The Prodigal Son (A Reverend Curtis Black Novel) (5 page)

M
atthew walked inside one of the largest superstores in the area and pulled a shopping cart away from a long row of them. He’d just gotten off work about a half hour ago and figured he’d better get this shopping business out of the way as soon as possible. He rolled the cart farther into the store and down one of the aisles. As it had turned out, the list Racquel had sent him was long and it didn’t contain items only for MJ. She wanted him to pick up food for them as well. Then she’d listed other necessities, such as toilet paper, paper towels, and, of all things, her sanitary napkins. This was a first, and he couldn’t believe she now resorted to having him purchase her feminine products. It wouldn’t have been a big deal since he had always been willing to do anything for his wife, but what bothered him was that she now expected him to do everything. She burdened him with all outside responsibilities, so she never had to the leave the apartment. He was still shocked that she’d actually kept her word about having dinner at her parents’. They hadn’t stayed very long, though—they’d returned home about an hour after they’d finished eating—and Matthew could tell her parents had been disappointed. They’d wanted to spend more time with MJ and Racquel, but she’d made up some lie about not feeling well and then announced that she wanted to go home and lie down. It was all a shame because spending time with her parents was the very least she could do, given all the help they gave her and Matthew. They faithfully paid her car note every month, and there were times when they covered her and Matthew’s rent payment without being asked. They did it from the kindness of their hearts, and they also bought most of MJ’s clothing and did whatever else they could to help out. But none of that seemed to matter to Racquel. All she thought about was getting back to her safe haven away from all the people who cared about her. It was interesting, too, how as soon as they’d arrived home yesterday afternoon, she’d quickly laid MJ in his crib and had rushed to turn on the television. One of the channels had aired back-to-back reruns of
Hoarders
, and she hadn’t been able to plop down on the sofa fast enough. For the life of him, though, Matthew couldn’t understand why she would want to watch this particular program for as much as two minutes. She was an awful housekeeper, and she wasn’t far from being a hoarder herself. There was a time when he would come home from work every single day, spending at least an hour cleaning and picking up in every room. But when he’d realized that the more he cleaned up the more she messed up, he’d stopped. She didn’t care one way or the other, and he’d given up on trying to keep their apartment presentable.

Matthew pulled various items from different shelves, then went down another aisle and spotted the maxi pads Racquel needed. He knew it was childish, but he hoped no one saw him standing there trying to locate the right brand and quantity she’d asked for. But so much for trying to be discreet.

“Hey you,” a female voice said, and he turned around.

It was Racquel’s best friend, Jasmine Green, and he smiled. He wasn’t sure why, but just being in her presence was a breath of fresh air, and he was glad they’d run into each other. She’d been away at college for two years now, but she was still the same friendly girl she’d always been. She was exceptionally smart, and not one person in the entire school had questioned why she’d been named homecoming queen. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t imagine anyone not voting for her, because Jasmine had a noticeably kind spirit and everyone liked that about her. He’d been named homecoming king that year as well, and though he could tell Racquel had been a little jealous of Jasmine for winning, Jasmine had deserved that win more than any girl who was graduating.

“So when did you get home?” Matthew said, hugging her.

“Friday. I left right after my last final, and I’ve been trying to call Quel ever since. I’ve left her a number of messages, but she won’t call me back. Tomorrow, I was planning to call her mom.”

“She rarely talks to anyone, so I’m not surprised.”

“Is everything okay? I spoke to her a few times while I was gone but not nearly like I did the first year I was away. I just figured she was busy with the baby and married life. Plus, I had a really heavy course load this semester and a part-time job.”

“I think she’s depressed,” he admitted. “Actually, I know she is.”

“Oh no. Why? Because of what happened with little MJ when he was born?”

“Yeah. She’s never gotten over what my mother did. When they took our son from her, well that changed everything. She hasn’t been the same since.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Matt. Wow.”

“Maybe you should just stop by to check on her because she really needs to talk to someone. She won’t really talk to me, and she doesn’t have much to say to her parents either.”

“I did think about that, but I hate showing up at anyone’s house without calling. My mother always said people were being rude when they did that.”

“You guys have been friends since what? Kindergarten? It’ll be fine,” Matthew said, but he knew in all likelihood that Racquel would be livid. Still, he was hoping that when she saw her best friend in the world that she would be happy, and that she might open up to her. There was a chance that maybe Jasmine could get her out of the house.

“I don’t know,” she said, pushing her oversized handbag farther up on her shoulder.

“Well, if you want, you can just follow me home and that way if Racquel gets upset, I’ll take all the blame. I’ll tell her you didn’t wanna come without calling, but that I told you it was fine.”

“I really do miss her, and I’m worried about her. Okay, I’ll come.”

“I really appreciate this.”

“I still have to pick up a few things, so why don’t I call you when I’m finished.”

“Sounds good. Do you have my number?” he asked.

“No. Just call me so I’ll have it.”

As Jasmine recited her cell number, Matthew typed it into his phone and pressed Send.

When she saw his number display, she said, “Okay, got it.”

“See you shortly,” he said.

Jasmine went on her way to finish up her shopping, and for a second Matthew wondered if he was doing the right thing. He knew Racquel might be upset, but he’d already tried everything else. She wasn’t listening to anyone, so all he could hope was that Jasmine’s visit ended up being a positive thing. Even if it wasn’t, though, it wasn’t like he had anything to lose. The worst that could happen was that Racquel might yell at him the way she always did and then stop speaking to him. So what else was new? This sort of treatment had become her normal MO, and now he almost expected it from her. It was just the way things were. But today, he was taking matters into his own hands to try to help her. She might not think so, but he was doing this for her own good. He was doing the only thing he could think to do because, with the exception of trying to get Jasmine to talk to her, he was out of ideas. He was at his wit’s end. He had been for a while.

M
atthew drove up to the front of the apartment complex, and so did Jasmine. He was still a little nervous about his decision to bring her home with him, but it was too late to change his mind about it. Plus, it was like he’d been thinking before, what did he have to lose? Not much at all, because things were already so bad between him and Racquel that he couldn’t fathom them getting any worse.

He stepped out of his vehicle, opened the back door, and pulled out as many plastic bags as he could.

Jasmine got out of her car, too, and strolled around to where he was standing. “Need some help?”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

Matthew passed her three of the bags he’d already taken out, shut the door, and they headed toward the building. They lived in a secure location, so he set two of the bags down and opened the door with his key. Once inside, he and Jasmine made their way up the first flight of stairs. Thankfully, he and Racquel had been able to rent a unit on the second floor because normally the elevator took forever, and they rarely used it.

When they arrived in front of the door, Matthew unlocked it, and they both walked in. They heard a TV playing from the bedroom and little MJ crying.

“Baby?” he said, calling out to Racquel and walking through to the kitchen. When she didn’t respond, he set down the bags he was carrying and went to look for her.

Jasmine placed the other bags on the table and stood where she was.

“What are you doing?” Matthew yelled, walking into the bedroom. Racquel sat comfortably against two pillows, eating from a large bag of potato chips. Strangely enough, her hair was actually combed pretty decently. “Don’t you hear MJ crying?”

Racquel looked at him and then back at the TV.

Matthew rushed out of the room and into MJ’s and pulled him from his crib. “Awww, it’s okay, little man. I’m so sorry. Are you hungry?” he said, holding the back of MJ’s little head and rocking him. MJ screamed louder, and Matthew tried his best to calm him. Finally, he took him into the kitchen and passed him to Jasmine so he could fix him a bottle. When MJ saw that Matthew was getting ready to feed him, he cried a little less and he also laid his head on Jasmine’s shoulder. He barely knew her, but maybe he’d cried so much, he was just happy to be held. There was no telling how long Racquel had been ignoring him, and she still hadn’t come out of that bedroom to see about him.

Jasmine moved her body from side to side, continuing to comfort MJ, until Matthew took him from her. MJ drank his bottle so quickly and intensely, he acted as though he hadn’t eaten in days. Something was very wrong. Racquel had a lot of issues, but one thing she never slacked on was taking care of their son.

“Do you think I should go talk to her?” Jasmine whispered.

“Of course, you should,” Racquel said, strolling into the room, hugging her. “I thought that was you I heard.”

“I saw Matt at the store and since I hadn’t heard back from you, I decided to stop over.”

Racquel never acknowledged any of Jasmine’s phone calls and acted as though everything was fine. It was as if Matthew hadn’t just come home and found MJ in his room all alone, crying for someone to come get him. She was also in a better mood than Matthew had seen in months.

“Girl, let’s go sit in the living room,” Racquel said, never once looking at Matthew or MJ. “You’ll have to excuse all the mess.”

Jasmine sat on the loveseat. “Now, Quel, you know you don’t need to explain anything to me. I’m just glad to see you. It’s been a long time.”

“So how’s school? Are you still loving it?”

“I am. Can you believe two years have already passed?”

“I know. Time is really flying, and before you know it you’ll be graduating. You still majoring in fashion design?”

“Actually, that’s my minor. My major is marketing.”

“That’s wonderful. I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to school myself.”

Matthew glared at her in shock. He wasn’t sure if this was some sort of façade she was putting on just for Jasmine or if maybe she’d truly had a nervous breakdown this time. He tended to think it was the latter because the one thing he simply couldn’t shake from his mind was the fact that she was totally ignoring MJ. Normally, she never put him down unless he was asleep, which was part of the reason MJ had barely learned to walk. Even now, he was still a little wobbly because Racquel rarely gave him a chance to practice the way he needed to.

Jasmine smiled. “That would be wonderful, Quel. I hope you do.”

“I’m really gonna look into it.”

“Mitchell has one of the best universities in the Midwest.”

“True, but my plan is to still go to MIT. My parents have always said they’d send me, and I’m really thinkin’ about taking them up on their offer.”

Matthew knew he must be dreaming. MIT? She was planning to go all the way to Cambridge, Massachusetts? Had she somehow forgotten she had a son and a husband? Jasmine must have been wondering the same thing because the look on her face screamed disbelief. She was just as confused as Matthew.

But he guessed Jasmine couldn’t help asking her about their son. “So you’re going to leave MJ?”

“Only until I graduate, and I’ll be home during the summers, anyway. I’ll be home for holidays, too. MJ’ll be fine. He has his dad and his grandparents.”

“Oh okay,” was all Jasmine said.

Matthew’s stomach swirled violently. The rest of his body fell numb. Her words sounded too real and like she meant what she was saying. She acted as though her mind was already made up, but what Matthew didn’t understand was where this new attitude of hers was coming from. Just this weekend, they’d argued about her not doing anything around the house and not wanting to go out anywhere, yet now she was ready to pack her bags and take off to the East Coast? Not to mention, for four whole years? As it was, early this morning, she’d e-mailed him that list of things to pick up because she didn’t want to have to leave the apartment. He’d only been at work for his normal eight hours and then gone to the store right after, so he couldn’t imagine what had happened to her mind in such a short period of time. He was afraid for her, but he was more afraid for him and MJ.

“Hey, are you hungry?” Racquel asked Jasmine. She was changing the subject and still acting as though Matthew and MJ weren’t there with them.

“No, I’m good. Maybe we can plan a day to go out to lunch or dinner, though. That’s if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Of course I am. We can go tomorrow if you want. How about Big Italy’s at noon?”

Jasmine paused but then said, “Sounds good.”

They chatted for another twenty minutes or so, and just as Matthew came back from laying MJ in his crib, Jasmine stood up.

“Oh well, I guess I should be going. But I’m so glad I stopped by.”

“Me, too, girl,” Racquel said, hugging her. “It really is good to see you.”

“I’ll call you in the morning,” she said and then looked at Matthew. “See you later, Matt.”

“Take care,” he said, “and thanks.”

Racquel walked her to the door and hugged her again. When Jasmine left, Racquel walked back through the living room, heading to their bedroom. She looked right past Matthew until he stopped her.

“So you’re still not speakin’ to me? You don’t have anything to say?”

“About what, Matt? My decision to go back to school? Well, before you go all ballistic, I may as well tell you: my mind is made up, and I’m not changing it.”

“What about MJ, Racquel? What about me?”

“I really don’t wanna talk about this right now,” she said, turning away from him.

“What’s wrong with you? And when did you decide all this?”

“Didn’t you hear what I just told Jasmine? I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“So, you’re just gonna leave us? Just like that?”

“Matt, why are you doing this?”

“Because this doesn’t make any sense. And why were you ignoring MJ? Our son was in there crying his little eyes out, and all you were doin’ was sittin’ in our bedroom watching TV?”

“I’m tired! I’m tired of all the crying, all the diaper changing, the feedings, and everything else!” she screamed, walking toward him and stabbing him in his chest with her forefinger. “Do you hear what I’m saying? I’m tired of pretending like I love being a mother when there are days when I wish I’d never had MJ.”

Matthew scrunched his eyebrows. “What are you talking about? Nobody loves being a mother more than you do.”

“Yeah, I know you think that. Everybody does. But when your mother had DCFS take MJ away from me, I was so depressed I felt like I was losing my mind. But then, when I finally got him back, it was never the same.
He
was never the same. He cried all the time, he was sickly, and the only way I could keep him calm was to hold him all the time and stay at home with him.”

“But you held him all the time before DCFS took him.”

“It was different when I got him back. There was some sort of disconnect, and all this time I’ve never been able to shake it. I’ve tried to have the same bond with him, but I don’t. I do love him, but taking care of him twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week is driving me insane. And I can’t do it anymore.”

“But what happened today? Why were you just letting him cry?”

Racquel stared at him. “Matt, I do that all the time. Just not when you’re around to see it. Mostly, when I don’t pick him up, he cries himself to sleep, and I cry right along with him. I leave him in his room, and I stay in mine.”

“Dear God, no. Baby, please tell me you haven’t been treating our son that way.”

“I’m sorry, and I feel awful about it, but this afternoon I decided I couldn’t pretend anymore. Now it’s time I take care of me, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

“This is crazy,” he shouted, storming past her. “As a matter of fact,
you’re
crazy.”

“Maybe I am, Matt, but I’m still leaving for school in September. I’ll even give you a divorce if you want.”

Matthew stared at her, speechless. She gazed at him, too, but then she finally walked away.

He had a mind to grab his son and leave there for good, but where would he go? His aunt Emma would gladly take him in if he asked her and so would Alicia, but he couldn’t do that. He was too ashamed to let them see how terribly he’d failed as a husband, a father, and also as a person. More important, he truly loved Racquel and didn’t want to lose her. For months, he’d been questioning whether he was still in love with her at all, but now he knew he was. He had realized it the moment she’d offered him a divorce for the second time. She’d done it with ease and with no real emotion, and now he could barely function. He could hardly keep a dry face, but he had to figure out what to do—about Racquel, his marriage, and, of course, his precious little MJ.