The Pledge (25 page)

Nope. Not just me noticing.

Alexis grabbed my forearm and squeezed.

Alec flipped the brunette to the side in a cartwheel move, and they continued to maneuver from pose to pose. Their movements were completely in sync, as if they shared a body. My stomach felt like it was filled with lead, and my hands were clammy with sweat.
Gymnastics my ass.
They were all over each other. No way in hell they were only friends. One couldn’t touch and move like that without full knowledge of the other person’s body.

Julie squirmed in her chair and then leaned in close to me. I looked over, and she wasn’t watching the show anymore. She was watching me.

I wanted to run down there and rip the skinny, Acro-bitch’s hands off Alec. My breaths came faster and more ragged as I dug my nails into my palms. I clenched my teeth together so hard, I thought I’d break a tooth. I didn’t want to, but I forced myself to look. I watched Alec and his partner perform one amazing, erotic pose after another, and each movement chipped another piece off my ridiculous heart.

As I focused on them, realization hit me, and I felt sick. He didn’t hang out with me on Wednesday because he was at the Acroletes gym. With her. He’d made his choice that night, and it clearly hadn’t been me.

Why did he want me to come watch this? I’d been an idiot to think that a few kisses meant that he wanted something serious with me. I’d just been the body on hand to satisfy his needs at the time. Alec was no different than Pickles.

Jealousy clawed at my heart as Alec held the girl’s hand and spun her into his body, dipping her backward while gazing at her. People whistled and catcalled, which only made me feel worse. I had to swallow past the gigantic rock in my throat as his palm slid down her arm until he reached her hand to twine their fingers together. Their faces were so close they were almost kissing.

I hated how amazing they looked together, like they were made for one another. My chest tightened with humiliation; something I hadn’t felt since the night of the bonfire. I was stupid to stick around and watch the rest of the show. Alec wasn’t just hurting me this time, he was crushing me. Catching Pickles cheating on me was painful and embarrassing, but my heart was never invested in Pickles. Breaking up with him had almost been a relief. Watching Alec with another girl, however, was a thousand times worse. I hadn’t even realized how hard I’d already started to fall until that moment.

My chin trembled as I spoke. “Can we go? I’m not really in the mood for basketball. Besides, I need a drink. Like yesterday.” I cleared my throat and looked at Julie and then over at Alexis. They stared at one another, faces pinched, before they nodded. I kept my head down as we made our way up the aisle toward the exit.

“That’s my girl.” Julie slung an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry about that ridonkulously good-looking human specimen. Guys like that don’t date sorority chicks anyway. I heard the Acroletes are drug-free or something. They don’t drink anything other than protein shakes. No fun.”

I blinked my eyes to fight back the tears. She was wrong. Alec had been more than fun, but that didn’t mean we were right for one another. The problem was, I’d gotten him, for just a minute, and that loss now cut me deep. A tear rolled down my cheek, and I brushed it away with my fingertip.

“You okay?” Alexis looped her arm in mine as we made our way across campus toward Route One. Her eyes were soft, and her smile was strained.

I had worked hard to become stronger. I didn’t need the girls worrying about me, but I loved that they did. “Yeah. I thought he actually liked me. Stupid.” I swallowed hard and wiped away another stray tear. “I hadn’t realized that I wasn’t the only girl in his life. I don’t want to be one of many. I want to be the one. You know?” My voice cracked, and I bit my lip. “I guess it’s better I realized that now before I got too attached.” I glanced away, each of those words feeling like a stab in my chest as I spoke them out loud.

“Just because they perform together, doesn’t mean they’re hooking up.” Alexis wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“Oh, they’re total fuck buddies.” Julie chortled. “Did you see the way his hand was all over her ass in that third pose?”

“Jules!” Alexis glared at Julie and squeezed me harder.

My breath caught in my throat. Julie’s honesty was brutal, but that was also one of the things I loved about her. Besides, she wasn’t saying anything that I wasn’t already thinking.

“What?” Julie stopped in front of us. “It’s the truth, and so what if he’s hooking up with that chick? Taren doesn’t need him. She’s sexy and fun. She can go out tonight and have her pick of guys.” Julie hooked her arm in mine. “Just like I do.”

Her last words were softer. Julie thought she was fooling everyone, but not Alexis or me. We knew she wanted the same thing we both wanted, to be the
one
to the right person. Julie just weeded through guys much faster.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek to keep from letting my shame get the best of me. Alec and his partner looked and acted like a real couple, while he and I…did not. We hadn’t even been on a real date yet.

I looked at Julie and sighed, my throat too thick to speak. Her face fell, and she reached for my hand, but I pulled away, waving my hand in front of my face. I was not going to lose it. I was not. What I was going to do was to move on and forget about high school crushes. The best way to do that was to party.

“I’m sorry I can’t go with you guys. I have a huge Chemistry test tomorrow.” Alexis changed the subject, and I was so happy I wanted to kiss her.

“How can you go through college not partying? Studying is so not worth that.” Julie shook her head, and Alexis rolled her eyes.

I smiled sadly at Jules, glad I had friends to help me forget my heartache. “She wants to be a doctor and save lives. That’s a hell of a lot more noble than drinking with us, Jules.”

Julie wrinkled her nose at me. “Don’t tell me you agree with her. I can’t afford to lose my dancing partner.” She shoved her tiny elbow into my side, and I forced out a laugh.

“Not a chance, sister. I’m totally ready to get hammered and dance tonight.” I needed to release the bad feelings lodged in my chest, and a night with Jules was my answer.

“Good, because you don’t have a choice.” Julie looped her arm through mine.

As we exited campus, Alexis hugged us and crossed the street to our house, while Julie and I waved and turned to walk to The Shell. We pushed open the door to the bar. The bouncer inside was a nice guy. Julie always flirted with him, and he pretended not to notice our fake IDs.

“Hello, ladies.” He glanced down at our offered IDs and then opened the inner door to the bar. “Have fun.”

Julie hugged him, and we walked inside. The pulsating music surrounded me and filled my confused brain with nothing but blessed noise. No room existed in this bar for any sadness, jealousy, or self-pity. The time had come to have some fun.

“I’m getting us a drink!” Julie shouted in my ear, and I nodded, moving to the music. I licked my lips and took a deep breath. Game face on.

“I’d say it’s a liquor kind of night, right?” Julie asked when she returned from her trip to the bar. She handed me a pink drink, and I swallowed it in one gulp. Cranberry and vodka. The combination went down easy and did the job well. I could feel my cares slipping away. Perfect.

***

My shoulders swayed to the music, and I tossed back another drink. I’d lost count of how many Julie had already brought to me. I was buzzed and feeling loose. The house band was on stage, and Julie squealed in delight. “That bass player is so unbelievably gorgeous.”

She pulled me onto the dance floor, and I studied her newest fixation. Wow. Absolutely hot, just not at all her type. The guy’s arms were almost fully sleeved with tattoos, and his short dark hair was messy and spiked. She waved, coyly, but he completely ignored her.

“Let’s show him what he’s missing.” Julie grabbed my hips, and I shimmied closer to her. I ran my hands up through my hair, and she rolled her shoulders, jutting her chest toward me. We held hands and laughed at the show we were putting on for her clueless obsession.

As we continued to dance, her gaze was drawn over and over again to the stage. “What an asshole. He’s not even looking.” Julie’s attention was fixed on the bass player, but he only had eyes for the instrument in his hands and the way his fingers mastered their way across the strings. She frowned in confusion as he continued to ignore her, despite the fact that she was pulling out all her best dance moves.

“Drinks!” she shouted in irritation, pulling me off the dance floor.

The bar blurred in front of my eyes, and the people standing around it were foggy. Having another drink was probably a bad idea, but I was feeling so much better than I had before. I didn’t want to let the happy haze disappear. My insecurities would come crashing back in on me too easily. I could feel them lingering, waiting for the moment I sobered up. I shook my head, clearing away the fuzzy lines of the bar and smiled up at the handsome bartender.

“Two tequila shots, please.” Julie leaned over the counter and shouted her order. “And two beers.”

The glasses slid across the worn wood of the bar top. I reached for one, and the liquid sloshed wildly against the edges with my clumsiness.

“To forgetting.” I clinked my shot glass against Julie’s before slamming back the nasty liquor. I coughed and then laughed when Julie handed me my beer.

“Chaser,” we said in unison. We clinked bottles, and I drank quickly.

“I’m so going to regret this in the morning, but at the moment, I don’t care.” I yelled in Julie’s ear, and she swallowed her beer in large gulps.

“And that’s why we party, chica. The booze makes it all better.” She gave me a wet kiss on the cheek, and I threw my head back in laughter.

“Taren.” A large hand gripped my shoulder, and I turned to see who called my name. The room tilted and spun. I closed my eyes to gain my bearings but stumbled off balance.
Oh. Bad move.
I opened them to find Alec glaring at me. He had changed out of his Acroletes costume and was wearing his Shell Shocked bouncer uniform.

“What’s up?” My voice was clipped and defensive as I turned to face him. I waved to Julie as she took off with a group of our sisters onto the dance floor. They began, what looked like, a good old-fashioned twerk-off.

His large arms were crossed over his chest, and he scowled down at me. “Did you leave early? I looked for you after halftime ended. Your seats were empty.”

“Yeah, I got bored.”
Hello bitchy Taren, where did you come from?
No one in that entire arena thought any part of the Acroletes show was boring.

The flash of hurt in Alec’s eyes was brief, but clear. “You got bored?” His jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed.

“Well, not bored with the show exactly. I got bored watching you basically dry hump that girl in front of eighteen thousand people.“ I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes right back at him. The room spun around, and I did everything in my power to hold my stance. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend? I know what it’s like to be cheated on. I don’t want to be that chick. I don’t want to hook up with another girl’s guy.”

The anger wiped clean off his face, and his gaze softened as he laughed. “You’re mad about Amanda? Holy shit. She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just balancing partners.”

I huffed, and my eyebrows pinched together. “Right. I’m not that naïve, Alec. At least have enough respect for me to tell me the truth. It’s obvious you’re hooking up with her.” I could hear myself slurring the words. I should stop drinking before I ended up passed out in a corner somewhere choking on my tongue.

“No.” Alec stopped smiling and bent his knees, making sure to look right into my eyes. His hands gripped my shoulders, and he squeezed gently. “I’m with you.”

My heart raced, and I had to look away. “Have you ever been with Amanda?”

Alec shifted, looking to the side as he dropped his hands. “We messed around freshman year a few times. Nothing serious.”

My laugh was bitter. “Right. You haven’t hooked up since last year. Sure, Alec.”

“Taren—” Alec’s scolding was cut off when Doug picked me up and twirled me toward him.

“You’re slowing down, Denton. Shots! Let’s go.” He handed me a glass filled with liquor.

Alec grabbed my hand. His nostrils flared, and lips curled as he pulled me close. Some of the liquid in the shot spilled over the rim and down my arm. “I thought you broke up with him.” Alec snarled, nodding toward Doug.

“Oh.” I shook my head and plastered a large, fake smile on my face. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my
drinking partner,
” I shot back. “Look, you’ve got a beautiful balancing partner, and I’ve got an eager drinking partner. I’m here to party.”

My voice fell at the end. I looked away before lifting the glass Doug had given me. I threw it back, not caring what it was. Whatever had been in the glass burned like a mother going down. I swayed and Doug grabbed my elbow to steady me. A wobbly smile formed on my face, and I gave Alec a smartass wave as Doug led me away.

“You don’t really like that meathead bouncer do you? I saw him at the halftime show. He’s a freak.” Doug glared at Alec over my shoulder, and I stared at Doug’s chest, trying to find my balance. The soft round bulge of his belly was outlined in his old, faded Greek Week T-shirt. If I closed my eyes halfway and let them blur the image before me, I could picture the contours and ridges of Alec’s chest that I remembered all too vividly. My head was spinning, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the memory or my intoxication.