The Price of Success (18 page)

He went on to list the other interviewers, but Sasha was only half listening. She’d finally worked out her period dates and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d had her last albeit brief period just before she’d left Leon. And her cycle was erratic at the best of times.

Reassured, she followed Tom around to the paddock and spoke to the journalists.

The race itself was uneventful. With her eight-second lead unchallenged after the first six laps she cruised to victory, securing the fastest lap ever set on the Interlagos circuit. She managed to keep a smile plastered on her face all through the celebrations and the myriad interviews that followed, sighing with relief as she entered the team’s hospitality suite for her last interview.

Despite having done dozens of interviews, she still suffered
an attack of nerves whenever a camera was trained on her. And, unlike nerves during a race, interview nerves never worked to her advantage.

‘Don’t worry, Miss Fleming. It will be all right.’

The note of insincerity in the interviewer’s thick accent should have been her first warning.

The first few questions were okay. Then, ‘How does it feel to be dating the team boss? Has it earned you any advantages?’

From the corner of her eye she saw Tom surge from his seat. Her ‘no comment’ made him relax a little.

‘After winning the Constructors’ Championship, surely your seat for next year is secured?’

‘No comment.’

He shrugged. ‘How about your ex, Derek Mahoney? Have you heard he’s making a comeback to racing?’

Sasha tensed. ‘No, I haven’t heard.’

‘He gave us an interview this morning. And he mentioned something quite interesting.’

Icy dread crept up her spine. ‘Whatever it is, I’m sure it has nothing to do with me.’

‘On the contrary, it has everything to do with you.’

Her interviewer rubbed his chin in a way that was probably supposed to make him appear smart. It only confirmed the slimeball he really was.

‘You see, Mr Mahoney claims you were pregnant with his child when you broke up, and that you deliberately crashed to lose the baby because you didn’t want a child to hamper your career. What’s your response to that?’

The room swayed around her. Vaguely she heard Tom shouting at the cameraman to stop filming. Inside she was frozen solid, too afraid to move. The buzz in the room grew louder. Someone grasped her arm and frogmarched her into another room. The sole occupant, a waitress cleaning a table, looked from her to the TV and quickly made herself scarce.

‘Sasha … I … God, this is a mess,’ Tom stuttered. ‘Will you be all right? I need to secure that footage …’

‘Please, go. I … I’ll be fine,’ she managed through frozen lips.

He hurriedly retreated and she was alone.

Dropping her head between her thighs, she tried to breathe evenly, desperately willing herself not to pass out. The TV hummed in the background but she didn’t have the strength to walk over to turn it off.

Oh, God, how had Derek found out? Not that it mattered now. Her secret was out. Out there for the whole world to pore over …

Tears welled in her eyes. Derek was all about causing maximum damage. But she’d never dreamed he’d sink this low.

The door flew open and Marco walked in.

Her gaze collided with his, and every single thing she’d told herself over the last three weeks flew out of the door.

He’d lost weight. The gap at the collar of his light blue shirt showed more of his collarbones and his jacket hung looser. But he was just as arresting, just as breathlessly beautiful, and her heart leapt with shameless joy at the sight of him.

‘I need to talk to you,’ he said tautly, his gaze roving intensely over her before capturing hers again.

She licked her dry lips. ‘I … I need to tell you …’ How could she tell him? She’d never vocalised her pain, never told another human being.

‘What is it?’ He came over and took her hands. ‘Whatever it is, tell me. I can handle it.’

That gave her a modicum of strength. ‘You promise?’

‘Sí
. I have a few things I need to tell you too,
mi corazón
. The things I said in Leon …’ He paused and shook his head, a look of regret in his eyes. ‘You were right. I’m an ass.’

‘I didn’t …’
I didn’t mean it
, she started to confess, but her eyes had strayed to the TV. There, like a vivid recurring nightmare, her interview was being replayed.

Seeing her distraction, Marco followed her gaze.

Just in time to hear the interviewer’s damning question.

Marco dropped her hands faster than hot coals and surged to his feet.
‘No!
It’s a lie. Isn’t it, Sasha?
Isn’t it?
’ he shouted when she couldn’t speak.

‘I …’

He paled, his cheekbones standing out against his stark face as he stepped back from her.

‘Marco, please—it wasn’t like that.’ She finally found her voice. But it was too late.

He’d taken several more steps backwards, as if he couldn’t stand to breathe the same air as her.

‘Did you race knowing you were pregnant?’ he insisted, his voice harsh.

‘Not the day Derek’s talking about—’

‘But you
did
race knowing you were pregnant?’

‘I suspected I was—’

‘Dios mío!’

‘I’d already lost the baby when I crashed. That was
why
I crashed! Racing was all I knew. After the doctor told me I’d lost the baby I didn’t know what else to do.’

‘So you got straight back in your car? You didn’t even take time to mourn the loss of your child?’ he condemned in chilling tones.

Somehow she found the strength to stand and face him. ‘The doctor said it wasn’t my fault. The pregnancy wasn’t viable to begin with. But I still cried myself to sleep every night for years afterwards. If you’re asking if I carry a picture of a scan to punish myself with, or as an excuse to push people away, then no, I don’t. She lives in my heart—’

“She?”
His voice was a tortured rasp, his fists clenching and unclenching and his throat working as he paled even more.

Tears spilled from her eyes and she nodded. ‘Mine was a girl too. She lives in my heart and that’s where I choose to remember her. You say you don’t live in the past, but that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re judging
me
by what happened to you ten years ago.’

He inhaled sharply. ‘And you’ve proved to me just how far you’ll go. I told you about Angelique, about my child, and you said nothing. Because a small thing like a lost pregnancy is less important to you than your next race, isn’t it?’

She swayed as pain clamped her chest in a crushing vice. ‘You know why I wanted to race!’

‘I was a fool to believe you were trying to preserve the memory of your father. You were really just seeking to further your own agenda.’

Pain arrowed through her. ‘Don’t pretend you don’t think he was guilty.’

‘I said he was
found
guilty. I didn’t say I agreed with the verdict.’

‘But—’

He slashed a hand through her words. ‘I had my lawyers investigate the case. Some of the testimony didn’t add up. If your father had spent less time feeling sorry for himself and more time getting his lawyers to concentrate on his case he’d have realised that. That’s one of the things I came here to tell you.’

Tears stung the backs of her eyes, her throat clogging with unspoken words. ‘Marco, please—can’t we talk about this?’

He gave a single, finite shake of his head. ‘I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I’m only grateful I never made you pregnant. I don’t think I could survive another child of mine being so viciously denied life for the sake of ruthless ambition.’

Her insides froze as his words cut across her skin.

With one last condemning look he headed towards the door.

Panic seized her. ‘Marco!’

He stilled but didn’t turn around, one hand on the doorknob.

‘What else did you come to say to me?’

The cold malice in his eyes when he turned around made her heart clench.

‘I sold the team six weeks ago. In Korea. The paperwork was finalised today. As of one hour ago your contract is null and void.’

S
HE
was pregnant with Marco’s child. Sasha had been certain of it almost as soon as Marco had walked out on her in São Paolo. Taking the pregnancy test once she’d returned home had only established what she’d known in her heart.

There was no doubt in her mind that she would tell him he was about to become a father. The only problem was when.

He’d made his feelings clear. Her own emotions were too raw for her to face another showdown with Marco. She doubted he would believe whatever she had to tell him anyway.

Gentle fingers stroked over her belly. The doctor had confirmed today that she was almost three months pregnant. Her fingers stilled. Angelique had terminated Marco’s child at three months. Sadness welled inside her as she recalled Marco’s face when he’d shown her his scan.

Making up her mind before she lost the courage, she dug out her phone. Her fingers shook as she pressed the numbers.

‘Sí?’
came the deep voice.

‘Marco, it’s me.’

Taut silence.

‘I know you don’t want to speak to me … but there’s something I need to tell you.’

‘I’m no longer in the motor racing business, so you’re wasting your time.’ The line went dead.

Sasha stared at the phone, anger and pain churning through her.
‘Ass.’

She threw the phone down, vowing to make Marco beg before she let him anywhere near his child.

Two days later Sasha was standing at her fridge stacking groceries when she heard the agonisingly familiar sound of helicopter rotorblades. The aircraft flew directly over her small cottage before landing in a field half a mile away.

Even though she forced herself to finish her task, every sense was attuned to the knock that came less than five minutes later.

Heart hammering, she opened her door to find Marco standing there, tall, dark and windswept.

‘You know you’ll have my neighbours dining out on your spectacular entrance for years, don’t you? What the hell are you doing here anyway? I recall you wanting nothing to do with me.’

Hazel eyes locked on hers, the look in them almost imploring. ‘Invite me in, Sasha.’

‘I don’t invite heartless bloodsuckers into my home. You can stay right where you are. Better yet, jump back into your vampire-mobile and leave.’

‘I’m not leaving until you hear what I have to say. I don’t care what your neighbours think, but I get the feeling
you
do. There’s a blue-haired one staring at us right now.’ Brazen, he waved at Mrs Miller, who shamelessly waved back and kept right on staring at them.

Firming her lips, Sasha stepped back and waved him in. ‘You think you’re very clever, don’t you?’

Expecting a quick comeback, she turned from shutting the door to find him staring at her, a tormented grimace on his face.

‘No, I don’t think I’m clever at all. In fact, right now, I’m the stupidest person I know.’

Her mouth dropped open.

His grimace deepened. ‘Yes, I know. Shocker.’

‘Marco …’ She stopped and finally did what she’d been dying to do since he knocked on her door. She let her eyes devour him. Let her heart delight in the sheer magnificent sight of him. He went straight to her head. Made her sway where she stood.

He stared right back at her, a plethora of emotions she was
too afraid to name passing over his face. He opened his mouth a couple of times but, seemingly losing his nerve to speak, cast his gaze around her small living room, over the pictures and racing knick-knacks she and her father had accumulated over the years.

Finally he dug into his jacket pocket. ‘This is for you.’

Sasha took the papers. ‘What are these?’

‘Signed affidavits from two former drivers who swear your father wasn’t involved in the fraud. He was the fall guy.’

Hands shaking, she read through the documents. ‘How …? Why …?’ Tears clogged her throat, making the words difficult to utter. Finally she could clear her father’s name.

‘The how doesn’t matter. The why is because you deserve to know.’

She didn’t realise she was crying until the first teardrop landed on her hand. Sucking in a sustaining breath, she swiped at her cheeks. ‘I … I really don’t know what to say. After what happened …’ She glanced down at the papers again and swallowed. ‘Thank you, Marco,’ she said huskily.

‘De nada,’
he replied hoarsely.

‘You didn’t have to deliver it in person, though.’

His watchful look intensified. ‘I didn’t. But I needed the excuse to see you.’

‘Why?’ she whispered, too afraid to hope.

He swallowed. ‘Rafael woke up—really woke up yesterday.’

Her heart lurched. ‘Is he okay?’

Marco nodded. ‘I went to see him this morning. He told me what happened in Budapest.’

Sasha sighed. ‘I know it was stupid, but I lost it when I found out what Rafael was doing.’

‘You mean deliberately using your friendship to make Raven jealous?’

She nodded. ‘I think she was smitten with Rafael when she first joined the team. That changed when she found out he’d dated most of the women in the paddock. She refused to have anything to do with him after that.’

Marco pursed his lips. ‘And he, of course, found it a challenge
when she kept refusing him. Why didn’t you tell me?’ he demanded.

‘You told me the significance of your mother’s ring. I didn’t think you needed to know Rafael was intending to use it to …’

‘Get lucky?’ He grimaced, then sobered. ‘He’s over that now, I think. He’s seems different—more … mature. I think the accident was a wake-up call for him.’

His eyes locked on her, their expression so bleak it broke her heart.

‘For me too. You were right.’

‘I was?’

He moved towards her suddenly. ‘Sí. I was living in the past. I knew it even before you left Leon. I knew it when I came to see you in São Paolo. Hearing Rafael tell me what I already knew—how great you are, how much of a friend you’d been to him …’ He stopped and swallowed. ‘Did I mention I’m the stupidest person I know right now?’

‘Um, you may have.’

‘What I said in São Paolo was unforgivable …’ His anxious gaze snared hers. ‘I was in shock, but I never should’ve said what I did. I’m sorry you lost your baby. I think you would’ve made a brilliant mother.’

‘You do?’

‘
Sí
. I saw how the Children of Bravery Awards affected you. You held it together despite your pain. Watching you on stage with the kids made me wish my child had had a mother like you. At least then she would’ve had a chance.’

Tears filled her eyes. ‘Oh, Marco …’ She could barely speak past the lump in her throat.

Another grimace slashed his face. ‘I’ve made you cry again.’ He sat next to her and gently brushed away her tears. ‘This wasn’t what I intended by coming here.’

‘Why did you come here, Marco?’

He sucked in a huge breath. ‘To tell you I love you. And to beg your forgiveness.’

‘You love me?’

He gave a jerky nod. ‘It ripped me apart to learn I’d had your
love and lost it because I’d been so stupid. When you called two days ago—’

‘When you hung up on me?’

‘I panicked. The hospital had just called about Rafael. I thought you knew and were calling to ask to see him.’ He frowned. ‘Why
did
you call?’

‘I had something to tell you. When you hung up on me I wrote a letter instead.’

‘A letter?’

‘Well, it was more like a list.’

She’d done it to stop herself from crying—something she couldn’t seem to stop doing lately.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled it out and held it towards him. ‘Here.’

He stared at the paper but didn’t take it, his face ashen. ‘Is forgiveness anywhere on that list, by any chance?’

Her gaze sharpened on him. ‘Forgiveness?’

‘Yes. Forgiveness of judgemental bastards who don’t know the special gift of love and beauty and goodness when it’s handed to them.’

‘Er …’ She glanced down at the list, her thundering heartbeat echoing loudly in her ears. ‘No. But then I’ve only had two days to work on it.’

Dropping down on his haunches, he cupped her face in his hands. ‘Then consider this a special request,
por favor
. I know I have a lot of grovelling to do for judging you harshly from the beginning.’

‘You were hurting. And you were right. I
was
acting out of guilt.’

‘No. You were doing whatever it took for you to move on—whereas I let one stumbling block shatter me. I resented you for that.’

‘The blows you were dealt were enough to knock anyone sideways.’

‘But I let it colour my judgement. I told myself I had recovered, that I didn’t care, but I did. Do you know that until you
came to Leon I hadn’t entered that garage in over ten years? You opened my eyes to what a barren life I’d led until then.’

‘Look at the letter, Marco.’

He inhaled sharply and stood. ‘No. If you’re going to condemn me I’d rather hear it from you.’

‘You might want to sit down.’

He stuffed his fingers into his coat pockets, but not before she caught the trembling of his hands.

‘Just tell me.’

‘Fine. But if you faint from shock don’t expect me to help you. You’re too big—’

When he made an incoherent sound racked with pain, she unfolded the paper.

Anxiety coursed through her. He’d said he loved her, but what if Marco truly didn’t want another child? What if the loss of his unborn child had been too great a pain for him ever to move on from?

‘Sasha,
por favor
.’

‘That’s the second time you’ve said please in the last five minutes,’ she whispered.

When his eyes grew dark, she read aloud.
‘“Marco, you were an ass for hanging up on me but I think you should know
—
’”
She looked up from the sheet.
‘“You’re going to become a father.”’

For a full minute he didn’t move. Didn’t breathe, didn’t blink. Then he stumbled into the chair. His hands visibly shook when he reached out and cupped her cheek. ‘Sasha. Please tell me this isn’t a dream,’ he rasped.

‘This isn’t a dream. I’m pregnant with your child.’

A look of complete reverence settled over his face before his eyes dropped to her still-flat stomach.

‘Are you okay? Is everything all right?’ he demanded.

‘You mean with the baby?’

‘With both of you.’

‘Yes. I saw the doctor. Everything is fine. Does that mean you want the baby?’

‘
Mi corazón
, you’ve given me a second chance I never would’ve been brave enough to take on my own. I may have
burned my bridges with you, but, yes, I want this baby.’ His eyes dropped to her stomach, and lingered.
‘Porfavor
, can I touch?’

Sweet surprise rocked through her. ‘You want to touch my belly?’

‘If you’ll allow me?’

‘You know the baby isn’t any larger than your thumb right now, don’t you?’

‘
Sí
, but my heart wants what it wants. Please?’

Renewed tears clogged her throat as she nodded and unbuttoned her jeans.

Warm fingers caressed her belly. Watching his face, she felt the breath snag in her chest at the sheer joy exhibited there. Then his eyes locked on hers and his fingers slid under her sweater, heating her bare flesh.

Her heart kicked, the fierce love she felt for this man and for her baby making her throat clog with tears. Reluctantly she withdrew from his seductive warmth. ‘Marco, I haven’t finished reading the letter.’

A look of uncertainty entered his eyes. ‘I know what a hard bargain you can drive. Is there any room for negotiation?’

‘You need to hear what’s in it first.’

He gave a reluctant nod, his joy fading a little.

‘“If it’s a boy I would like to name him after my father. One of his names, at least.”’

A quick nod met her request. ‘It will be so.’

‘“I want our child to be born in Spain. Preferably in Leon.”’

He swallowed hard. ‘Agreed.’

She looked up from the paper
. ‘“I’d like to stay there after the baby’s born. With you.”’

His eyes widened and he stopped breathing. ‘You want to stay in Leon? With me?’

Her heart in her throat, she nodded. ‘Our child deserves two parents who don’t live in separate countries.’

Disappointment fleeted over his face. ‘You’re right.’

‘Our child also deserves parents who love each other.’

Pain darkened his eyes. ‘I intend to do everything in my power to earn your love again, Sasha.’

She shrugged, her heart in her throat. ‘You’ll need to focus your energies on other things, Marco. Because I love you.’

He sucked in a breath. ‘You … love me …?’

‘Yes,’ she reiterated simply. ‘I knew in Leon, even though I’d convinced myself it wouldn’t work.’

‘I didn’t exactly make it easy. I felt my life unravelling and I got desperate.’

Shock rocked through her. ‘Was that why you sold the team?’

He grimaced. ‘Rafael’s accident and your near-collision in Korea convinced me it was time to get out of racing. But I managed to bulldoze my way through that too. I also may have left a tiny detail out regarding your firing.’

‘Oh?’

‘The sale contract included a stipulation that you were to have first refusal of the lead driver’s seat. If you wanted it.’

Lifting loving hands, she cradled his face. ‘Didn’t you read Tom’s press release last week?’

‘What press release?’

‘I’ve retired from motor racing.’

He frowned. ‘What about your promise to your father?’

‘He would’ve been proud that I helped you win the Constructors’ Championship. But what he really wanted was for me to be happy.’

‘And are you?’

‘Tell me you love me again and I’ll let you know.’

‘I am deeply, insanely in love with you, Sasha Fleming, and I can’t wait to make you mine.’

She flung the letter away and slid her arms around his neck. ‘Then, yes, I’m ecstatically happy.’