The Prince of Punk Rock (59 page)

Eight unanswered calls.
 
Eight new voicemails.
 
She was successful at hiding the truth about
Tommy and Angel and their relationship from her parents, but early this morning
Maggie called to warn her of their parents’ enlightenment.
 
Jessi knew she should have told them a long
time ago, but her parents lived in a cocoon, sheltered from the media and she
thought she could hide it from them until she worked up the strength to handle
their judgment and reproach.

“Who keeps calling you?”
 
Tommy tried to look at her phone, but she
pulled it away.

“It’s not important.”

“If it’s not important, why do they
keep calling?”

This time it was Tommy’s phone that
chimed.
 
“Why is your mother calling me?”

Jessi snatched the phone out of his
hand before he could answer it.

“Why are you avoiding your mother?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep
breath.
 
“I’m sorry, Tommy.” She tried to
figure out a way to make him understand.
 
“I haven’t exactly been telling you the truth.”
 
Another deep sigh.
 
“I haven’t been entirely honest.”

“Jessi, what the fuck is going on?”

“I never told my parents about
Angel.”

His eyes fired at her.
 
“You said you told them!”

“Not really.”
 
She wrung her hands. “I just
implied
that I told them.
 
I’m really sorry,
baby.”

“I don’t understand.
 
Why didn’t you tell them?”

“Because, I was afraid of their
reaction.”

“You mean you’re embarrassed.
 
After all the shit you always gave me for
caring about what other people think, you’re the one who couldn’t tell your
parents.”

Angel leaned closer to them.
 
“Maybe we should discuss this in our room.”

Jessi didn’t care that everyone was
listening.
 
She only cared that Tommy was
disappointed in her.
 
When she made no
move to continue the conversation in private, Angel slid in the booth next to
her.

“Why didn’t you tell your parents,
sweetheart?
 
Tommy’s parents were
accepting.
 
His father’s still not
exactly warm and fuzzy towards me, but it gets better every time I see him.”

“It’s different.
 
Tommy’s their son.
 
They had no choice.”

“Your parents will feel the same
way.
 
You’re their daughter.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.
It’s Tommy.
 
And you.
 
My parents are so different than yours,
Angel.
 
Even Tommy’s conservative parents
are so much more liberal than mine.
 
I
know I should have told them, but whenever I talk to them, they’re on my back
about something or other.
  
And they’re
always harassing me about going back to FIT and getting my degree.
 
They don’t recognize that I got this great
position with Falcon Records.
 
They don’t
understand that I don’t need my degree. I have a job designing merchandise for
the band.
 
I have my own line of custom
made guitar straps that I’m trying to get off the ground.
 
They don’t see any of that.
 
They think I’m just a gopher for the band and
that the only reason I got hired was because I’m Tommy’s wife.
 
I couldn’t handle another lecture on the mess
I made of my life.”

“You’re life isn’t a mess,” Tommy
said.
 
He was adamant.

“According to them it is.
 
I dropped out of a prestigious college and
threw away a chance at becoming a famous designer.”

“Why don’t you go back to FIT then,
and get your degree?
 
I know your want
to.”

“And who’s going to assist the
band?”

“I don’t know.
 
Maybe Alyssa can do it or Marissa can hire
someone.”

“Do you hear yourself, Tommy?
 
No one else is taking care of the band.
 
That’s
my
job.”

“I think you’re getting a little
off track here,” Angel said.
 
“You need
to talk to your parents.
 
Do you want us
to fly down to
Florida
in a few days?
  
We have another day off
coming up.”

She shook her head.
 
She knew she had to deal with her parents,
but she had no intention of allowing them to unleash their wrath on Tommy or
Angel.

Jessi knew she should have called
her parents this morning instead of letting them fester all day long, but she
didn’t want to ruin everyone’s day off.
 
Or maybe she was just stalling and putting off the inevitable wretched
confrontation.

The bus was parked in a rest stop
off a three lane highway.
 
The sun was
setting and there was an evening chill in the air.
 
She grabbed her sweatshirt before she left
the bus and pulled the hood over her head, so no one spotted her hair.
 
Even if no one recognized her, she wanted to
attract as little attention as possible.
 
She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans and walked to the
far end of the parking lot.
 
She passed
transients filling up their gas tanks, parents bringing their restless children
into the food complex and pet owners taking their dogs on a much needed
bathroom break.
 
She stopped at the
entrance ramp that led back to the highway. The noise of the traffic would
provide a buffer in case she ended up in a screaming match with her
parents.
 
Every time she talked to them
they always reduced her to a 13 year old girl, rebelling for her independence.

The instant she turned her phone
on, it rang.

“Don’t say anything, Mom.
 
Let me explain first.”

“Explain?
 
There’s nothing to explain!
 
I saw everything on the television!
 
Tommy kissing that singer in his band, and
you were kissing that queer too!”

She clenched her teeth. “Don’t call
him that.”

Her father’s voice boomed into the
phone.
 
“What the hell are you doing with
your life?”
 
Both of them were on the
phone, so they could berate her at the same time.
 
Her parents were probably the only people
left on the planet who still had land lines.

“Dad, I know it’s not something
you’re used to seeing, but—”

“But nothing!
 
Divorce that faggot husband of yours and let
him and that queer spend the rest of their lives together.
 
Don’t let them poison you with their filth.”

“Filth?”
 
The blood surged through her veins, but she
tried to remain calm.
 
She reminded
herself that her parents were old fashioned and out of touch with today’s
world. “We love each other.
 
There’s
nothing filthy about love.
 
Didn’t you
see how much we genuinely care about each other in the interview?”

“What interview?” her mother
asked.
 
“We only saw the newsman showing
clips of the three of you and he said that you were in a poly, poly-something,
relationship.”

“Polyamorous.
 
It means—”

“We know what it means!”
  
Her father’s voice boomed through the phone.

They didn’t see the loving
interview on the cable talk show.
 
That’s
why they didn’t understand.
 
The news
probably painted an ugly picture.
 
“You’ll understand if you watch the interview we did for–”

“We’re not watching anything!
 
We didn’t raise you to be some whore tramping
around a tour bus sleeping with the whole band!”

“I’m not sleeping with the band,
Dad!
 
I’m only sleeping with my husband!
He just happens to be bisexual and—”

“I don’t want to hear any more of
this nonsense!”

“Your father’s right.
 
You’re an embarrassment to this family.
 
We’re so ashamed of you!”

Anger unleashed hot tears on her
cheeks.
 
“How can you say that to
me?
 
How dare you call me a whore?
 
I’m your daughter!”

“You make the wrong decisions.
 
Decisions that affect other people.
 
How can your mother and I walk down the
street and face our neighbors when they know that our daughter is sleeping with
a bunch of fags?”

“Oh my God! You’re
horrible
people!
 
I’m embarrassed of
you
!
 
You’re not my family!
 
Tommy and Angel are my family!
 
And Ella and Maggie!
 
Not you people who only know how to hate and
judge things you don’t know anything about!
 
How dare you say such terrible things about Tommy? And about Angel, who
you never met!
 
I . . . I don’t ever want
to speak to you again!”

She threw her phone onto the ground
and collapsed to her knees.
 
She buried
her head in her hands and pulled at her hair.
 
She sobbed into her hands until her gut ached from retching.
 
Someone touched her shoulder and she
jumped.
 
It was Jimmy.

“Are you alright?”

She shook her head.
 
“No. I’m not.
 
Did Tommy send you out here to look for me?”

“No. I was in the mini-mart.
 
I heard you yelling and then saw you
crying.
 
I’m … I’m sorry, Jess.”

Out of everyone on the bus, it had
to be Jimmy who witnessed her meltdown.
 
It’s not that he was insensitive.
 
It’s just that he wasn’t someone who had close personal relationships.
 
He was with a different girl every night and
never showed an attachment to anything except the band.
 
She didn’t know which one of them felt more
uncomfortable. She wondered how much he heard, how much everyone in the parking
lot, heard.
 
People were gawking at her
as the walked by.

She wiped her face with the sleeves
of her sweatshirt, smearing black eyeliner and salted tears across her
cheeks.
 
She straightened her back and
hacked the last sob from her throat.
 
She
scratched her face raw with the cuffs of her sweatshirt, even though she knew
she’d never be able to hide that she’d been crying.

She found her phone in the
grass.
 
The glass was scratched, but it
wasn’t broken, and it missed the pile of dog poop it landed next to.
  
She pulled the hood down over her face a
little more and kept her head down as she walked back to the bus, with Jimmy’s
arm on her shoulder.

She ignored Tommy and Angel and
went straight to their private bathroom.
 
She had streaks down her face and her eyes were blood red.
 
The cool water felt soothing on her swollen
eyes, but nothing would ease the emotional abandonment of her parents.
 
She told herself it didn’t matter anymore.
 
She took a deep breath and put her shoulders
back.
 
She stood tall and held her head
up.
 
She stared at herself in the mirror
and projected an air of self confidence.

She knew Tommy and Angel would be
waiting for her as soon as she opened the door.
 
Tommy wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
 
She almost crumpled at his embrace, but
locked her knees before they buckled.

Angel’s arms circled her from
behind and his lips touched the back of her head.
 
“Are you OK, sweetheart?”

She loved when they held her like
that.
 
She was crushed that her parents
couldn’t support her, or at least make an attempt to understand her, but in the
arms of Tommy and Angel, her strength and dignity were restored.
 
This wasn’t the life she chose.
 
It was the life that chose her.

One deep swallow digested the
unjust humiliation she suffered at her parent’s rant.
 
“I’m fine.”

Tommy looked deep into her
eyes.
 
“You’re not fine, hon. What did
they say?”