“I’m sorry,” she said, then she turned and rushed out of the garden before they could see she was crying. As the tears fell so did the rain. Once again there were dark clouds over the mountains and thunder boomed and echoed against the tall peaks.
Vittorio was waiting in the car. She ran through the rain, dodging the fast-falling drops. She thanked him for waiting. He was tight-lipped and silent. He’d said it all. He wanted her to stay. But he wouldn’t say the words she wanted to hear. Wouldn’t say them because he didn’t know them.
“Where will you go?” he asked as the windshield wipers sped up in an effort to keep up with the rain outside. He pulled up at the fairy building and turned to face her. His expression was almost identical to the one he’d greeted her with the day she arrived. Angry, wary, careful and controlled.
“Back to California,” she said. But first to Rome. I want to see everything I can before I go.”
“The Sistine Ceiling, the Forum, the Coliseum…”
She nodded.
“By yourself?”
“I know what you’re asking. Am I running away with someone? No, Vittorio, I am not. I’m not Maddelena. Most women are not like her. It’s time for you to get over her. When most women give their word they keep it. When I fall in love, I give my heart and it’s forever.”
“Then you’re running away from someone, aren’t you? You’re running away from me. Why?” He glared at her, daring her to tell him the truth.
Why? Because you won’t marry me.
She couldn’t take any more of his questions, of the intense look in his eyes, the probing way he was staring at her. She’d been strong. She hadn’t changed her mind though every fiber of her being wanted to tell him she’d stay. That it didn’t matter what her position was, she loved him and that’s all that counted. She hated leaving him, his house and his daughters. But she had no choice. Not if she wanted to keep her sanity, her soul and her psyche intact. Before she changed her mind, she grabbed her suitcase from the back seat and jumped out of the car and ran through the rain to the building to buy her ticket. There was no time to wave, no need to say good-bye, and when she looked out, he was gone.
Vittorio drove slowly back to his house. Streaks of lightning split the sky and thunder crashed all around him. The weather matched his mood. He was furious. Angry at himself and at her. He’d made a mistake again. He’d trusted a woman. He’d offered her a home and a job. She liked his children and she seemed to like him if this weekend was any indication. He’d done everything he could to convince her to stay. She’d turned him down flat. If she wanted marriage, she knew better than to ask. He couldn’t take a chance on marriage. Not again. Not after what happened.
The twins were waiting for him. They ran out to the car to greet him getting soaked in the process. They’d never done that before, in rain or shine.
Back in the entry hall where the lights had gone out, they grabbed his hands, and they clung to his legs, and demanded to know what he’d done with Sabrina.
“Sabrina is going home.”
“Why can’t she stay here?”
“She can. I told her we want her to stay. But she wants to go back to California.”
“But why?”
Why. That’s what he wanted to know. What had he done wrong? What hadn’t he offered her that she’d accept?
Marriage
. It wasn’t a raise, it wasn’t a bonus or time off.
It was a wedding ring.
“Was she angry because we locked you in the tower with her?” Caterina asked, her little face troubled, her bottom lip quivering.
“Don’t worry, it had nothing to do with you,” he assured them, removing his wet shoes and taking a seat in the great room. They jumped up onto his lap, both of them. Another first. He put his arms around them. It felt strange but good. It felt right.
“Did you have a good time in the tower?” Gianna asked anxiously.
“It was an adventure. No one was angry. Surprised, yes, but we enjoyed the picnic you packed for us.” And so much more.
“We thought you would fall in love with Sabrina.”
“Did you?” he said. Love, what was it? He thought he knew. He thought he’d loved Elena, but that wasn’t love, that was infatuation. Love was about trust. What he felt for Elena was lust.
“That’s why we did it, so you would love her and ask her to marry you and we would live happily ever after like the story she told us,” Caterina said.
“She loves you,” Gianna said. “Why don’t you love her back?”
Vittorio tried to smile at this question following their assumption. Of course that’s what they wanted to believe. “How do you know she loves me?” he asked. Despite his reluctance to believe them, a flicker of hope stirred in his heart. “Did she tell you?”
“She didn’t say she
didn’t
love you,” Gianna said, shifting from Vittorio’s knee to squeeze in next to him in his chair. “When we asked her.”
“You asked her if she loved me?” he said.
They said yes in unison as they did so many things. “She just got kind of red, you know, in her face. Then she said something about something else. But we knew, didn’t we Gianna?”
Her sister nodded vehemently.
“Where is she?” Caterina asked.
“She’s on the ferry, going to Varenna, then to Rome. She’s never seen the Forum or the Coliseum or the Sistine Ceiling, then she’s going back to California.”
“No, you have to stop her. Tell her we need her. We want her to be our mama.”
“She knows that.”
“But she doesn’t know you love her.”
“No, she doesn’t,” he murmured. “And neither did I.” But he knew now. It was so obvious. He’d never felt this way before, not even with Elena. Without her he felt empty and alone even with his two girls. The picture was not complete and wouldn’t be until he got Sabrina back.
“I will call Maria and Valeria to come back early to stay with you while I go after Sabrina. I can’t let her go.”
The girls jumped down from the chair and clapped their hands. Their eyes were shining. They’d asked for many things before, but they’d never wanted anything like they wanted Sabrina. He felt the same. Why hadn’t he realized it sooner? It would have saved time and effort. Unless they were wrong. They were children, after all. They believed in fairy tales. And they’d do anything to get what they wanted. Maybe Sabrina didn’t love him. Maybe she really loved someone else as Elena did. Then he’d have a hell of a convincing job to do. But she was worth it. He had to bring her back.
Sabrina had just checked into the Palazzo Hotel, the only name she knew, because it was the same hotel where Vittorio had stayed. It was way too expensive for her modest budget, but since this was her first and last time in Rome, she tried not to think about the money or Vittorio and just think about how to spend her few days in the eternal city.
She was studying the map of the city, trying to decide which landmark to see first. She thought she’d be more excited to finally be in the Eternal City and she would be as soon as she changed her shoes and got out into the loud, frantic and magnificent city.
She looked outside across the rooftops trying to see a tower or a famous dome or a familiar spire. Instead when she looked down at the street, she saw a familiar figure standing on the sidewalk looking up at her. She jerked the window open, her heart thudding wildly.
“What are you doing here?” she called from the third story window.
“I came to see the sights…and you.”
She grabbed her purse and raced down the stairs to the lobby and out onto the street.
She wanted to run into his arms and stay there forever, but she stopped a few feet from him and folded her arms across her chest. “But why, why here, why now?”
“I thought you needed a guide,” he said. He pointed to his car. “Get in.”
She tried to enjoy the ride in his expensive, beautifully furnished sedan as she had before when he drove her from Milan. But even in the soft leather seat she couldn’t relax. What was he doing here? She couldn’t take another painful farewell. As usual with Vittorio, she didn’t know what was coming next. Why was he here?
“Naturally I’m glad to see you,” she said, “but…”
“Naturally? What was natural about your running off so fast like that, without any explanation.”
“I thought I explained…”
“You thought you did, but you didn’t give me a chance to tell you why you shouldn’t go.”
She didn’t say anything, she just looked out the window as he gave a sight-seeing tour of the city as if he was the tour guide. A personal tour guide that would have cost a fortune if she were paying for it. Of course she was paying for it, paying in patience and stress and worry about what he was doing, what he was thinking, what he wanted from her and what he was going to say. He finally drove to the Borghese Gardens, “Rome’s answer to your ‘Central Park,’” he said. “There is so much to see in Rome and we’ll see it all, but first I want to take you to my favorite place, the Secret Garden of the Villa Borghese.”
“See it all? How long do you plan to be here? And what about the girls?”
“They’re fine, the staff is looking after them, the chauffeur is taking them to their sailing lesson every day. They send their best wishes. In fact they sent me here to tell you they miss you and want you to come back.” Vittorio parked the car and opened the door for Sabrina.
She didn’t say anything. What could she say that she hadn’t said before. She knew the twins wanted her back. She knew Vittorio did too. That didn’t change anything. They were young. They’d recover, especially if their father took an interest in them. She hated leaving the girls, but she had to.
“Is that why you’re here? Because I already explained to them that I couldn’t stay.”
At the entrance to the Villa Borghese, Vittorio spoke to a guard who immediately greeted him warmly and opened the iron gate to the gardens.
“My favorite spot in Rome,” Vittorio said. “El
Giardino dei Melangoli
, the Garden of the Bitter Oranges. It may not be the most beautiful garden but my parents brought us here to see our cousins who lived in the villa over there and we were impressed by the statue of the eagle and the trees.” He turned to Sabrina.
“It’s lovely,” she said. “What a change from the noise and traffic outside the villa. Where is everyone?”
“It’s closed to the public today, but they were good enough to let us in when I told them why we were here.”
“Why are we here?”
“I have a question to ask you,” he said, taking a seat on a stone bench under an orange tree.
Sabrina sat next to him. The smell of oranges perfumed the air, the sun filtered through the trees making intricate shadows on the grass. She took a deep breath and waited for the question. He’d gone to a lot of trouble to take her to this place. She didn’t dare hope it would be the one question she was waiting for.
“Do you love me, Sabrina?” His face was so close she could see the lines between his eyes, see his mouth form the words, see the faint brush stroke of a faint beard line his jaw.
She couldn’t speak. Her throat was clogged with emotion.