The Priest: Aaron (24 page)

“Blessings on you, Moses! May you be praised, Aaron!”

Moses stood apart from them, staff in hand, head high, watching.

Aaron cupped his hands and drank with the people. Aaron blushed with pleasure as people called out praise to him and Moses. The water continued to flow and the Israelites brought their flocks and herds to drink. And still the water came. Never had water tasted so good. He wiped the droplets from his beard and grinned at Moses. “They do not doubt us now, do they, my brother?”

Because you did not trust Me enough to demonstrate My holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!

God spoke softly, but with a finality that made Aaron’s blood go cold. The curse of the Levites was on him. He had lost his temper and given in to pride. He had forgotten the Lord’s command.
Command the rock.
No, that wasn’t true. He hadn’t forgotten. He had wanted Moses to use his staff. He had cheered when water gushed from the rock. He had been proud and delighted when the people slapped him on the back.

How quickly he had fallen headlong into sin. And now, he would pay the consequences just like the rest of his generation, even Miriam who had repented and served others with gladness for almost forty years! He would not set foot in the land God had promised the Israelites either. Miriam had died, and now he would die, too.

Aaron sank down and sat on a boulder, shoulders slumped, hands limp between his knees. What hope had he of ever being any different than what he was: a sinner. Pride, Miriam had said. Pride slays men. Pride strips men of a future and a hope. He covered his face. “I have sinned against the Lord.”

“As have I.”

Aaron glanced up. His brother’s face was ashen. He was bent like an old man, leaning heavily on the staff. “Not as I have sinned, Moses. You have always praised the Lord and credited Him with all righteousness.”

“Not today. I allowed anger to rule me. Pride made me stumble. And now, I too will die on this side of the Jordan River. The Lord has told me that I will not enter the land He promised.”

“No.” Aaron wept. “I am more to blame than you, Moses. I cried out for you to give us water as loudly as any of them. It is right that I be denied a land of my own. I am a sinner.”

“Sin is sin, Aaron. Let’s not get into a quarrel over who has outdone the other in that regard. We are all sinners. It is but for the grace of God that we live and breathe at all.”

“You are the one God chose to deliver Israel!”

“Do not let your love for me blind you, my brother.
God
is our deliverer.”

Aaron held his head. “Let your one mistake be on my head. Wasn’t I the one who fashioned the molten calf and let the people run wild? Did I not try to steal some of your praise just now?”

“We both stole glory from God, who gave the water. All I had to do was speak to the rock. And what did I do but make a show for their benefit? And why else but to gain their attention, rather than remind them God is their provider.”

“You have been telling them that for years, Moses.”

“It needed to be said again.” Moses sat beside him on the boulder. “Aaron, are we not each responsible for our own sins? The Lord chastens me because I didn’t trust Him. The people need to trust in Him, only in Him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“The Lord called me to stand beside you, to help you. And what help have I been over the years? If I were a better man, a better priest, I would have realized the temptation. I would have warned you.”

Moses sighed. “I lost my temper, Aaron. I didn’t forget what the Lord commanded. I didn’t think speaking would be . . . impressive enough.” His fingers tightened on Aaron’s knee. “We must not be discouraged, Aaron. Doesn’t a father discipline a son in order to train him up in the way he should go?”

“And where will we go now, Moses? God has said we will never set foot in the Promised Land. What hope have we?”

“God is our hope.”

Aaron could not stop his tears. His throat ached. His chest heaved.
Oh, God, I’ve failed You and my brother yet again. Was I destined to stumble through life? Oh, Lord, Lord, surely, of all men, Moses has been the most humble. Surely he deserves to cross the Jordan River and walk in the pastures of Canaan, even if only for a day.

I understand why You are keeping me out. I deserve to remain in the desert. I deserved death for making that detestable golden calf! Am I not reminded of it every time I sacrifice a bullock? But, oh, Lord, my brother has been Your faithful servant. He loves You. No man is more humble than my brother.

Let the blame fall on me for being such a fool and being so weak a priest that I failed to see sin when it crouched ready to kill our hopes and dreams
.

Be silent, and know that I am God!

Aaron swallowed hard, fear coursing through him. It would do no good to beg or argue. And he knew the rest as though spoken into his heart. The people had to know the cost of sin. In the eyes of God, all men and women were equal. Aaron was without excuse. And so was Moses.

Only God is holy and to be praised.

They returned together to the Tabernacle. Moses went inside and Aaron stood outside the veil, his heart heavy. He could hear Moses speaking softly, his words indistinct, his anguish clear. Aaron bowed his head, the pain in his chest suffocating.

My fault, Lord. My fault. What kind of high priest am I who fails at every turn of life and cannot see sin when it stands before him? Forgive me, Lord. My sins are ever before me. I have done what is evil in Your sight. You have judged me justly. Oh, if only You would purify me so that I could be clean like a newborn child. If only You would wash me clean of my sins and make me hear with renewed joy the promise of Your salvation
!

He wiped his tears away quickly lest they fall on the chestpiece of his priestly garment.
I must be clean. I must be clean!

Oh, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God of all creation. How will I ever be clean, Lord? I am clean on the outside, but inside I feel like a grave of old bones. I am full of sin. And it poured over today, as from a fouled pot. Even when I offer the atonement sacrifice, I feel the sin in me. I fight against it, Lord, but it is still there
.

Aaron heard Moses weeping. God had not changed His mind. The Promised Land was lost to both of them. Aaron covered his face, heartbroken.

Moses! Poor Moses.

Oh, God, hear my prayer. If You see me weaken, don’t let me succumb to sin again or cause trouble for my brother. Don’t let me stand up in pride and lead the people astray. Oh, God, I would rather You took my life than I give in to sin again!

Moses sent messengers to the king of Edom requesting permission to cross his land in order to lessen the distance to Canaan. Moses promised that the Israelites would not go through any field or vineyard, or drink water from any well. They would turn neither to the right nor to the left until they reached the trade route called the King’s Highway.

The king of Edom answered that he would not give permission, and if the Israelites tried to cross his land, he would march out and attack them with the sword. Moses sent messengers again with assurances that they would only go along the main road and would pay for any water their animals might need. Again, the king of Edom denied them passage and came out with a large army to make sure no attempt was made to cross his land.

The cloud moved from Kadesh, and Moses followed the Angel of the Lord along the boundary of Edom toward Mount Hor. Aaron walked beside his brother, desolate. When they camped, he performed the evening sacrifice. Depressed, he returned to his tent and carefully removed his priestly garments. Then he sat in the doorway and stared out. All day, while walking, he had felt the barrenness of the land around him. And now, sitting here, he remembered the fields of wheat in Egypt, the barley, the green pasturelands of Goshen.

We were slaves,
he reminded himself. He thought about the taskmasters. He tried to remember how many times he had felt the lash on his back, and the heat of the desert sun beating down on him.

And the green . . . the smell of water filled with silt washing along the banks of the Nile . . . the ibises tipping their beaks in and drawing out fish . . .

Raising his head weakly, he looked up at the pillar of fire.
God, help me. Help me
.

And he heard the Voice again, soft yet firm.

Aaron waited all night and then rose in the morning and put on his priestly garments. He went to the Tabernacle, washed, and performed the morning sacrifice as usual. And then Moses came to him, Eleazar at his side. Moses took a slow breath, but could not speak. Eleazar looked perplexed.

Aaron put his hand out and gripped his brother’s arm. “I know, Moses. The Lord spoke to me, too. Yesterday, at sunset.”

Eleazar looked between them. “What has happened?”

Aaron looked at his son. “We are to go up Mount Hor.”

“When?”

“Now.” Aaron was thankful his son did not ask why. Nor did he ask that they postpone the journey until the cool of the evening. Eleazar simply started out toward the foot of the mountain.

Maybe there was hope for Israel after all.

The climb was difficult, for there was only a narrow pathway between and around rugged rock outcroppings. Up, up Aaron climbed until he was exhausted and every muscle in his body ached. He kept putting one foot in front of the other, praying the Lord would give him strength. It would be the first time the Lord had called him to the top of a mountain. And the last.

After long hours of travail, he reached the top. His heart was pounding heavily, his lungs burning. He felt more alive than he ever had before as he stretched out trembling hands and gave thanks to God. The cloud pressed in and rose, turning from gray to orange-gold, then flashing red. Aaron felt warmth course through him and then dissipate, leaving him weak. He knew if he sat down, he would never rise again, and he needed to stand a little longer.

So he stood alone for the first time in years and looked at the plain below, speckled with thousands of tents. Each tribe had its position, and in the center was the Tabernacle. Flocks of sheep and herds of cattle grazed on the outer edges of the camp, and the vastness of the wilderness spread out before him.

Eleazar helped Moses up the last few feet, and then the three stood together, gazing out over Israel. “You need to rest, Father.”

“I will.”
Forever
.

Moses looked at him and still could not speak. Aaron went to him and embraced him. Moses’ shoulders shook and Aaron held him tighter and spoke softly. “Oh, my brother, I wish I had been a better and stronger man to stand at your side.”

Moses did not let go of him. “The Lord sees our faults, Aaron. He sees our failures and frailty. But what matters to Him is our faith. We have both stumbled, my brother. We have both fallen. And the Lord has lifted us back up with the strength of His mighty hand and remained with us.” He drew back slowly.

Aaron smiled. Never had he loved and respected a man as much as he did his younger brother. “It is not our faith, Moses, but God’s faithfulness.”

“What’s going on?”

Aaron turned to his son. “The Lord has said the time has come for me to join my ancestors in death.”

Eleazar flinched, his eyes darting from Aaron to his uncle. “What does he mean?”

“Your father is to die here on Mount Hor.”

“No!”

Aaron felt the hair stand on the back of his neck. “Yes, Eleazar.” He could see already the seed of rebellion in his son’s eyes.

“This can’t be.”

“Do not question the Lord—”

“You have to go with us into Canaan, Father!” His eyes filled with angry tears of confusion. “You have to come!”

“Be silent!”
Aaron gripped his son’s arms. “It is for the Lord to say when a man lives or dies.”
Oh, God, forgive him. Please.
He gentled. “The Lord has shown me more kindness than I deserve. He has allowed you to come and attend me.” He would not die surrounded by all the members of his family as so many did. But he would not die alone.