ACT I, SCENE I
(Enter Sosia from the harbour, holding a lantern
.)
SOSIA
(to himself):
Is there a bolder or more valiant man
Than I, who know the habits of our youth,
Yet walk abroad by night and all alone?
And what if the night-watchmen in their rounds
Put me in jail, and from the prison’s cell
Tomorrow I was handed over to
The whipping-post, no one to take my part,
And no help from my master; none to think
Me worthy; eight strong fellows then would flay
My back as ‘twere an anvil; such would be
The public welcome that I should receive,
On thus returning from a foreign shore.
My master’s haste has this to answer for,
Who for no purpose forces me by night
To leave the harbour; was it not as well
To let me go by day? Hard, hard, it is
To serve a wealthy man; and this is why
A rich man’s slave more miserable is;
By night and day enough and more to do,
And something still which must be said or done
To rob you of your rest; your lord himself
Rolling in wealth, and all unused to toil,
Thinks everything that comes into his head
Can easily be done; he thinks it fair,
And never reckons what the cost may be,
Nor thinks if what he wants be just or no.
We then have much to suffer, we poor slaves;
The burden must be borne what’er the toil.
MERCURY
(aside) :
I have more reason to complain
today;
For I was free, his father was a slave;
And yet this fellow, who was born a slave,
Thinks he may grumble. I a slave in name
Have just as much to suffer.
SOSIA: Now it comes
Into my head to pay my grateful thanks
On landing to the gods for what they’ve done;
For, if they treated me as I deserve,
They’d send some fellow who would smash my face,
Because for all the good that they have done
I ne‘er have thanked them.
MERCURY
(aside):
Well, this fellow does
What is not common; his deserts he knows.
SOSIA: What I, nor any ever thought would happen,
That we should reach our homes all safe and sound,
Has come to pass; we are the conquerors,
The enemy have lost; our legions come;
The war’s all over; what a war it was,
With hosts of slain; the town, which bitter trouble
Has wrought the Theban people, is destroyed
Under Amphitryon’s happy leadership.
With booty rich, and land, and great renown,
He has repaid his soldiers; and secured
The crown to Creon. From the harbour he
Sent me straight home to tell his wife the news,
How under him as guide the State has fared.
And I must think how best to tell it her.
If I tell lies, I’m doing as I’m wont;
For when they fought the most, I furthest fled;
Yet still I must pretend that I was there,
And tell what I have heard; yet in what words,
And how I am to tell it, I must think.
I’ll begin thus: when first we did arrive,
First touched the land, Amphitryon did choose
His leaders out, and sent them to the foe,
To announce his terms; if they, without being forced,
Their booty and its captors would restore,
If they returned what they had carried off,
He would withdraw his army home again,
The Argives would have the land, and peace be theirs.
But if they’re otherwise disposed, nor grant
What he demands, then he with all his force
Will straight besiege their town. And when they heard
From those whom thus Amphitryon had sent
What were his terms, these proud and mighty men,
Strong in their valour, and their sense of power,
Fiercely attack our envoys; say that they
Can well defend themselves and theirs in war;
And that the army must at once withdraw.
And when our envoys told Amphitryon
What had been said, he leads his army out;
The Teloboans in their turn come forth,
And range their legions, clad in armour bright.
Then was there marshalling on either side;
Leaders and regiments each set in their place,
We in our wonted fashion, they in theirs.
Then comes a leader out on either side;
They hold a parley there, and then agree
Whichever loses in the fight, should give
His land and city, hearths and altars up;
That done, the trumpets sound on either side;
The earth responsive rings, the armies shout,
The leaders, both on this side and on that,
Make prayer to Jove, and call upon their troops;
Each soldier to his utmost strength and power
Strikes with his sword; the lances splinter then,
And heaven rings with mingled shouts of men.
The breath of men, the panting of the steeds,
Rises in clouds; the while on every side
Stricken with wounds they fall; at length our troops
Prove themselves better; we have conquered them;
On every side they fall; our men rush on;
Yet no one turns to flight, and no one leaves
The place appointed to him; rather they
Would lose their lives than stir from where they stand.
So each lies where he stood, and keeps his rank.
This when Amphitryon, my master, saw,
He straightway bids his cavalry to charge
On the right wing; immediately they go,
And fall with shouts and clamour on the foe,
Still urging onwards, while beneath their feet
They tread and trample on the impious men.
MERCURY
(aside):
So far at least this man’s said nothing
wrong;
For I was there, when this great fight was fought,
I and my father too.
SOSIA: At last they take
To flight; this gives fresh courage to our men,
And as they fly their backs are filled with darts.
With his own hand Amphitryon slew their king.
And so the fight went on from morn till eve.
I know it was so, for I went undined.
Night stayed the battle by its coming on.
On the day after, to our camp there came
Their princes all in tears, with clasped hands,
Beseeching us to pardon their offense,
And promising to give themselves, their children,
Their city, all things human and divine,
Into the keeping of the Theban people.
And then was given to Amphitryon,
In token of his valour, the gold cup
Which Pterela had used. This will I tell
My mistress. Now, as bidden by my master,
I will go home, and do as he has said.
MERCURY
(aside):
Ah, he is coming! But I’ll go before
him;
Nor shall this man approach this house today.
Since I am masquerading in his form
’Tis certain I can cheat him; and, besides,
If I have ta‘en his form I also take
His manner and his actions; I must be
A rascal, sly, astute; with his own arms
Of roguery I’ll keep him from the house.
But what is that? He’s gazing at the sky;
I will observe him.
SOSIA: If there’s anything
One may believe or know, I am quite sure
The God of night has drunk too much tonight;
For neither Charles’s Wain moves in the sky,
Nor does the Moon, who is just where she rose;
Nor do Orion, Venus, or the Pleiads set;
The constellations keep their stated posts;
And night no longer gives place to the day.
MERCURY
(aside):
Proceed, Night, as you have begun;
obey
My sire’s command; great favour you have done,
And great will be the reward you shall receive.
SOSIA: I never saw a longer night than this,
Save that when I was scourged and hung by the heels;
And this I think is longer ev’n than that.
The Sun ’twould seem is sleeping, and has drunk
Too much; ‘tis strange, if he’s not been too free
At dinner-time.
MERCURY
(aside):
And say you so, you wretch?
D’ye think the gods are somewhat like yourself?
I’ll hold you to account for what you say;
Come here, you rascal; you’ll not find it pleasant.
SOSIA: Where’s that vile herd that cannot sleep alone?
This night will bring some gain to those they hire.
MERCURY
(aside):
Then if this fellow’s right my father
has
Been wise to stay within Alcmena’s bed,
Following his own sweet will.
SOSIA: And now I’ll go
And tell Alcmena as my master bade. (He sees Mercury)
But who’s this man I see before the house?
I do not like it.
MERCURY
(aside):
There is not, I’m sure,
A greater coward than he.
SOSIA: It seems to me
This man intends perhaps to steal my cloak.
MERCURY
(aside) :
He’s in a fright; I’ll cheat him.
SOSIA: I’m undone.
My teeth all chatter; this man surely will
Receive me in a most pugnacious way.
Yet he has pity; and because my master
Has made me stay up all the night out here,
His fist will lull me into sleep again.
I am quite ruined; see how strong is he!
MERCURY
(aside):
I’ll speak out clearly; he’ll hear what
I say;
And so will be the more afraid.
(Aloud)
Now, fists,
Bestir yourselves; for long you’ve had no food;
‘Tis ages since you sent four men to rest
And stole their clothes.
SOSIA
(aside):
I’m terribly afraid
He’ll change my name, and make of me the fifth,
And Quintus in the future I’ll be called.
Four men already he has sent to rest,
I fear that I shall to their number add.
MERCURY: Hal therel I’m ready for him.
SOSIA
(aside):
He’s prepared.
He’s making haste.
MERCURY: He shan’t escape a beating.
SOSIA
(aside):
Who shan’t?
MERCURY: Whoever comes here eats my fists.
SOSIA
(aside):
I do not eat at night; and I have dined;
Pray give your supper unto those who starve.
MERCURY: This is a weighty fist.
SOSIA
(aside):
I am undone.
He weighs his fist.
MERCURY: What if I stroke him gently
That he may sleep.
SOSIA
(aside):
You’ve hit upon the thing;
For three long nights I have been watching now.
MERCURY: But this won’t do! My fist, you must not learn
To strike him feebly. Whom you even graze,
Must have himself all changed, and take again
Another form.
SOSIA
(aside):
That man will touch me up
And make my face quite different.
MERCURY: If you hit
Him fair and square, I’m sorry for his bones.
SOSIA
(aside):
Strange if he does not bone me like an eel.
Away with one who bones his fellow-men!
I’m done for, if he sees me.
MERCURY: There’s a smell,
I think, of man—which bodes no good to him.
SOSIA
(aside):
What have I done?
MERCURY: He cannot be far off;
Though he was far enough just now.
SOSIA
(aside):
This man
Is sure a wizard and a sorcerer.
MERCURY: And now my fists are itching to begin.
SOSIA
(aside):
If you are going to use them upon me,
Try the wall first.
MERCURY: A voice has reached my ear,
Flying on wings.
SOSIA
(aside):
Unhappy that I am,
Not to have clipped the wings; I seem to have
A birdlike voice.
MERCURY: He evidently wants
A thrashing for his beast.
SOSIA
(aside):
I have no beast.
MERCURY: He must be loaded with my fists.
SOSIA
(aside):
Nay, sir,
I am weary of my voyage on the sea,
And still am sick; even without a load,
I scarce can walk; and with one I believe
I should not walk at all.
MERCURY: Some one, I think,
Is talking here.
SOSIA
(aside):
So I am safe at last;
He sees me not; some one, he says, is talking;
But I am Sosia.
MERCURY: Somewhere on the right
This voice would seem to strike my ear.
SOSIA (
aside
): I fear
’Tis not my voice that strikes his ear that will
Be struck, but I myself.
MERCURY: He is advancing.
SOSIA: I’m stiff with fright; if any ask, I know
Not where I am; nor can I move from fear;
Now all is over; and my master’s mission
And Sosia himself go down together.
Howe‘er, I’ll try to speak as bold as may be,
And then perhaps he’ll keep his hands off me.
MERCURY: And whither, carrying Vulcan in your lamp
Of horn?
SOSIA: And who made you inquisitor,
Who say you knock men’s teeth out with your fists?
MERCURY: Are you a slave or free?
SOSIA: Both if I choose.
MERCURY: Aye, say you so?
SOSIA: Why, yes, I do indeed.
MERCURY: You lie; I’ll make you learn to speak the truth.
SOSIA: What need of that?
MERCURY: Now I must know at once
Whither you go, as well as whose you are
And why you came.
SOSIA: Well, then, I’m coming here;
I am my master’s slave. Is that enough?
MERCURY: I’ll stop that wretched tongue of yours today.
SOSIA: You cannot; ’tis as good and clean as yours.
MERCURY: And do you quibble? What have you to do
Here at this house?
SOSIA: Why, what is that to you?
MERCURY: King Creon stations separate sentinels
To watch by night.
SOSIA: So doing he does well;
While we’re abroad our house is safe and sound.
But go and say the servants have arrived.
MERCURY: Well, I know nought of that; unless you go
At once, I will arrange that your reception
Is not the sort that family servants get.
SOSIA: But I live here, and am these people’s slave.
MERCURY: Dost thou know how? I’ll have you carried
out
Upon a litter, in your pride of state.
SOSIA: How, pray?
MERCURY: You will not need to walk, but will
Be carried off if once I take my stick.
SOSIA: But I assert, I am this family’s slave.
MERCURY: Look to‘t—you’ll soon be ready for a beating,
Unless you go at once.
SOSIA: Do you pretend
To stop me coming home who’ve been abroad?
MERCURY: Is this your home?
SOSIA: Why, yes, it is indeed.
MERCURY: And who’s your master?
SOSIA: ’Tis Amphitryon,
The general of the Theban army, he
Who’s married to Alcmena.
MERCURY: What’s your name?
SOSIA: They call me Sosia, the son of Davus.
MERCURY: Then you have come today with made-up
tales
And patched-up lies, thou height of impudence!
SOSIA: Nay, if you like, with patched-up clothes, not lies.
MERCURY: And now you lie again; upon your feet
You came, not on your clothes.
SOSIA: Yes, very true!
MERCURY: Then take that for your lies. (Striking him)
SOSIA: That will I not.
MERCURY: Whether you will or no; for this is sure;
It is no matter of opinion.
SOSIA: Be civil, please.
MERCURY: And dare you say that you
Are Sosia, when I myself am he. (Still striking him)
SOSIA: I’m killed entirely.
MERCURY: That is but a small
Instalment of what will be. Whose are you now?
SOSIA: Why yours; your fists have marked me for your
own—
Your help, ye citizens of Thebes!
MERCURY: Do you
Call out, you rascal? Say for what you came.
SOSIA: To be a target for your fists, good sir.
MERCURY: Whose are you then?