed being outside in the sun.

In another few hours, the kids would all be out of school for the day and the park would get crowded for a few hours while kids played soccer and softball. We were in a more secluded area, on a bench near a small pond. The ducks were still gone for the winter. It was pleasant and peaceful. I knew it wouldn’t last, though. As soon as I started talking about what happened, my mind would be chaotic and crowded again
. My emotions would run the gambit between depression, anxiety and everything in between.

“I was raped last year,” Annie said. “By a guy I had just star
ted dating.”

I let out a small sigh of relief that she was starting with her story.

“Kyle already knows the story,” she continued. “But I’d like for you to hear it. It might help.”

I nodded. “I do want to hear it. Thanks.”

“I met Tommy at the library. I was studying and he asked me if he could borrow a pencil. We started a conversation and he invited me to get a cup of coffee. He’s a big guy, about six foot two, maybe two twenty. But he seemed nice and polite. We were both full-time students. He told me he wanted to study law enforcement. Kind of ironic when I think about it now. After we met for coffee, he asked me to dinner. We decided to go that Friday night. I told him I’d meet him at the restaurant but he insisted on picking me up. I have to admit it made me a little uncomfortable because I didn’t know him that well but I let my guard down because he was a student and he seemed nice. He drove a pick-up truck, a big one, a Dodge Ram. It was a little overwhelming. He took me to the Outback. The dinner was nice and the conversation was interesting but I have to admit, there really wasn’t a spark there.”

I noticed she glanced at Kyle and they exchanged a look that said there was definitely sparks between the two of them.

She continued. “He drove me back to my apartment and parked out front. I got a little nervous when he turned off the engine. I wasn’t interested in kissing him. I just didn’t feel that kind of connection with him. When he leaned over to kiss me, I kind of leaned away and it made him angry. He started saying stuff like I owed him something because he took me out.

I got really scared and I told him I thought I should go, it was getting late. He grabbed me and said I wasn’t going anywhere. He still wanted to have some fun.

I tried to defuse the situation. I told him that we could go out again. He said that wasn’t good enough. I needed to do something for him then. I panicked. I tried to get out of his truck but he grabbed me and pushed me down. I struggled but he was so much bigger than me, it was useless. He forced himself on me. All I kept thinking was that it would be over soon. I just waited for him to finish.

Once he was done, he actually kissed me on the cheek, and told me how good it was. It made my skin crawl. I just wanted to get out of there. He finally let me out of his truck and I barely got the door closed before he peeled away.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran into my apartment and nearly fell a few times as I tried to get up the steps. Once I was finally inside, I just fell to the ground and cried for what seemed like hours. I wasn’t sure what to do. I never knew anyone who was raped, or at least no one ever talked to me about it.

I made the mistake of taking a long shower and I threw all of my clothes right into the garbage. I didn’t want to ever see them again. I didn’t know at the time that I destroyed all of the physical evidence of the crime. I was just responding emotionally to what had happened. I felt dirty and I wanted to be clean again. I didn’t realize that just taking a shower, or even a hundreds showers, wasn’t going to make me feel clean.

I was embarrassed. I was angry at myself for putting myself in the situation in the first place. I just wanted to try and put it behind me and forget it. But I couldn’t forget. I kept having nightmares and flashbacks. My schoolwork started to suffer. I was a nervous wreck. I was afraid that I’d run into him on campus.

I finally decided to seek counseling. My counselor suggested I
think about making a police report. She was the one, who explained that I had accidently destroyed all of the evidence. But I guess it’s not unusual or uncommon. It’s not like you’re thinking rationally after something like that happens.

I made a police report and I guess they questioned him. He admitted that we had sex but he said it was completely consens
ual. He actually told the police that I came on to him and he just went along with it because I really seemed into him.

Since there was no physical evidence and it was my word against his, I decided not to pursue pressing charges against him.
I didn’t want to go to court, especially when the chances of a conviction were so slim. I just wanted to put it behind me.”

Kyle took Annie’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze. She glanced at him and smiled. As much as Annie had gone through, it made my heart warm to see how much Kyle and Annie already cared about each other. But it also made me
miss Kian even more.

“In my case, they were able to collect evidence. He beat me so badly, I had to be hospitalized. He’s been questioned but he hasn’t been arrested. He has an alibi. He got five friends to say that he was with them all night.”

Both Kyle and Annie were shaking their heads. “You know how few rape cases ever go to court and of those, how many actually result in a conviction?” Annie asked. “It’s alarming. In the United States, someone is sexually assaulted every two minutes yet the majority of the crimes go unreported. Even when the crime is reported, it’s unlikely to lead to an arrest or prosecution. Only three out of every one hundred rapists will ever serve time.”

I wondered what that meant for my case.

“Didn’t you tell me that he attacked a girl at a party a few months ago?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah, that’s what my sister said. But she didn’t press char
ges. I guess she got paid off. Just like his friends who lied for him.”

“Do you think you could get her to change her mind?” Annie asked. “Maybe if you tell her what happened to you, she’d be willing to press charges against him?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I don’t know her. I don’t know if she’d even be willing to talk to me.”

“
It’s worth a shot,” Kyle said. “That jerk deserves to be in prison. Not out on the street where he can hurt people again.”

I knew Kyle was right. I knew I had to at least try. I couldn’t even stomach the thought of him doing to another girl what he had done to me.

***

I was surprised to see Zelda studying when I got back to her apartment. I was having difficulty calling it our apartment. It just didn’t feel like my space. I felt like I was a visitor in my sister’s space. Not that she minded me being there. I think she kind of liked it. We actually got to talk, and even laugh sometimes, mostly at her expense. But she wasn’t around that much. She liked to spend a lot of time with her male friends and it usually
included
sleeping over at their places.

“Do you have an exam or something?” I asked as I plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Moliere,” she moaned. “I already failed the class once before. I can’t fail it again or Mom and Dad will completely freak.”

“Sorry I can’t help. I’m not really into French comedy.”

She frowned. “Comedy?”

Now I frowned. “Yeah, comedy.”

“You mean these plays are supposed to be funny?” She seemed genuinely confused.

“I’m no theater expert but I think he wrote mostly com
edies.”

“Wow. That really puts things in a completely different light.” She took the notes she had been looking at and tore them in half. Then she tore them in half again. “Thanks.”

“You don’t have to worry about Kyle following you anymore. I talked to him.”

She looked up from The Works of Moliere. “I thought you were starting that self-defense class.”

“Kyle’s girlfriend, Annie, is one of the instructors of the class. He came by after class and we all talked. She was raped last year.”

My sister looked surprised. “Kyle has a girlfriend?”

“I thought I told you that.”

She shrugged. “Maybe. Is she cute?”

“She’s attractive. She seems really into him.”

“I’m glad he found someone who isn’t you.”

“I didn’t know he was in love with me. He was my best friend.”

My sister closed her book. “I’m not sure how you could not know. I think it was pretty obvious. But it’s water in the tunnel now anyway. You have Kian. He has Annie. You’re all set.”

“If only things were that easy.”

“Nothing in life is easy. I want things to be easy. I really do. But they always have a way of getting complicated.”

“It’s water under the bridge, by the way.”

My sister frowned.

“Do you remember when you told me about that girl who Blake attacked at the party?” I asked changing the subject.

My sister nodded. “I think her name is Wendi. I don’t really know her. Why?”

“Annie suggested I try to contact her and see if she’ll make a statement against Blake. Maybe it will help my case.”

“The word is that she got paid off. I don’t think she’ll say a
nything. But you could try. Let’s talk to Robyn. He knows everyone in the theater department. He can probably tell you how to find her. I don’t feel like studying anymore anyway.”

“I thought you were worried about failing.”

“Moliere gives me a headache. Anyway, now that I know they’re comedies, I think I can make enough shit up to pass this time.”

***

“She’s Stinky’s cousin,” Robyn said. “I think she lives in Tucson. She was only visiting for the weekend.”

Robyn was wearing a denim shirt with blue sequins stitched down the front, worn out blue jeans and cowboy boots. He looked like some psychedelic cowboy. Like my sister, Robyn always wore crazy outfits that you
weren’t sure whether they were costumes or just odd clothing choices.