The Posse (14 page)

Sadie and Mack were abnormally quiet
when Jude appeared in the restaurant. Sadie offered to fix her some
eggs, and Mack poured her a new cup of coffee, adding just the
right amount of cream. They sat her down on the deck, and Sadie
fussed at her to eat while Mack covered the kitchen.

She had choked down about
half of her eggs, with Sadie watching every move of her fork, when
she finally lost it.

“Okay, what did Logan tell
you?” She laid down her silverware and pinned Sadie with a glare.
“You may as well tell me.”

Sadie pursed her lips and
looked away, toward the ocean. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re treating me the same
way you did right after Daniel died, like I’m about to break. I
want to know why.”

“Well, there’s no need to
get testy, miss. Mind your tone.” She softened the words by leaning
over and patting Jude’s hand. “Logan told us about Joseph. He
didn’t want to, but Mack and I were so worried. We thought—when he
said you hadn’t felt well and had called him, why, we were thinking
the worst. That there was something wrong with you.” Sadie’s soft
blue eyes filled with tears.

“Oh.” Jude looked down at
her plate and drew in a breath. “I see.”

“He wasn’t talking behind
your back,” Sadie hurried to assure her. “He told us to ask you
about it. But I think he knew you’d end up telling us yourself
anyway.”

Jude blinked back her own
tears. She wasn’t going to start the day off by crying, not again.
“Sadie, I don’t know what to do. Joseph isn’t ready to be a father.
He’s just a boy still.”

Sadie squeezed her hand.
“None of them are, honey. They’re all children until that baby
comes along. Joseph’s going to have to get up to speed faster than
most, sure, but I know that boy. He’s got a good head on his
shoulders, and he’s going to do what’s right. You wait and see.
Right now, it feels like the end of the world, but before long,
you’re going to look back on this as one of the biggest blessings
in your life.”

Jude sniffed and wiped at
her eyes with a napkin. “You think so?”

“I know so.” Sadie laughed.
“A grandbaby! Just think! Maybe he didn’t come along right when you
would’ve liked him, but just you wait, you’re going to love him to
bits. And spoiled! I can’t wait to get my hands on that baby. It’s
been a long time since any of mine were that little.”

“Did Logan tell you the
baby’s name?” Jude picked up her fork, managed another bite of
breakfast.

“No, what is it?” Sadie
smiled expectantly.

“Daniel Joseph. She—Lindsay,
that’s the baby’s mother—she calls him D.J.” Jude drew in a long,
shuddering breath. “That made me think she must be a decent girl,
right? To name her baby after a man she didn’t really know?”

Sadie sniffed and nodded.
“Of course she is. Joseph dated her, and maybe things aren’t going
in the exact order you wanted, but that’s okay.” She stood up and
peered through the window into the kitchen. “Now I got to get back
in there before that dang man of mine burns the pancakes. You
finish eating, and then I’ll put you to work.”

Work was a balm, and Jude
kept busy all morning. No one outside of Sadie and Mack seemed to
have noticed her absence at opening time, though she knew she’d get
some ribbing the next day when her early birds showed up.

Right before noon, Jude’s
phone rang. When she saw Joseph’s name, she stepped outside to
answer the call.

“Mom? You okay?” The anxiety
in her son’s voice tugged at her heart, and she smiled.

“Yeah, baby. I’m fine. How
are you, though? How is everything there?”

“Mom, it’s amazing. The baby
is so beautiful, and he’s so smart! He lifts his head up and he
follows me around with his eyes. I think he knows I’m his dad. I
know that’s crazy, but I think he does.”

Jude heard love and pride in
every word, and her heart swelled. “Honey, I’m glad. I can’t wait
to see him, too. But how about Lindsay? How does she feel?”

He sighed. “She’s amazing,
too, Mom. I know you met her before, but I want you to really get
to know her. Her parents were a little stiff at first. Her dad
talked to me last night about responsibilities, and how I need to
face up to mine. But he wasn’t bad about it. He was kind of like
Dad, you know?”

Jude felt tears on her
cheeks and didn’t even try to wipe them away. “Yes, I know what you
mean. Joseph, I’m glad. I don’t know if I could be so understanding
if it were Meggie in the same situation. They sound like wonderful
people.”

“They really are.” He was
quiet for a minute. “I know I’m missing school, but I’m going to
stay down here for a little while. I can’t leave them right away.
We have so much we need to work out.”

Jude bit her lip. “I
understand. Just keep me posted, okay?”

“I will. Oh, and tell Uncle
Logan thanks again for me, will you? I hope you didn’t mind that I
called him and told him everything. I just thought you needed
someone, and he seemed like the best person.  I kind of
thought he’d understand.”

Jude kept her voice normal.
“I’ll tell him. Of course I didn’t mind. It was good to have Uncle
Logan here to talk with me. I’m glad you called him.”

After they hung up, with
Joseph’s promise to call every day still ringing in her ears, Jude
leaned against the brick of the building and stared out at the
ocean.

Had she told Joseph the
truth? Was she glad he had called Logan, that Logan had come over
and drunk limoncello with her? Definitely. Was she happy about what
had happened next?

She just wasn’t sure.

On one hand, if someone had
asked her yesterday whether she wanted to date or was ready to move
on with her life, she would have said no. Given the choice, she
might never have moved on from Daniel.

But maybe it was like what
Sadie had said. Just as fatherhood had been thrust on Joseph before
he was quite ready, perhaps whatever this was with Logan was
something she would never have sought, but needed.

Even with as much limoncello
as she had consumed, she remembered every nuance of making love
with Logan. Every touch, every moan, every movement of his
lips...even now, with the damp sea air blowing around her, Jude
could feel his touch.

It hadn’t been awkward or
uncomfortable. There hadn’t even been a moment of uncertainty. On
some level, it was as though she were meant to be with Logan, and
her body had responded, even if her mind was a little slow to catch
up.

She sighed and pushed off
the building. Seven hours until she’d see him again, and she
couldn’t decide if she was dreading the evening...or dying of
anticipation.

***

Having sex for the first time in over
eighteen months when she was mostly drunk was one thing. Having
hours to think about it doing it again was quite another.

First Jude had to convince
Sadie and Mack that it was safe to leave her. Sadie invited her
home, offered to make dinner, repeatedly reminded her that she
didn’t have to be alone. She almost told them that she was going to
spend the evening with Logan, but something held her tongue. She
wasn’t quite ready to go public with whatever was between them
yet.

They stayed with her until
five o’clock and walked her to the car. She waved, pasting what she
hoped was a reassuring smile on her face.  She drove home
without seeing any of the familiar landmarks and pulled into the
garage on autopilot.

Jude walked into the house
that been her haven for nearly twenty years and tried to see it
through Logan’s eyes. Would he feel too much of Daniel’s presence
here? Would it make him uncomfortable? Last night, the apartment
had been almost neutral territory. What if it were different
tonight?

Her phone buzzed, a text
message from Meghan, just checking in. Jude dropped into a kitchen
chair. She had promised Joseph she would tell Meggie about the
baby, and getting out of the way now seemed like a good idea.

That conversation lasted
nearly forty-five minutes. Meghan was shocked; she cried, she
railed against what she termed her brother’s ‘stupidity and
irresponsibility’. But in the end, she decided she was more
interested in her new nephew than in killing Joseph. She assured
her mother that she would call him and wouldn’t yell.

Jude wilted on her chair,
exhausted again. After the day she had had, was it really wise to
see Logan tonight? The only thing that kept her from canceling was
the conviction that he just wouldn’t take no for an answer.

She showered again, taking
her time. She pulled out a new razor and paid special attention to
parts of her body she hadn’t worried about in many months. She
washed her hair twice, conditioned it and rinsed until the water
ran clear.

Wrapped in an oversized
towel, she stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom.
Janet had given her a luscious new body cream for her birthday, and
she rubbed it over her legs and arms with meticulous care. She
dropped the towel to finish with her stomach and stopped, staring
at her reflection.

Once upon a time, she
remembered, she’d had a firm, taut middle, adequate breasts and
smooth, supple skin. Everything had been where it was supposed to
be before two children and twenty-five years of gravity. She’d
always thought she had aged fairly well; Daniel hadn’t ever
complained, and she’d been conscientious about exercise and eating
smart.

But examining herself now,
she saw bones jutting in her hips, a softly rounded stomach,
breasts that had been through two pregnancies and a few years of
nursing. It hadn’t mattered so much to Daniel, because he had been
with her at each stage. It had been his babies who changed her
body. She wondered how Logan would look at her. Why would he want
her when he could easily choose a younger woman with all her body
parts in the right place?

The same doubt gnawed at
Jude as she dressed, choosing a light and floaty cotton dress with
simple flat sandals. After hesitating a few minutes, she took
special care in choosing what she wore under the dress. Not that
she was planning anything, necessarily, but it didn’t hurt to be
prepared. Lacy purple underwear and a matching bra never hurt
anyone.

She dried her hair, thinking
it was one of things she still had going for her. There wasn’t even
a hint of gray in the silky black strands. If she helped that out a
bit once a month, it was at least one easy thing she could do to
fight the onslaught of time.

As she finished doing her
hair, a glint on her finger caught her eye. She glanced down at her
left hand, where Daniel’s rings remained. She had thought about
taking them off at different points in the last year, but it had
never felt right. And even now...she closed her fist and shook her
head. Not yet.

She kept her makeup light,
added a little perfume and was ready before she heard Logan’s car
pull into the driveway.  Standing at the window, she watched
him stride toward the porch.

He wore dark khaki cargo
shorts and a plain green t-shirt. Jude was surprised that he was
dressed so casually, since she thought they were going out to
dinner. When he got a little closer, she could see that he’d gotten
his hair cut since she’d seen him in the morning. For some reason,
that fact melted her heart just a little bit more. Yes, she’d been
freaking out all day, thinking about tonight, but knowing Logan
might have been worrying a little bit, too, made her feel so much
better.

Jude opened the door before
he could ring the bell, and Logan met her eyes with a smile. She
had expected seeing him again to be awkward, uncomfortable, but
Logan didn’t pause. He stepped up to the threshold and slipped his
arms around her waist. Before Jude could say a word, his mouth was
over hers, possessive and warm.

He finished with a small
kiss to the side of her mouth.

“Hi.” He smiled down into
her eyes. “I’ve been thinking about doing that all day. Waiting to
get back to you and do that.”

Jude’s mouth curved. “Hi.”
Her heart pounding, she reached up and buried her hand in the back
of his hair. Pulling him back to her, she kissed him again and felt
his pleasure that she had taken the initiative.

Standing back, she gestured
through the door. “Do you want to come in for a minute, or do we
need to go? You didn’t say where we were having dinner, so I hope
this dress is okay.”

“You’re beautiful, as
always.” Logan brushed back her hair. “Perfect. We don’t exactly
have reservations, but I think we should head out.”

Jude grabbed her handbag,
locking the door behind them. Logan took her hand and led her to
the car.

“So where are we going?”
Jude’s curiosity got the better of her as Logan turned in his seat,
backing out of the driveway.