The Princess of Trelian (38 page)

But not everyone was there. Not quite.

“King Gerald’s men are deployed along our western border,” the king was saying, “and our scouts say their main forces are marching now.”

“There has been no formal declaration of war from Lourin’s allies,” the commander said, “but we cannot expect anything else.”

Meg tried to care about those things. She knew she had responsibilities here, people depending on her, a role to play in what happened from this point forward. She wanted to pay close attention and find a way to help. And she did care. She cared a lot. It was just hard to make her mind focus on any of those things for very long right now.

She looked over at Serek. His eyes were shadowed and dark as he spoke with his companions. She’d had to fetch Anders and two of the other mages to help release him from that invisible magical enclosure he had been trapped in.

Serek had asked Meg, more than once, whether Calen had said anything to her about what he’d been planning, what he had been doing at Bellman’s Pass, if she could think of any reason why he might have chosen to go off with Mage Krelig in that way. But he hadn’t, and she couldn’t.

Calen hadn’t said a word to her at all.

“Serek,” the king said now, “what are your intentions? Can I count on your assistance here, or will your other duties draw you elsewhere?”

Serek exchanged an unreadable glance with Mage Anders. “I am . . . not yet certain, Sire. I am still hoping for an intervention from the council.”

“Not bloody likely,” one of the other mages muttered.

Serek ignored him and continued, “I remain your mage and advisor for the time being, at least. Although you know I cannot use magic to directly harm your enemies.”

“Not Lourin. No, I know that,” the king said. “But what about the others? If we find ourselves under attack by other enemies? I realize Mage Krelig may not be interested in us specifically, but he has already set his creatures against our people once.” The soldiers had managed to bring down the slaarh that Meg and Jakl had left behind at the castle, but five more men now lay near death in the room at the end of the infirmary.

“His loss of Sen Eva will surely slow him down,” Anders put in. “But we cannot expect that he will wait long to act. Especially since he appears now to have, ah, another . . .” He glanced at Meg, faltering.

“Don’t you say it,” Meg warned him, glaring. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t.

“Meg,” her father said sadly, “you yourself told us what you saw. It seems clear that what the mages feared has come to pass. Calen has chosen —”

“No,” Meg said. “Stop saying that.”

“Princess,” Serek began.

“No!” Meg screamed at him. The world went away for a moment, as it had done sometimes when she had been suffering from the nightmare rages, but this time she knew where the rage was coming from. Distantly, she noted that she could hear Jakl roaring outside the castle, hear him with her ears as well as feel him through the link. He was angry, too.

She realized suddenly that she was standing, that she had moved across the room, that her hands — her hands were fists, beating viciously against Serek’s chest. She had slammed him up against the wall.

Everyone had frozen in shocked silence. Meg looked up at Serek’s face. The sadness she saw there was worse than anger would have been.

“Princess,” Pela said softly, suddenly at her side. “Princess, you must calm down.” Gently, the younger girl reached up and took hold of Meg’s hands, drawing them away from the mage.

“I’m sorry,” Meg whispered. She backed away. “I just can’t —” She looked at the ground, unwilling to meet anyone’s eye. “There must be a reason. He wouldn’t . . .”

She trailed off, because of course, he had.

Calen had willingly climbed up on the back of that monster and ridden off with Mage Krelig. She wished she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, so she could pretend it wasn’t true. She wanted to believe that he’d been under a spell, that he’d been confused, that he hadn’t known what he was doing. But he had looked her right in the eye, and his gaze had been clear and aware and open and sad. He had known.

Serek’s concerns, now validated. But she couldn’t believe it. That wasn’t Calen. It wasn’t. He would never, never turn against them. He must have had some reason, some stupid, foolish notion that he could help save them by giving himself up.

He would never abandon her that way.

But he did.

She needed him, and he had left her. He had gone off with the enemy.

Nothing, not any other thing out of all the crazy things that had happened or could happen could ever have shocked her more. Not even Sen Eva’s sacrificing herself to save Wilem. She had been astounded when Wilem had told her, and when Maurel and Serek had confirmed it. But even that was easier to accept than what Calen had done.

“Meg,” her father said again. “Are you — are you with us? I know how angry you are. But we need you here. You and — you and Jakl, both.”

She looked up at him, surprised. “You’re going to let us help? Directly?” She made herself ask the real question. “You’re going to let my dragon openly fight for Trelian?”

The room had gone very quiet again. Everyone’s eyes were on the king now.

He nodded, his expression an odd mix of reluctance and determination. “Even assuming we will have Kragnir on our side, a war against Lourin and its allies is not a fight our armies can win for us alone. And if this war is truly of use to Mage Krelig, if our fighting among ourselves is going to make his conquest easier, then we have a responsibility to end it as soon as possible. Your dragon, Meg — in him we have an advantage I cannot in good conscience ignore.”

He looked at the queen, who met his eyes steadily, seeming to answer a silent question.

He turned back to Meg. “We have all seen how brave, resourceful, and dedicated you are.” He held up a hand to stop her response. “You are also impulsive, and willful, and stubborn. If you are going to be of any use to us, you will need to learn to follow orders, to work with the others who fight on our side, but . . . yes. If you are willing,” he said, “I believe we will need you both to win this war.”

“I am,” she said at once. “We both are.”

The meeting continued, her father’s military advisors seeming very excited about the possibilities now open to them. The mages soon left for a meeting of their own, and Meg knew they were discussing not only what to do about Mage Krelig but also what might be the fate of the Magistratum if the mages could not come together in agreement.

Meg’s mother caught her eye across the room. Maurel was sleeping, and the queen was stroking her hair. Queen Merilyn smiled just a little, and for the first time in a long while, Meg could see something other than fear and worry in her mother’s expression.

I am going to make you proud,
Meg thought.

Maybe she would never be the kind of princess-heir the people of Trelian could be comfortable with. But she would be the kind who could protect them, who could defend them from their enemies. She thought they would come to appreciate that.

She felt Jakl’s excitement, his readiness to fly and fight at her command.
Not yet,
she thought at him fondly.
But soon. We are going to show them all what having a dragon on their side is truly about.

She only wished that Calen could be here with them. Instead of . . . instead . . .

She tried to make herself think it:
Instead of on the side of our enemies.

But she still didn’t believe it.

He had left her. But not forever. Calen was her best friend. More than her best friend. More than family. And he always, always would be. No matter what. He had left her, but she was going to get him back.

And gods, was he going to be in trouble when she did.