The Private Serials Box Set (24 page)

   “Well, what are you doing tomorrow?  Want to hunt for apartments together?  It would be better than doing it all alone.”  She looked hopeful and I honestly thought it would be much better to hunt for a place to live with Becky than alone.

   “Sure.  That sounds great.  Wanna meet out here at, like, ten?”

   Her mouth pulled up into a beautiful smile.  “Sounds like a plan.  See you later.”  She turned and I watched as she disappeared around a corner.  I heard her footsteps up the stairs, and just took a moment to reflect, staring out at the beautiful scenery around me.

   Today had been a good day.  The first I’d had in weeks.  Without provocation and for my own reasons, a smile spread across my face.

   Instead of going into my room, I turned and headed for the sidewalk, leading toward a convenience store only a block away.

   With the excitement taking over, I walked in and went straight for the counter, knowing the pre-paid cell phones hung on pegs right below.  I’d eyed them before, knowing eventually I’d need one, but before now I couldn’t bring myself to purchase one.  I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone, didn’t know what I would say.  But today I wanted to talk to my best friend.

   I picked out a simple phone and paid, then nearly jogged back to my room.  I opened the package and followed the directions for activation, and when the screen lit up, my heart sped up as well.  I dialed her number carefully, making sure I hit all the right numbers, and then I put the phone to my ear, breathing rapidly.

   After a few rings, I heard her voice and my smile grew tenfold.

   “Hello?”  She was confused by the unknown number, I assumed.  I took a deep breath and responded.

   “Hey, Sam,” I whispered.

   “Who…?  Lena?  Is that you?”

   “Yes, it’s me.”

   “Lena, oh, my God!  Where are you?  Are you okay?”  She immediately started crying, and to hear her speaking through tears wrenched at my heart.  My eyes welled with tears and I cried as I answered her.

   “Sam, it’s so good to hear your voice.  I miss you.  So much.”

   “Lena,” she cried again.  Then we both sat on the line crying, and I wished I could hug her.

   “I’m sorry I haven’t called.  I’m sorry.”

   I heard her sniffle and the crying tapered off.  Then I laughed as I heard her blow her nose so loudly it was comical.

   “Where are you?” she asked again.  I wasn’t sure I should tell her where I was, not yet at least.

   “I’m safe,” was the only response I could think of.

   “Where?”

   “Sam, it’s not important.”

   “Are you okay?”

   “Yes.  No.  I don’t know.  I’m fine.  I’m doing all right.  But no, I’m not okay.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay.”

   “Where are you?” 

   “I’m safe.”

   “Lena, this isn’t funny.  Tell me where you are.”

   “Sam, I can’t.  I will eventually, but not today.  I’m sorry.  Can we just talk?  I’ve missed talking to you.”

   She sighed loudly, but in her breath I heard her acquiescence.  “What do you want to talk about?”

   “I got a job today,” I said, smiling.

   “A job?  Are you planning on staying wherever you are?”

   I shrugged.  “I don’t know.  All I
do
know is that I can’t live off twenty thousand dollars forever.”

   “Come home, Lena.”  Her words were soft and pleading.

   “I can’t be in Portland, Sam.  I just can’t.”

   “Derrek’s gone.”  Her words hit me like a freight train.

   “What do you mean he’s gone?”

   “I mean, he’s gone.  Disappeared.”

   “Disappeared?”

   “Yeah.  Him, Jessica, their girls.  Gone.  The police are investigating, seeing as how he abandoned his company and no one knows where he is, but it’s just, I don’t know, like a missing person’s case.  It’s all really confusing.”

   “It doesn’t matter.”

   “Doesn’t it?”

   “Not really.  It doesn’t involve me at all.”

   “Perhaps not, but I’m sure the authorities would like to speak with you about it.  You were probably the last person to see him before he disappeared.”

   “Perhaps, but I’m not coming back for that.  I’m not hiding, Sam.  If the police want to find me to ask me questions, they will.”

   I heard her sigh again and knew she was accepting that she wasn’t getting anywhere with me.  “What is your new job?”

   I smiled a little, silently thanking her for moving on.  “I got a job at a marketing firm.  I’m starting at the bottom, but I’m okay with that.  I just want something that, for once, wasn’t handed to me.”

   “That’s great, Lena.  I’m glad you’re getting what you want.”

   “I miss you though,” I said softly.  “I made a friend today, and she was so nice and warm.  And even though I was so happy to have met her, she just made me miss my best friend.  So that’s why I called.”

   “Well, I’m glad you did.  I just wish I knew where you were.  I’d come see you.  Like, hop on the next plane just to see your face, Lena.  That’s how much I miss you.”

   Those words, even the suggestion of seeing her, was almost enough to make the words fly out of my mouth, almost tell her where I was.  I wanted to see her so badly, wanted to tell her everything, but I needed more time.  “You have my number now though, so feel free to call me whenever,” I said with a little sadness. 

   “I will.  Take care of yourself, Lena.”

   “Okay.”

   I heard the line disconnect and hung my head.  That phone call did not go as I had planned.  I called her because I wanted to hear her voice, wanted to tell her I missed her.  But by the way she sounded toward the end of our conversation, it seemed I might have pushed her even farther away.  I stared down at the cheap phone in my hand, and my fingers, trying to have a mind of their own, floated over the keys that would dial Preston’s number.

   Sharp pain shot through my chest at the thought of his name.  I had tried to not think about him for three weeks, and sometimes that was nearly impossible.  When I had this phone in my hand, knowing I could dial his number and possibly hear his voice in just seconds, it was heartbreaking.  I could call, listen to his voice, and hang up, like some sorry teenager pranking her crush.  I didn’t allow my fingers to make that damaging decision and I put the phone back in my purse.

   Hearing Preston Reid’s voice would surely end me.  And if his voice didn’t kill me, it would just anger me.  I was very in tune with my emotions, enough to know I harbored a lot of anger toward him.  And rightfully so, in my opinion.  What he’d done to me was unforgivable, not that he’d asked for forgiveness.  I’d imagined many scenarios where we’d come face-to-face and all he ever said to me in my made up encounters was, “Looks like you should have left him when you had the chance.”  Then his face would spread into that beautiful smile and he’d say, “But the fucking sure was fun.”

   Yes, even in my daydreams he was an asshole.  Only, my daydreams battled with my memories because in my memory he wasn’t an asshole at all.  Well, not in a bad way.  He was confident and brash, but he was also infinitely caring, protective, and gentle.  The only unkind words he’d ever said to me were out of frustration for the situation I was in. 

   I shook my head, trying to break the conflicting thoughts.  I had to remind myself that Preston Reid had played me.  He’d taken money from my husband to bury me in lies and deceit.  Any remaining thoughts or memories that painted him as the man I’d fallen in love with needed to be erased, abolished.  I couldn’t let myself remember the way it felt when his traitorous hands were on me.  Couldn’t think about how my heart had fallen for every poisoned word he’d said.

   No.

   I had to keep moving forward.

   So that’s what I did.

Chapter Three

   The next morning, I met Becky outside my room at ten.  We walked back to the same coffee shop we’d met at the day before, but instead of a newspaper, we used her smart phone to look for listings.

   “I knew Hawaii was an expensive place to live, but this is a little daunting,” she said, taking a sip from her latte.

   “Yeah, I know what you mean.  Some of the single listings are a little scary.  I don’t mind living alone, but when I think of what kind of place I could get for fifteen hundred dollars back home…” My voice trailed off as I thought about the tall apartment buildings in Portland.

   “Where are you from?”

   “Oh, uh, Portland, Oregon.”  Her question had caught me off guard.  In fact, most everything caught me off guard these days.  It was hard to trust people because I’d learned that I obviously was a terrible judge of character.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to share personal information with her.

   “I’ve heard great things about that place,” she said with a smile, then turned back to her phone.  “Oh, here’s a good one.  It’s close to the bus line, utilities included, new carpets, and walking distance to the beach!  And it’s in the area you wanted, too.”  She looked back up at me.  “Wanna go check it out?”

   “How much is the rent?”

   “Fourteen.”

   I sighed.  But then I straightened my shoulders.  It was time to bite the bullet.  I didn’t want to live in squalor, so I was going to have to pay a lot for an apartment.  Hopefully, once my paychecks started coming in, it wouldn’t seem like such a burden.  “I guess we have to start somewhere.”

   “Great! Let’s go.”

   Thirty minutes later, we found ourselves outside a building that looked like it housed about ten individual apartments.  It looked cozy.  I imagined everyone who lived there knew each other’s names and borrowed cups of sugar from one another.  They kept an eye out for their neighbors and baked them cookies.  I could use something like that in my life.

   A very round, short, balding man met us out front.

   “Hi, I’m Becky and this is Lena.  We called about looking at the available apartment.”

   “Sure thing, ladies.  This way,” he said, motioning to the building behind him, walking toward a small staircase at the side.  Once upstairs, he let us into an apartment and my eyes took in the empty dwelling.

   It was beautiful.  It had a ton of natural light, it was clean, and it embodied the cozy feel I’d picked up from the building on the outside.  I walked into the living room and looked out the big picture window and all I saw was blue: blue sky and blue ocean.

   “Lena, this place is perfect.”

   I smiled at Becky because she was right; it was gorgeous and perfect.  There had to be some sort of catch.  I wandered down the hall, which led to the bedroom.  It was spacious and had the same beautiful view as the living room.  I looked through the rest of the apartment, not finding anything to complain about.  There was even a washer and dryer in a little closet right off the bathroom.

   “I’m a little surprised.  Is there something I’m missing?  Why is this place even still available?”

   The man shrugged.  “I just listed it yesterday.  They do tend to go fast, though.”

   “Lena, if you don’t take it, I might have to,” Becky said with a friendly smile.

   “You’re both looking?”

   “Yeah, we both just moved here.”

   “Well, this is the only one bedroom I have available, but there’s a two-bedroom unit just next door.  Nearly same floorplan, just an extra bedroom on the back end.  One bathroom.  That one has furniture in it you can use if you’d like.  Rent’s twenty-two hundred.”

   Becky’s eyes got big as she turned to face me.  “That’s only eleven hundred each!”  She turned back to the landlord.  “Can we see the two bedroom as well?”

   “Sure,” he said with a shrug.  I followed, but my shoulders tensed and I got an empty feeling in my stomach.  I didn’t know Becky, and I thought it was a little strange that she wanted to share an apartment with me.  I could be a serial killer for all she knew, or she could be one. 

   We walked next door, and sure enough, the two bedroom was just as beautiful as the one.  It did have some furniture: one couch, a coffee table, a queen-sized bed in each bedroom, and some end tables.  It wasn’t much, but it was more than I had in the world.  Becky was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

   “What do you think, Lena?”

   “Are you sure you really want to live with someone you just met?”

   She laughed a little and then smiled.  “What’s the difference between living with you or living with someone I meet on craigslist?  I need a roommate, regardless of who it is, and you seem way more normal than some of the people I’m sure post their vacancies on the internet.”

   She had a point.  I had considered meeting people from the internet and looking for a roommate that way.  This, meeting her just yesterday and now looking for a place to live together, just seemed a little too convenient.  However, my mind started focusing on the price.  My brief research had shown eleven hundred dollars for a place this nice, with a washer and dryer, this close to the ocean, was a steal.

   “I don’t know…”

   “Want me to agree to a background check?  Want a drug test?”  She asked the questions, but it was obvious she was joking.  “Lena, honestly, if you’re uncomfortable, I get it.  It’s just a really great deal.  If you don’t want to room with me, I’ll just get the two bedroom and look for a roommate myself.  But I’d rather just room with you.  You’re the first friend I made on this island.”

   She watched me as my mind sifted through all my options.  The financially smart decision would be to room with her.  And I
did
like her.

   “Okay, let’s do it.”  Then Becky did start clapping and jumping up and down in her spot.  “When is this one available?”  I asked the landlord.

   “It’s ready now.  I’d just need first and last month’s rent, and the security.”

   “I’m good with that.” I turned to Becky.  “You good to go?”

   “I’m golden,” she said with a smile that was so big and bright.

   So we both filled out the paperwork, wrote checks for our portion, and he gave us keys.

   The next day, after I’d brought all my clothes to the new apartment, along with the small amount of personal belongings I’d acquired in my three weeks on the island, I walked into the living room to find Becky looking out the big window.