Authors: Carl Weber
“Yeah, little does she know I’m probably a worse one on you.” We both laughed as I said goodbye and headed for the side entrance to the church.
I entered the Soul Café on Forty-second Street and headed straight for the bar, relieved that no one had stopped me to check my ID. I searched for an empty table. I was early for my date with Terrance and I wanted to have a drink to calm my nerves before he arrived. Just the thought of being alone with him had me so excited that my hands were shaking. I’d been dating Terrance for a little over four months now and he continued to have the same overwhelming effect on me as he had the first day we met. He was unlike any other man that I’d ever dated, and there was no doubt in my mind that I was in love with him.
I spotted an empty booth on the other side of the bar where I was sure Terrance would see me. I immediately headed toward it. I could feel the eyes of almost every man in the place on me as I walked across the room. A few of them tried to stop me for idle chitchat, but I ignored them and kept right on going. There wasn’t anything in that room that interested me other than a drink, but those fools were persistent as hell. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to wear such a micro-miniskirt, but Terrance had mentioned on more than one occasion that he liked seeing me in skirts because of my shapely legs. Truth is, I think he liked the easy access to what was under my skirt a little more, but either way, I was hoping that when he came in,
he’d
be pleased. I never imagined I’d end up being eye candy for every horny guy in Manhattan, though. Oh well, I guess that’s just the price you pay when you’re trying to please the man you love.
I’d known I wanted Terrance the second he showed up at the church two years before. He was everything I’d ever hoped for in a man. He was handsome, caring, intelligent, funny, and as I would find out later, a phenomenal lover. Everything a girl would want to take home to her momma—that is, if her momma weren’t a bitch like mine. From the moment I had showed an interest in boys, my mother made it clear that no one was good enough for her daughter. That was ironic, though, because it also seemed like no matter how hard I tried to please her, nothing I did was ever good enough for her. Any time I was less than perfect, she would remind me what a disappointment I was. My mother was a hard woman to please, which was why I didn’t make my interest in Terrance public knowledge.
However, I wasn’t the only one interested in him, and the others weren’t shy about hiding their feelings. It seemed like every woman in the church was after him—including my best friend, RaShanda Wright. With all that competition, I had my work cut out for me just to get his attention, but I knew one day he was going to be mine. One day he was gonna take my gift of virginity and make me his woman. I would just have to be patient. Besides, my real dilemma wasn’t RaShanda or the other girls in the church. It was my mother, the biggest cock blocker in New York. The way she acted you could have made a case that she wanted Terrance for herself. So, unlike the other girls in the church, it took a little longer for him to notice me than I would have liked. I didn’t mind, though, because after all those lonely Friday and Saturday nights I spent dreaming about him, Terrance finally asked me out to dinner and we’d been a couple ever since.
When I finally arrived at the booth, it didn’t take long for the waitress to appear. I ordered an apple martini and drank about half of it before I nearly choked on what was left of it. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I spotted Shorty headed my way. I was tempted to duck under the table, but by then it was obvious he’d seen me. Three seconds later he slid into the seat across from me and smiled.
“Shorty? What are you doing here?” I whispered. My voice was filled with paranoia and agitation as I glanced around the bar, expecting Dante to pop up at any moment.
“I heard you tell Dante where you were going,” he replied.
“You followed me?” My jaw dropped and my eyes were as wide as silver dollars. I glanced at my watch nervously. I only had about ten minutes to get rid of him before Terrance showed up.
“Yeah, I wanted to see if we had the same taste in women,” he said sarcastically. “I mean, you are gay, aren’t you? That’s the excuse you used when you rejected me.” There was anger in his eyes and his voice was testy.
“What are you getting an attitude about? You’re not my man. And I do not appreciate you following me. My social life is my business, Shorty. I don’t be chasin’ around after you and Dante when y’all be messin’ with them hootchies. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m waiting for someone and you’re sitting in their seat.” I picked up my drink and turned my head toward the door.
“You want me to leave? Okay, I’ll leave, but I’m just going over to the bar to have a drink.” He started to slide out of the booth and I grabbed his arm with my free hand.
“Go home, Shorty.”
“For what, Donna? Is there something you don’t want me to see?”
“No. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Why? Are you seeing someone I know?”
“That’s none of your business. Where’s Dante? I know he’s lurking around here somewhere.” I changed the subject.
“He’s at the church.”
Well, thank God for small favors
, I thought.
“Good. Now go home, Shorty.” I tried to convey my point with my most serious expression.
“You want me to leave, Donna? Okay, I’ll go, but just answer one question for me.” I was desperate so I agreed with a nod. “Why’d you lie to me?”
“Lie to you about what? I didn’t lie to you, Shorty.”
“Yes, you did. You lied to me about being gay.”
I looked around to see if anyone had heard him. “Who said I lied?”
“You did when you told Dante you took condoms out his drawer. Why’d you take the condoms out of his drawer if you’re with a woman?”
I lowered my head because his face had
go ’head, tell me another lie
written all over it.
“Donna, you’re not a lesbian. You know it and I know. You’re seeing a man.”
Suddenly I felt bad. Shorty and I had fooled around a little during my late teens. Nothing serious like Terrance and me, or even as serious as Dante and his ex, Anita. Hell, I’d never even let Shorty get to third base, but as far as he was concerned, we were a couple. I didn’t mind letting him have his little fantasy, though, as long as he didn’t tell my brother or my parents about us. Truth is, I kinda liked the idea of pulling the wool over my mother’s eyes, so everything was cool for a while. Our problem came when Terrance showed up at the church and captured my heart. From that point on, I had no interest in Shorty. That’s when I told him that story about being gay. After that, he never pushed up on me again, and to my surprise, he was mature about it and kept it to himself. But I could tell from the way he looked at me now that he still cared. Don’t get me wrong, I thought Shorty was a sweet boy, but that was just it. He was a boy, and Terrance was a man.
“So what’s up, Donna? You’re messing with some dude, aren’t you?”
“Shorty, I’m sorry. I was just trying not to hurt your feelings. I care about you—”
He raised his hand to stop me so that he could finish my sentence. “But just not the way I care about you, right?” I nodded and he frowned.
“So who is he? Do I know him?”
I didn’t say a word; my facial expression said it all.
“We could have been good together, Donna. I would have done anything for you.”
“I know that, Shorty, but sometimes what’s good to you is not good for you. Besides, it would have never worked.”
“Why not?”
“Because of my mother and because of Dante. He doesn’t want us to be together, Shorty. He never did. He’s afraid he’s gonna lose his best friend to his sister.” I was trying to soften the blow, but Shorty wasn’t making it easy.
“Fuck Dante! Fuck your mother, too. I’m in love with you, Donna. You never even gave me a chance. Just give me a chance.”
“I’m sorry, Shorty, but I can’t do that. I’m not in love with you. I’m in love with someone else.” I felt so bad and he looked so sad.
“No one is ever gonna love you like I do, Donna. No one.” He got up from the seat and looked down at me with these sad, dark eyes. “Just remember this: One day you’re going to end up on my doorstep looking for that love. You just better pray that I open the door.”
I can’t explain how bad I felt as I watched Shorty walk away. My sadness was not long lived, though, because a few seconds after Shorty walked out the door, Terrance walked in. I waved at him in an attempt to get his attention. He glanced my way, but I don’t think he saw me, because this high-yellow bitch was grinning in his face like she was a contestant for Miss Black America and he was one of the judges. I was tempted to get up out of my seat and snatch her fake-ass ponytail right out of her head, but Terrance had made it very clear that he didn’t like drama. So I sat there and waited for my boo to notice me. Besides, I didn’t have anything to worry about. He’d never disrespected me. Well, at least not until now. I couldn’t believe my eyes when he leaned over and whispered something in that heifer’s ear, and you better believe I was livid when her grinning ass handed him a piece of paper and he took out a pen and started writing. He might not have liked drama, but he was about to get some. I’d given that man my heart, not to mention my virginity. He was not going to make a fool out of me.
“Excuse me, miss. Can I buy you a drink?” I looked up as a handsome, thirty-something-year-old man stepped directly in front of me, blocking my line of sight to Terrance and that bitch. He was dressed in a very expensive suit and looked like he was probably making big bucks. Not that it mattered to me. He could’ve been Denzel Washington holding a suitcase full of money. The only thing that brother could do for me was move out of the way so I could see what that bitch was doing with my man. “Miss, can I buy you a drink?” he inquired again politely.
“No, I already have a drink,” I told him with hostility as I leaned to my right in an attempt to see around him. “Now, could you move out my way?”
“Well, do you mind if I sit down?” This guy just didn’t get the hint. I was about two seconds from cursing his ass out.
“I don’t care what you do.” I sighed. “I just want you to get out my way. Can’t you see I’m trying to look at something? Now move!”
I guess he got the message, because he finally walked away. When he did, I almost passed out, because neither Terrance nor that high-yellow bitch was anywhere to be found and that scared the hell out of me. The only thing that came to mind was that Terrance had taken her somewhere to fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking that way, but sometimes you’ve just got to face facts. Terrance was always horny and loved spontaneous sex. We’d done it everywhere and anywhere in the few months we’d been together. The freakier the situation, the more he seemed to like it. Now it looked like he’d taken that bitch into an alley, or perhaps the restaurant bathroom, and was doing to her what I’d expected to have done to me. I could feel the tears threatening to run down my face. Before then you couldn’t have paid me a million dollars to believe Terrance would do this to me. I lowered my head on the table and let the tears flow. Part of me wanted to get up and check the bathroom or the alley behind the restaurant, but I was scared of what I might find. How the hell could this be happening to me?
“Miss, you okay?”
Don’t ask me how long I had my head down, but when I looked up, the waitress was standing there.
“No, I’m not all right. Do I look all right to you?” I snapped.
“Look, I was just trying to help.” She started to walk away.
“Hey,” I called to her and she turned around. “I’m sorry. I just saw my boyfriend leave with another woman. I’m a little pissed, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, if you’re going to be pissed, that’s a good reason. These men are getting bolder and bolder these days.” I didn’t reply. I just sat up and wiped my eyes. “Hey, how about a drink on the house? You want another apple martini?”
“Can you bring me something strong? Real strong.” I lowered my eyes to the table again.
“Sure. How about a Long Island Iced Tea?”
“Yeah, that’ll work. Thanks.”
She walked away. When I finally looked up again, every muscle in my body tightened as I spotted the high-yellow bitch come from around the corner that separated the restaurant from the bar. That bitch had the nerve to be adjusting her ponytail as she headed in my direction. A vision of Terrance holding on to her ponytail as he screwed her from behind in a bathroom stall popped into my head and I became furious. The closer she got, the angrier I got. Oh, it was about to be on.
“Is your name Donna?” she asked rudely when she reached my table. She had the nerve to look like she was trying to hide a smirk behind a smile, and her body language was saying
Yeah, bitch, I just fucked your man and it was good
. I wondered if she was actually gonna have the nerve to speak those words to me. I held on tight to my purse, because if she said something smart, I was gonna beat her ass with it.
I stood quickly and was in her face. “Yeah, I’m Donna, bitch. Why?”
She took a step back as if she was surprised by my aggression.
“Your boyfriend asked me to give this to you.” She raised her hand and I lifted my purse in the air. If she made one wrong move, they were going to be picking her ass up off the floor.
“That’s right, bitch, he’s my boyfriend.
My man
,” I growled. I’m sorry but I couldn’t keep that shit in.
She took another step back, raising both her hands defensively. “Look, I don’t know what the problem is, but I’m just the hostess here. I’m not looking for trouble. Your boyfriend asked me to give you this note. I’m sorry. I would have given it to you earlier, but I had customers who had to be seated in the restaurant.” She waved her hand, and that’s when I noticed the folded paper in her hand.
“What’s this?” I snarled.
“I don’t know. He just asked me to give it to you.” She handed me the note. I felt stupid for jumping to conclusions once I saw my name written with hearts around it.
“Look, I’m sorry about the way I acted. I’m PMSing,” I lied.
“Whatever,” she replied, then walked away in a huff. That’s when I realized half the bar was staring at me and I’d just made a real ass out of myself. I sat down and unfolded the note.