The Problem with Forever (33 page)

Sirens wailed off in the distance as I knocked on the front door, reminding me of yesterday. A shiver curled down my spine.

Heavy footsteps were heard inside and I tensed. The door swung open, and a tall, older man was standing there. He took one look at me and frowned. “Who are you?”

“I’m looking for—”

Another guy appeared behind him. I recognized him from yesterday. He’d been at that house, but I didn’t know his name. “You’re Rider’s girl.” He shouldered the other man aside. “You lookin’ for him?”

I nodded. “Is...he here?”

“Yeah. Upstairs. The attic last I saw him.” He stepped aside, letting me in. I swallowed hard as I looked around. The living room was crowded. I glanced back at the guy. “I’m so sorry about Jayden. I...”

His eyes glinted as he closed the door. “They ain’t gonna get away with that. Aw, no. No way in hell they gonna get away with taking my blood,” he promised, and I shivered again. The other man shook his head as this guy, who I was guessing was family, pointed to the stairs. “It’s a little crowded up there.”

I thought that was a little weird, because even though I hadn’t been up in the attic, I was under the impression it was pretty big, but I turned and headed up the stairs, passing a very tall, dark-haired woman who was dabbing a tissue under her cheeks. I didn’t see Mrs. Luna, but all I could think about was what Jayden had said to her before. That she wouldn’t know what to do without him. My chest squeezed.

On the second floor I walked down the hall, past open doors. I didn’t let myself look in, because I didn’t want to see if any of them was Jayden’s room. I couldn’t see that—see his stuff. I walked past Rider’s bedroom.

At the end of the hall, I opened the door. The narrow staircase was dimly lit, and there was a stale, earthy scent that reminded me of Jayden. Holding on to the railing, I made my way up and crested the top of the stairs.

Sunlight fought its way through the dusty attic windows, casting enough light that without the lamps on, I could still see.

And I saw.

I saw the mattresses and stacked pillows.

I saw the card table covered with bottles and cans of soda. And there was Rider’s phone, on that table.

I saw the TV that wasn’t turned on.

I saw the couch.

And my heart stopped and then dropped. Dropped like the stars falling out of the sky. My lips parted on a soft inhale. I’d found Rider. He was asleep, his head resting against the back of the couch. He wasn’t alone.

My bag slipped down my shoulder and hit the floor with a thud.

Paige was there, curled up on the couch beside him.

Chapter 32

The sound of my bag hitting the floor didn’t wake them. Paige stirred, though. She curled in more, pressing into Rider’s side. Seeing that was like taking a punch to the stomach.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

For what felt like the hundredth time in twenty-four hours, I was absolutely dumbstruck, and my brain had a hard time catching up to what was happening.

I opened my mouth, but a sinking feeling cut me off as I stared at the two. Then my gaze cut to the table, to where Rider’s phone sat. He hadn’t answered any of my texts or calls. I’d believed it was because he was with Hector, and he was here, at home, but he wasn’t with Hector. The punched-in-the-stomach sensation increased.

The guy’s words from downstairs came back to me.
It’s a little crowded up there
. Now I knew what he’d meant. Oh my God. Pain lit up my chest, and it felt so very real. Like my chest had been cracked right open.

As horrible as it was, I wasn’t thinking about Jayden in that moment. I was thinking about the time Rider and I had spent together before we’d walked outside. How he’d held me. How he’d kissed me. Touched me. What he’d admitted to me.

And now he was here with her, asleep together?

I had to get out of there.

Picking up my bag, I wheeled around. I crept down the stairs, wincing each time the floorboards creaked. I had to get out of there before Rider woke up, because I...I couldn’t deal with that right now.

Quietly closing the attic door behind me, all I could focus on was getting out of there and then? I didn’t know. I couldn’t go home. Not yet. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I’d made it halfway down the hall when a door opened.

Hector walked out, scrubbing a hand through his hair. His body jerked when he spotted me. “Hey,” he said, voice thick as he dropped his hand. “I didn’t know you were here.”

I glanced behind me and then refocused on Hector as I shut down the whirlwind of raw emotion swirling inside me. “I...um, I stopped to check on Rider—and on you. I am so sorry about...about Jayden.”

“Me, too.” His bloodshot eyes closed briefly. “The messed-up thing? I’m not—I’m not surprised, you know? Even after what happened with our cousin, I’m not surprised. He was making changes. Getting a job with me, but...but it was too late. He got in deep with people you just don’t screw around with. I just thought... I don’t even know what I thought.”

I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t think there was anything I could say.

“He...” Hector’s shoulders slumped. “He didn’t deserve that. I don’t care how much money he owed.”

“No,” I whispered, and I thought about the day in the garage and what Rider had said to Jayden.
You’re going to get yourself killed
. Oh, God, Rider had been right. “He didn’t.”

He lifted a hand and scrubbed his fingers through his messy hair. “I don’t...I don’t even believe the police will get them—the ones who got Jayden.”

“They have to.” My chest squeezed. I refused to believe anything else. “They will.”

Hector nodded and the act looked like it took a lot of effort. “My
abuelita
is asleep. She’s... They’ve got her sedated.”

I still didn’t have the right words, but innately I knew that this was one of the moments where there were none. Only action mattered in times like these, I realized. It was why I’d come over to comfort Rider. To just be there for him.

Except he’d obviously already had someone comforting him.

Stepping forward, I did the only thing I really could. I wrapped my arms around Hector and squeezed. He stiffened at first and then a sigh shuddered out of him. He folded his arms around me.

“Thank you,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.

I nodded as I drew back.

Hector blinked rapidly several times. “So, um...” He cleared his throat. “You see Rider?”

A twisty motion in my chest threatened to steal my breath. “He’s asleep. I...I didn’t want to wake him.”

“What? We can wake him. You came all the—”

“No. It’s okay.” I started to pass him. “I’ll call him later.”

“But—”

“It’s no problem.” I forced a smile as I stopped, facing him. “I’m...thinking of you.”

A trace of a grin appeared on his lips and then he nodded once more before turning toward the attic door. I left then, hurrying out of the house as fast as I could without running.

Once I was in my car, I pulled out and I...I just started driving. My phone started ringing when I was about three blocks away, but I didn’t look at it. I squeezed the steering wheel tight.

My phone rang again.

When it stopped, it dinged a few moments later, signaling a message was left, but I didn’t look.

I just kept driving.

* * *

I didn’t end up driving aimlessly. Thirty minutes later I found myself walking up to Ainsley’s house after I left Hector’s. Luckily, she answered the door...wearing cotton shorts, knee-high socks and an oversize hoodie.

Somehow she managed to still look cute.

“Hey, what are you...?” Ainsley trailed off as she eyed me. She snapped forward and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside. The toasty warmth barely eased my chilled skin. Tugging me toward the stairs, she called, “Mom! Mallory’s here. We’re going upstairs.”

“All right.” There was a pause and the TV was muted from the living room. “Do you two want some hot chocolate?”

Hot chocolate
, she mouthed at me, rolling her eyes. “No, Mom. We’re not ten!”

Hot cocoa sounded real good about right now.

“Are you sure?” Her mom’s voice was closer and we were halfway up the stairs. “I have those tiny marshmallows you two like so much.”

“Oh my God.” And then louder, “Yes, Mom. We’re sure.”

“Just checking,” her mom replied.

“Rather have some tequila,” Ainsley muttered at the top of the stairs.

Her mom appeared at the bottom. “What was that?”

“Nothing!” Ainsley flashed a quick grin and then dragged me into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. “Jesus Christ, the woman has the hearing of a bat. And I don’t know if bats have good hearing, but I think they do.” She pushed away from the door. “What’s going on? You look like you have the flu or something.”

“I don’t have the flu.” I dropped my bag on the floor and then walked over to her bed, flopping face-first onto it.

Ainsley shuffled toward the bed. “Are you sure about that? I hope you are, because I really don’t want to have to Lysol my comforter.”

I cracked a grin and rolled onto my side. “Yes. I’m sure.”

She ran the rest of the way and then jumped on the bed, causing me to bounce. “What’s going on? And I know something is going on, because as long as I’ve known you, you haven’t just showed up randomly.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Wait. Did you and Rider have a fight? Am I going to have to beat him up?”

My chest squeezed. “No. Not really.”

“Not really?” She poked my leg when I didn’t respond. “That doesn’t tell me anything.”

Sitting up, I grabbed a pillow and hugged it close. “I...I was going to call you yesterday, but you’ve got a lot going on.”

Ainsley arched a brow. “I may or may not go blind, Mallory. That doesn’t mean I have a lot going on.”

I looked at her doubtfully. She might act like she wasn’t stressing over her diagnosis, but the tightness of her mouth and the way she looked away spelled something totally different.

“Talk to me,” she demanded.

Taking a deep breath, I told her everything, starting with what happened to Jayden yesterday, fighting with Carl and Rosa this morning and ending with finding Paige and Rider asleep together on the couch.

Ainsley’s emotions were all over the place, much like mine. She hadn’t met Jayden, but her eyes welled up with tears. “Oh my God, he’s just... I don’t even know what to say.” She placed her hand against her chest. “How is Hector? Okay. That’s a dumb question. How are you? You saw— Okay, that’s also a dumb question.” Springing forward, she smacked my arm.

I jerked, pulling back. “What was that for?”

“You should’ve called me yesterday!” she whisper-yelled. “You went through an extremely traumatic event. You saw someone— God, I can’t even say it. After everything you’ve been through, you see that happen?”

“Nothing...nothing that I’ve been through compares to what happened to Jayden.” The back of my throat burned. “It’s so... It’s so senseless, you know? I don’t care what he did or didn’t do, it wasn’t worth his life.”

“No,” she agreed as she wiped under her eyes with the back of her hand. “Do you know if the police have arrested the guy who did it?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. Hector...thinks they won’t, but they have to. Everyone knew that...these Braden and Jerome guys were after...him.”

Ainsley shuddered. “It’s so horrible.”

The burn in my throat didn’t decrease, but the tears building in the backs of my eyes didn’t fall. They never did. No matter. My tear ducts were defective.

I was defective.

“Poor Jayden.” She folded her arms around herself. “Poor Hector. God, I can’t even imagine what that’s like. I don’t want to. Do you know when the funeral is? Or is it too soon?”

“Too soon, I guess,” I said, tucking a stray hair back from my face. “I didn’t ask Hector when I saw him. I’m sure I’ll find out. I’ll let you know.”

Neither of us spoke for a long moment and then Ainsley sighed. “Okay. Now this whole Rider thing.”

The pressure in my chest clamped down like vise grips.

“I don’t even know what to say about that.” She shook her head. “I mean, it could be completely harmless.”

I raised my brows.

Ainsley winced. “Hey, let’s look at this logically for a moment. They had their clothes on, right?”

Oh, God. Immediately an image of Paige and Rider naked formed and I wanted to vomit. “Yes, they had their clothes on.”

“Now, that doesn’t really mean anything. When Todd and I had sex we didn’t get completely naked and all it could’ve meant was that they put their clothes back on afterward.”

I thought about what Rider and I had done yesterday while our clothing had remained on. Mostly. Wait. I refocused on what Ainsley was saying. “You think they had sex?”

“What? No. I mean, that’s like the worst-case scenario. That in his grief and whatever, he hooked up with her.” She stared at me. “Isn’t that where your mind was going with this?”

“I...” Truth was, I didn’t know what I was thinking. But I didn’t believe they’d have sex after what Rider had told me the day before. My shoulders caved in. “I saw them and I just freaked. I don’t know.” I squeezed the pillow. “I just... I defended him to Rosa and Carl. Left the house to go to him—to be there for him, and he didn’t even need me. He had—” My breath caught. “He had Paige, and he didn’t answer the phone when I called or texted. He was with Paige, Ainsley, and yesterday we...we went pretty far and I—” Pressing my lips together, I cut myself off.

“What?” she asked softly.

I didn’t want to say, because it made the hurting in my chest so much worse and it scared me so badly. Terrified me, because I knew what I was feeling was a big deal and acknowledging it made it true.

“You love him, don’t you?” she said.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I forced a shallow breath. Yesterday the mere idea of falling in love, being in love, was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. Now it was just one of those things.

“Yes. I think I am.” I opened my eyes and met Ainsley’s stare. “No. I don’t think I am. I know I am. I’m in love with him. I think I’ve been in love with him my entire life. And I love the grown Rider even more than I loved the boy when we were younger.” My heart rate kicked up. “And that’s scary.”

“Damn straight it is,” she agreed, one side of her lips curling up. “It’s why I’m totes okay with whatever happens with Todd. I don’t love him. I don’t even know what that feels like, but I know it has to be scary.”

I studied her for a moment and the knot expanded. “I thought Rider felt the same.”

“Let’s not freak out too much. Okay? We don’t know what was going on there. They were asleep on the couch, not cuddled up—”

“She was pressed against him.” Saying that made me feel sick, but I had to get it out of me and into the air between us. “He wasn’t holding her or anything, but there was no space between them. None.”

“That still doesn’t mean anything.”

My brows rose.

“All right, he’s going to have to have one hell of an excuse for it, but we really don’t know what was going on there. Paige is a friend of his and Hector’s, right? She knew Hector’s brother?”

I nodded.

“It could be harmless.”

I wanted it to be harmless. And a part of me didn’t. How crazy was that? But if it wasn’t harmless, then it would hurt and it would suck but my life would go back to normal. I wouldn’t have to worry about things like this. Or what Carl and Rosa thought of Rider. I wouldn’t have to fight for him.

Or fight in general.

I squirmed, uncomfortable with where my thoughts were going.

Ainsley placed her hand on my arm. “Has he tried to call you since you left?”

I glanced at my bag. “The phone rang a couple of times, but I...haven’t looked.”

She stared at me like I had half a functioning brain. “You should look. Seriously.”

“It’s probably Rosa or Carl.” But I slid off the bed anyway and grabbed my bag, bringing it back to me. I sat and opened the compartment. I hit the screen and disappointment crashed into me. “It’s not Rider’s. It’s an unknown number.”

“Oh.” She sighed heavily.

“Whoever it is left a message. Let me see who it is.”

“Maybe Carl and Rosa hired a private investigator to find you.”

Despite everything I laughed as I hit the message button. “That would be an excessive— Oh!” I stopped talking as I recognized the voice.

“What?” Her eyes widened as she rocked forward. “What?”

Shaking my head, I held my hand out as I hit Speaker on my phone. Both of us stared at it as Rider’s deep voice filled the room.

“Mallory, this is Rider. I’m using Hector’s phone. I forgot the battery was running low and mine died. Didn’t even realize it. I’m charging it now. Shit. None of that matters. He said you were here. That you were in the attic. Why didn’t you wake me up?”