The Prince She Had to Marry (16 page)

“I won’t turn away from you.” He said the words and then wondered at them. Somehow, even though he meant them, they seemed...not quite true. She’d given him hope again, made him see that there might still be a good and productive life ahead for him. But now that the fog of self-blame and numbness had cleared, he saw not only what might be for them, as a woman and a man, a wife and her husband, a queen and her prince. He also saw what he
hadn’t
done, the promises he hadn’t kept. He had to fulfill those promises before he could give himself completely to the future, to Lili, and to their child.

She said, “You won’t mind so much, then, being my consort, being the husband of a queen?”

“No, Lili, I won’t mind that at all. It’s become something of a habit for me—to be married to you. A good habit. One I’m finding I don’t want to give up.”

She caught his fingers, opened them, pressed them against her cool, velvety cheek and then turned her head a little so she could kiss the center of his palm. “Thank you. I needed to hear that. It’s been...like a miracle for me. Our disaster of marriage somehow turning into the kind of union I’ve dreamed of my whole life long. I love you, Alex.”

He wanted to answer in kind, but he knew he had yet to earn the right to speak to her of love. So he kissed her instead, a long kiss that, as always with Lili, only left him wanting more.

* * *

At the airport in Dubrovnik, Leo wanted Lili to return to Alagonia with him. She hugged him and kissed him again and said that she and Alex would be home to see him soon. But for now, she was going to Montedoro with her husband.

Surprisingly, Leo didn’t argue or bluster or insist she do things the way he wanted them done. He kissed her again and told her he loved her. He even shook Alex’s hand and commanded him to “Take good care of my little love.”

Alex promised that he would. Leo boarded his royal jet with only his attendants for company. A few minutes later, Alex and Lili were taking seats in the plane with his mother and father.

They spent the flight telling his parents all about the island, about the stone house and the little goat and the Cadillac in the shed. And about their inadvertent rescuer, Jack Spanner.

Actually, Lili did most of the talking. Alex sat back and listened. He admired the way she made a great story of it—a great story with a happy ending, which was the only kind of story of which his wife approved.

They were mobbed at Nice airport. There were photographers everywhere, clicking away, and reporters shouting questions. He put his arm around Lili, keeping her close at his side, while his men did their best to push the crowds back a little.

In the end, they gave in and answered a good number of the reporters’ questions. Why not get it over with? The airport mob scene saved them the necessity of sitting through a formal press conference later.

They took a limousine to Montedoro, a convertible, with his men providing security in two other cars, one leading the way and the other behind. As they neared the Prince’s Palace, his mother ordered the top put down. Crowds lined the streets. Lili and Alex waved and smiled as the people cheered their safe return.

Inside the palace, once they’d been greeted by the staff, the doctors were waiting. Alex got a cursory once-over and was quickly declared none the worse for wear. Lili’s exam took a little longer. But in the end, the diagnosis was the same. Lili and the baby got a clean bill of health, too.

Later, there was a family dinner in his mother and father’s private apartment. It was good, Alex thought, to be with his family again, to have Lili sitting next to him, safe and sound.

Each of his brothers took him aside and said how good it was to have him back in the family. He knew they meant in more ways than simply his safe return from the island. They were glad to see him finally truly coming back from the bad years in Afghanistan. His sisters made much of him—and of Lili. They were hugged and kissed and exclaimed over repeatedly.

There was a time when all the attention would have had him running for his rooms, to lock the door, to be alone. But not anymore. He could hold up under the assault of kisses and hugs just fine. He could even give out a few hugs of his own.

It was late when he and Lili finally retired to their palace apartment. Rufus, his loyal longtime retainer, was there, waiting. He welcomed them home—and then left them alone.

He held out his arms to Lili. She came to him, kissed him, a kiss so slow and perfect and sweet.

When he lifted his head at last, she asked him dreamily, “Could it be?”

“Could what be?”

“Everything. All of it. You. Me. Happiness. The two of us sharing that big bed in the other room at last?”

He asked, “Will you give me a chance to make up for our wedding night?”

She laughed. “Oh, that was awful. You, rolling in the door naked, telling me good-night—and then walking right out again.”

“I’m sorry. I do mean that.”

“I know that you do, that you
are
.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

“You already have—a week ago, in a creaky little bed in a plain stone house on our own private island.” She slid a hand up to clasp his nape. He felt her gentle fingers in his hair. “However, if you would like to show me again how very happy you are to be with me...”

He took her hand from around his neck and guided it downward. She understood his intent without further coaching and traced a slow, naughty finger down the center of his chest, to his waist. And lower. He tried not to groan as she cupped her hand over him.

“I
am
happy,” he said roughly.

“Oh, yes. I
feel
that you are.” She chuckled, a sound that promised all manner of earthly delights.

He couldn’t wait any longer. He scooped her high in his arms and carried her into the other room, the bedroom that had once been his, and then become hers and was now, at last,
theirs
in the truest sense of the word.

When he put her down on the turned-back bed, she looked up at him trustingly. “Oh, Alex. At last.”

He lowered his lips to hers. She pulled him down onto the sheets with her. They shared an endless kiss.

After which he began the delightful business of undressing her. He unwrapped her slowly, like the precious gift she was. And then he touched her, caressing her until she moved, sighing, beneath his hand. When she shattered, he watched her face, drinking in the sight of her, the beauty of her, the open, giving sweetness of her.

“You have too many clothes on,” she complained a few moments later. “We need to do something about that.”

So she did. She undressed him, unbuttoning all the buttons, slipping off the sleeves, pulling down his trousers, getting rid of his shoes, getting rid of everything until they were both naked.

Together.

And then she reached for him. She took him into her, so deep and good and right, wrapping her arms and legs around him. He braced up on his elbows and watched her angel’s face again as she moved beneath him, taking him higher.

Happiness
. This was happiness. Happiness, which all his life, even before his capture and imprisonment, had eluded him. Until now.

Until, at last, he’d surrendered to Lili. Until he’d let her into his heart.

She gave him everything. He could never repay her.

And she was not going to be happy with him when he told her that now that they had finally found each other in the truest sense, he was going to have to leave her again.

Chapter Thirteen

L
ili woke to a wedge of sunlight peeking through the heavy curtains, falling across the bed.

Daylight, she thought, still half in dreamland.
We were rescued. We’re at the Prince’s Palace
....

She yawned and stretched out her hand to the other side of the giant bed, reaching for Alex.

He wasn’t there.

Blinking sleep away, she sat up. “Alex?” And then she saw him, fully dressed in jeans, boots and a black knit shirt that clung so lovingly to the beautiful musculature of his chest. He sat in the wing chair by the window. “Alex...” She smiled at him. “What time...” She looked at the bedside clock as she started to ask. “Oh, my. Past eleven. I slept and slept.”

“I’ve been waiting. I didn’t want to wake you. You’ve had a rough time of it. The baby. The island. Me, most of all.” He seemed so serious. His eyes spoke of his deep regard for her. And yet...

She knew something was happening here. Something she was not going to like. “What is it, Alex?”

“Lili...” His eyes. Yes. There was something about his eyes. The amber warmth had gone from them, leaving them so dark. Determined.

“Tell me,” she commanded. “I mean it. What are you up to now?”

He didn’t answer for a moment, only looked at her long and hard. And then finally he confessed, “I have to go away.”

Her heart felt like it had somehow got stuck in a tightening vise. “Go away? No, that can’t be. We’ve only just—”

He raised a hand, palm out. “I know. Believe me, I know. And I’m sorry. But I have...unfinished business, a responsibility I’ve let wait much too long while I sat in these rooms and wished I might die. I didn’t die. Because of you, I lived. And now I have promises to keep.”

What about your promise to me?
And suddenly she knew. “Afghanistan. Your kidnappers. You can’t really mean to go back there, go after them?”

He actually smiled, a dangerous, cool sort of smile. She was dead certain he was planning some murderous revenge. But then he said, “No, I leave them to heaven. And the consequences of their choices. Street thugs in Kabul tend to lead very short lives anyway. As do incompetent, sadistic al Qaeda sympathizers in the White Mountains.”

“Not revenge...” A sigh of pure relief escaped her.

“No, not revenge.”

“Then what is it, Alex?
What?
”

“Please try and understand....”

“How can I understand? I have no idea what you’re planning.”

“Devon’s parents are still alive,” he said. “Or they were, four and a half years ago. I have to go to them. And he had three brothers and four sisters. I owe each one of them a visit, and a helping hand should they need one.”

The vise around her heart loosened a fraction. Of course. He would feel responsible. She could understand that completely. “Ah. Well, all right, then. They’re all in America?”

“I believe so. It may take some looking, but I will find them.”

“Well, then...” She tried a smile. It only trembled a little. “A trip to the States.”

“Yes.”

“We can go right away.” She started to push back the covers.

He raised that hand again. “Lili, no.”

She sank back to the pillows. “What are you telling me?”

“I need to do this alone.”

Her heart rebelled. She whispered, “Alone?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know how long it will take, how I’ll be...received.”

“It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Or how his family reacts to you. I want to be there with you. I want to—”

“No, it’s my duty and I will fulfill it. You’ve been through enough on my account. And there’s the baby to think of.”

“Alex, it’s a trip to America, not an expedition into the wild. I can go with you. I
want
to go with you.”

“No, I have to do it alone.”

“But why?”

“Because...that’s how it has to be. How I want it.” He rose from the chair, so tall and strong and sternly handsome. And so completely determined to leave her.

To go somewhere in America, to be there for God only knew how long.

Her mouth felt desert-dry. She swallowed with effort, repeated too softly, “How
you
want it...”

He approached her. “Lili...”

She put up a hand. “Just...stay where you are. Oh, I am so very angry with you.”

He hung his big head. “I knew you would be.”

“Don’t you see? We need to be together now—you and me, the baby. We’re a
family
now.”

“Yes, we are.” He dared another step. “And we will be together. I swear it. As soon as I’ve done what I need to do.”

She longed to grab the bedside clock and hurl it at his thick head. But instead, she fisted her hands and pressed them against her belly where their innocent child slept.

Why alone?
Her heart cried.
Just tell me why you have to go alone. Why I can’t go with you?

She closed her mouth around the desperate questions. She reminded herself that of course he felt responsible for Devon’s loved ones, that it was a good thing, an important step for him to go to Devon’s people, to make testimony of what he knew of his friend’s last years of life, to offer Devon’s family his help, his support. She could even see, objectively, that he felt it was
his
responsibility and his alone, that it was something he had to accomplish on his own.

It was only, well, was this it, then? Was this their happily ever after? Alex saying goodbye and leaving for America to do what he “had to do”?

Was this what their life would be? Alex leaving. Lili left behind.

She had come to believe that he loved her, truly. In a deep, respectful, steady and also deliciously passionate way. Even if he hadn’t ever managed to actually say the words.

She had
believed
. In him. In their love. After all he had put her through, she had honestly believed that they had made it work, that they were bonded together in the truest way, at last.

And now?

She didn’t know what to believe now. She remembered her doubts, in their stateroom, on the
Princess Royale
the day before. She had told him straight out that she couldn’t bear it if he turned away from her now.

He had promised that he wouldn’t.

But what was this—his leaving her now? What was it if not turning away?

“Lili...” He said her name so tenderly. And he took the remaining steps to reach her, to bend close to her there alone in the big bed. “Lili, please...” His warm breath stirred her tangled hair. He smelled so clean and good, like everything she longed for—everything he’d seemed to give her. But now seemed bound and determined to take away all over again.

He brushed his tempting lips across her cheek. Her body ached to hold him. To be held by him.

“Just this. And that’s all.” He breathed the words against her skin. “Let me finish it. I need to finish it. Let me do what I can for the people Devon loved. And then, I swear to you, I will be the man you need me to be.”

What else was there for her to do?

She turned toward him, accepted his tender kiss. She swallowed the tears of hurt and anger that pressed against the back of her throat. She made her mouth form something resembling a smile. “Stay safe.”

He whispered her name again. Kissed her one last time. And then he was rising, turning away, striding toward the door. She pressed her lips together, ground her teeth.

She did not call him back.

After all, she had known him all her life. She knew that dark look she’d seen in his eyes. There would be no stopping him now. He was going.

And he was going alone.